Hi! So this is my first BL fic and my first OC fic, so please be gentle! And remember...I own nothing.

Props to Kelly, my BL expert!

This is for you, Lourdes!

Mai Tais weren't exactly Jodie Stewart's thing, but she didn't figure that out until it was too late. However, never one to waste a cocktail, she sipped her Mai Tai quietly by the pool, enjoying the slight summer breeze that that blew through her dark brown hair and wafted over her heated skin. Bikinis weren't generally her thing either, but she was on vacation, and vacations were for doing things you wouldn't normally do, or at least that's what she'd heard.

Being a third year associate at one of the most prestigious law firms in Boston didn't afford much vacation time. Jodie was well aware that her free time would be ate up with paperwork and research and all the other nonsense that came along with being a lawyer when she applied to Harvard law, ans she was fine with that. She HADN'T been aware that her social life would disappear altogether, but she quickly learned to do without one. Who needed friends, right? Wrong. That particular motto was why, when her boss had insisted that she use up some vacation days, she had ended up at a fancy resort, all alone, being ogled by old men in board shorts. Not the best way to spend a vacation. Still, it was worth it to spend a few days away from the nuts at Crane, Poole, and Schmidt...

"Oh my! Small world. What are you doing here?"

No.

No, no, no. What kind of luck did she have that two of her superiors had made their way to the same resort she was staying in? No luck. No luck at all. Jodie opened her eyes, immediately shading them with her hand against the glare of the hot sun. Squinting, she could barely make out the forms of a leering Denny Crane and an openly curious Alan Shore.

What were they doing? Had they followed her to the resort? Was her taking a few days for herself such an imposition that the firm sent these two clowns to come get her?

"What am I doing here?" she sputtered, rising indignantly from her lounge chair. "What the hell are YOU doing here?" Maybe it wasn't the best idea to react so harshly, but since it was already out there, hanging awkwardly between them, she figured she had to see it through. Squaring her shoulders, she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for a response.

Alan Shore was never short on witty retorts, so Jodie was taken aback when his response was nothing short of a fumble. "Pardon us. We only meant that..."

"Oh I know what you meant," Jodie interrupted shamelessly. "I do get to have a life outside of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt, you know. And if you're here to bust me, then let me just say that Shirley Schmidt knows I'm here..." A sharp gasp from Denny, who had migrated slowly to her side, knocked her off her train of thought. "Does Shirley know WE'RE here?" he asked, closer to her face than she'd have preferred. When all the answer he could get was a raised brow, he shot an apologetic look to Alan. "I might have told her we were traveling for a case."

Alan sighed. "Of course. Is the firm paying for this?"

Denny nodded and swigged his scotch. "Of course."

Jodie, uncomfortable with the proximity, took a step away from Denny, who tended to get handsy if left unchecked...or so she had heard. From every woman who had ever shared an elevator with the man. Seemingly oblivious to Jodie's need for space, Denny stepped with her... some odd variation of a dance. Leaning into her, he whispered loud enough for the word to hear, "Have we slept together?"

It was all Jodie could do to keep herself from slapping her boss upside his thick head. But, as she glared into his blue eyes and saw the genuine curiousity they held, she softened. Rumors of Alzheimers had been sweeping through the firm like wildfire over the past year, and as invincible as Denny Crane had always seemed to Jodie, it looked like the rumors were true. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and winked. "No...but you're working on it."

The hopeful, innocent look in Denny's eyes made Jodie feel a little ashamed. Of course they weren't there to bust her. They were on vacation too. She almost said as much until she turned and caught Alan taking in every inch of her body like he was trying to memorize it.

Pervert.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest -as if that would stop Alan from looking- Jodie tried to remind herself that the man standing before her had the ear of every partner at Crane, Poole, and Schmidt, and it wouldn't do to antagonize him. It didn't work.

"Well... if you're not here to bust my chops...go away."

It was absolutely infuriating that Alan only smiled while Denny slung an arm around her shoulders. "Don't be such a spoilsport, Jessie!" Jodie took a deep breath, mentally counting to ten.

Alan cleared his throat, trying to hide a smile. "Jodie." When Denny failed to awknowledge his mistake, Alan tried again to smooth things over. "I don't know what you're going on about. We're here to relax and have a good time, just like you are."

Jodie did not fail to notice his eyes falling down once more to her breasts. The man had no shame.

"Excuse me if I don't think sunbathing in my bikini while my colleagues gawk is very relaxing."

Sunbathing while anybody watched wasn't her idea of relaxing. Jodie was beginning to think that a colder climate would have suited her better.

Gesturing to the chairs across the pool, Alan laughed incredulously. "We're just going to gawk from the other side of the pool. Why move when we can see much better from right here?"

"You are crass," Jodie snapped as she sat back down on her lounge chair and picked up her now watered-down Mai Tai. "The both of you. I am thanking my lucky stars at this very moment that we don't work on the same floor."

Instead of repelling her surprise companions, this seemed to pique their interest. Jodie groaned as Denny took the chair to her right and Alan settled in the chair to her left. Alan folded his hands over his stomach as if he intended to stay for a while. "Why don't we work on the same floor?"

Jodie sniffed. "Because they could never pay me enough to work where I have to breathe the same air as the two of you. No telling what I'd catch." She gestured for the waiter, who held up his finger to signal that it would be a minute. Would no one save her from this conversation?

Denny remained unbothered, and Alan just remained amused. "Catty."

Jodie smiled, growing rather amused at the situation herself. "I'm on vacation. I'm allowed to be."

Alan leaned in, and Jodie fought the shiver that threatened to tingle down her spine. "Well, then, I'm allowed to ogle your bikini-clad body without fear of a sexual harrassment suit."

Denny's ears visibly pricked. "Did this vacation just get a little bit better?"

"Not for you." Jodie smiled brightly at the waiter, who had finally decided to make an appearance. "Yes...could you take this away and bring me something else?" She placed the Mai Tai on his tray. "Something stronger? A Margarita? Rocks, salted." Alan rolled his eyes and Jodie smiled wider. "And a shot of tequila on the side. Thank you!"

Alan stood as the waiter left to retrieve her generous order of alcohol. "Well if you're going to be this way, I'm going to focus my attentions on someone who'll appreciate them." He let his gaze wander to a woman sitting at the end of the pool, reading a book, oblivious to the onslaught of over-sexualized flirting she was about to receive.

Jodie smiled, sending her mental sympathies to the poor woman. "Good luck with that."

"I won't need it," Alan muttered under his breath as he walked away.

Denny watched as Alan made his way slowly toward the woman, crinkling his nose when Jodie made a face. "You know, it wouldn't hurt you to loosen up a bit."

"I am plenty loose," Jodie retorted. "I'm just not interested in watching Alan Shore make a fool of himself."

Denny shook his head. "You're wrong. Alan knows what he's doing. Just lie back and watch the master at work."

"The master?"

"Oh yeah..." Denny grinned. "Nobody gets back on the horse like Alan Shore."

"Back on the horse?" Jodie shook her head emphatically. "Tara's only been gone for a few weeks! The man hasn't even really had time to mourn...to grieve the end of meaningful relationship!" She had heard from several of the office gossips that Tara had went to far as to move back to England. If that wasn't hurtful, Jodie didn't know what was.

Denny shrugged as he re-lit a cigar. "We fished! He's good." Ignoring Jodie's questioning look, he continued to watch Alan's progress until she couldn't help but join him. Alan was really performing beautifully. By this time, the woman had even laid aside her book to focus on whatever bait he was setting out for her. Therefore, Jodie was very surprised when things took a deep dive south. The woman's flattered, amused expression turned to one of insulted confusion. Jodie couldn't hear all that much of the conversation, but what she did heard did not make sense. Jumbled, nonsensical words tumbled out of Alan's mouth as the woman reached for her drink. It seemed as though the entire pool, including the waiter, who stopped still in his tracks with Jodie's drinks, was watching as the woman emptied her drink onto Alan's face.

Jodie could not turn away as she gripped Denny's arm. "The master is wearing a Mojito."

Denny held up his scotch. "And he wears it well."