A/N: Commission for tippster1992. It's been so long since I've written about the Marauders~ Love these guys.

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"In 1745, Grunch the Gargler had called his twenty third council to discuss the tariff on hinkypunk liver in order to make the decision between 2.79% and 2.8% tax when selling the substance within—"

Rrriiiiing.

"—and after furious debate, Ump the Unlikely proposed to raise the tax to 3%, earning him the support of—"

Several sleeping students roused themselves at the sound of the bell and hurried to collect their books before Professor Binns noticed that class had ended and decided to add another fifteen centimeters to their pile of homework. The ghostly teacher paid no attention as he droned on and on, not even when one particular second year student gave an audible sigh of relief. "Finally!"

James Potter theatrically dragged himself from the classroom with his friends in tow. "Who honestly cares about hinkypunk liver? Who?"

Sirius grinned. "Remus does. He was on the edge of his seat the whole time."

"I was not," the pale boy blushed.

James looked over to the bundle Remus carried and swiped away the notebook he'd been using in class. He scrunched up his nose at the notes and asked, "Ugh! Did you actually write down everything he said?"

"Just the basics," Remus insisted.

James squinted at the tiny, neat bullet points and handed it back with a shudder. "One of these days, I'm not going to wake up from that class. Just like Binns. He probably bored himself to death reading about those stupid goblins and he's trying to do the same thing to us."

Sirius and Peter laughed, but Remus barely cracked a smile. He tucked the notebook away in his bag and continued on to the common room in silence while the other boys talked and joked. He cleared his throat and said, "I'm going to go on ahead. I've got some things to do."

"Don't forget about tonight!" Peter tittered.

Remus flashed them a weak smile, gave a noncommittal response, and hurried on ahead towards Gryffindor Tower. Of course he hadn't forgotten about their plans. James and Sirius orchestrated a grand plan to break into the Quidditch pitch in the middle of the night and "borrow" some of the broomsticks from the shed to play a few two-sided rounds. James may have been a natural flier, but the other boys weren't quite as lucky. Sirius was fair, but liked to boast that he was on par with James. Remus and Peter were dreadful, but as usual, Remus was roped in by association. If nothing else, he had to make sure that nothing would go wrong. And, in James' words, "If you don't go, Sirius and I are just going to use Peter for target practice."

They had an odd way of coercing Remus into their antics.

Though, of course, they had no idea that Remus could not attend that night. He'd known the moment James selected the date, though rather than make up an excuse beforehand, decided to feign enthusiasm to participate. He sighed, because as much as he disliked all of the troublemaking his friends did, it was nice to feel wanted somewhere. To feel as if he belonged. He had six long years left at Hogwarts, and he couldn't afford to lose his only friends so soon.

So, he had to lie.

Remus took the steps two at a time, hurrying by upperclassmen on his way. He paused, panting in front of the Fat Lady, who smiled at him.

"Oh, it's the quiet boy. Would you like to hear the poem Vi and I have been working on?"

"Sorry, another time," Remus huffed. "Pixie dust."

"Oh, all right," she muttered dejectedly and swung open at the sound of the password.

The common room was rather empty since few very students had gotten there so soon after class. Remus hurried to his deserted dormitory, checked once over his shoulder just in case, and then reached under his mattress. He extracted a sealed envelope, broke the wax, and unfolded the letter before setting it down where it could be easily seen on his bedside table. He laid it down as flat as he could, inviting others to read it, as he quickly upended his bookbag and began to fill it with a weekends' worth of clothes. He shrugged out of his uniform and pulled on a sweater and jeans before slinging the bag over his shoulder and grabbing his travelling cloak from the coat rack. He fished around in his trunk for a moment, looking for a particular bottle. Frowning, he took out his wand and murmured, "Accio potion-"

The door burst open and Remus, in his nervous state, jumped and hurried to tuck his wand away, slamming his trunk closed in the process even as the bottle he was looking for sprang to the top of the pile inside.

James, Sirius, and Peter quieted as they entered the room, seeming surprised to find Remus already there.

"Going somewhere?" Sirius asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"Yes. Unfortunately. My mother just sent me an owl. My grandfather's quite ill and they're afraid he's close to the end. I have to leave immediately to see him before he passes."

"I thought your grandfather was dead," Peter remarked. "You went to his funeral right around exams last year."

"No, this is my mother's father," Remus explained as he inched towards the door. "I'm sorry to cancel at the last minute, but—"

"Your family members seem to get sick a lot," James said.

"Yes. Weak immune systems seem to run through both sides of my family. I'd love to stay and chat, but I really must go as soon as possible."

"What about quidditch tonight?" Peter whined.

Remus grimaced. "Sorry. Perhaps another night."

"But tonight was perfect!" James exclaimed. It's the one night of the week Hagrid goes to the Three Broomsticks so no one would catch us AND we'd have light 'cause it's a full moon! How could it be more awesome?"

Remus damned himself for noticeably cringing at the mention of the moon, and turned his back on the others as he made his way back downstairs. "I'm sorry, James. Next time."

As the boy tried to hide his guilt and discomfort, he heard Sirius suggest innocently, "Why don't we ask Snivellus to play Keeper?"

Laughter echoed in the room behind him, and Remus sighed. He might feel as if he was a part of their world, but he couldn't be farther from it. How could someone with his… affliction… ever truly integrate with normal people?

Once Remus was gone, Peter scurried over to the bedside table where he'd put down the letter. He sat on the edge of Remus' bed as he read it over, and Sirius scoffed. "A little nosy, aren't we?"

Peter flushed and scrambled to put the letter down, but Sirius jerked it out of his hands.

"Dear Remus," he read, "your grandfather has fallen ill again, as we feared. This may be your last opportunity to see him. I hate to disturb your studies, but he wishes to see his only grandchild one more time before he passes. Father and I are coming to collect you from Hogsmeade right after classes. Love, Mother."

James stared. "Hang on a moment. His only grandchild? Wasn't Remus just going on about how he was visiting his cousin in St. Mungo's last month because he got into a tussle with a rabid Kneazle?"

"And last year, he said his other cousin was getting married and he was going away for the weekend to be the ring bearer," Peter added.

Sirius's brow furrowed. "Something smells fishy."

Peter chewed on his nails. "Do you think he's… trying to ditch us? Maybe he doesn't like us."

Meanwhile, James eyed the sleeve of a sweater that was hanging from Remus' trunk. It was unlike Remus to leave anything out of place, even when he was in a hurry. Curious, he opened up the trunk, and looked at the bottle sitting on top. He scooped it up and inspected the label.

"You shouldn't go through his stuff," Peter insisted.

"You were the one reading his mail," Sirius jibed.

James held up the bottle and asked, "Did Remus look maimed at all today?"

Sirius shrugged. "A bit peaky. Not what I'd call maimed – what is that?"

"Essence of dittany," James replied, adjusting his glasses. "You know, that smelly stuff they use to make wounds heal up."

"Oh, gross," Sirius grimaced. "My mum used that on Reg when I pushed him down the stairs once. Split his forehead right open and he didn't smell right for a week. Then again, that could have just been Kreacher rubbing off on him."

James shook it and found it to be half empty. "So what has Remus been using this stuff for?"

Peter's face lit up. "Maybe it's not really brittany!"

"Dittany," Sirius corrected.

"Yeah, that," the mousy boy nodded. "Maybe he's keeping something else in the bottle and hiding what it actually is."

Surprised by Peter's rare stroke of cleverness, James pulled the stopper from the bottle. Both he and Sirius leaned in for a sniff, and then recoiled in disgust.

"Ugh! Definitely dittany."

James replaced the stopper and frowned. "This stuff is pretty rare, right?"

"About as rare as Snivelly's showers."

"Maybe we should go give it to him," Peter suggested. "It looks like he just forgot it. And if it's that rare, he might need it."

"Let's get a move on then, shall we?" Sirius said.

James pushed the bottle into his pocket, but paused by his bed. He reached under it and pulled out the silvery bundle of cloth he kept hidden there and tucked it into his robes.

"The Cloak?" Peter asked.

"Just in case."

Together, the three boys hurried down from Gryffindor Tower and took several shortcuts to cut off Remus in the foyer. Hopefully, Remus hadn't taken these shortcuts himself, so they might still catch him in time. James was looking forward to questioning him about the content of the letter as well as the little potion, and did not want to wait.

Just as they passed the Great Hall, Sirius ground to a halt looking in the opposite direction. Peter, who was lagging behind, huffed and puffed and careened into Sirius. James skidded to stop and asked, "What's wrong?"

Sirius pressed a finger to his own lips and pointed to the other side of the stairwell where Remus had just disappeared. Wherever he was going, it was not in the direction of the grounds or anywhere at all that might lead him to Hogsmeade Station. Nodding in unison, they crept along the hall as quietly as they could. The corridor Remus was walking down was too narrow to conceal them, so once they were out of sight of other students, James pulled out the Invisibility Cloak and threw it over the trio. They shuffled along in near silence and watched from a distance as Remus took a turn towards the infirmary.

He began to wonder: was Remus really hurt? It would explain the dittany, and maybe the lame excuses that were growing weaker every month as he disappeared… But what was wrong with him? And why wouldn't he let his friends know?

"Madam Pomfrey?"

"Hello, Remus," the young nurse called. "You're early today."

"Yes. Is it too early to leave?"

"No, no. Not at all. Give me a moment to collect the potions Horace sent for you…"

As she rummaged about, the trio snuck closer. Peter breathed noisily as he tried to get a better view; James clamped his hand over the other boy's mouth.

"Actually, I… I was wondering if you had any dittany left. I seem to have lost mine…"

"Lost it? That isn't like you, Remus."

Even from far away, it was apparent that Remus was blushing. "I know. I'm sorry."

She sighed, and it sounded so sad that James had to wonder what on earth was so important about that potion.

"I'm afraid I gave you my last bottle. I'll ask Horace if he has any leftover, but I don't believe you'll get any until next month. Close the door, sweetheart. In the meantime, I can give you an extra dose of this to take the edge off…"

With a grimace, Remus walked to the door to close it. For a fleeting moment, James thought he was looking right at them under the Cloak – but then his eyes did one final sweep of the hallway, and the infirmary door closed with a soft click.

James finally released his hold on Peter, who floundered as he gasped for air. He looked to Sirius, who seemed equally puzzled.

"This just gets weirder and weirder."

"At least we know for sure now that he plans to leave every month."

"But – for what?" Peter gasped.

The answer came to James and Sirius nearly simultaneously. The bespectacled boy remarked, "It's a full moon tonight."

"What do you want to bet there was one last month the night Remus left?"

"And the time before that, too," James said.

Peter looked between the two of them, not quite understanding. "So what?"

James grinned. "I think he's got a furry little problem he's not telling us about."

Sirius smirked. Poor Peter was lost. His brow furrowed and the boys could practically see the gears turning desperately in his mind as he thought hard.

"So," Peter fumbled, "you think he… uh… has a really nasty pet? And he needs the dittany to heal up his wounds when he handles it?"

It took a lot of self-control not to double over laughing. Sirius dope slapped the smaller boy and snapped, "Were you listening at all? What the bloody hell does any of that have to do with the full moon?"

Before any of them could respond, the door opened without warning. They scrambled to get their backs flat against the wall, and James quickly checked that their feet weren't poking out from under the cloak. Madam Pomfrey had a travelling cloak on that covered her uniform so that at first glance, she seemed like just another person. Trailing behind her was Remus, his own cloak on and drawn up so that the hood swallowed up his face. He seemed wary as he looked about the corridor, and this time, he really was looking at the patch of wall where the boys were hidden. James held his breath.

"Is something wrong, dear?" the nurse asked.

"I thought I heard…" he paused to shake himself. "Nevermind. It's nothing."

Once they were out of earshot, Peter muttered, "Where are they going?"

"Probably not to Hogsmeade," James replied.

They followed as close as they could without making too much racket, but once or twice, Remus looked over his shoulder suspiciously. Nearly all the students had gathered at the Great Hall for lunch, and it was bustling and crowded when they passed it. No one paid any mind to the cloaked woman and child striding through the halls, silent as ghosts.

Once they reached the doorway, Madam Pomfrey paused and so did the boys. She pulled her wand from her sleeve, murmured a spell, and just like that, Remus melted from view. They stared, awestruck, until James realized that Remus was not quite invisible: he'd simply taken on a vivid chameleon like quality to blend in with his surroundings. In that fashion, they disappeared from the foyer, and James urged them onward to slip past the large double doors before they closed. James was right; they weren't heading in the direction of Hogsmeade. But they were heading towards the Forbidden Forest. As they drew closer, Madam Pomfrey and Remus began to walk along the line of trees where they were hidden in midday shadow. Peter seized up, but Sirius and James each grabbed him under an arm and dragged him along. On and on they went, and then, their destination became clear.

"Is she crazy?" Sirius hissed.

Madam Pomfrey had stopped just outside the Whomping Willow. Even as the disgruntled tree began to shudder and wind up to take a swing at her, she pulled out her wand, summoned a fallen branch, and launched it at a knot half-buried in the roots of the tree. Instantaneously, the Willow froze – and for once, it looked like a nice, normal tree. She patted the slight, obscured form of Remus on the shoulder and urged him forward as she stepped back from the tree.

"What's happening?" Peter asked, standing on tip-toe to see better.

But not even Sirius was tall enough to see, and they crept closer and closer – they were barely five meters from the nurse – and if James squinted just enough, he could see Remus' odd form huddling down between a gap in the roots -

And he disappeared.

All three of them froze. The Whomping Willow gave itself a little shake, and resumed its usual threatening behavior. Madam Pomfrey waited for a few moments longer, then adjusted her hood and retraced her steps to the castle. She passed within arm's length of the boys, and when she was gone, Sirius was the first to speak.

"Bloody hell."

Peter nodded in agreement. James shrugged. "I'd say it's about time we got to the bottom of this."

When he started forward for the Willow, Peter spluttered, "What are you – James, you can't be serious!"

"Of course he's not, I'm Sirius. Idiot."

"Quit joking around. Are you guys with me or not?"

Sirius looked at their fearless leader and shook his head with a slight smile on his face. "I'll grab something to poke the knot."

"You too?" Peter moaned.

Sirius pulled off the cloak and tucked it under his arm as he fished around for a long branch and James peered around just out of the tree's swinging range to better see the gap in the roots that Remus disappeared through.

"Aha!" Sirius declared. "Wish me luck!" And with that, he darted forward before the tree could react and stabbed at the knot with the end of his branch. Just like before, the tree was immobilized.

"Wicked," James said.

Together, the boys hurried over to the twisted roots and dropped down into the obscured hole. After nervously shifting from foot to foot for a few seconds, Peter whined, "Wait for me!" He ran up just as the tree twitched to life and narrowly avoided getting whacked as he stumbled into the hole as well. He tripped inside and fell with his face flat against the floor. James and Sirius shared a sigh, then hoisted up the bumbling boy.

Sirius dusted off Peter's dirty shirt and commented, "That was graceful."

James shushed them and hissed, "We're supposed to be sneaking after Remus. How is all of this noise sneaky?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, Potter."

James elbowed him in the side, and with Peter scurrying after them, they made their way down the strange earthen corridor to find their elusive friend.