Prologue
A woman walked through an empty corridor, full of plain wooden doors and white carpet to make this place looking plain, that is what is was supposed to be plain. The patients may respond adversely to colour or a pattern so this woman decided she did not want that, she wanted a calm soothing environment that kept the alert security force hidden unless an alarm was pressed. Alarms on the wall, doors and also a small rectangular box around the necks of all staff, if pulled or pressed hard it too would trigger the alarm. The woman was rather tall and very slender with a stern face which seemed out of place due to her kind eyes underlined with wrinkles, she was in her early fifties and walked in flat shows and a long beige jacket with trousers and a long sleeved top beneath. Her hair was a dull red which had aged with her but sat atop her head firmly, her skin while wrinkled and stretched was a light white and she walked with grace. She looked slightly solemn as she opened the door to her office.
Dr Amelia Granger
"Ahh Professor Dumbledore," she greeted in a sweet voice that seemed laced with falseness, she smiled before walking through her office to her desk. A large oak thing with a computer screen, keyboard and mouse all set out properly. A window overlooked a large green area that was used to soothe parents and relatives, not the patients who were treated elsewhere, the floor was carpeted with a slight overlap of a green and red carpet which stopped short of two bookcases. One filled with untouched encyclopaedias and the other filled with books written by an Evelyn Granger, a false name she used.
"Albus please Dr Granger," the bearded man smiled but he could not disguise his worry with politeness, they had known each other for six months now, starting with her eight year old daughter exhibiting strange behaviours which had eventually been explained after a number of minor incidents. The two had become something of friends after another more tragic event forced the headmaster to seek help,
"Call me Amelia," she told him sitting at her desk and pulling a leather black chair closer, she wanted to be comfortable.
"Now I shall skip the formalities and play you a selection of the tapes," she decided withdrawing a small cassette player from her pocket and rewinding the tape she had been recording earlier. Dumbledore was suddenly a lot more alert
Good afternoon again Harry how are you? The recording began and both the Dr and Dumbledore were concentrating, she was trying to ensure she had missed nothing while he was worried about this.
Fine can I ask you something? Was the quick response
Of course,
Hermione say's you're a dentist but you're not are you? The young voice of Harry Potter inquired with some obviously confusion
Ahh you met her, did you like her?
I did she's nice and didn't tell her you're not a dentist, Harry explained and Dumbledore knew this was not something a boy of his age would do, a very subtle thing to notice but when it was being piped into his ear it was different.
Thank you, I asked you to meet her because I thought you needed more time with people your own age, however I tell her I'm a dentist because her father is and I don't want her exposed to my kind of work, I like to keep my professional and private lives differently. It is also why I use a name on my books the doctor had answered and sounded like she was having a conversation with a much older person.
Ok, I thought Evelyn Granger was you, the third chapter in matter over mind reminded me of you Harry answered, Dumbledore had brought the book but had no idea Harry had read it.
I didn't know you read it, did you like it? I thought it would be a bit daunting for one so young
I read it when Dumbledore was out, Minerva came round but she didn't know much about the book Harry answered
You have been living with Professor Dumbledore for a long time now, are you happy?
I am, he saved me, Harry said somewhat quieter. A finger suddenly hit the forward button on the cassette and the conversation was sped up for a few seconds
Dr Granger am I a monster? Harry asked when the tape had resumed
A monster? What makes you ask that?
In your book you say you work with damaged people who need a lot of help, some of those people went on to become bad people, monsters. Am I one?
I don't know are you?
I don't know Harry answered sounding both sincere and worried
I don't think you're a monster Amelia had pointed out but looking back now she realised it was not the thing to say
Then why are you working with me?
Because something terrible happened to you and want to help you through it
I was helped through when I put the scissors into his neck, the knife through her artery and the hammer into his brain the recording ended their and on that disturbing note Dumbledore looked shocked.
"The abuse he suffered was obviously physical, verbal and due to this aunt I believe sexual which I think is why he waited until she was in the shower before slicing open her femoral artery, two months ago when the police arrived to Number Privet Drive they found a crying eight year old. Harry say's no they were tears of joy," Amelia answered feeling slightly sick at what she suspected had been done to the poor boy.
"Joy? But he killed three people," Dumbledore questioned shocked
"Vernon Dursley was a sadistic creature, enjoyed torturing many people and with someone he had what he thought was reason to hate, well he went wild. Petunia Dursley was a woman forced to go to extremes by her husband and then sought them leading to whatever happened with her and Harry, Dudley Durlsey isolated and bullied him. I believe his murder was not thought out, unlike Petunia and Vernon's," she answered believing Dudley to have been in the wrong place when Harry's rage was on show.
"How do you know it was thought out?" Dumbledore asked, he had been to the scene and wiped every police officer's mind of Harry but the boy had confessed three times before he arrived. Dumbledore knew Harry had enjoyed the murder
"Because of how it was done, Vernon Dursley had his throat slit with scissors, the femoral artery is hard to hit but Harry must have known where it was and which is why I believe he was sexually abused. Dudley was just in the middle when Harry needed more to vent, eight years of abuse was projected onto the nine year old who was hammered to death," she answered knowing the signs all too well. She had been working with Harry for the last two months after Dumbledore had taken him in and found out what happened.
"He's a psychopath Albus, the abuse he's suffered has rendered him a psychopath," she explained wanting to drop the bombshell now
"So he is a monster," the man sighed realising those people had caused more damage to this boy than Voldemort ever could
"I didn't say that," Amelia answered, she did not generalise in that way, some psychopaths did not kill, some did, a lot did but often the best of the best had traits.
"Is it something he can move past?" Dumbledore asked with a gulp, Amelia looked at him without blinking; she had given this sort of news before, to parents, partners and the police.
"No, for now his murderous impulse for now is gone but imagine him a rechargeable battery. At the moment he is blown out but he will recharge and sooner or later this impulse will return, then it will go and then come back. Each interval will get shorter and will last the rest of his life," she answered thinking of the boy with a heavy heart, she saw Dumbledore's head sink.
"So he is a monster then," he decided, he had hoped her earlier statement had been good news however it had only solidified his views.
"Again I did not say that," she answered and Dumbledore looked up.
"What do you mean?" he asked wondering how a killer could not be a monster, Amelia looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Harry is a position unlike others, his horrific abuse cannot be forgotten, you intended to wipe his memory after I treated him but it will not work, the subconscious will always know. He will always have this impulse and I estimate five to six years before it returns. Putting him around his third year, however we have time," she answered suddenly looking around, she knew the door was soundproof and quickly asked Dumbledore to lock it.
"Thank you, well my suggestion while unfamiliar is something we should consider, his impulses could be vented to good use," she answered and Dumbledore looked stern.
"All killing is wrong," was his knee jerk reaction
"Indeed to us, not to Harry. He needs to understand right and wrong, he needs to learn to blend in with the world. He also needs to understand people who are wrong," she countered and Dumbledore looked confused.
"There are people in this world, murderers, rapists and worse, death eaters you mentioned," she pointed out and the man nodded trying to understand.
"So what if instead of an innocent young girl or vulnerable old man he instead removes them from this world," she suggested and Dumbledore looked suddenly conflicted.
"What do you mean?" he asked
"I mean we work with him and teach him to kill only them, have it engrained in his mind that it becomes an oath he is forced to live by, so when he feels the urge to kill he chooses the people who deserve it, for example who would you rather die. This Lord Voldemort you mentioned or me per say," she asked and Dumbledore didn't need to answer.
"Harry will murder again, unless you lock him up now but the best doctors in the world will do nothing , he will be confined to a mental hospital forever, other doctors will see what I see and never let him go. So either we let him go and he murders random people or a we help him and he ends up stopping a paedophile, a gang boss or worse," she argued.
"I don't like the idea," Dumbledore confessed after a few long moments
"Neither do I but I don't think Vernon Dursley can have his revenge from beyond the grave," she confessed angrily
"What do you mean?" the old man asked not fully understanding
"Vernon Dursley wanted to make him suffer and if he ends up in prison, hated by all for murdering an innocent then the man wins. If he is caught then who demands his death? How many people will stand up for him because he ended the life of someone who could hurt them, their children or friends," she explained gently.
"Is there anything else?" he asked and she shook her head
"No, there is nothing else," she answered knowing he would have this impulse
"And this urge won't appear until later life?" Dumbledore questioned,
"Oh it will but he can deal with most likely through small insects or animals, they will stop satisfying it later, however I doubt highly he will attempt to kill anyone at any point over the next three to four years, after that then it is a matter of when not if," she answered professionally
"Then let us do it,"
Six months later
"Albus! Good to see you, come in," Dr Granger greeted typing away at her computer, she was sending a warning message about a child psychopath who was going to become a sexual predator later in life. Once she finished she turned the man who had weekly meetings with her,
"You too Amelia," he responded, they had moved past small talk a long time ago and during their meetings they talked only about one thing. Harry
"So how is he?" she asked
"I caught him pulling the legs of a spider again, he didn't seem that interested mind you," Dumbledore confessed hating this part, he adopted the boy and took him into his home but it felt strange having to watch him and his behaviour. It was like living with a potential Tom Riddle
"I see, I told you that would happen, you may see more of it but do let me know. Has he adapted well to life at home," she asked
"He is very cautious about objects and me, I think he's waiting for the violence to start but he doesn't know that not everyone is violent to him, he's friendly will Minerva though," Dumbledore answered
"Good, that should pass quickly his fear of you, Minerva I'm surprised as with what his aunt did I assumed his mind was edge towards the other option," she muttered opening a locked drawer for her notes, when she noticed Dumbledore's expression she decided to explain.
"The abuse from his aunt I assumed would make him fearful or disgusted by females but there a small chance he would instead use them in the same way he was used. Well in a different sense but it's not a reaction I expected, be mindful of it," she decided.
Three years later
"Good evening Harry how are you?" Dr Granger greeted with a warm smile as she walked into one of the patient rooms, it was a simple white room with very few objects apart from a number of pictures and a chair allowing a patient to lay down.
"Dr Granger?" Harry questioned, he had not seen this woman in over two years
"Good you remember me, how is my daughter? Professor Dumbledore said you were good friends," she pointed out wondering what his response would be.
"She's fine," Harry told her simply not going into much detail
"Good, Now how have you been? " she asked wanting to rebuild a relationship before she went into what had happened
"Fine, Albus adopted me and I got accepted into Hogwarts but you knew that," Harry realised suddenly wondering just how much knowledge she had on him
"I did, are you happy at home and school?" she asked simply
"Happier than I was," Harry answered darkly and she knew what he was referring to, but they had done that years ago
"Good now Professor Dumbledore asked me to speak to you about what happened two nights ago on Halloween," she explained and Harry looked like he had been caught doing something wrong and realised he could not wiggle out of trouble now.
"The troll," he said eventually,
"Exactly, now I would like to thank you for saving my daughter but also I want to know why you killed the troll," she began needing to be blunt
"How do you know I did it? The teachers said the fall did it," Harry countered and Amelia had to admire him for using evidence to back up his points, however he was almost accepting he did it.
"Because that is what you made them think, very easily magical people I have found do not study evidence carefully. The fall did not kill the troll, the cut on the vein on the back of its neck did now I don't know much about trolls but Professor Dumbledore tells me they do not cut easily. Now I'm not here to judge you, so why did you do it?" she asked and Harry looked thoughtful, wondering if he could trust her.
"Because I had to, when it fell it was going to get back up and they would let it go, it would kill other people and I needed to stop it. So when I heard about the troll I grabbed a knife and me and Ron went to the bathroom, I hit the knife and when it fell I cut the blood vessel at the back of its neck, an odd place for one but everyone thought it was the fall," Harry confessed eventually deciding he could and the woman smiled at him with some genuine kindness.
"You followed your guardians rules then," she asked wondering if he had indeed taken them on, he nodded
"I did, I hid the knife and I killed something that was going to do something very wrong," Harry answered, Dumbledore had very slowly introduced him to the concept Amelia and he had worked on and slowly he was becoming accustomed to it.
"So you got the bathroom and your friend used a charm to knock it out, you saved my daughter and then you pretended to inspect the body," she checked wanting to get the facts straight.
"Well I hugged Hermione first but yes," he agreed and Dr Granger frowned, while it sounded simple it was not something she had been preparing for
"Why did you do that?" she asked and Harry was obviously about to say to make sure she was ok, however he also knew who he was talking to and they a policy of being honest to each other,
"I don't know, I wanted to," Harry answered "Does it matter?"
"I'm not sure yet," she told him scribbling a notation down, perhaps she had stumbled upon his pattern,
"Dr Granger I asked you a long time ago if I was a monster," he began
"Indeed you did," she agreed wondering what his question was
"Well when I killed the troll, I felt like I wanted to. It wasn't just about Hermione and the other people it could kill, it was also about me," Harry breathed sounding almost ashamed but in reality he was confused, his very low level of emotion was working against him. Amelia Granger stood up and did something she would never normally do, she hugged Harry,
"Listen to me, you are not a monster, what you did was make the world a better place. You are this person and I know you felt you wanted to kill it, but killing something that was going to hurt people including my daughter does not make you a monster,"