Not sure on this one but the plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. :)
Title: If today was your last day
Author: Cindy Ryan
pairings: Sam/Andy friendship possible preship
spoilers: Heavy for 2x04
Notes: mild swearing
'Each day's a gift and not a given right.'Nickelback 'If today was your last day'
Sam Swarek woke up in a literal cold sweat. He was shaking and breathing hard. Disoriented Sam glanced around finally recognizing his bedroom. Sitting up in bed the police officer struggled to regain control of his emotions.
He seldom got nightmares.
Check that he seldom remembered them.
This one was vivid and all too realistic.
Breathing finally returning to normal Sam flipped on the light and squinted at the alarm clock: two fifteen. He rubbed a hand over his face and thought about the dream.
It'd been about a funeral.
Andy's funeral.
In the nightmare the burned Laundromat had fully collapsed burying Andy and Lydia.
It'd been so real that Sam could smell the smoldering embers.
Hear the wood snapping as the roof gave way.
Feel pain in his left shoulder as Oliver tackled him to the ground to keep Sam from going into the rubble.
Standing Sam moved over to the window and opened it. The fresh air hit him in the face and he relished it. The weather had finally started to warm up. Finally start acting like late spring instead of endless winter.
The images of the nightmare were fading but Sam could still see and hear the honor guard as the guns went off.
Still saw her coffin being lowered into the cold ground.
A splinter bit into Sam's palm and it was only then that he realized he'd been gripping the window sil. The pain barely registered. Nothing like the sharp grief that had accompanied the dream.
Grief and failure.
Failure at not protecting Andy.
Failure at not telling her how important she was to him.
Resting his head against the glass of the window Sam struggled to regain control. Both his thoughts and emotions were in a whirlwind.
The building collapse hadn't been the first time Andy had nearly died in front of him.
It was part of the risk of accepting the badge.
So why had this incident brought the nightmare?
He'd lost sleep after the shooting but nothing like this.
Nothing this real.
Maybe it was a culmination of events. The shooting, her engagement, Callaghan's shooting, the building collapse all coming within months of each other.
All showcasing that Andy was slipping out of his life
Irony could be a bitch.
A woman he hadn't wanted anything to do with now was all he could think about.
As Sam stared down at the light traffic below the scenes from the nightmare came in flashes.
Oliver ashen faced telling him there were no survivors.
Hearing the quiet sobs of the other Rookies.
Numbly watching as Andy's body was pulled from the rubble as the sun set.
Returning to his bed Sam sat heavily down and ran a hand through his short hair.
He glanced at the cell phone resting on the nightstand.
The last thing Sam wanted to do was wake somebody.
Especially a certain somebody.
But Sam knew sleep wouldn't return unless he heard Andy's voice.
Picking up the phone Sam hit the third speed dial.
On the fifth ring Andy's groggy voice answered.
"Sam? They call us in?"
"No."Swarek replied instantly regretting waking her.
"You okay?"
"Yeah."Sam acknowledged as he scooted back against the pillow. "Couldn't sleep."
"Nightmare?"
Sidestepping the question because it made him feel five. "You want to meet for breakfast before shift?"
"Usual spot?"Andy asked with a yawn.
"Nine?"Sam inquired grateful she didn't press the nightmare question further.
"See you then."McNally stated sleepily. "Try to get some rest, Sam."
"I will."Swarek promised as he ended the conversation and set the phone back on the nightstand.
Turning the light off Sam tried not to think that at that moment Andy was snuggled against Callaghan. No matter what Sam tried he was never able to fall back asleep.