Boobiehagen was dashing through the streets of some Arabic town. He seemed to be incredibly intoxicated. Occasionally, the mad man refrained from pulling –quite frankly- disturbing faces, just for the purpose of yelling "bitches out the way, the swag mobile is coming through, muthafukers".
He then met up with an archaeologist who looked sort of like Indiana Jones but there was something a little off so he only looked a teensy bit like Indiana Jones. Boobiehagen then sat down across the table from the Indiana Jones looking guy.
"MOTHERFUCKING ANTICHRIST! HOLY ARSEBURGERS!"
"Calm yo' titties," replied the archaeologist. "I'm a fucking archaeologist not a priest. Take your religious shit out of my face."
"No!"
"Okay," the Indiana-Jones-looking-guy relented.
"So basically we're going to go into this really dangerous ancient tomb thing so we can see some paintings a mentally ill man did on a slab of rock at the height of insanity. Apparently they're paintings of the antichrist and are his exact alikeness. Also we're not gonna bring anyone who could help if the tomb thing caved in."
"Seems legit."
The Indiana Jones looking guy finished his drink and then boarded the swag mobile with Boobiehagen. The archaeologist was perturbed by the lewd and obscene comments Boobiehagen yelled at the Arabic people who passed by them. Ultimately, he decided that the guy's name was Boobiehagen and it wasn't really that surprising.
The tomb thing was really shit but Boobiehagen still took a picture of it and put it on instagram along with a few selfies. The archaeologist was starting to regret this.
They entered the tomb thing and Boobiehagen became extremely animated and started talking about the whore of Babylon even though it was obvious a fucking painting of medusa. It was actually really weird because this was probably somewhere in Arabia, right? Why the fuck are there paintings of Medusa in Arabia? Isn't Medusa a gorgon from the religion of the ancient Greeks? Then again, an awful lot of modern Christianity takes an awful lot of influence from ancient religions.
"Hey look it's the antichrist," said Boobiehagen.
"OMG, this proves all the things I'm really sorry for ever doubting you!"
Whilst the tearful apology and acceptance of said apology took place a swagalicious crow sat down on the top of the tomb. He was wearing his fave snapback which said 'obey' on it and he was feeling pretty dope.
The little bitches in the tomb thing were gonna fuck up some of the shit Satan planned so the crow did a thing and then the tunnel caved in and Boobiehagen and the Archaeolist died. I guess. I don't know, man. I mean they probably did.