Clair de Lune (Happy Birthday, James)

"Best birthday sex ever."

Lily rolled her eyes and playfully smacked James on the chest. "How dare you."

"… You're right. The one with Charlotte Fairchild two years ago was bloody fantas—"

"Stop!" Lily laughed and James joined her.

Soon, the laughter faded as each retreated into their respective thoughts. James traced invisible lines on her shoulder and affection pooled within her stomach, gradually spreading throughout her body. Sighing happily, she snuggled close to him and propped her cheek higher up his chest. Outside the window she could see the moon. It was brighter than usual—so bright, in fact, that it overpowered the elusive beauty of the stars. At the sight of it she felt nostalgic… and so incredibly small, as though she didn't matter.

In James' arms, though, she was at peace. Being vulnerable did not bother her as much as it should. Somehow he protected her from all troubling thoughts; she could even believe that nothing could ever harm them—not even the war. With James there was only silence. Lily compared it to being underwater: the world above had been dulled save for her heartbeat and the struggle of her lungs as it fought for air. In that precise moment she'd remember how good it was to be alive. When she eventually resurfaced it was with the knowledge that life, as she knew it, would be different… and so it would be different again tomorrow. That was how she felt with James; she knew it was a feeling that would never end. She saw how different and wonderful life was with him, and every day he'd promise her even more.

He was everything: good, bad, and wonderful. His cleverness was the root of his cruelty, but he was a person grown from love and from love he learned. Within him Lily saw the brilliance of both sun and moon, the clarity of black and white. He was two sides of nature, yin and yang, every balance… everything converged in him—this one boy with the hazel eyes and devil-may-care attitude. He lived life as it was meant to be. He frightened and thrilled her at the same time.

"We are having an unusually small amount of pillow talk," James prompted. His touches had moved to her side. Goosebumps erupted on her skin after every line he traced, kindling a small fire within the afterglow.

Lily squirmed. "I have nothing to talk about."

"Well, what were you thinking about?"

"Oh…" heat seeped into her cheeks, "just... didn't think I needed you in my life until I met you."

James' touches stopped and he didn't answer her immediately. It wasn't until she looked up at him that he gave her a barely restrained happy smile. He sighed in surprise. "Wow. That is one grand declaration."

"Overly sentimental, isn't it?" she said, looking at the moon, "but I wouldn't have it any other way now. I… believed that letting you in my life would be the worst thing that I'd ever do. Happiness wasn't what I expected… not with you."

"Merlin, Evans, I don't know what to say." James kissed the top of her head.

She smiled. "Is that a hint of smugness I hear?"

"Well, I like that I took you by surprise."

Again, Lily looked at James. In the dark they were green and big, his lashes frustratingly long. She ran her fingers down the side of his face, starting at his temple and slowly moving down to the corner of his eye. When she reached his cheek she caressed the skin gently. "Yes… yes, you did."

"I'm relieved," he said. "I talk like an arrogant twat, but most of it is rubbish. So this is nice."

"Only took you two years," she teased.

"Well, I didn't mind waiting," he laughed. "Godric, I'd wait forever if I had to."

"What if I didn't give you a chance at all?" this was not a typical love story. She could imagine exactly what her life would be like without him. In vivid detail. It scared her. Her world would have been devoid of life—devoid of him. Life would go on, but without the vibrancy that he brought with him.

"Life goes on."

"Just like that?"

James shrugged. "You'd have eventually found someone better and I… would have learned from my mistakes. I wouldn't deny that I'd be devastated, but I reckon I would have been happy that you were happy—no matter whom it'd be with."

The back of her eyes stung. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and buried her face in his chest. The way he squeezed her tightly somehow made her want to burst into tears. She said nothing, listening to him as he continued to speak, say words that made her fall for him all over again.

"But I am glad things turned out this way," he continued, "with you I learn about the things I'm doing right. I have undoubtedly been an arse all my life, Lily… and I don't want to be that with you—I don't want to be that ever again. You've given me a chance to know you and love you in any way I can. And, you know, turns out I don't have to be a prick to show my worth." He winked at her when she looked up at him. "I don't know about you, but that's heaps better than shagging Fairchild."

She stared, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "What the bloody hell are you?"

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head. In one, fluid movement she straddled his waist. The covers pooled around her hips as she stretched forward to bury her fingers in his hair. As she brought her face close to his her hair parted on either side of her head, creating a crimson curtain that shielded them from the world. "I'm just glad you were born."

"Why, that's a compliment," he chuckled, placing his hands on the backs of her thighs. Despite his playful smile the way he gazed at her was intense. She gripped his hair, skin heating with desire, and licked her lips, delighted at James' sharp intake of breath. Without hesitation she kissed him. They were both passionate, not bothering to waste time on being slow. Her heart raced, skipping a beat whenever James rubbed his tongue against hers or scraped his teeth along her bottom lip. Her mind, meanwhile, remained on the conversation they just had and she could not stop thinking about what it all meant.

Months ago she discovered that he had changed—and only recently, for her. Now, he just told her he was willing to wait an eternity for her, but if she made a different choice he was also willing to let her go. How could someone like him exist? No one's ever loved her like he did. It was fierce and gentle, sweeping her up and yet making her feel safe. In its overwhelming splendour she was breathless.

"Happy birthday," she murmured before trailing kisses down his neck and body.

For the rest of the night, they loved each other honestly. Tomorrow was school, their friends, and the war, but tonight only the two of them existed. Tonight, tomorrow did not exist. With each touch the deeper they fell in love and in this time any attempt at happiness may be futile… but as people, what else could they do but simply… love?

Note: This was a story I posted in my Tumblr for James' birthday. Well, I meant to post it on James' birthday, but the idea struck me a wee late so. Anyway, I decided to edit it while I struggle to push through my current writer's block. Well, I tried to edit it as best I can. It helped heaps, the editing, and because of that, I decided to post the story on here too!

I hope you enjoy.

Edited: 09/02/2019