A/N: I have never been good with multi-chapter fics. I often get bored with them within a couple chapters or get writer's block. But, despite my short attention span and temperamental muse, I decided to start a multi-chaper fic though it is probably going to be more on the short side. I was inspired by the song 'Everything We Had' by Academy Is and watching WIFLTBAG way too many times.

Disclaimer: Degrassi is not mine. Neither are the lyrics in this chapter which are Academy Is's from their song 'Everything We Had'.

You were the only face I'd ever known

I was the light from the lamp on the floor

It did not matter how many times he wrote each note.

She would never write back.

It was awful, really. Every day he would wait for the mail to be brought in and he would wait outside his room, for the receptionist to bring the mail. Every morning, the poor nurse handed him his letters, and he pawed through them, anxiousness and hope radiating off of him. It was the hopeful look in his eyes that was the worse, the way he would look at the receptionist when she came toward his room. She knew what he was waiting for. She also knew that it seemed as if what he was waiting for was never going to come. The receptionist often had trouble feeling sorry for those who got themselves landed at the rehab center. But, there was something about that hopeful look in his large, almost puppy-like eyes that made her want to wrap her arms around him and tell him that it was okay that the girl never wrote him back, that she was horrible and he should not think of her ever again.

"Gooood Morning, Ms. Beaumont. Don't you think it is a great morning? I have a feeling that today is going to be a great day, don't you?" he said, greeting the receptionist with that wide, hopeful grin that he greeted her with every morning. His arms swung at his sides. Ms. Beaumont knew it was taking him an amazing amount of self restraint to keep him from jumping onto her and grabbing the letters.

She forced a smile and handed him his small stack of letters. Within seconds, he was tearing through each letter, scanning it, then throwing it over his shoulder. With every letter, his wide grin seemed to bit by bit shrink until he got to the last one. He glanced at the address, trying to figure out whose handwriting it was. It looked so much like hers. His wide, child-like eyes seemed to glow with excitement as he ripped the letter open, praying that it was her.

Ms. Beaumont watched him, hoping that for the poor boy's sake, it was the letter he was waiting for.

A minute passed in silence. He stood in the hall, gripping the letter, staring at the paper. The receptionist looked upon the boy with worry. "Sweetie," she began, placing her hand on his shoulder. He did not respond. He barely seemed to register that she had touched him. "Uh. . . Craig?" she continued. She felt him begin to tremble under her touch. Her eyes widened as she lifted her hand. She was not the type of person who was good with things like this; things being trembling, lovesick teenage boys. She backed away.

"Craig, hun, are you okay?"

Craig Manning hated it when people asked that question, especially when they knew the answer. He was obviously very not okay. He was the very epitome of not okay yet this woman had the gall to ask if he was, as if to rub his lack of okay in his face. The musician glared at the letter as if it had insulted him, which he felt it had. Tricking him into thinking it was her handwriting and that she had been the one who wrote the letter.

"Fine. Perfectly fine. Never been better," he spat, his sarcastic words seeming to destroy all sympathy that she had been building up for the boy. She sighed, muttering to herself about what a horrible idea it was to take a job at a rehab center and stomped off, leaving the poor boy by himself in the empty, empty hall.

He stood there. Not moving. Unable to think thoughts that did not revolve around Ellie, the girl who he should not even think about, the girl who would never write him a letter. And, finally, poor Craig could not hold it in any longer. Tears that had threatened to spill ever since he realized that maybe, just maybe, she had someone else and that she really, truly did not love him anymore, finally made there way down his cheeks as he yanked the door of his room open, and slammed it loudly behind him, leaving the letter on the floor.

Maybe this was God's cruel way of punishing for what he had done.

Maybe he did deserve this.

But, despite how deserving of this punishment Craig might be, he could not help but feel as if was beyond a little brutal.

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She often wondered if it was bad that she could not go a day without thinking about him.

He had been so awful to her in the past. Heartbreak after heartbreak, lie after lie, broken promise after broken promise; she should not think about him. She should not wonder if he was okay or if he was still in rehab. Yet, she did. All the time. She could not tell anyone how much she thought about him. They would shake their heads and mutter about how she should be over him by now and how he had broken her heart and put her through hell time and time again.

And, the worst part about the whole entire thing was that thoughts involving Craig always seemed to pop into her head when she was around him. Her him. The one she was actually in a relationship with. Whenever they kissed, she could not help but think about Craig, wondering if he had met someone in rehab.

She would often wonder if it had been a good idea, letting him go. Leaving him. Was this constant longing to hear his voice, to talk to him, to even look at him some kind of punishment for leaving him? Would everything be better if she hadn't? Thoughts like these refused to leave her head, despite the fact that she kept trying to tell herself that she did not love Craig, she did not have any feelings for him other than hatred for what he had done to her.

She had realized it was so easy to lie to herself. To convince herself that she did not love that troublemaker during those periods of time that he did not constantly plague her thoughts. She had done so well convincing herself that she really loved the one she was with.

"Ash, are you okay?" Jimmy asked her for the hundredth time that day, looking at her with such concern. She looked up from her science textbook which she was supposed to be studying from but all she had read was the first line of the section over and over and over again. Ashley Kerwin forced a smile, like she did so often, before saying, "Of course I am fine.". But, like always, Jimmy did not look convinced.

Despite how easy it was convincing herself that everything was fine, convincing everyone else was not going too well.

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Letter after letter was tossed into the trash can, without even a second glance.

Ellie could tell by the messing scrawl that it was him. He had always had horrible handwriting. She was one of the only people who could read it. But, whenever she threw each letter into the trash can, she could not help but feel the urge to reach right back into that trash can and pull it right back out. And, every single time it became harder and harder to squelch that urge. Part of her, the part of her that had always been in love with Craig Manning no matter how many times he broke her heart, wanted to know what he would say. That part of her would daydream about what each letter would say. In her daydreams, they each professed his undying love for her and how that as soon as he got out of rehab he was going to leave girls like Manny behind and only be with her forever.

Of course, that was never going to happen.

The other, smart part of Ellie always made sure that the lovesick Ellie knew that was never going to happen. She did not want lovesick Ellie to be hurt again. It was practical, smart Ellie that was keeping her lovesick half from ripping open that letter and reading every word over and over and over again. The lovesick half had already forgiven Craig.

Practical Ellie knew better. She knew that if she even so much as sent Craig a letter that simply said, 'Hi', he would take it as a sign that it was okay for him to walk all over her again. All the letters probably were was just a bunch of apologies that were just lies. She told herself that every time a new letter arrived in the mail. Nothing special would be in those letters. Nothing.

Yet, one day, one of Craig's letters made its way into her hand instead of straight into the trash can. And, lovesick Ellie happened to be in control that day and she had been wanting to read one of those letters for a very long time. So, before she could even think of the consequences that would follow, she ripped that envelope open and read every word. And, then she read each word ten times over until she had the whole entire letter memorized while practical, smart Ellie was screaming bloody murder.

Maybe smart, practical Ellie had been wrong about Craig. Or, maybe lovesick Ellie was going to get both Ellies landed in a world of hurt all over again.