So you've been on my mind recently. That's okay, right?. I mean we're just friends, friends are allowed to think about each other. Except it's different with you.
I wake up in the morning and get dressed as quickly as I can, desperate to cheek my Facebook to see if you've left me a message. There normally always is a message. They always make me smile. No matter how much of a bad mood I wake up in, a single message from you can always cheer me up.
Throughout the day my mind always drifts to you. Thinking about how perfect you are. Those beautiful eyes, you're amazing hair. Everything about you amazing. Your looks, your personality, just everything. No matter what I try to think about my thoughts always drift back to you. That perfect smile you give me, that adorable laugh. The days are so long without you.
When I get home the first thing I do is sign into Facebook and wait for you. I know you'll be on in a couple of hours at the earliest. but I sit and wait there, just in case you come on early. I'd give anything to talk to you every moment of the day. I try to tell myself that I only see you as a friend. We're best friend, nothing more. But I cant believe that. From the moment we meet. I felt something towards you. It was a strong feeling, more than friendship. I can now say, I know, it's love. I love you. Of course, I can't tell you this. You would freak out. I'd probably lose you forever. And that, that scares me more than anything else.
It finally comes to the time where you come online, I pretend I haven't been waiting for hours to talk to you. Pretend this isn't a big deal. We're just friends, why would it be. I smile at our conversation. We like all of the same things, the same music, the same TV programmes. Everything. We're perfect for each other, that's why we're best friends.
You're always so kind, cheering me up when im upset. You've saved me in a way no one ever could. Gave my life meaning again. Im actually needed by you. It feels amazing. It's the best feeling in the world.
So it's getting late, we've been talking all night again. I say something funny and you write back a little 'xD' face. I bite my lip and just stare at the screen in front of me. Not believing what I see. 'I love you'. I snap back to reality, remembering it's what you say to me when I say something that makes you laugh. It's not real. You could never love me. I'm the only one who is stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I write it back, smiling sadly. If only you knew I meant it.
I finally say goodbye hours later. I stay up way later than I should have. I'll get about two hours sleep at this rate. But I just couldn't stop talking to you. I wanted to talk forever. But we both know that cant happen. So I shut down the computer and plod upstairs to bed. I don't sleep though, I cant. You're on my mind, even now. I turn onto my side and close my eyes. Then the tears start. I cant stop them. I sob quietly into the covers that are wrapped around me. You'll never be mine and I know that.