So yes. This is the better half of the wingmen-crew. s/8563047/1/Wingmen
This is my own project but it is still pretty fuck'd up i guess. But yeah... enjoy c:
I apologieze for mistakes!
Chapter 1: In which Steve is all eco friendly
Doom is wearing a tight, blue robe creeping tightly over her perfect curves. Her lips are full and her giant, floor length hair is braided with flowers. But her eyes are filled with pure hate. Hate towards that one special raven haired man laying on the ground in front of her. His ivory skin is splashed red with his own royal blood that she has made flow like waterfalls down his entire body. The worst part is that he is still good looking. No matter what she does to break his body it seems that he still will be as pretty as herself and that angers her even more.
"You know it is expected of me to kill you now?" she ask. Loki has been put through a lot of weird forms for torments before and it was first when he was sentenced to death that he didn't laugh his tormentors up in their faces. But of course no one but her volunteered to put his miserable life to an end. All the other gods simply thinks he is so damn charming and no one wants to do the deed. It is almost like putting an old family dog to sleep. Loki opens his eyes. He has this frightened expression on his face. Eyes are all big and tears are starting to develope. He know that she will do it and enjoy it.
"Why do you hate me so much?" Freya smiles.
"Dwarfs," she answers him. Loki nods with a pained expression. It hurts just to move a little.
"And everybody will hate me when i kill you... You know I will not kill you. Not yet."
"You will keep trying to make me uglier than you?"
"Shut up you man whore!" She kicks him in the side as hard as she can't. To her own satisfaction she can feel a rib break. Or so she hopes.
"You know this doesn't even hurt anymore! You are wasting your time! Just kill me already!" Loki is almost yelling this with a pathetic voice. He is almost crying. Freya smiles.
"No... I will set you free."
"What kind of sick joke is that?"
"It is no joke. I need you to do something for me. If you are doing it right I will let you flee. All the others think i am a dumb bimbo anyways so I can just say that you tricked me. They would believe me." Loki looks confused for a second.
"If you are lying i will come back and haunt you for the rest of your life," he whisper with a hoarse voice.
Captain America wakes up in the middle of the night. Some kind of moth is flying around in his room. An uneasy feeling of being watched creeps over him and he sighs. He gets out of the bed to open a window.
"Freedom is out there little buddy," he whispers softly to the bug, and gets back in the bed.
Loki groans in his mind. Because of his current moth form it is impossible to make a sound. What kind of closetfagdisneyprincess is that guy anyway? Freedom is out there little buddy? Seriously? He should probably get the deed done but somehow he is curious. No one can be a complete saint. That is simply impossible. He must have some flaws like hating people of colour or something. Loki decides that he have time enough and can stick around and stalk prince charming for a little while. He is first meeting up with Freya in a week or so anyways.
The Captains alarm goes of at 06.30. He whimpers a little before he kills the annoying sound. Then he does 80000 pushups in a zombie like state before he walks to the shower. He gets under the hot water humming with his eyes closed and looking like a male model or worse. He leaves again with a tiny tiny towel wrapped around the hips. Then he get dressed and makes the bed. There's still some soldier in him, the bug thinks.
No one else is awake when he enters the kitchen. He finds some weird fairtrade grains and starts cooking up a large portion of some kind of disgustingly healthy porridge. Still humming. The bug is expecting that bambi and the birds and rabbits from the forest will enter and humm with him but only other superheroes appears. When the porridge is done they only miss two members of the group but the heroes sit down and start eating. The one is in Asgard and is probably all emo about the death penalty of his adopted brother who he himself brought right in the arms of the giant boobmonster/exsecuter. The other probably has a hangover or something. They are all chatting happily together when the bird guy wrinkles his nose when the food hit his tastebuds.
"Wow that is really disgusting!" Everybody laughs. The captain shrugs.
"You should eat it. It is good for you."
"No i want! You're not my mom!"
"Clint! Be nice to your ma or i will ground the shit out of you. Now shut up and eat your veggies!" More laughter. The Captain rolls his eyes as the man of iron walks in and sit down at the table with a smug grin. He takes a look at what's served.
"That is disgusting."
"If you don't take that back someone is gonna sleep on the couch tonight and it is not me," The Captain answers with an angelic smile. Everybody just dies and Tony hurries to finish his meal without more complaints.
Later The cap leaves the tower. He have something to do so he pick up his...bicycle? Loki doesn't really understand. He is the owner of a hot piece of Harley so why the bike? And so he rolls into town. He stops once to help a kitten who is stucked in a tree and later to help an old Lady cross the road. Loki has to transform into a seagull to keep up with him. The moth body is too slow.
Suddenly Loki smirks (inside his head. A seagull can't smirk.) Just a little further two bratty black boys are painting graffiti in a spawning. This is gonna be fun. As Loki hopes the cap notices and stops up. He take a look at the work of vandalism and smiles. The boys haven't seen him yet.
"This is so beautiful! You must have spend hours on that!" The captain says. He is almost speechless and with christmas candles in his eyes. The boys turn around and smiles at him.
"Thank you very much Steve!" they say with one voice.
"You have to learn me that some time!"
Seagull Loki is about to smash his head against a wall. What has gotten into him? Wanna learn to do graffiti. It is against the law for gods sake? And apparently he's not even racist. Loki is a little disappointed.
At last he parks outside a goodwill thrift store. He walks in. Greet another old lady behind the counter and take of his jacket. And start working. So he is doing some volunteer work. That is to be expected. But why in a thrift store? That is a little atypical for Captain America. Oh well he himself is kind of vintage so why the fuck not?
Loki has to transform himself again. This time to a mouse. He enters the store with two gay looking, hipster guys and hides away under a mountain of sweaters. The two hipster guys are now holding hands. Definitely gays. Loki smirks. Maybe he's not racist but at least a homophobe. Come on! The guy is from the 40's.
"Steve! We were hoping to catch you here!"
"Hey guys! How was the honeymoon?" Loki nearly chokes. He has befriended the gay guys?! And ask them about their honeymoon? What is wrong with the world? And the worst part is that Loki is starting to feel a little sorry for what is going to happen to the guy. He actually seems like an... okay fella.
"I actually got you guys something."
"Ooh honey! You shouldn't!" the gays says in a syncron voice. The cap smiles and throw two matching flannels at them.
"You can't be a real couple without matching outfits, or so I heard. It is Ralph Lauren from the 70's. Very vintage as you like it," he says. The gay guys then gets all emotional and they group hug and stuff, and Loki decides that he better leave before he throws up.
Steve Rogers turned the key to the store and unlocked his bike. He sure did miss his hot piece of harley at home, but the ice was melting at the poles, and it almost brought tears to his eyes, thinking about those poor, drowning polar bears. Bicycles didn't pollute and Captain America wasn't the only one who tried to save the planet. Steve from brooklyn tried to do his share too.
The sun was slowly going down and the beautiful red and purple colors painted the sky over New smiled. Sometimes it was fine waking up in the future. Everything hadn't changed that much after all and some things even got better. His friends Joe and Joe could even get married and that made him happy.
He hadn't always felt like tha tho. At first when woke up he had thought that kind of relationships was a sin. But then again he had changed his mind about a lot of things. After that one incident. Just as that thought slipped his mind he drove by the graffiti he had admired on the way to the store. He couldn't help but turn the bike around and go inside the spawning to get a closer look. It indeed was a nice work of art. He couldn't really read the letters but the boys (Keith and Muhammad) had once told him that it kinda was the point. But the colors were powerful and strong in orange and black. Almost as if it was glowing in the dimmed light.
"I thought you were against vandalism Captain?" a low voice whispered into his ear.
"It's not vandalism it is art," Steve answered with a soft voice. Then the realisation that someone had sneaked up on him and actually was so close that he could feel the cool breath on his neck, suddenly hid him like a brick. Steve froze. That voice was also freakishly familiar.
"Since when have you started caring about that kind of things?"
"Since always. I thought you had returned to Asgard, Loki?" To his big disappointment it was a little bit too clear that his voice was shaking.
"Yeah I was but I have promised a friend of mine to pick something up for her here in Midgard... Say sweet Captain are you scared of me?" The smirk was to be heard in his voice. Steve sighed.
"The Captain does not fear anything. Sadly i am just Steve Rodgers today and I must admit i am feeling a little bit uncomfortable with this situation. Are you here to kill me?"
"No no not at all!" Steve slowly turned his head to meet the gaze of the slightly sociopathic god. And there he was. Just a hands length from him with his staff pointed towards him. And he was smiling. Not an evil maniac smile. It almost looked like there was a little bit of pity mixed in there.
"If you are not going to kill me why are you then pointing your staff at me?" Steve asked.
"Yeah that is the point. The thing is that what i should pick up... I don't know how I should put it, but it is you..." Steve didn't even have the time to yell 'What?' because just as the god finished talking he poked him with the staff and Steve immediately fell into a deep sleep filled with rainbows and kittens.