Authors Note: Disclaimer-- the characters of Naruto!, the anime, manga, anything relating to it is not mine. Except a cool wristband... and I plan to get more stuff when I get the money... Anywho. This is a YonKa fic. New writing style... I like it a lot better. Beta'd it myself, sorry for any mistakes. BimBomushi, who has converted me into a official YonKa fan, this is for you! ... Literally. You requested it. I'd recommend you go check her out; she's got more then just YonKa, and is absolutely amazing!!! Onto the story!
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He had to admit, he'd never quite thought it'd happen this way.
Well, to be even more honest, he'd never thought it'd happen at all; he wasn't the type of person that these sort of things happened to him. Socially awkward (try completely inept with anything having to do with the word "social"), more or less lacking of proper emotions (and the sense of when they're appropriate), he really didn't think this would happen to him. But it did, because, as it liked to point out again and again, Fate laughed at him. Quite obviously, too; couldn't even be bothered to try and hide it.
He supposed it was only fair for having so much good fate already. Well, all right; so perhaps having his parents dead, being completely lost at anything 'normal' people might do, think, or like wasn't completely good fate. But still, he was optimistic; having such talent at such an age had to be good fortu--
"You're doing it again." Damn that voice. And what did he mean, he was doing it again? Doing what?
He didn't even have to reply to get his answer.
"Thinking too hard. Stop it; you'll get wrinkles before you turn 20."
"...So?"
A sigh. "Kakashi, I am going to say to what my teacher once said to me..."
Kakashi allowed his eye to lazily look up at the man, and asked, drawing out the words mockingly, "Dye your hair a darker color?"
"...No."
"Try peeping?"
"...No, --"
"Wear different clothing to get better women?"
"Dangit, no, he--"
"Learn better pickup lines? You obviously have some bad ones, if you can't even grab a girl at the local bro--"
"Kakashi."
He shut up. He knew that tone of voice; warning him he was very close to being hit over the head. Or having his mask yanked down... or his pants, or something. Although he really didn't see the embarrassment in being only in his underwear... which he had started wearing only after the first time it had happened. Luckily, Rin hadn't been around; apparently it would have been a bad thing for her to have seen him like that (Kakashi doubted he would ever completely understand people...).
And really, it hadn't even been his choice to go and buy underwear; his sensei had dragged him to the local store and, face red as could be, started ranting at the sales clerk about how could the man be such an IDIOT; didn't he KNOW that Kakashi had never bought UNDERWEAR, and why didn't he SEE, and he KNEW he was in CHARGE of getting him what he NEEDED, and why didn't he TELL him that he was SUPPOSED to wear UNDERWEAR, and--
Kakashi had cut in at this point, sensing his teacher was simply going to repeat himself again and again at this rate. Saying calmly that he hadn't seen the practicality in wearing more then the needed layers, he had earned several strange looks.
So he'd bought the underwear, and wore it, simply because it would be a waste of money not to. And because he didn't think it was a good idea to have that much blood in your face, as his teacher had been quite a shocking shade of red...
Nobody had quite dared to yank down his pants again. They'd caught him off guard last time (a prank from both his sensei and Obito), and although he didn't mind his sensei doing it, Obito tended to taunt him, and it got irritating after a while...
"--and he finished by telling me not to keep staring at the dancing pink hippo's, because if I did, I'd start seeing everything in shades of pink."
Well, that caught his attention. Giving his sensei a simple, blank stare, the blond sighed , shaking his head and groaning. "Aw man, I knew you weren't paying attention! Kakashi, next time if you're going to ignore me, tell me so I can save my breath at least!" He whined
Kakashi's lips twitched, before he shrugged, and leaned back against the tree, watching his sensei contentedly.
"...You're smiling under there, aren't you."
"Yes."
"...Hmph." Kakashi couldn't help but actually smile when the older man pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
Attention caught beyond the man, he shifted his gaze to the approaching shinobi curiously. When the man caught up, he smiled, greeting them. "Minato, Kakashi. Minato, you're needed down in the village. Some kunoichi are complaining about something or other, and they insist they need you to settle it. Me, I think they just want to look at you." Both the man and his sensei laughed, his sensei shaking his head as he did so.
Hearing him laugh made him want to as well... Stop that. You have no reason to. The joke does not include you. He told himself firmly, instead watching the scene with an indifferent air.
"Inoichi, couldn't you chase them off for me? Kakashi and I are talking!" His sensei asked, throwing in a small pout and watery eyes for effect. Inoichi stared incredulously at Minato, before switching the look to Kakashi. "Kakashi? Actually taking part in a conversation?"
"Not really."
The two men paused, staring at Kakashi, before looking at each other.
"Did he just make a joke?"
"I believe he did. Heeeeeeeeey, my favorite student made a joke finally!"
"We've got to tell everyone!"
"Totally! Come on!"
"Wait, I--"
Too late. He'd been joking earlier with his sensei, hadn't he? He blinked slowly as he watched the two men race off.
Maybe he's just trying to get away from you.
Damn himself. Wait, no, that came out wrong...
------...Later That Night...-------
"You know, if you keep this up, you'll get predictable." Once again, his voice stops my thoughts. Kakashi slowly turned his head, watching as his sensei came to sit beside him, leaning back on his two elbows and he stretched out his legs in front of him. He finally allowed his elbows to drop, fully sprawling out in the cool grass. Kakashi allowed his eye to travel along the man's body, starting at his legs, and trailing up. When he saw his sensei watching him, expression unreadable, he quickly looked away -- more so to hide the faint blush then hide the fact he was admiring the man.
"Keep what up?" He asked instead, tilting his head back to continue looking at the stars. It was something he did often; whenever he wasn't away on a mission. If he was too tired to come to this field, then he simply watched them from his roof. He'd started it after he caught his sensei doing it, once, alone. And it just became habit to hope his teacher might come along and sit down with him to watch the stars, so far away and so bright against the dark night sky...
"Coming here, every night. Or almost." If the man felt how Kakashi tensed at that moment, hearing that, then he chose to ignore it. "I used to do it too, you know. Come here. Watch the stars. Relax. Sometimes I'd even talk out loud to myself. Silly, huh?"
Hearing the silence from Kakashi, he continued. "I figured you wanted what I did-- to be alone, just to let everything go. But since you never seemed to do anything or change or... well, anything, I figured you might be waiting for someone instead."
Kakashi thought over the words, and his answer. "...Maybe."
"Ah... so, you are waiting for someone."
"I didn't say that."
"No, but you answered. Maybe is the universal answer for saying yes when you don't want to let anyone know about it, did you know?"
"...No."
"...Oh. Sorry. Thought you did."
Silence reigned for a few minutes, the blond occasionally shifting his position restlessly. When Kakashi said nothing, he attempted another conversation."
"Are you mad at me? For running off like that earlier. Because really, I wasn't trying to get away from you or anything, but I was right about those two kunoichi, and they wouldn't shut up, and--"
"I wasn't upset." He cut the man off so he wouldn't know how relieved Kakashi was to hear that, to hear--to know, after a day of worrying--that the man hadn't wanted simply get away from him.
"Oh...good."
Kakashi relaxed again, closing his eyes and allowing his sense to stretch. He did it nightly, in hopes the man would be nearby; now, it was just habit. He found it relaxing.
He could hear the crickets; the rustling of the leaves as the light breezes swept through them.
He could smell the coming rain; the smell of his sensei, laying beside him. It... almost overwhelmed him, to know the man was beside him, laying there...
He could feel the man, occasionally, when he accidentally brushed up against him. He could feel how it made those spots warmer; how it made his heart speed up, just a little bit. He could feel the grass underneath him, around him, cradling he and his sensei. He could feel... He felt so much.
"Kakashi?"
He turned his head to look at his sensei questioningly, noting that the man had changed position again. Now, he lay on his side, head propped up on an arm, watching Kakashi. When neither said anything, Kakashi finally asked,
"Hmm?"
Was his sensei... hesitating? He never hesitated... or almost never, at least. Except when he was embarrassed; and then he tended to squawk about like an indignant chicken, and his face turned red, and he did a lot of arm-waving and running about in circles. Kakashi smiled faintly at the picture in his mind of a chicken with his sensei's hair running about in circles, waving it's wings and squawking like mad.
"If I asked you to take your mask off, would you?" The man finally asked, watching the teenager curiously.
Kakashi allowed himself to watch his sensei, until the man shifted once, uncomfortable with the weight of his gaze. Finally, after a long moment, Kakashi turned to look back up at the stars.
"...Maybe."
"Really?"
"...Maybe, sensei. Maybe is not yes."
"Why not?"
"It's a different word."
And with that, Kakashi knew his sensei understood what he implied. He didn't have to actually say yes, to mean it. He didn't have to use a specific word to mean that specific meaning. After all, it was his own sensei who had taught him to watch what people say, lest they trick you with clever wording.
"...If I asked you take your mask off, right now, would you?"
"...Maybe."
"You know, trying to talk to you is really, really annoying."
Kakashi slowly sat up, turning fully until he faced his sensei.
"If I take off my mask, you take off something."
"...Um, can I ask why?"
"Yes."
... "Could you please tell me why you want me to take off something if you take off your mask?" His sensei tried again.
"Fair exchange."
"Oh... But, um, I don't really have much to take off... could I take off my shoes or something?"
"..."
"...Didn't think so. Um, could my vest work?"
"...I suppose."
"Hey! It's fair exchange! You always wear your mask, I always wear my vest!"
"There's a difference. Your vest is a mark of rank."
"...Oh, you little stinker."
Kakashi simply arched an eyebrow, waiting patiently. If his sensei actually wanted to see him with his mask off, then he'd do it, and first. He knew very well Kakashi didn't do things first; it wasn't his way. Except attack. And then, who knew? "Fine." His sensei grumbled, before unzipping his vest and shrugging it off until it lay on the grass behind him. He waited, watching Kakashi.
Kakashi waited, before calmly stating, "You can take it down."
Noting the look of surprise, he inwardly startled laughing. But when he opened his mouth to tell his sensei he was joking, he stopped abruptly. His sensei was already leaning toward him. Closing his mouth, he forced himself not to tense up.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything." His sensei murmured, as if sensing Kakashi's sudden hesitation in being touched. After all, he was a very no-physical-touch kind of person (fighting excluded). "I never said anything." Kakashi retorted, blinking when his sensei smiled slowly, gently. "Yes... but you didn't have to, either." The man pointed out softly.
His sensei slowly lifted his hands, settling his finger tips at the edges of the mask on his cheeks. Kakashi drew in a breath, holding it, as the man simply gazed at him for a moment, as if asking if it really was all right. When Kakashi didn't push him away, he slowly slipped the edges of his nails under the edges of the mask, this his fingers. Kakashi slowly, carefully, released the breath. He was already feeling light-headed; he didn't need it to get worse. He closed his eyes, unable to watch the look on his sensei's face. It wasn't bad or anything... it just... intense looks from his sensei always made him want to duck his head from embarrassment.
Slowly--so, so, slowly--his sensei pulled down the mask, eyes never leaving Kakashi's face. When at last it rested around his neck, his sensei slowly reached back up, gingerly brushing his fingers on Kakashi's cheek. When Kakashi slowly opened his eyes, his sensei met them; never moving.
They stayed there, neither daring to move.
Kakashi's eye widened--just slightly--when he saw his sensei slowly leaning in. But when their lips met, his eyes widened further, and he stiffened in surprise.
Immediately his sensei drew away, a look of shock and panic taking over. When Kakashi did nothing other then stare dumbly at his sensei, he abruptly stood up, trying to stammer out an apology. When Kakashi still did nothing, and he began repeating himself, he managed a goodbye of sorts, and raced off the field.
-----...-----...-----...----
Kakashi didn't really know what to make of the next week. Whenever they accidentally saw each other, his sensei turned red, and turned abruptly, leaving. When that happened in the mission room, Kakashi watched him leave, the others torn between watching him and staring at where his sensei had been. "Kakashi, what's going on?" Inoichi finally asked, giving him a heavy glare. When Kakashi simply lifted his shoulders in a shrug, Inoichi growled. "What happened, Kakashi. What did you do?"
Kakashi finally looked at the man, saying slowly, "Nothing."
"Like hell that's 'nothing'! You two are usually close! What's with the sudden avoidance?!" Inoichi demanded.
"You don't understand. I did nothing. Therein is what happened." Kakashi corrected the man, shaking his head. When Inoichi continued to stare at him, Kakashi shrugged again.
"...I'll never understand you." the man finally grumbled, sitting back down.
Kakashi approached them, quietly requesting a mission. Once given one, he left.
------------...-------------
"He's on... what?" Minato asked dumbly, sure he heard wrong.
"An A-ranked mission, Minato. He requested it. Something must be bothering him; the last time he did that was when..." Asuma trailed off, not willing to say Rin and Obito's names in front of the blond. "He doesn't usually ask to go on missions to kill." Minato nodded silently, frowning to himself. Great... just great...
...----...
Blood; there was always so much blood. It was everywhere; in his hair, on his clothes, weapons; on the ground, making it difficult to get a good footing without using chakra. His opponent had underestimated him, and was paying for it now. Kakashi was prolonging the battle as long as he could; finishing meant going home. Meant facing... him. Mismatched eyes widened, feeling the blade slide through his arm. Angry with himself, at allowing himself to be hit like that, he slit the man's throat, beheading him completely. Blood--more blood; there was always so much blood and it just wouldn't go away...
...--------...-------...
People stared when he stumbled back into the village, dizzy from blood loss. Refusing any help, he made his way to the mission room, determined not to faint or hit anything; to turn it in immediately. He'd gotten the report done on the way here; he'd had to rest often, and had taken the opportunity to write it up. It was messily written, but legible; the pain made his hand jerk often. He'd tried switching to his other hand, but couldn't read his writing well enough to continue.
When he practically fell into the mission room, exactly as he had been on the mission, there were exclamations; the sounds of people beginning to move towards him quickly filled the room. But he pushed past them, not daring to even shake his head.
"Completed." he mumbled, setting down the report. He turned, slowly going towards the door, ignoring the tracks of blood and mud he was creating. The door banged opened, an excited blond entering at a run. "I heard he's back! Is it tr--" he stopped abruptly, seeing Kakashi, eyes widening.
"Kakashi... oh god, I'm so sorry, I--"
"Sensei." His sensei was here... came to see if he was back... his sense... wanted to see him...
His sensei shut his mouth immediately, but his jaws worked with the effort of not continuing.
Kakashi continued. "If you don't stop... doing that... you'll become... predic...table..." Oh god, he sounded weak even to his ears; strained and sick and breathy.
His sensei winced, before slowly beginning to scowl. By the time he was trembling, Kakashi was staring at the floor. "You idiot! Do you have any idea of how worried I was about you?! Shit, you can't just go and start taking any damn mission you want! It shouldn't have cost you this! Goddamn it Kakashi, LOOK AT ME!"
His shaking more noticeable then it had been before the yelling(he only remembered his sensei losing control like this once, and that was when he'd been freaked out so badly because Obito, Rin, and Kakashi had taken a much too foolish move during a mission that had been mis-labeled; and even then his anger was directed more so towards the people who'd said it was a C ranked mission), Kakashi slowly lifted his head, feeling like every moment it got heavier.
He never even got his eyes at his sensei's chest level before he blacked out from blood loss.
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"Why can't I see him? I want to see him!"
"Kakashi... come on, wake up..."
"Kakashi... I'm sorry...
so... sorry..."
------------------
Sensei...
Of course... first thought had to be of him, didn't it? That's all that Kakashi ever thought about any more...
His eyes hurt so much... why were the lights on? He never slept with the lights on...
His nose wrinkled somewhat when it finally sorted the smells. Oh... a hospital... Great. Just where I wanted to wake up... He thought grumpily.
When his eyes finally opened, he stared at the ceiling. Slowly, gingerly, he turned his head, hearing breathing. "Sensei..." He murmured, eyes taking in the pale skin of the man. Normally he wasn't so pale... Probably hasn't been sleeping, that idiot... Well, he was getting in the sleep now.
But as soon as the word left his lips, the blond's eyes flew open, and he hurriedly sat up. "You're awake! Finally! You've been out for a couple of days. It shouldn't have been so difficult as to make you faint by the time you came back, you know. Or your chakra so exhausted. And what's with the wound? Even I have trouble really getting that good of a hit against you."
Not good. His sensei was still upset. At least he wasn't yelling anymore. Kakashi said nothing; he didn't know what to say to calm the man down.
"...Kakashi... I just wanted to let you know... that night.. I didn't mean to kiss you... I'm sorry..."
Kakashi stared at the man, then slowly turned his head to look instead the ceiling. But when his sensei started to get up, Kakashi asked, voice low and hoarse from disuse, "...Do you... regret...it? I mean if... I hadn't... if I'd kissed you back... would you... regret it?"
His sensei stilled, staring down at him. Finally he released a shaky breath and said quietly, "I want to. Because our friendship has been upset, I want to regret it. But... I don't kiss for no reason, Kakashi."
Kakashi said nothing as the man left the room, closing the door softly behind him.
.-.-.-.-.-.--..-Later That Week-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
The stars seemed brighter that night, for some reason. He supposed it could be the lack of clouds. Or maybe because the moon shone extra-brightly too, they felt like they had to compete to be properly noticed.
"You know, if you keep this up, you'll become predictable." This time it was his turn to say it, turning his head to gaze at his sensei. His steps faltered, before he continued until he stood next to him.
Kakashi looked up again at the sky. "You can sit down. I don't hate you. Or fear you. Or anything like that. So stop it."
His sensei sat down before asking, "Stop what?"
"Beating yourself up."
"I don't see any bruises on me." A smile.
"You don't have to see them." Kakashi pointed out. He felt more... talkative. He didn't really know what he felt everything was mixed up.
"Sensei..." he broke the silence after a moment.
"Hmmm?"
"...When you think of..me... What do you think of?"
His sensei appeared to be startled at this, but luckily didn't comment on it. He frowned, thinking that over. "Well... I think you're talented; that's a given. Powerful. Too grown-up for your years. A good friend. Awkward in social things--which I know for a fact. You're... I dunno. You. How am I supposed to think of you?"
"...I don't know..."
"Why do you ask?"
"..."
His sensei stood, thinking Kakashi had clammed up again.
He stopped when he heard Kakashi finally say, "You."
He turned, looking briefly confused. "Me... what?"
Kakashi was standing, watching him. "You asked me, last time. Who I was waiting for. I was waiting for you. But you didn't come back." He'd begun moving deliberately towards his sensei, who stood frozen. "I waited, every night. I came here every night. Because I saw you once, here. You were watching the stars. So I came too... but you never came back. And I kept waiting for you." He continued, even though he was standing in front of his sensei.
"I like you, you know. I don't quite think that... I'm supposed to. But I still do, and it doesn't go away--and I've liked you for so long that I...can't remember a time... when I didn't. When you kissed me... I wasn't upset. I was... surprised. Too surprised to do anything." He was taking down his mask; watching, how his sensei fixed his eyes on whatever skin he revealed. And still he continued.
"Too surprised to do what I wanted." And with these last simple words, he closed the gap between their mouths, pausing a brief moment, lips not even an inch from his sensei's--he could feel, smell, taste their breath mingling; their lips almost completely touching, seeing, just testing, if his sensei would kiss him first.
Then they were kissing, and oh gods, it was better then he remembered. His sensei's arms came around Kakashi's waist, holding him closely, tightly; Kakashi's hands found Minato's shoulders, clasping them tightly, tilting his head faintly for a better angle. Every part of their bodies touching was on fire; he could feel it, tingling, giving him the most peculiar feeling... he'd never felt something like it before...
When he drew back, breathing heavier then it had been, he licked his lips out of habit, still watching the somewhat pink-faced man.
"Kakashi..." Minato smiled; beautifully, gently, lovingly. "If you knew how long I wanted to do that..."
Kakashi was silent, still gazing at the man, watching the way the light fell on them, feeling how perfect it felt to be there in his arms--just being together.
"Kakashi... I like you too." And with that, kissed him again, gently; easing lips over lips.
Yes, Kakashi decided. He never thought it'd happened quite this way.
Falling in love, that is.
Author's Note: Holy cow... I started a cute little one-shot for you, BimBomushi, and I end up writing an epic tale. ; Er... I swear, I don't normally do that...Blinks... Well, okay. So my one-shots never turn out very short, but this is ridiculous. It deserves to be a couple of chapters, not a one-shot!
This is really different then my normal writing style... I'm very emotionally detached myself (Which most people never guess; I like to play that I feel a lot, heh. Confusing people is fun), but normally I excel in writing romance. I mean, really excel in it.
Typically my characters have a lot of emotion, but this being Kakashi, I think I was trying to stress the difference of him to every one else... And you'll notice that he calls him "his sensei" up until they actually kiss... at which case it turns into his name. Well, that's Kakashi for ya.
Gotta say, I like the length. Actually, I want to keep going with this; so I might very well just keep updating it or something... who knows. I had three separate endings in my head. This one, a lemon one, and an angst one.
Sheesh. I can write a sex scene, but I can't write a proper kissing scene... I dunno. Something about kissing makes me freeze up in writing. And drawing, for that matter...