I sat down one evening and came up with this. It's very short, needs lots adding to and hasn't even got a proper title! It's just called 'Sofa'. But I've tried to write it along the same style of the show. All comments welcome but please be gentle, it's the first story I've done. :-)
Disclaimer: similarities to any other story/script is purely coincidental!
Tim has returned from Germany and he and Daisy have just got married.
Post wedding, back at the flat, sofa. Lucy unhappy at still being single.
LUCY: Oh well, that's it, I'm officially on the shelf.
LEE: Don't be so hard on yourself, you got loads of attention tonight. What about the bloke who was sitting next to that dog?
LUCY: That was his guide dog! and he thought I was the waitress!
LEE: Oh... well he seemed pretty keen, and think about it, you wouldn't have to worry about what you looked like first thing in the morning.
Lucy glares at Lee
LUCY: My mum didn't appreciate the dance you started.
LEE: I thought it would add a bit of Caribbean flavour to the occasion.
LUCY: In Croydon?
LEE: Everyone likes a limbo don't they?
LUCY: Not when you use Auntie Flo's false leg!
LEE: Well at least it broke the ice.
LUCY: You didn't just break it, you smashed it with a mallet. You know my Mum will never forgive you. She's only just recovered from Daisy's hen night.
LEE: Did the farmer get all his chickens back in the end?
LUCY: I guess I have to accept the fact that I'll be living here with someone who hires a hearse for his best friends wedding.
LEE: I already told you, I specifically said 'horse' on the phone. Nobody noticed.
LUCY: Oh no, nobody noticed the happy couple sitting next to a coffin then?
And you forgets the rings!
LEE: Lucky I had that packet of hula hoops in me pocket then. (He laughs)
Silence..
LEE: What about if we get married?
LUCY: What?!
LEE: Come on, what's the worse that could happen?
LUCY: Er... I could marry you. That's the worse that could happen!. We've not even been on a date.
LEE: Yes we have.
LUCY: When?
LEE: I took you to the dogs, remember?
LUCY: Spending the evening hunting through rubbish bins to find your lost winning ticket is not what I'd call a date.
LEE: I think that's very inconsiderate of you. I would've bought you dinner with my winnings.
LUCY: It was a fiver, it would only have bought me a Happy Meal.
LEE: Oh no, I wouldn't have been happy about it.
LEE: We're practically married anyway, we live together and don't have sex. And you did tell me once that you'd marry me if you were still single at 40.
LUCY: Oh great! this gets even better. I'm only 32!
LEE: Am I not husband material?
LUCY: You? Husband material?, I'm not sure you're even Man-material! Look Lee it's very sweet all but...