Chapter one
Family Ties
Everyone has at least one moment where they can look back on and say, 'that's where it all began' 'the beginning of the end.' I had thought that moment was two years ago, when they floated my mother.
Little did I know that the person responsible had become apart of my life five years ago, three whole years before they'd betray us, setting the wheels of my personal hell into motion.
The guards blocked my way to where they held my mother imprisoned, at least they blocked the more conventional route, the hallway. The vent where I had wedged myself with in the cold hard steel of the Ark was suffocating, but it was the only way I could see her. My father hadn't allowed me to visit with my mother prior to her execution, and now I see why.
I couldn't hear from my hiding place, the hum of the Ark buzzed too loudly round me, but that didn't cloud my vision. I watched as he stood there facing off with my mother with only the thick steel and glass separating them, My mother stood tall, never shying away from my father's intense stare, she was a good match for him that way. Both of them could be great leaders, both wanted what was best for their people, and both of them were stubborn. Only mother was willing to break the law to do what she thought was right. Where my father hid behind the rules, too afraid to think for himself.
Chancellor Jaha places his hand heavily on my father's shoulder; my heart sinks with it as silent tears start to slide down my cheeks. Just as I think my father is about to step back, to allow Jaha to murder my mother, he doesn't. What I saw next I would never understand.
When my own father pressed the button that would cut off her air supply and cast her off to float in space, three very important things happened at once for me, first I realized that the Ark is unjust that the chancellor did not care about who lived or died just that he be obeyed. Second, I felt what it was to truly hate someone, enough that the third thing was decided for me in that moment, that third thing was a vow I made, my mother's death would not be for nothing, I would continue her work.
The work that got her killed.
That night I slept within the vent, cramped in its confines, as terribly uncomfortable as it had been it was still better than returning home. It was better than facing my father. Slowly I pushed open the grate; it dangled from its hinges as I slid my legs out first then dropped to the ground below. Exhausted I looked up at the open grate, nearly tempted to leave it that way, let them know that I had bared witness to their act of cruelty. Sighing I grabbed a chair from down the hall, dragged it to the wall and climbed back up to close the vent.
Sinking down into the chair I cradled my head in my hands, 'where do I go now?' lifting my head I glared at the air shaft, I wouldn't be having this problem if she hadn't broken the law. I was out of my seat and closing the short distance to the doors that had sealed my mother's fate within seconds; my palms flush against them bowing my head I pounded on the doors. Unable to hit the people I was actually mad at. "Dammit," I breathed out the sob, with one last smack on the doors I lifted my head, my tears betraying me as they clouded my vision.
"Why?" I gasped, knowing no answer would great me, but still desperate to hear her sweet and calm voice, "why were they so important? Why did you have to die for them?" the sob shook my shoulders, of course I already knew the answer.
"Why am I not surprised to find you here?" I hadn't expected to hear his voice, cold and hard with an authoritative tone, turning I lifted my chin despite the tear tracks that marked my cheeks I didn't want to look weak. "Olivia, what are you doing here?"
Bawling my hands into fists at my sides, I made sure to keep my head up when I responded. "I would think that would be obvious, since you denied me the right to say my final goodbyes." My own voice sounded foreign to my ears. I could hear my own coldness seeping in, he did this, he made me turn cold like him.
"You said your goodbye when she was arrested; there was no need for you to be here. There is still no need," Something bubbled up in my chest, twisting and seething as my expression shifted into a glare. "Your mother is gone."
"Yes," I agreed quickly taking a step forward, motivated by the drive to hurt him the way he hurt me, the way he had betrayed her. "You seen to that."
"Mind your tone," father spoke his own tone calm and commanding, he didn't look to see if anyone had overheard, though his warning was clear that he didn't wish for anyone to ease drop. "I'll remind you that your mother broke the law, by stealing medicine and other perishables, she knew the punishment."
There was no sign of regret on his face, 'he keeps saying, your mother, as if to keep himself detached.' "She was your wife too, unless you've forgotten." He stood there, silent, for a moment I thought maybe he was shocked like he'd actually been able to forget.
There was a beat where his bravado fell away, where instead of being just another council member that had voted on my mother's execution, he was my father again. It was too bad that my relief would be short lived, "you have somewhere to be, I suggest you move along."
It was then as I walked passed my father I realized I had lost both my parents, not just my mother.
Classes were over for the day, not that I had gone classes being over simple meant that I was free to roam the halls, today I wasn't expected to be at my internship, more or less because my mother who had also been mentoring me had been floated. I didn't doubt that Abby Griffin would take over my mentoring, if asked, but today I wasn't ready to go back to med Bay, not when that was where they arrested her as I stood helplessly by and watched.
I could still hear them calling her name, how my mother lifted her chin without any trace of fear she turned to face them, I had seen it in her eyes that resembled my own that she had known this was coming, without any trace of surprise she greeted the guards. "Dr. Kane, you're under arrest for theft of medical supplies, you'll be held in solitary confinement until you give up your accomplices or you will be floated."
The moment the cuffs closed around her wrists I felt my world slip out from under me, "mom, mom what's going on?" My voice trembled as I spoke, of course, I already knew what was happening. Someone had ousted my mom; someone she trusted turned her in. The color drained from my face, my legs weak as I took a shaking step towards her.
'This can't be happening'
The guard who was placing my mother under arrest had a shaved head, her eyes tiny slits upon her pale face as she looked sideways at me. Of course she'd recognize me, if not for being my mother's daughter then for being Kane's daughter. "I'll give you one minute."
My mother nodded, grateful to the guard arresting her, she even thanked her before turning to me. My arms instantly went around my mother as she awkwardly positioned her body around mine, like a shield, she whispered so quietly I almost missed it. "Be strong and kind, my little dove."
My nick name, the one only she uses. Not any instructions, nothing remotely helpful to get her out of this situation. Nothing that would save her, her last words were to console me.
It had been days, days filled with me avoiding my father and responsibilities as I hid in my room refusing to leave my confines…until today.
Slowly I move through the empty halls, in desperate need of a friendly face. Stopping at a familiar door I look up before knocking, mother and I had frequently visited this resident for both business and social calls. It was the only business endeavor she allowed me to join her in, otherwise she insisted that it was too risky.
His piercing brown eyes pinned me to my spot, his door barely open signaling his reluctance to let me in, as he stood silently staring down at me. "You shouldn't be here." His statement left no room for argument; still I clung desperately to my need of normalcy.
"Please, I need to see your mom." I sounded weak bagging and I hated myself for it, I spotted the hesitancy and pity on his face as he turned away from me, answering someone inside who had spoken.
"It's Olivia…it's not a good idea. Fine." He relented a moment later taking a step back and allowing me entry into the apartment, it was then I noticed his guard uniform.
"Oh my dear, you look awful." Mom's best friend, Aurora stated before embracing me into a motherly hug. "Come sit, I'll make us some tea." She paused looking over my head, "Bellamy, get your sister will you?" I could hear Bellamy mumble his disapproval under his breath as he moved away from the closed door and I took a seat on the worn brown couch. I didn't care at the moment what Bellamy thought, without my mother this was the closest I'd feel to home.
"Olly," Octavia greeted me looking torn between embracing me like her mother had, or offering her condolences, once Octavia sat beside me on the couch our arms were wrapped around each other, me burying my face in her shoulder as she whispered, "I'm so sorry Olly, I wanted to come to you. Obviously I couldn't, mom said you'd come eventually. I was so worried." Her words came out in a rush, as if she wasn't sure what she should say.
Pulling back I offered her a watery smile, doing my best to assure her everything was okay. "Here," Aurora swooped in placing two hot mugs on the table before us, "drink up, it'll help."
"thank you," I nodded lifting the cup and taking a small sip, the hot liquid burned my lip and tongue, but the strong taste of a bitter heat of alcohol mixed in with the tea had me grimacing, never before tasting alcohol except for the time my mother allowed me a sip of her wine. This was not wine.
Aurora quickly disappeared and then reappeared with her own cup, as I discreetly placed the mug a little ways away from me on the table. "I wish this was just a social call." I began quietly, "I need your help."
Aurora sat back in her chair, her attention on me "of course we'll help," Octavia was the first to chime in, her hands fluttering to land on my own that were in my lap, "we're like family."
"Octavia," Bellamy was quick to interrupt, sending his sister a disapproving look, "we're not in a position to be helping anyone."
"What are you talking about?" Octavia scowled, "Olivia and her mom, Amelia helped us for years. We owe it to her, to help Olly."
It was Aurora who ended their dispute and heated stare, "I don't understand, how is it you think we can help you?"
Bellamy's irritation was palpable as he huffed and paced around the room, "you and my mother were close. You shared secrets," it was a fact, and sharing secrets meant you gave someone the power to have you killed, it meant you trusted them. "I need to know everything you know about my mother's dealings, her schedule if you know it, her customers, and the people she traded with."
Aurora seemed to be beside herself at my request, her gaze soft as she searched me for answers and no doubt found them easily. "I'm afraid Amelia was very discreet in her dealings, there are a few things I have knowledge of that I could share. But first, tell me why?"
"Why?" I repeated the single word, my eyebrows furrowed, "because someone betrayed her, someone gave her up. I want to find out who."
"Then what?" Aurora asked, unconvinced by my declaration.
My hands closed into fists in my lap, Octavia's hands no longer on top of my own, "I get justice, they are responsible for the murder of my mother who only wanted to help people. Who dedicated her life to helping other people."
"Alright, and now without her who will help the ones that depended on her?" Lifting my gaze I met Aurora's stare. I knew what she wanted.
"I'll have to become a part of mom's secret job; I'll have to take her place to get the information I need. I know that," I nodded, "you guys are the only people I can trust. I'll need your help."
Getting the name of the vendor who supplied mom with the food and meal tickets she used to give to people was easy after that, Aurora needed those for Octavia so of course she would know where mom got it. What she didn't know was that Mike Anderson only gave mom that in exchange for insulin which she stole from med Bay.
As it had turned out I needed to get Abby to take me on as her apprentice, that hadn't been hard to achieve either, surprisingly. Once allowed in the med Bay unsupervised, using mom's key card to get access to the medical supplies I needed was easy, replacing them before they were noticed however was tricky. It turned out mothers connections allowed a five minute window to pull some from storage to replace what I took.
"It's for my boy," Anderson explained after a moment of silence, our exchange over, "he has diabetes, everyone knows that most only live a few years because the medicine is so expensive. Your mother approached me with this deal ten years ago, he's thirteen now." His blue eyes shined with sincerity as his fingers grazed over the box that held the insulin, his love for his son present on his features, "we appreciated your mother's efforts, her sacrifice. Grieved her death. She gave our family more than double the years we'd anticipated, if there is anything else you need."
"Actually," and I went on to explain my situation, searching out her contacts, unfortunately Anderson wasn't sure of any names that my mother provided the meal tickets to.
Entering our apartment felt strange, the kind of strange one felt going from an obnoxious loud environment into one of complete silence where all of your senses are focused on the one simple thing that everything else falls away. Forgotten.
Mothers absence was palpable as I stood near the door way, my eyes taking in the view of our living room and kitchen, beyond the kitchen to the left was my parents bedroom, mine was across the way on the far side of the apartment, next to the small bathroom. Our apartment was one of the larger ones, but it never felt this big and empty until my mother's death. Now as I walk through the living room I can hear the echo of my footfalls, like a dull thudding vibrating through the apartment.
Everything about our apartment was my mother, from the baby blue couch she had convinced father we needed to the paintings hanging upon the walls, decorating the small space is pastel colors of abstract art to images of what the earth once looked like in full bloom and at its peak of beauty.
My fingers glided over one painting in particular, one with mountain tops in the distance reaching for the clouds and a great river flowing below it with such power radiating from it as it flowed around the jagged rocks and rained down the waterfall at its edge, and all around the river was life. This was her favorite, our history and she hoped our future.
I wasn't much of an artist, though I could appreciate its beauty, but when I looked at this painting that was all I saw. A pretty painting, something that my mother loved, but it was nothing more than an image of something I would never truly be able to appreciate with my own eyes.
"Olivia," my father called to me, he stood in the doorway to their-his bed room with one of mothers shirts wrung in his hands, he looked like he'd seen better days as his eyes drifted from me to the painting I stood in front of. "I'm going through your mothers personal artifacts," he stated once he tore his gaze from the painting, "deciding what to keep and what to part with."
Biting my lip my gaze dropped back down to the wrinkled shirt, "mother would want it all to be donated." I stated unable to look at him, she'd have done it herself, just given it all away. Unfortunately that wasn't how things worked here.
"We follow protocol; pickup is tomorrow at eighteen hundred." He looked behind him then, looking into his bedroom before silently moving away from the doorframe and pausing by the counter in the kitchen area.
"I've been informed you've been missing class, and yet you've made the time to seek out Abby Griffin in hopes she'd continue to mentor you." His gaze was now on me, the shirt abandoned on the counter like a dirty rag, "if you wish to continue your lessons then I expect you to attend class. Are we clear?"
It had been six days, nearly a week, my eyes narrowed into a glare, a week that I have either spent sleeping in my room or within the walls of the ark, a week where I'd been busting my ass to gain information about moms contacts and to continue her work, where I've shown up to my internship, not because I wanted to, but because I need access to their supplies. School held no importance to me anymore, and neither did he.
"And what if I don't?"
"Then, you'll have to find new courters and a job that will employ an uneducated drop out." He paused, "a janitors job, or line cook might be an option if you're lucky enough." I could feel the air drain from my lungs, it wasn't a bluff, he floated his wife so I highly doubted he had any qualms about making his daughter homeless. "The choice is yours, however if I come home tomorrow to find you haven't attended class you'd best be gone." With that, his shoulders tensed my father left the apartment.
"Float yourself, dad." Clenching and unclenching my hands I glared at the door, daring him to come back and grateful when he didn't.
Going through moms belongings was painful, mostly because father had already thrown them carelessly into boxes around the room, like he was throwing out the trash. Currently I clung to mom's sweater, it was plain in color simple beige, she had worn this sweater nearly every night before bed and around the house. Burying my face in the plush material I could still smell her scent, the sweater would be one item I would never part with.
Folding it carefully I placed the sweater on my lap, aside from mom's sweater I had chosen to keep her journals and scrap book which I carried back into my bedroom and tucked away inside the safety of my drawers.
Tomorrow I'd have to tend school and appease my father for the time being until I could find out the person responsible for turning my mother in, until then I climbed into my single cot clinging to the only thing that would give me comfort.