Sacrifice – The story of Shaiel
A/N: I've always wanted to know more about Rand's mother, it seems such an incredible story to have to leave all you know and love for prophecy and once happiness has been found again, to die knowing that your son will face such an awful future - I assume that being Daughter-Heir of Andor, Tigraine/Shaiel knows of the Prophecies of the Dragon. So here it is, her death always stood out to me the most of hopefully this is just the beginning, the prologue, hopefully I won't loose my motivation. I call this the story of Shaiel because I always think she would want to leave every shread of her past life behind, including her name.
As always, the original characters and story does not belong to me but to Robert Jordan - may he rest in peace.
Shaiel stumbled through the snow, both hands wrapped around the stomach, almost trying to hold her child in until she can find someone, anyone, to help. Another contraction ripples through her, and her knees buckle, hands stopping her fall before her child is harmed. Her blue eyes search the area around her, the White Tower shining in the distance... If she could just make it. Her body undergoes another contraction and she turns onto her back to lie in the snow. She is coming to understand her role in all this, following the urge to leave the camp this morning, to wander away from protection and support, and she laughs as she lies on the slopes on Dragonmount – she recognises her surroundings now – laughs because she knows this is the end, her end and she is weeping instead.
Another contraction shocks her out of her reverie, she has to prepare for her child's birth, her son's birth – she's sure of that now – so she begins tearing at her cadin'sor with her belt knife. "I'm so sorry," she whispers, again and again, apologies she's sure she'll never be able to give, apologies that don't make up for what is about to happen anyway. Shaiel places a strip of cloth around a stick in her mouth, the last thing she wants to do if bite through her tongue.
The birth is hard and painful, although Galad's was longer – how old was her sweet child now? – her son was stubborn, and Shaiel knew she was losing too much blood to last much longer, she just wanted to make sure her son was safe, for his sake, and for the sake of the world. Shaiel gathered all of her strength, from her time as Tigraine, abandoning Galad, her trek across the waste, becoming a Maiden, she gathered it all and forced herself to give one last push. She felt her son slide out and as she lay in the snow, panting, she realised she couldn't hear him. She forced her aching muscles to move, and turned to see her son, he lay in the snow, covered in blood, but breathing ever so slightly. She cut his cord with her knife and wraps pieces of cadin'sor around him, and holds him in her arms, giving what warmth she can. She touches his cheek, his beautiful perfect cheek, and he opens his eyes, as blue as the clearest morning. He opens his mouth and wails, a beautiful sound, strength echoing across the slopes.
Shaiel feels the world around her dimming and knows her time is short. "Hello, my baby, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to leave you, but I know you'll be safe, 'raised by the old blood', so they say. But you'll be strong, I can tell that already." Shaiel sighs, wondering if there would ever be a time when she wouldn't abandon her sons. Snow continues to fall from the sky – she can't believed she actually missed snow in her time away – "Jandiun, shade of my heart, I am sorry. I seem to leave all the important men in my life. But hold to life, shade of my heart, our son will return to you, I know it". The world dims for an instant and Shaiel clutches her son to her chest, never wanting to leave, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, oh, my son, my love for you will be strong ever without me here," she kissed his bloody head, wanting to, just once and his wailing stops as her stares up at her, "I love you, be strong, I wish your life would be easier, but you have a great destiny ahead of you, and I'm sorry". She tries to whisper her love again, for both her sons, but her strength is leaving and her head flops back into the snow, so different from the desert lands she had grown used to, grown to love. Her last thoughts go to Gitara, and the prophecy that sent her to the desert and her eventual death, in her final moments, Shaiel feels some satisfaction in knowing she averted the disaster that would befall the world, the Dragon was reborn, and she hoped the Light would shine through the curse that was her son's destiny. Like a true Maiden, she smiled at death, releasing the breath that would be her last.
The child's wailings began again as his mother's chest stopped moving. And continued until he no longer had the strength to cry for a loss he could not yet comprehend. He turned blue with cold, but he would not die, the Pattern could not allow for that yet. A young soldier, attempting to find solace from the battle, stumbles to find a child, and for many years, the child remains blissfully unaware of the trials and tragedies he will face in his life. He would regret not knowing his birth mother, but never know of her strength, or her love, for the story of Shaiel is only one that she fully knows.