Roy, Edward, and Al were in Roy's car on the way to the pet food store, when Ed looked at Roy and grinned.

"Hey, can I drive on the way back?"

Al's eyes grew as large as dinner plates until Roy started laughing hysterically.

"But…" Edward started.

"No."

"Bu…"

"No. I'm not letting an inexperienced, unlicensed driver out in my car in this traffic."

"Please?" Edward gave him the patented Elric puppy dog eyes. The same ones that were the reason that Roy let Al keep the stray cat he had found.

Roy exhaled slowly. "Later. I'll take you to an empty parking lot. Later."

"Alright. Edward, push in the clutch. That's the pedal on your left," Roy said from the passenger seat.

Edward pursed his lips, and Roy saw him slide down in the driver's seat. "I can't reach."

Edward slid further down in the driver's seat. "Oh! Wait!" Roy heard the tell-tale 'thunk' of toes hitting pedals. "There they are."

Roy sighed. "Edward, take your left hand and feel along the left side of the seat. You'll feel a small knob." He waited until Edward nodded. "Now push it forward." The seat started moving closer to the steering wheel. "Now sit back up."

Edward sat up and wiggled his feet. "I still can't reach."

"That's alright." Roy leaned into the backseat and pulled out a thick phonebook. "That's why I brought this. Scoot forward."

"What?"

"Scoot your ass forward. I'm going to put this behind you."

Edward grumbled, but scooted.

"Can you reach now?"

"Yes," Ed grumbled.

"Good. Push in the clutch. It's the one all the way to the left."

"Okay."

"All the way in?"

"Yep."

"Good. Grab the shifter in your right hand." Roy placed his left hand on top of Edward's right. "This, move your hand with me, is first. Is the clutch still pushed in?"

"Yep."

"Good." He moved the shift knob down. "Second." Back up, over, and up again. "Third." Straight down. "Fourth." Up, all the way over, and up. "Fifth." Down. "Reverse. Never put it in reverse when you're going forward."

"Kay."

"Go through the gears again for me. Oh. One more thing." Roy pushed the shifter up and let it go. "This is neutral. Wiggle it to the left and right. That means you're not in gear."

"Alright. Can I start the car now?"

Roy sighed.

"Please?"

He softly said, "Yes. Push the clutch and the brake all the way in and make sure the car is in neutral."

"Kay."

"Now turn the key."

Edward turned the car on.

"Alright. Release the parking brake. Good. Put the gear shift into first. Slowly let out the clutch while you gently press the gas. That's the one on the right. The middle is the brake."

"Alright." Edward slowly let go of the clutch and pressed the gas. The car shuddered and cut off. He looked at Roy wide-eyed. "Please tell me I didn't break your car."

"Nope. Just stalled out. Try again," Roy said patiently. "Give it just a little more gas this time."

Edward turned the car back on and over-revved the engine, but it caught the clutch. "Back off the gas. Okay, you're rolling. Hear the engine?" Ed nodded. "Push the clutch back in and put it in second gear."

Roy snuck a glance at Edward, and saw the blonde with his tongue stuck between his teeth and a look of utter concentration on his face. "Edward."

"Hmm?"

"Turn."

"What?"

"TURN! You're going to hit the lamppost!"

"OH SHIT!" Edward jerked the wheel to the left, barely missing the light pole.

"Alright. I think that's enough for tonight. Press the brake firmly, and when the car has come to a complete stop, put it in neutral and apply the parking brake."

"Huh?"

"Stop the car."

"I'm done?"

"For tonight."

"Why?" Edward started to pout.

Roy leaned over and kissed him, once he was sure the parking brake was set. "You did fine. But if you drive any more tonight, I'll have alcohol poisoning by midnight."

"That bad?"

"Honestly, no. You just scared the shit out of me. Now let's get home. We'll get ice cream on the way."

"Trying to placate me, Mustang?"

"Nope. Soothing my impending ulcer. Now scoot," Roy said as he got out of the car.

"Jerk."