"I hate this, you know...

And I hate everyone for this.

I hate introducing new things to everyone.

I hate letting new inventions or knowledge come to light.

Most of all, I hate being left back alone...

It hurts especially when I know I'm at fault anyway...

...for being so slow

and insecure

and hopeless.

But do you want to know what hurts more?

Do you know why I get angrier and angrier every time I see how progressive you've become?

I have tried to tell you, jokingly even, how annoying it is.

But I hate having to do even just that.

Because when I do that, you rub it into my face.

That's what hurts more.

That is why I hate sharing with you.

That is why I'm so greedy.

But I also hate not sharing. It makes me feel so fucking alone.

And I hate the feeling of being alone.

So I share my knowledge to you so I'd have someone to relate to, to talk about these things with.

But I make sure that I'm far ahead before you are.

And still, you surpass me.

I hate the feeling of being surpassed.

One day, I'm right there, enjoying being the one to guide you. And the next, I'm suddenly left behind.

I hate it when you show me how you've done this and that or how you've made something new that was based on this and that or how successful you are now.

I hate it when you show me your newest feats while unconsciously rubbing into my face how I'm only good at the start or how I'm too slow to keep up with you.

That's why I sometimes feel glad for your downfall, for your lack of progress and for you mistakes.

And I hate myself for that.

I hate myself for being so insecure.

And I hate...

Actually, I think I'm starting to hate the whole world already.

I hate everything in it. I hate you. I hate myself.

I especially hate loneliness.

Whatever I do, whichever I choose, I will be alone.

So what should I do to end this loneliness?

Ah, yes...

What other choice but to die?

Yes, death seems enticing.

Yes...

Death...

I'm sorry, I guess.

I'm sorry for being so selfish and insecure and greedy and spiteful.

America... no, Alfred, forgive me for being like this.

I apologize for having been so easily-irritated lately.

But I guess this is it.

I just can't take it anymore.

I can't take the pressure my superiors are giving me.

I can't surpass, let alone touch the tip of the expectations everyone is expecting of me.

I can't even keep my cool anymore if you're around me.

So I've decided that I have to go.

I'm sorry it has to be so sudden like this.

Goodbye, Alfred."

.

.

.

.

.

"I love you."

A/N: Okay, people! This is just a little something that I've made up in a really short amount of time.

I was feeling that way for a while, except for the suicide part. And it was so goddamn strong that I just had to sit down and write it down to cool my head.

I apologize that it doesn't sound British-ey enough.

And yeah, you may interpret the last line as you like.

Oh, I'm already working on Love is Not Forever. I'm sorry if it's been ages since I've posted anything up in relation to that. But really, don't worry about it now. I'm pretty sure I can put up the next possible chapter in… one to two weeks?

Read and review please~

And I promise to reply to all your reviews now, by the way.