Entry: 01 - Ichigo

First off, lemme start this thing with this: Ms Arisawa is a real hard-ass! I know that she has to watch these things, but yeesh!? She's made me redo this video journal entry twice now, making this the third attempt.

Something about, "not putting in enough effort." I think that is code for, "open up more about your feelings." Yes, I just used air quotes, get over it. She wanted "raw," well this is going to be as "raw" as she can handle.

My daily life right now consists of waking up at precisely seven in the morning. The method they use to wake me/us up around here? They walk right into our empty, little rooms and throw open the curtains. Given the time of year right now, that means a face full of sunlight. Every, single, day! Without fail. Weekends don't matter. Like clockwork.

After that, we have fifteen minutes to get cleaned up for the day then it's off to breakfast. That part isn't really bad. The food is fresh, but bland. Typical hospital food fare. Breakfast lasts for forty-five minutes to allow for "proper digestion." Apparently our resident nutritionist, Dr. Ishida, is really big on taking things to a literal extreme.

After breakfast at eight, we get an hour to "bask" in the sunlight of the courtyard. Now, when I say "bask," what I mean is huddle in a group trying to all fit in the little square of sunlight afforded by the break between the buildings. Honestly, the courtyard is fine, but it's laid out in such a way as to prevent runners. There are no hidden corners, the few trees are too far from the walls to jump over and all the windows are too high from the ground to keep people from climbing. At least there are several benches and plenty of room for us to spread out.

I usually keep to myself for this period. They keep us slightly segregated so my company for "basking time" consists of a few other guys and none of them are big on talking. Suits me just fine. So, after lounging about getting some fresh air, we have to head back in and start the therapy groups.

I'm in a few groups, anger management, which consists of simple arts and crafts to keep frustration down. Social integration, for those of us that "don't play well with others." That one is all about small group projects that force you to work together as a team. It's mostly harmless, but those of us in anger management have to be kept separate from each other for that one.

After those two and another break we get lunch. Lunch plays out exactly like breakfast, the only real difference is that they serve different foods on different days to provide a break from the monotony. Lunch is from noon to one, a little longer than breakfast because there is no outside time afterwards. We head right back into groups. These are the heavier ones, wouldn't want to spoil our days by having those deep share sessions too early, now would we?

They give us two hours for "coping." This group is pretty much just a big hug and cry session as we go around talking about how we feel and what we do to work out those feelings. I really don't like this one. I'm a private person so, this one is a pain. Anyway, after our half hour cool-down out in the courtyard, it's time for another big one.

I've long since given up trying to call it anything other than "happy time." We usually sit in a circle talking about all the things that make us happy. That's it, just a group of people talking about things we either enjoy or wish we had. Another depressing waste of time if you ask me. We get an hour and a half for that one.

At five every evening is dinner. Treat it like another lunch. They change up the meals and make sure whatever we ate throughout the day is balanced out with other foods. If we had something heavy or greasy for lunch, then we have more vegetables with dinner, or maybe the dinner focus is on salads. That kind of thing. Dinner lasts for an hour and then we head off to our final group of the day.

In my case, that's my PTSD group. The only one I really get to enjoy. There are quite a few new faces added to my day thanks to that one. My two favorites are Chad, a giant foreigner who loves being quiet and Orihime, a soft-spoken young woman with a smile that is just short of blinding.

Chad was raised by his grandfather who did everything he could to break the aggressive nature the young man exhibited. It's thanks to that influence that Chad isn't in my anger management group. Anyway, Chad's grandfather died a few years ago and he's never been able to really get his life under control. He was picked on and abused heavily thanks to his pacifist approach, almost to the point of a complete mental breakdown. He and I connected on day one. With him being so quiet and me being so private, we fit together perfectly.

Orihime was raised by her brother after he ran away from their abusive parents. He ran out carrying his little sister and some money he managed to steal from his passed-out drunk father. He was only eighteen, but he managed to take care of them both for nine years, all by himself. When Orihime was twelve she and her brother got into a fight over some hairpins he had given her. Apparently she was being picked on quite badly at school for her bright auburn hair and she thought those hairpins would only make it worse, they were little hibiscus flowers after all. He got into a car accident right down the road from home, shortly after school let out. Orihime found him and pulled him from the car. She drug him several blocks to the local hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival. She never got to apologize for their fight because he was unconscious the entire time.

I spend most of my time in this group sitting next to Chad while watching the wonder that is Orihime. How can she smile like that? I can remember the first few years after my mother died, anything other than a scowl or outright glare never crossed my face. At least now I can manage a neutral expression more often than not. Orihime? She can actually smile, and not a forced one either. After all the fakes smiles all day, hers is like a breath of fresh air. How she keeps jumping from one topic to another while maintaining that smile is nothing short of an amazing mystery. I could easily watch her go on and on about anything and nothing at all. Which is usually what happens. Chad and I sit there quietly with Orihime providing entertainment. Our own little world.

Every now and then her eyes meet mine and I can feel that damn blush raging onto my face. It really doesn't help that one explodes onto hers as well. It's only a moment that our eyes are connected, but it feels like an eternity before we both look away. I've never been one for female interactions, so this is uncharted territory for me. Everything I've ever read and every show I've ever seen has me convinced that I have a major crush on her and I barely know her.

Sure we have suffered through incredible pain in our lives. Is it the longing of being with someone who could understand me? Not just sympathize, but truly know the pain and share her own back with me? Sharing it and looking to lean on me for protection as her own support protects me from the darker memories lurking within myself. Somehow, even with the loss of her brother, she maintained her innocence. Is that what attracts me?

Is my desire to protect her just me projecting back the loss of my own innocence and feeling the urge to do everything I can to see to it that she retains hers? Each evening I find myself keeping my eyes on her longer and longer…

Damn you Tatsuki! You set me up on this one! I got caught up being "raw" and now I've given you some real ammunition to use against me. You better keep this to yourself.

[Ichigo reaches up and turns off the camera.]

[Scene Shift]

I'm not exactly big on him cursing me like that, but using my first name and actually opening up was huge. I knew getting those two together would lead to good things. They both fell so hard and fast it's like high-school all over again. When the time comes for one or both of them to be discharged, things will really get interesting. Tatsuki makes a few notes on Ichigo's chart sporting a very knowing smirk. At least his drug therapy seems to be finished. I wasn't told everything about what happened to him prior to coming here, but he's finally making some progress.

AN: For anyone that may be interested, no, I have no intention of writing an Orihime POV entry. I don't feel like I could truly do her justice. Ichigo is hard enough. Also, this is intended to be a short companion story, not an actual sequel. I need some time to brainstorm a possible second entry. Right now my main focus is on another short story, a parody. Just something that got stuck in my head and i feel like I need to get out.

As always, thanks for reading!