A/N: I saw a funny drawing on DeviantArt entitled "You're doing what now?" by rAndoMCitIzen12, and it inspired me to write a story involving Mephiles winding up Shadow in some way. This story is stupid, so beware.

The capability of running faster than the speed of sound could occasionally turn problematic, especially when the runner was forced to suddenly halt within five feet. That was usually when cause and effect took over.

Today happened to be one of those occasions.

It began simply enough – a challenge from that annoying, cobalt hedgehog, to race through the city via the motorway, dodging traffic; just another vie for power, to determine which of the two was faster.

The Ultimate Lifeform felt minor drag on his form, thanks to keeping directly on the tail of his rival. The blue blur called insults all the while – the most common involving "faker", which was always guaranteed to antagonise. However, the elder hedgehog lacked his usual vehemence, having noticed Sonic's route about to be hampered by a sixteen-wheeled lorry.

I can dart 'round him, take the lead, and win! Shadow's psyche screamed at him. The gratifying thought sent a new shot of adrenaline coursing through his body. I'm going to teach him to call me 'Faker'!

Then a blur of purple appeared in his path, out of nowhere, and the Ultimate Lifeform dug his heel in, fighting to stop. He slammed into the figure, which felt too hard to be organic, and landed roughly onto his behind. Narrowed crimson optics fell upon the obstruction.

What the Hell is-? It was just…it wasn't…well, the only word that came to mind was abnormal. The black blur had witnessed many a strange thing in his fifty years – aliens, space/time travellers, Amy Rose – but this was different.

The entity appeared alive, in some sense of the word, completely covered in a dark violet and silvery-blue crystalline substance. It possessed long arms and hands, and pallid green irises with dark pink sclera. It could have easily been confused for a hedgehog, if not for the lack of nose or mouth.

Shadow jumped to his feet and wiped himself down. "What do you think you're doing? I'm losing the race because of your foolish stunt!"

The curious being looked utterly nonplussed, only serving to further anger the fifty year old.

"Let me pass, creature! I have to show that stupid blue hedgehog!"

Lifting a hand to its chin and thoughtfully stroking it for a moment, the stranger pondered the meaning of such words. The Ultimate Lifeform silently fumed, struggling to keep from impatiently tapping his foot. This is an utter waste of time!

It finally dropped his hand and looked the hedgehog squarely in the eyes. "Show the stupid blue hedgehog what?"

"Huh? Show…I…I have to win our race! I have to show him I'm better!"

"Ohhh, I see."

"Well?"

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?"

"No…means no."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Shadow threw his arms up in the air in exasperation, already finished with such a ludicrous conversation, and revved up to pass the crystal creature.

The latter calmly raised its hand. "Password?"

"What?"

"Password. What's the password?"

"I refuse to play your stupid games right now."

"Paaaassword…"

It seemed there was no choice but to play the foolish game. "Fine," the ebony mammal grumbled. "How many guesses do I get?"

"As many as you need," the stranger beamed.

"Alright. How about 'purple'?"

"No."

"Crystal?"

"No."

"Annoying thing?" Shadow snapped.

"Well, if you're going to be like that…" the peculiar being said sourly.

The Ultimate Lifeform's countenance lifted, his tenor suddenly hopeful. "Does that mean you'll go away and let me pass?"

The stranger didn't like that question at all. "No."

Damn. Couldn't possibly be that easy.

"Now-" It raised a sharp finger to amplify the point. "-try not being so childish and play the game properly, or you're never getting through."

The hedgehog swore under his breath, but gave a reluctant nod of agreement, then raised ruddy eyes to the heavens – partly to allow his mind to think clearly, but mostly because he hoped something up there would put an end to his misery, one way or another.

The dead of night had arrived and only the occasional car passed by the pair. Sonic was surely gone and gloating with his friends at some form of faker-bashing party, leaving the Ultimate Lifeform to deal with the childish, crystal being and its pathetic game. The password obviously had to be something, but hours of guessing had run Shadow's brain dry.

"Look, it doesn't even matter anymore!" he yelled. "Just tell me the answer!"

"Alright, one more guess," the creature said. "Then I promise you can leave, regardless of being right or wrong."

"Fine, fine…" The fifty year old gave in. Couldn't hurt anymore, right? "Is it 'swordfish'?"

At its reaction of complete silence, Shadow saw his answer as correct, and gave a triumphant whoop. "I'm right, aren't I?" There was no denying the gloating tone of his voice.

"Actually…no. You're wrong again."

"OH, COME ON!"

"But we did have an agreement, so I will tell you."

"Finally! So, what was it?"

The stranger paused, wondering if its next words would be wise. Then, with the black blur's abruptly livid expression, it shrugged. I did promise, after all.

"The correct answer was 'Faker'."

The contest ended with unnecessarily long strangling and punching, but the point remained that Shadow lost two games that day.

The End