A/N: Okay, to give this story some overview this is basically a retelling of Julius Caesar except it takes place in a modern day setting, and isn't really a serious story, but a crack/parody one and a comedy in the modern sense. It basically stars Red as Julius Caesar, and the rest of the Pokedex holders as the senators. I think you can probably figure out who's supposed to be who if you've read the original play, but otherwise you don't really need to in order to get the story.

And yes, people will be out of character. Green is the boy and Blue is a girl.

It was a pretty nice, sunny day, with celebrations to be made all over town. Red had just come back after defeating Team Rocket once and for all, and though most people were happy at this thought, there were some who were rather grumpy.

Take Gold for that matter. He was in a bad mood all day long, and when Silver joined him and they spotted a huge pack of people moving about, they decided to stop them.

"Guys, what are you doing out here?" Gold asked them. "Don't you know that the latest Game of Thrones episode is out right now? Why aren't you at home?"

One of them answered, "It's all because Red's finally returned from defeating Team Rocket! This is even bigger than Selena Gomez visiting."

Gold gritted his teeth. "Okay, first of all, what do you do for a living?"

The guy started looking around shadily. "Uhh… none of your beeswax bro?"

Gold frowned. "Okay, either you tell me, or I release my Pokemon right now and…"

Silver interrupted him and whispered in his ear. "Shhh… he's a high school chemistry teacher who was diagnosed with cancer and has been selling Oreos illegally to pay for his hospital bills. Don't worry, he's with us."

"Okay then," Gold said. You see, Oreos had been banned for several years as they had been found to be scientifically more addicting than heroin and cocaine, but there were of course still underground operations going around selling them illegally, out of which Gold and Silver both got a cut to finance their political campaigns. "But then tell me, why are you going to celebrate Red's return? Do you not remember that it was Team Rocket who started the underground Oreos trade? Do you not remember when Grovanni was famous and you all went with your Iphones and requested to take selfies with him?"

"That was before we realized he was a criminal," one of them said.

"Shut up!" Gold shouted. "All of you get lost before I-"

The crowd decided to disperse before Gold could release his Pokemon on them.

Meanwhile, Gold was there in the town square while there was a crowd of reporters and cameramen around him. Yellow was also there, and she was talking to Red.

"So, I think I speak for all of us when I say that you're really great," Yellow said. She pulled out one of those crowns you can get at Burger King. "Please, accept this."

"I can't," Red said. "Look, I know that it'll look really #swag on me and all, but the thing is I also need to be #humble and stuff. You know, #Itwasforthepublicgood."

Yellow offered him the crown again, and he refused. She did it again.

"Come on now Red, a nice girl is offering you a crown, you should probably take it," Yellow said.

"Wait," one of the reporters said. "You're a girl?"

Yellow sighed. 'Not this again,' she thought. She took off her hat. "Does that clear anything up?"

"Not really," the guy said. "You just sort of look like one of those boys that identify as girls like Ruby, you know, with your..."

Yellow realized what the guy was saying. "You per-"

"Whoa guys," Red said. "Yellow is a girl, definitely, believe me, I was confused for a while too. And Ruby doesn't identify as a girl, he just likes some stuff, alright?"

The reporters looked unconvinced.

"Well," Red said. "There is a way that you could convince them you're a girl, Yellow, but it would involve a slight breach of privacy."

Yellow whirled around, face burning like a thousand suns, and said, "Red, you perv-"

"No, no, no," Red said hastily as his face turned redder than a Rapidash's flames as he realized what he said must have sounded like. "I didn't mean that, rather that you could take a strand of your hair and send it to a forensics laboratory, where they could release your karyotype and show that you have two X chromosomes. I mean breach of privacy as those new laws have been passed, you know, #DNAprivacy."

"Whatever," Yellow said and stormed away.

Red realized that things were getting awkward, so he said. "I'd just like to thank someone out there, my best bud Green, who I wouldn't be here without, you know, #Bestfriendsforever."

Gold had invited the Pokedex holders (minus Green, Red, Yellow, and Emerald) to his sweet crib where they could all discuss taking down Red in the safety of his home and comfort of a jacuzzi. Also, there was a stash of Oreos that Gold always kept, and that was, of course, opened.

"So, to make a long story short," Gold said, "we need to kill Red." He noticed that the Oreos were gone, so he told Silver to go get more. Silver slapped him with a banana peel and told him that he wasn't his servant.

"Um, are we seriously discussing murdering our friend over Oreos and chocolate milk?" Platina asked.

"To be honest," Diamond said, "I'm only here for the Oreos anyway." He had already polished off seven packets, and Gold was beginning to remember why the stuff was banned.

"Okay, but I don't see why we need to kill him," Blue said. "I mean, we do live in a democracy after all, and all of us were elected, why don't we go impeach him? It would be all House of Cards and stuff."

"That won't work!" Gold said. "He's too popular, if we impeach him in the end we won't be getting re-elected. Not to mention I do not want to be Frank Underwood. I mean, what sort of a name is that? It sounds like he's related to Weevil Underwood from Yu-Gi-Oh!"

"I also don't really see why you hate him so much," Ruby said. Gold sighed, he had spent the last half hour explaining this stuff, but it occurred to him that Ruby had been playing Candy Crush Saga instead of paying attention.

"So first of all, the guy's too popular," Gold said. "He's full of himself. Did you see how he was offered that Burger King crown?"

"Dude, chillax," Black said. "It was a Burger King crown. I mean, we live in a democracy, remember. And he refused it."

"Yeah, but just to look humble," Gold said. "I saw the broadcast and you could see how he just so wanted to take it in his eyes. Plus, the guy took down Team Rocket, and with it Giovanni, Silver's father. So he's already hurt one of us. Not to mention everyone keeps talking about how he's so great and all, but they forget that I beat him in a Pokemon battle once."

The others rolled their eyes and said, "Yeah... sure you did." together sarcastically. Truth is, Gold had defeated Red at Mt. Silver, but no one believe him and they were all like 'pics or it didn't happen' which made Gold really mad that he didn't charge his phone before the battle. And he had won fair and square too! (Okay, he had been planning to slip sleeping pills into Red's Pokemon's drinks, but that never worked out, so that still meant he won fair and square.)

"Okay, so we need to kill him," Gold said as if this was final. "But, we need to rope in Green in on the whole thing, 'cuz if you do it ourselves people will think that we're selfish, but not if Green does it."

"I don't get it," Sapphire said. "If we have to do it, why not do it in private?"

"We won't be able to do it very deceptively," Gold said.

"And you supposedly beat him in a Pokemon battle?" Platina asked.

"Yes!" Gold said. "I did beat him- oh forget it, point is we need to do it, and we need Green, since everyone knows that he's best buds with Red so no one will think we did something wrong if Green is involved with us."

"Best buds?" Blue asked. "I was sure those two were gay for each other."

"No they're not," Gold said. "I mean, Green is gay, but not for Red."

Silver raised an eyebrow. "How do you know that?"

Gold turned red (oh, the irony) and said, "My private business is my private business. Now, any questions?"

"I still don't get how having Green with us will help," Ruby said.

"Look," Gold said, trying to explain things so that even Ruby could understand, "you know how Taylor Swift managed to top the iTunes lists with white noise? Well, Green here is Taylor Swift."

"I don't think Green would like being compared to Taylor Swift," Pearl said. "I mean, he is a Taylor hater, or as I like to call them, a Tater."

Gold grabbed the nearest thing next to him and chucked it at Pearl. "No more interruptions," Gold said with a crazy look in his eye. "So, Green is Taylor Swift, and the stupid explanation that he'll give to everyone on why we killed Red will be the white noise, and pretty much everyone in this country is a Swiftie, so then everyone will like us too."

"I totally get it," Ruby said. "But how will we get him to join us? He's Red best bud."

Green grinned. "Leave all of that to me. So, are all of you in?"

There was a chorus of 'Not really's and 'Kind of's and a single 'I was just here for the Oreos.' Gold took this all to be a yes.

"So, now we all need to agree not to tell anyone, using the most sacred of oaths: the pinky swear," Gold said. And so, all of them gathered around him to do a pinky swear, which is really difficult when there are so many people, but they managed somehow. "Also, we don't involve Yellow, she's too into Red. Emerald can't be with us either as he can't stab Red in the back, I mean, look at him, with his height the best he'd be able to manage would be Red's knee joint."

And so, all of them filed out and Green rubbed his hands as he planned his next move.

A/N: And so ends chapter one of this fanfic. I'd like to know how you liked it and am willing to answer any questions regarding the chapter. I should note here that I don't really have much ideas about the Pokedex holders after Black & White, so they'll probably either be not mentioned at all or mentioned just by name. I won't be able to update this as much as I'd like to as I can generally do only about one chapter for a single story I'm working on a week, but I should be able to update it often enough.

Thanks for reading, and I do always appreciate reviews!