You say gold, we say budder
You crush on Stars, we crush on Youtubers
You say fist bump, we say brofist
You say Diamond ax? We say Betty
You say Pig? we say Jeffery
You say bat? we say Dillon
You learn Swedish from class? We learn from Pewds
You learn Italian from translators? We learn from Marzia
You say lava? We say Red Water
You say chainmail? we say lingerie
You say rotten flesh? we say wet noodle
You have Robin Thicke and Skrillex? I have MinecraftUniverse and CaptainSparklez
You say cartoons? We say Anime
You say getting angry? We say getting trolled
You say Hunger Games? We say HUNGER DEENZ.
You say fight me? We say Pax me bro
You say Laughing? We say Lolcats
You like Justin Bieber? I Like Skydoesminecraft
You like potato? I like Brotato
You like 1D? I like TeamCrafted
You say magician I say SetoSorcerer
You say rage quit? I say SimonHDS90 broke his keyboard again.
You want a frilly tank top? We want BajanCanadian t-shirts!
You think spoons are disrespectful? Not as disrespectful as SQUIDS!
You say "No Bajan lost"? You mean DAMN IT BAJAN! YOU HAD A DIAMOND FREAKING SWORD!
You like The Wanted? We like the YogsCast!
You learn from Hogwarts? We learn from Seto!
You say awesome? We say Gucci!
You say Video Games? We say Life
Normal girls watch tv, we watch youtubers
Normal girls go to concerts, we go to minecon
Normal girls want to marry Princes, we want to marry youtubers
Normal girls play dress up, we play minecraft
Normal girls eat ice-cream when depressed, we watch team crafted
Normal girls freak out over a broken nail, we freak out over a broken computer
Normal girls wear bows, we wear beanies
Normal girls say weird, we say cool
Normal girls say go to hell, we say go to the end
Normal girls say twitter, we say server
Normal girls think gaming is weird, we think it's awesome
Normal girls say the devil, we say herobrine
Normal girls fangirl over boy bands, we fangirl over youtubers
Team Crafted Pledge:
I pledge allegiance
to the Bacca of the
Hunger Games of the
Universe,
and to the Benja,
for which Betty stands,
one Budder,
Under Ssundee,
#TysLeftFoot,
with Boob plates
and Mudkipz for all.
Benja & Bacca Pledge:
In Benja we trust
For Bacca we must
Our axes won't rust
Turn wobbie to dust
All Betty's will kill
Through ASFs will
The others will wish
That they eat raw fish
We hope Benja will not lose frames
And wins another Hunger Games
Even Weirder Pledges:
In Benja we trust,
In Bacca we must.
It's Sky that we lust,
and Deadlox just cussed.
In SSundee we derp,
And Jason, don't rust.
With Husky we merp,
In Team Crafted we thrust.
In Skyja we trust
In Skyrome we must
Our Sunkipz won't rust
Turn Mashley to dust
Our Skylox will kill
Through XrmBajan's will
We hope Merome will never change
And wins another shipping games
(I do Not Ship... I don't care if you do, you opinion, But I don't)
TAKE A PLEDGE: In Benja we trust. For Bacca we must. Our swords will not bust, our axes won't rust. And we will bust, all thou who don't trust.
You say "Awesome" we say "Mathmatical!"
You say "C'mon lets go" we say "ADVENTURE TIME!"
You say "Hell" we say "Nightosphere"
You say "Unicorn" we say "Lady Rainicorn"
You say "Video game" we say "BMO"
You say "Vampre" we say "Marceline"
You say "Knights" we say "Gumball guardians"
You say "Promise" we say "Royal promise"
Creepypasta!Normal girls puke at the sight of blood, we thrive on it
Normal girls say 'Can i have your lipgloss', we say 'Can i have your kidney'
Normal girls wear crop tops, we wear hoodies
Normal girls listen to Justin Bieber, we listen to iNSaNiTY
Normal girls say 'You inspire my inner pop star', we say 'You inspire my inner serial killer'
Normal girls want pink hair, we want singed black hair
Normal girls play 'Just Dance', we play 'Majora's Mask'
Normal girls put on lipstick for a beautiful smile, we carve one
Normal girls wear makeup, we wear masks
Normal girls think Smile dog is scary, we think he is cute
Normal girls say 'Repost this', we say 'Spread the word'
In honor of Ben, name all your gaming files as his name.
In honor of Jeff, always smile not matter what happens.
In honor of Slenderman, remember that everything is not what it seems.
In honor of Masky and Hoodie, be nice to the shy kids.
In honor of LJ, take nothing serious and laugh a lot.
In honor of EJ, be yourself, no matter how strange you are.
In honor of Dark Link, embrace your dark side.
In honor of Jane, fight for whats right.
In honor of Sally, remember that you never grow up and you always have a child inside
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
Today, writers are scorned because of those too unversed to know.
Disdained, because of the those too ignorant to believe.
Despised,because of the realists who are too afraid to dream.
Misunderstood,because others aretoo unsureto try.
But we, as writers, know them to be wrong.
A writer is a person whodreams.
A writer is a person whowishes.
A writer is a person whoescapes.
A writer is a person wholives.
A writer is a person whois not afraid.
A writer is a person whostrives.
A person whoexpresses.
A person whobelieves.
A person whounderstands.
A person who knows.
I am a writer.
Idreamof a world whereanything is possible.
Iwishfor a world wherewar is just a myth.
Iescapeinto a world where I canpredict the future.
Ilivein a world of joy and mystery.
Iamnot afraidof the world I create.
Istrivein the world where othersgive up.
Iexpressmyself in ways others dare not try.
Ibelievein things others aretoo afraid to trust.
Iunderstandthings others cannot, in awaythat otherscannot.
Iknow, in ways that othersdeny.
Signed,
BenjaGirl (Mia).
95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!"
95% of the girls in the world would cry a river if Justin Bieber was chosen for the Hunger Games. Repost this if you are part of the 5% that would just volnteer just to chase him around with a (Very) pointy swords. Or my personal favorite, SHOOT HIM!
Funny quotes I got from SkybornWritergal:
"I did not choose to be a fangirl. The fandom shoved me into a sack, tossed me through a magic portal, and told me I was a guardian."
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If you just don't think you can, then STOP BEING A PINEAPPLE and START MAKING SENSE, even though I never will."
Things I got from dragonflyz:
10 Facts About You
1. You're reading this right now
2. You're realizing that is a stupid fact
4. You didn't notice I skipped three
5. You're checking right now
6. You're smiling
7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid
9. You didn't realize I skipped eight
10. You're checking again and smiling about how you fell for it again
11. You're enjoying this
12. You didn't realize there's only supposed to be ten facts
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. 'I wonder why I talk to myself ch?')
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. 'Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word 'deliver' could mean someone's liver?')
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, 'Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!'
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else's e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no 'apparent' reason.
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
Copy and Paste this if you're a writer
if you are obsessed with minecraft copy and paste this on your profile and add your username to the list: Cliffdiverwarriorcat, iEcho13, ICY GIRL1234, dragonfly,GXAtailsmo
(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.
66 of U Won't Repost This. But Remember The Bible Said – 'Deny Jesus In Front Of Your Friends And I Will Deny You In Front Of My Father'. "Repost This If You're Not Ashamed. Let God's Love Spread! :)
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae it otno yuor porlfie. And i touhght slepilng was iprmoatnt! :)
If you thought Justin Bieber was a girl when you heard his songs for the first time, copy and paste this into your profile.
1) Have you ever been asked out?
yes
2) Where did you get your default picture?
i made it
3) What's your middle name?
Jinx
4) Your current relationship status?
Forevah alone!
5) Does your crush like you back?
Don't have one
6) What is your current mood?
Calm
7) What color shirt are you wearing?
Black
8) Missing something
My sanity
10) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
nothing
11) If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
… Do I have to?
Audience: YES.
fine… an Penguin
12) Ever had a near death experience?
yes. I was grounded for a month (six) and I couldn't play minecraft
13) Something you do a lot?
Play Minecraft, read fanfics, read books, write, draw, sing. Now you know the story of my life.
14) The song stuck in your head?
everything that I listen to.
15) Who did you copy and paste this from?
dragonflz
16) Name someone with the same birthday as YOU?
my cousin is three days after mine does that count?
17) When was the last time you cried?
When I screamed I hate you at my mom...
18) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
I'm in chorus so… Yes.
19) If you could have one super power what would it be?
Black Pyrokenisis
20) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite gender?
they'er kinda mental, but I go more towards their side for friends than girls.
21) What do you usually order from Starbucks?.
VANILLA FRAPPACHINO! Is it bad that this is my favorite question?
22) What's your biggest secret?
I don't really have any...
23) Favorite color?
Ender Purple and Black
24) Do you still watch kiddie shows?
does adventure time count? because im obsessed with it.
25) What are you?
I really don't know
26) Do you speak any other language?
bits and pieces
27) What's your favorite smell?
Cinnamon
28) Describe your life in one word what would it be?
There is no word to describe the insanity of my life
29) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
No. Just. No.
30) What are you thinking about right now?
My stories
31) What should you be doing?
nothing
32) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
Chloe. She took my stuffed enderman.
33) Do you like working in the yard?
no
34) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
... I have two but I'm not sharing.
35) Who last made you cry?
mom
End of Quiz.
Dear bullies,
See that boy doing his homework in home room? Last night he Talked His friend out of suicide.
See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.
See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.
See that young boy you had made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor.
Re-Post this if u r against bullying. I bet 95% of u won't.
Your life would probably not be as harsh as theirs
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (B-but that's the only time I work on my hair!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (That's helpful)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (What if I don't want to? It's only a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (A little late for that)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are they sure? Let's experiment!)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But that's the only time I iron anything! Wait. Who's body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (Yep. It's not like kids aren't allowed to drive or anything.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (And I'm taking this why?)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children's reach. (No way! Keep sharp pointy things away from three year olds, got it.)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what?)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Well duh! Plus, they left out the peas.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Aww... I was hoping to throw them at random strangers. Or use them to stick up the old guys who's sitting next to me's nose)
On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts (Again, really why do I bother?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Nope, stop it with your feet.)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's nice. Destroy a bunch of kid's belief.)
Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me what abortion is. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this!
"whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door"
"whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to staple water to a tree"
I've seen a purple cow. If two gooses are geese, than why aren't two mouses meece? And if two foots are feet, than why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. Some people call me strange, but I'm just random. If YOUR random and proud of it, copy and paste this to your profile.
I THOUGHT THIS LOOKED COOL:
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .HR
... ... .HHH ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...H;H
... ... .HR;RHR.. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..RH;.;.R
... ... .HRH;.;.;RHR... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..RH;.;.RH
... ... ...HRHHR;;..;RH ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...H;;.RH;.R
... ... ...H; RHHHHR;;.RH ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...R;.;.RH;.H
... ... ... .HRHHHHHR;.;.R. ... ... ... ... ... ... ...H;.RHR;.R
... ... ... ...HRHHHHHHR;.H... ... ... ... ... ... R.;.;.HH;.H
... ... ... ... .HRHHHHHHR;.R. ... HH..RH ... H;.RHR;.R
... ... ... ... ...HRHHHHHHR;. ;.;R;.;.RH;.;.HR.;.H
... ... ... .R ... .HR; RHHHHHR;.R;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;R;R;.;R
... ... .R .H ... ...HHR; R; H;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;H
... ...R . .H ... ... .HHR; R;.;.;.;.;.;.R;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.HR
... .H . . .H ... ... ... ;.HHHR.;.;.;.RH;R.;.;.;.;.;.H.;R
...H . . . .R ... ... ... ... .HR.;.;.R;, R.;.;.;.;.;..R RH
..R. . . . . H... ... ... ... .HR.;.;.HH, H.;.;.;.;.;.H, RH
.H . . . . . .R.. ... ... ... .HR; .;.HHHH.;.;.;.;.;.HHRH
H. . . . . . . . H... ... ... .HR; .;.RHHR.;.;.;.;.;.RHR.;R
H. . . . . . . .;.RH... ... ...R.;.R.;.;.R.;.;.;.RH,;.;.;.;.;.H
H. . . . . . .;.;.;.;.H. ... ... .R;.R;.;.;.;.R.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.R
H. . . . . . .;.;.;.;.;.H... ... .HR;.R; ;.;.;.RHHR.;.;.;.R
H;.;. . . .;.;.;.;.;.;.;.H ...H ;.;RHR;.R ;.;.;.;.;.;.RHHR
H ;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.RHR ;.;. HRHR.;.R.;R.;.RH . . . . R
H ;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.H ;.;.;. . . .RHHHHHHHR ;. . . . . .R
HR.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.H ;.;. . . . . . ;.;.;.;.;.;. . . H;. . . . H
..R.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.RH ;.;. . . . . ;.;.;.;.;.;. . . . .R;. . . .H
..HR.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.HR ;.;. . . . . ;.;.;. . . . . . . . .H;.;.;.R
..RH.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.RHHR ;.;. . R ;.;. . . . . . . . ;. . .R;.R
... RHR ;.;.;.;.;.;.HHRHR ;. . .H ;.;. . . . . . . . .; . HRH
... RHRHRH ;.;.;.HR.;.RH;.;.RHR ;.;. . . . . . . RH;.;R
... ...RHRHRHRHHR.;.R; RHHRHR ;.;.;.;. .R .HR;.;.;H
... ... ... RHRHRHHR.;.RHR.R.R...RH;.;.;.;.;.HR;.;.;.;H
... ... ... ... ...RHHR.;.R.;HHHR.R. ;.;R;.R
... ... ... ... ... ...HR.;.RH ... HHR.;.R; . H ... ... HH;.RH
... ... ... ... ... ...HR.;.RH ... HHR.;.R . .H... ... ..RHR
... ... ... ... ... ... ... RHHR.;.R . HR
... ... ... ... ... ... ..RHHR ... ...RHR.;.R . .H
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
EEVEE SHALL CONQUER EVERYTHING! IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!
The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.
Attempting to give a damn . . . . . Unable to give a damn. Stopping . . . . Process failed. Damn not given.
I'm not so good at advice; may I intrest you in a sarcastic reply?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.
WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs.
Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.
What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?
It's funny-the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.
Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.
If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?
Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Screw fire and save matches!
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia - Fear of long words.
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmellows and flirting with the firemen.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back!
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed.
One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.
Tell the truth and run.
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?
Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality.
If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.
Education is important. School, however, is another matter.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.
Cynics are made, not born.
What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains.
Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing!
Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more.
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .
When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing.
If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me.
Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed.
Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up.
Strangers think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm outgoing. My best Friends know I'm absolutely insane!
People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.
They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.
Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?
Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver.
When life gives you lemons . . . make grape juice, and watch the world wonder how you did it.
Be insane- well behaved people never made history.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.
It's always in the last place you look . . . of course it is, why would I keep looking for it?
Happiness is just around the corner! . . . Too bad the world is round . . .
I'm not random . . . I just have many thou- OH, A SQUIRREL!
I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either.
Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . .
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?
"Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"
I meant to behave but there were to many other options.
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
Stop waiting for prince charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot might be stuck up a tree or something.
M.A.T.H. Mental Abuse To Humans
All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips.
You don't know what you have until it's gone. For example, toilet paper.
Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.
Hardest job ever: working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.
I heard you're a player. Nice to meet you, I'm the coach.
I just figured out nothing is wrong with me! It's the world that has issues!
If you are stupid enough to walk away, then I am smart enough to let you go.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke 3 times: once when it's told, a second time when someone explains to to me and a third time when I actually get it.
Think, while it's still legal.
Be careful with your words and actions, for once they are done they can only be forgiven and not forgotten.
Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
The cops never find it as funny as you do.
God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don't look at me in that tone!
I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me?
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
Therapist = The/rapist . . . Scary thought.
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
I'm not insane and the voices in my head agree with me.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
When life gives you Edward Cullen, smile evilly and go to your stash of weapons.
When life gives you Edward Cullen, throw him back and demand someone cooler (like your elementary school janitor, perhaps?)
A fail so epic, it's almost a win.
I'm sarcastic, what's your superpower?
A friend is a person that knows you are a good egg, even though you are slightly cracked.
What doesn't kill me better run pretty dang fast.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift-that's why we call it the present.
Have you noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anybody driving faster is a maniac?
I can insult my best friend, but heaven help you if you do.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you!
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the person who made you mad.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ..He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking so good either.
I'm sorry, yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look to impressed.
Anger is one letter short of danger.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.
Stuff from Darksomeone41:
What are you?:
PREP
You own a cell phone.
You own something from abercrombie
You own something from pacsun
You own something from Hollister
You own something from American Eagle
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player.*
You love Starbucks.* only the vanilla bean frappichino w/ no coffee
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale
You have more than one house
Total : 2
GOTHIC
Black is one of your favorite colors.*
You have thought about death.
You wear chains.*
You like heavy metal.*
You've shopped at Hot Topic.*
You have worn black lipstick.*
Your hair was/is dark.
You dislike preps. *
You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic.
Total : 6
PUNK
You can skateboard.*
You've worn plaid*
You like Converse
You hate MTV*
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. *( I will soon!)
You dislike pink. *
You hate/dislike preps. *
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.
Total: 6
GEEK
You love the computer.*
You like Harry Potter*
You get straight A's.
You love/like reading.*
You don't care what you look like. *
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.*
You never miss school unless you're sick.*
Total : 6
EMO
You cut yourself over depression ( used to)
You have been depressed.*
You have black rimmed glasses.
You like the band Evanescence*
You cry easily
You like emo music*
You hate being called emo.*
You keep/have kept a journal/diary.*
You have written a sad poem*
You think emo chicks/Guys are hot*
Total : 7
GHETTO/GANGSTA
You like rap.
You are/was in a gang.
You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants.
You swear once in a while or a lot.
You have freestyled.
You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out.
You can break dance
Total : 0
HARDCORE/SCENE
You like loud music*
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles*
You never walk anywhere.*
You wear slip-on shoes.*
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band panic!*
You wear band t-shirts.*
People have called you a freak and meant it.*
You love to "hardcore" dance.
hair has been died more than 1 color.
Total: 7
ATHLETIC
You watch/watched the Superbowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.*
You collect your jerseys.*
You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards*
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment*
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp
You have a specific number *
Total: 5
DIVERSE
You have at least one of each in every group.
You have/are participating in sports.*
You turn music up loud.*
You like to be in a gang, or want to be in one.
You are super sensitive.
You study for fun.
You have a tendency to get bored with activities, even if you like them.
You try to stay away from the other groups most of the time.*
You love to wear chains, listen to heavy metal, or love black.*
You use a lot of technology or wear any abercrombie, aeropostle (ect.).*
Total: 5
results: Emo/Hardcore/scene/gothic/punk/geek/athletic
WOW. just wow.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line. X
Things from KKKstories:
There's a 13 years old girl, and she wish
her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 1:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!
My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office. He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.
What a great email it was!
Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).
Go for it!
SCROLL DOWN!
STOP!
Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.
Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!
If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.
Boredom revolution army.
Our mission: To prevent boredom and kill it.
Our team (If you join to revolution, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name)
Autobotgirl12328
Lightning Prime
TransFanFreak101
Pinkittwice54
KKKStories
GXAtailsmo
Random quotes i thought were cool
"The one who smiles the most is the one who's the most broken. The one who fights the most is the one who wants to find peace.
The one who encourages others is the one who always feels useless.
The one who seems insane is the one who is just following a life no one else understands, or will ever believe. Nor do they want to."
"They laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same."
"Sometimes people put up walls not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to tear
them down."
"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
"Smirk, it makes people wonder what you're up to, while scaring the crap out of them at the same time!"
"True friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."
"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door."
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
"When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!"
"They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead..."
"Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement."
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED! Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."
"'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!"
"You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear."
"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!"
"Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."
"When you're down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you"
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."
"So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone"
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face"
"Tired of living and scared of dying"
"Scared to remember, terrified to forget"
"Education is important, school however, is another matter."
"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more"
"I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends."
"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't"
"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either."
"Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."
Natural Hair Color:
[x]Brown - $100
[ ]Blonde - $50
[ ] Black - $15
[ ] Bald - $5
[ ] Other - $75
Total: $100
Eye Color:
Brown - $50 [ ]
Green - $75 [x]
Blue - $150 ]
Hazel - $100 [ ]
Other - $15 [ ]
Total so far: $175
Height:
[ ] Over 7′ - $200
[ ] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[ ] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - 570$
] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
[ ] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
[x ] under 5'4 0$
Total so far: $175
Age:
[ ] 50 to 56 - $175
[ ] 46 to 50 - $150
[ ] 41 to 45 - $125
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[x] 0 to 18 - $100
Total so far: $275
Birth Order:
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $750
[x] First born - $320
[ ] Only Child - $250
[ ]Second born - $150
[ ] Middle child - $100
[ ] Last Born - $100
[ ] Third born - $550
[ ] Fourth born - $300
[ ] Fifth born - $400
[ ] Sixth born -$215
Total so far: 595
Drink?
] I did like once - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] Only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
[x] No - $600
Total so far: $1195
Vision?
[x] perfect vision - $400
[ ] need or have glasses/contacts but don't wear them - $200
[ ] No correction - $100
[ ] Glasses - $50
[ ] Contacts - $25
[ ] Surgical correction - $100
Total so far: $1595
Shoe Size:
[ ] 13 - $300
[ ] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $400
[x] 7 to 10 - $500
[ ] Under 7- $450
Total so far: $2095
Favorite Colors (multiple):
[x] Green - $750
[x] Red - $600
[x] Black - $100
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $300
[x] Purple - $225
[ ] White - $400
[x] Aqua - $350
[ ] Orange - $300
[x] Blue - $300
[ ] Pink - $100
[x] Other - $500
Total: $4920
Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
Yes - $0 [ ]
Nope -$1000 [x]
some - 750 [ ]
Final Total: $5920 (That took FOREVER) YAY I'M WORTH SOMETHING!
If you're a girl but the furthest thing from a damsel-in-distress, copy and past this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Orlando Bloom told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be in the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off
98 percent of teens do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would sigh and say: "Where to begin?"
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile.
f you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have ever crashed into a wall, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever ran into an inanimate object and apologized, copy and paste this to your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If there are times where you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are madly in love with a fictional character copy this onto your profile!
If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this!
If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile.
"Rule of math: If if seems easy, you're doing it wrong."
"Stick around, i may need someone to blame."
"Numbers that aren't divisible by 2 are odd to me."
"MATH. mental abuse for humans"
"Don't make me use UPPERCASE"
"Just be happy i'm not a twin."
"I'll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter."
"I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me."
"I can't talk now that squirrels are watching."
"Welcome to AWESOMEVILLE, population: me."
"SCARS are like TATOOS with better stories"
"The last time i reached for the stars, i pulled a muscle."
"I'd explain it to you, but i'm out of puppets and crayons."
"The trouble with trouble it that it starts out as fun."
"The hardest part about preparing for the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE is pretending i'm not excited."
"Don't follow me, i'm lost."
"I'm all that...and then some."
"Lord grant me patience because if you give me strength i'm gonna punch somebody."
"You're opinion isn't part of the recipe."
"I may not always be right, but i'm never wrong."
"If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, WHY PRACTICE?"
"If your not barefoot, you're overdressed."
"I'ts not all about me, but mostly it is."
"You can't make everyone happy, SO CONCENTRATE ON ME."
"What i lack in sleep, i make up for in blank stares.'
"If you can't beat them, it's obviously time for a bigger bat."
"Practice random acts of awesomeness."
"When God created me, he was just showing off."
"Question authority, but do not question Bob."
"Bob, the man, the myth, the legend."
"HERE I AM, now what are you other two wishes."
"Everyone is born right handed. Only the gifted overcome it." apparently i'm not gifted.
"Careful, or you'll end up in my novel.'
"If i can't fix it, it must not be broken."
"I'm so over the hill, I've started up the next one."
"I know just enough to be dangerous.'
"Life is about balance, just enough caffeine, just enough sugar."
"If you are agitated and confused my work here is done."
"If it weren't for "crazy", i'd never go anywhere."
"Earth is the insane asylum of the universe."
"It takes a lot on energy to simulate normality.'
"It's not that i lack empathy...ok maybe it is."
"I like cats, i just can't eat a whole one myself."
"Sarcasm. Just one more service i offer."
"I tried to get over myself, but i'm just TOO AWESOME!"
"Easily distracted by shiny objects."
"If you'd met my family you'd understand."
"No one ever suspects the short ones."
"Dangerously under-medicated."
"I should got paid for being a national treasure."
"You're in luck i can communicate with lower life forms."
"think outside the Quadrilateral Parallelogram."
"Be nice to me, i may be your nurse one day."
"I've had my coffee, you may speak."
"I'm perfect, you adjust."
"It was me. I let the dogs out."
"A woman's success depends on the type of shoes she wears -Dorethy.'
"Nerd? I prefer the term, intellectual badass."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders."
"Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult."
"If i can't build it, fix it, or mow it, it must not be important."
"Dear Algebra, stop telling me to find your X, she's never coming back."
"Yes, i know they pick on you and call you names but you still have to go. YOU'RE THE TEACHER!"
"I'm just here to establish an alibi."
"I'm awake and dressed, what more do you want from me?"
"What part of MEOW don't you understand?"
"If you could read my mind, you wouldn't be smiling."
"If zombies eat brains, you're probably safe."
"You can't spell awesome without ME."
"I"m not always sarcastic, sometimes i'm sleeping."
"There are three kind of people in this world, those who are good in math and those who are not."
"Dear Karma, i have a list of people that you've missed."
"Shut the FRONT DOOR!"
"It's ok to disagree with me, i can't force you to be right."
"You're never too old for nap time."
"I came, i saw, i made a sarcastic remark."
"Scientists say that the universe is made up of protons, electron and neutrons...they forgot morons."
"Being on time for me means WHEN I GET THERE!"
"Home school BY ALIENS!"
" My parents believed discipline make kids into better people. (i disproved that little theory)
"SRSLY?!"
"I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, TRY TO KEEP UP!"
"Being know as the "fun one" of the group is a good thing (unless you're in prison)"
"Contrary to popular belief, no one owes you anything."
"I'm not speeding i'm qualifying"
"Didn't make the GYM again today, that makes 5 years in a row."
"I could use an extra day between Saturday and Sunday."
"Say what you want about the SOUTH, but nobody retires and moves up NORTH."
"NO TRESPASSING. VIOLATORS WILL BE SHOT. SURVIVORS WOULD BE SHOT AGAIN."
"Never trust an atom, they make up everything."
"The SQUIRRELS are out to get me."
"Every problem has a solution EXCEPT YOURS."
"Keep calm and agree with me."
"Happy to accept the credit and pass the blame."
"LOL'ing on the outside, WTF'ing on the inside."
"NORMAL is boring."
"HOMEWORK, ruins lives."
"I'm right 97% of the time. Who cares about the other 4%?"
"You're wrong, I'm right, lets move on."
"I'm so far behind, i thought i was first."
"HI. I don't care. Thanks."
"Doorbell broken. YELL "DING DONG! really loud."
Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.
I'm not insane and the voices in my head agree with me.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
What doesn't kill me better run pretty dang fast.
I can insult my best friend, but heaven help you if you do.
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the person who made you mad.
Anger is one letter short of danger.
BREAKING NEWS
The pity train has derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up and Move On and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming into a complete stop at Get The Heck Over It. Any complains about how do we operate can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-waaa. This is Dr. Sniffle reporting LIVE from Quitchur fussin'.
If you like this repost it, if you don't suck it up cupcake, life doesn't revolve around YOU!
Best math problem ever it has about the same amount of logic as my conversations that i have with my friends
"You have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes can you fit onto the roof?
Answer= Purple, because aliens never wear hats"
I am an author by name
Reading and writing is my game
It is just so much fun
I'll do it till the day is done
Bring my pencil with me everywhere
People learn not to stare
If they do,I don't really care
I'll still bring it with me anywhere
Stay up late at night
Won't sleep until I get it right
I will get it eventually
You all shall see
If I'm writing,leave me alone
Don't text or call me on the phone
I won't notice if you do
Just wanted to warn you
I am an author and always will be
Because that's who I am,I am me
And I always will be
I'll continue writing for eternity.
(Paste this on your profile to take the pledge.)
Person 1: Do you ever just want to gently place your hands on someones cheeks and hold their head in your hands and violently jerk their head at a right angle and snap their neck?
Person 2: Well, that took an unexpected turn...
Person 1: So did their neck.
Person 3: I'm dying XD
Person 1: So are they.
Person 1: True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
Person 2: Why would the movie eat my popcorn?
Person 1: ...
Person 2: Nevermind, I get it...
How To Troll:
Go to YouTube and search Rick Roll 10 hours. Flag it as inappropriate nudity. The YouTube staff will have to watch the whole thing to look for the nudity.
Person 1: I wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed.
Person 2: A dentist.
Person 3: I don't know what your dentist does to you, but I think you need to go to the police.
Person 1: Having seaweed rub against you when you're swimming in the ocean is like having Satan slowly caress your legs and toes while smiling creepily at you and whispering "mayonnaise."
Person 2: I feel so uncomfortable.
Person 3: This is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
Person 1: Why do teachers have such an intense hatred for Wikipedia?
Person 2: Because it does their job better than them.
Person 3: My History teacher used to mess with Wikipedia when he gave us assignments. Half my class had essays about how Hitler was secretly in a relationship with Stalin.
Person 4: IM LAUGHING REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW
Person 1: Right now a baby is being born. Right now someone just clogged a public toilet and is running out of the bathroom as fast as they can. Life goes on.
Person 2: Hopefully this is not the same person.
Once I was babystitting my neighbors 6 year old daughter and she asked me why I was so ugly and without thinking I said "I'm you from the future." She cried for like 30 minutes.
Prosecuting Lawyer voice* I have only one question for the defendant...guiltypersonsayswhat?
What?
Haha. Owned. You're going to jail.
When I was 6 I thought the rule in Chinese restaurants was you had to eat everything with chopsticks. So when I got to dessert, I ate my ice cream with chopsticks and all these Asian people were staring at me with jaws dropped and when I finished I got a round of applause. I shit you not.
In Two seconds you'll be singing "Im a Barbie Girl" in your head. Enjoy:)
If read my entire profile, PM me and tell me. You may be just a insane as me.