Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

Rating: K

Theme: Concealed Love

Pairings: Kenshin/Kaoru

Acacia
by ViVesper (previously "Nujin")

'Finally...'

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Kaoru Kamiya's brow. Dressed in a simple blue kimono, the Master of Kamiya Kasshin-Ryu let out a sigh of contentment after settling into a comfortable position by the stream. Her back leaned against the bark of a ginkgo tree.

'What a beautiful day.' No cloud was in sight, showing the true brightness of the blue sky above. The ginkgo tree sheltered her from the onset of the mid-afternoon sun. The road was relatively quiet at this time of the day, allowing Kaoru to receive some of that peace that she needed.

She leaned her cheek into her right palm while she stared at the tranquil stream. Although everything around her was a scene of serenity, her heart was a tumultuous storm.

Why was it so difficult to tell him? Why couldn't she just let out the words that she practiced over and over, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute? Okay... maybe not minute after minute but it might as well be!

A sigh escaped her rosy lips while her thoughts traveled back to this morning.

--

She had woken up at dawn...again. Kenshin was asleep in his room and Yahiko in his. The morning was peaceful with only the early birds and the rising sun's rays shooting reds and oranges into the sky as her company.

Kaoru sat in the courtyard, leaning her body against one of the pillars leading into the kitchen. Her eyes lingered over to the laundry basket that Kenshin always used. His rurouni smile came to mind, bringing a smile to her lips.

However, that smile slowly faded into a frown. Kaoru knew why insomnia plagued her day after day, but she has not been able to stop it. As much as she wanted to convince herself that everything would be all right, her thoughts would turn back into doubt.

"Kaoru-dono?"

Catching her off-guard, Kaoru jumped at her name and turned to find concerned violet eyes peering back into her own. Kenshin was crouched on his legs, leaning so close to her that they could be breathing the same air.

"Is everything all right?" he asked, worry laced in his voice. Kaoru wanted to laugh at the innocent look on his face, but decided against it. Besides, she wasn't quite in a laughing mood.

Kaoru pulled on her best smile, "Of course! I just couldn't sleep, Kenshin. You don't need to worry."

Sighing, Kenshin sat down beside her. His bangs hung over to shield his eyes as his gaze hit the floor. "Sessha wishes Kaoru-dono wouldn't lie, that he does."

This ripped the smile off from Kaoru's face.

He noticed? Well of course he noticed! He's Battousai, how could he not notice, Kaoru? You baka! Now, you have him worried over you when you intended for him to not worry at all!

But then again, if he was able to notice something was wrong with her, then why couldn't he see how much she loved him?

Kaoru leaned back into the pillar and decided not to reply. 'What would be the point? I can't tell him I love him. The words will never come out. Besides... he doesn't love me back. He only views me as a child, never as a woman or a... lover.'

"Kaoru-dono? You've been waking up early ever since..." Kenshin's voice trailed off, leaving Kaoru's thoughts to finish off the sentence.

'Yes, Kenshin... since Kyoto.' Kaoru sighed, feeling exhausted suddenly. "Don't worry about me, okay Kenshin? I'll be fine." She stood up and began walking away when a calloused hand pulled her back around.

Kaoru was thrown into Kenshin's embrace. When he stood up, she didn't know or heard, but all she knew now was that he was holding her.

"Kenshin?" She wanted to bury herself into his embrace, to feel sheltered and protected, but she knew it was impossible.

"Kaoru-dono... if anything is hurting you or if sessha has hurt you, please tell sessha. Sessha can't bear to see you hurt." Kenshin had buried his face into her hair, but she still heard him perfectly.

Kaoru tried to pull away, but the swordsman's arms were like steel. "Kenshin, I..."

She wanted so much to scream the words out and to hug him back with all the strength she possessed, but it was these moments that her voice abandoned her.

Kenshin pulled back and looked into her eyes. She knew he saw the emotions that she tried so hard to hide from him because his gaze softened so much more. "Please, Kaoru. Please tell me what's been bothering you."

He didn't call her by name often. She sighed and bowed her head. "In time, Kenshin. In time, I'll tell you what rages inside my heart. But until then, please leave me be."

--

Kenshin stood several paces behind the dojo master, but she didn't seem to notice his presence. Her thoughts had taken her to another world, and he didn't want to interrupt. Letting out a silent sigh, he leaned against a tree with his arms crossed.

After this morning, he wasn't sure what he should do. He knew things wouldn't be the same after Kyoto. At first, everything seemed fine, but her insomnia increased as the days went by. He allowed her to believe he was ignorant, but he woke up whenever she did.

This morning... he couldn't allow for it to continue. Kenshin knew he was the cause of her distress. When he looked into her eyes this morning, he was shocked to see those emotions swirling in her eyes.

Loneliness. Hurt. Doubt.

Kenshin never wanted her to feel that way. When he held her... oh, how he wanted to hold her forever – to protect her from every danger in this world. Did she know how he felt when they went into town and the men stole glances at her? Did she know how many times he relished in the thought that only he had ever held her clothes and memorized her scent? Sure, this may seem to border on obsession, but it was the only pleasure he allowed himself.

He spent so much time believing that he was not worthy of her. But this morning, he realized that those thoughts were killing her. He noticed the way her eyes wandered to his figure when she thought he wasn't looking or was sleeping. He knew she loved him, but she didn't know that he loved her.

Kenshin kept his gaze on Kaoru, who was silently resting against the ginkgo tree. Although she wore just a simple blue kimono, he thought anything she wore was beautiful. Her hair danced in the wind, and he remembered the way it smelled this morning. Oh, how he wanted to drown himself in her scent!

He was ready to confess his love to her... but she asked him to leave her be. Should he tell her he loved her? Was it the right time? If he told her, would it erase all the feelings she held?

This concealed love was tearing him apart.

--

A sigh escaped Kaoru's lips. 'I'm not ready.'

Although all her emotions told her to tell him everything in her heart, she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to tell him her fears and her doubts. Her fear of rejection made her a coward, and until she could overcome that, she would not be able to tell him what her heart most desires.

Author's Note: Each flower has multiple meanings, and among the meanings for "Acacia," I chose the meaning of "concealed love." I hope this was able to portray that theme. Thank you for reading and please review.

This particular piece will have a sequel to it.

- ViVesper

Ambrosia is the sequal to Acacia.

Edited 09/10 - thank you Unicornfan!