A/N: I do not own claim ownership of the characters herein this story. All credit belongs to Dick Wolf. Obviously, this is AU.
Old Memories, New Beginnings
It is 9:15 pm as she sits in her apartment alone tonight, cuddled up on the sofa with her nuddle and her cell phone. The room is cold and dark, except for the flickering of a few candles. They fill the room with the aromas only one can find at a beach and a longing begins to tug at her heartstrings, kindly reminding her of the time she and Brian had spent in the Bahamas for their two-year anniversary. It was the first time in what seemed like forever that Olivia felt she could really let go and be free. She closes her eyes and imagines herself back on the sandy white beaches.
xxxxxxxxxx
Her brown tresses blow in the tropical breeze as they walk along the shore for what seems like the better part of five miles, just laughing and enjoying each other's company. A margarita in one of her hands and Brian's hand entangled in the other. They come to a rock and Brian pulls her to it. He sits down first and pats his knee, signaling for Olivia to sit on his lap.
"You know Liv. We have been together for two years now and I have to tell you, those have been the best damn two years of my life. Never in a million eons could I have ever imagined you and me together like this. Well, I mean, I imagined it but I never thought it would actually happen."
"It's kind of crazy isn't it? After everything we have been though, from the rough start thirteen years ago to Lewis…it is like the universe is telling us we are meant to be together."
"And I'm not one to mess with the universe, are you?" He gives her a sly grin and winks at her.
She returns his wink with one of her own. "Nope. I know better than that". She leans in and kisses him.
"Olivia. You know I love you right?"
"Of course."
"And you remember how I asked you to marry me after, well, you know?"
"Yes?"
"And you said no because, and I quote, 'How could you love me after everything he did to me? I'm not the same women you fell in love with mere months ago.' You said I deserved happiness and I told you I could only find this kind of happiness with you."
"Yes, I remember. She furrows her brow. "Cassidy, where are you headed with this?"
"Olivia, I love you and if I haven't made myself very clear, I want to spend the rest of my days with you." Brian made his way out from beneath Olivia and got down on bended knee. He pulled out a red velvet box from his pants pocket and opened it.
"Olivia. I'm only asking once more. Will you marry me? If you say no this time I will quit asking. These words will never fall from my lips again. But I would be an idiot if I didn't ask just one last time."
The look on Olivia's face was not what Brian was expecting. All the joy he had been witness to for the past three days was suddenly and swiftly washed away with the tide and was replaced by a look that could only be described as sheer panic.
"Brian...I…I can't. Not now."
xxxxxxxxxx
The sound of a thunderclap brings Olivia back to reality. She looks down at her phone. It is ten o'clock and Brian should be on his break at work by now. She shoots him a quick text to make sure he is having a good night. She slowly pry's herself off the couch and makes her way to her living room window, peering down at the city below.
Manhattan has always been her home but there are some nights where she feels like she is discovering the city all over again, for the first time, and tonight happens to be one of those nights. A few minutes pass before anyone walks close enough for her to see. She's always loved people watching and thinks that is partly why she enjoys her job so much.
She observes a young couple walking hand in hand down the street. He is dressed in khakis and a button down shirt. His companion is dressed equally as fancy, wearing a dark colored dress with kitten heels. They look happy, in love even, giggling as they saunter down the otherwise unoccupied street. They pause to take a selfie before the rain starts to fall. Minutes pass before another walks by. This time it's an older gentleman. Even from a distance she can see how thin and frail he is. He has a shopping cart filled to the brim with who knows what in it. His whole life is probably in that cart. Wherever he decides to stop on his journey though the city will be his home for the night. He makes his way over to the trashcan in front of her building and inspects the contents inside. He is obviously displeased with what he found, or didn't find for that matter.
Her heart breaks for the old man. She's never known hunger or homelessness before. Even when she was younger and her mother would kick her out of the house, she always had food in her stomach and a friend to turn to when she needed a safe place to stay. For a brief moment she contemplates helping the old man. Earlier in the evening she and Brian had gone out for dinner; it wasn't a fancy restaurant but just fancy enough to make Olivia feel guilty in this moment. As she turns to grab a Kleenex to wipe away a tear, she can see the to-go containers sitting on her counter. She must have forgotten to put it away when she got home. Is it even still safe to eat? Should I take it down to him? I'm feeling extra generous tonight, why not? She turns to the window again to make sure the man is still rummaging though the trashcans but he isn't there. She can see him in the distance now. Damn. For an old man he walks fast.
She makes her way over to the kitchen to make herself some a cup of tea. After she prepares her beverage, she makes her way into her bedroom. For the first time in a long time she opens her window to let some air in. She is greeted with the warm city air and the smell of rain. Sure, some say that the city reeks of trash and sewage but it's the smell of the city, HER city, and she wouldn't trade it for anything.
As she sips away on her tea, a book catches her eye on the bookshelf in front of her. She makes her way over and removes the book from the shelf before curling back up in her bed. It's a photo album she started 4 years ago when she finally indulged and bought herself an expensive camera. Inside is a collection of photographs taken by her, images of the city. Images of flowers, trees, people, whatever exudes quintessential New York City.
She opens the book and the first image is of a flower Brian had picked for her in the park. It's a light pink peony, her favorite. This was the first picture she took with her new camera. It isn't a fancy picture but she was pleased with it enough to want to place it in her album. As she sips on the remainder of her tea she makes her way though the album. The young boy at Prospect Park playing in the Cherry Blossom petals, a young girl at Central Park sliding down the slide with the biggest grin on her face. On the next page is a little boy she saw sitting in the dirt playing with his toy cars. He looked so content just sitting there by himself, not even aware that his mother had made her way down the path and was almost out of sight.
Olivia loved taking pictures of anything but her favorite thing to photograph was children. Maybe it was the motherly instinct in her or maybe it was just that the children she photographed were happy and unaware of all of the troubles in the world. She let a tear roll down her cheek. It made its way all the way down to her chin before she wiped it away. It was a tear of happiness, of hope. Olivia wanted children more than anything in the world. She had a taste of motherhood when she was given temporary custody of Calvin. They would stay up late and laugh at the dumbest things knowing they both had to be up early in the morning but it was completely worth it to both of them.
She finishes up looking at this particular album before she gets up and grabs another one. She is beginning to get drowsy but she vows to stay awake long enough to look at this one. Yes, this photo album was very special to her. It was filled with the greatest memories of time spent with her friends. There are pictures of them out at dinner, or goofing off in the park, and maybe one too many selfies. She flips the page to a photograph of her and her former partner, her former best friend. Ever since Elliot put his papers in no one at the one-six had heard from him. For all they knew he had dropped off the face of the planet and quite frankly, sometimes she wished he had. Then she could quit worrying about him. He was her partner, but more than that, he was the longest relationship she had ever had with a man. She would never admit to anyone, especially Brian, but she had still been hung up on Elliot when Brian proposed to her in the Bahamas. She knew that she and Elliot would never get together but there was something about him that kept her coming back for more. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder but in this case it made her heart finally realize Elliot wasn't hers and she had someone who loved her more than life itself right under her nose.
Sitting there in her bed, Olivia finally started planning her future with Brian Cassidy.
xxxxxxxxxx
The next morning rolled around quicker than Olivia had expected and she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was Saturday. As she was waking up she could feel her boyfriend behind her, his arm wrapped around her waist and his head snuggled up in the crook of her neck. She slowly rolled over to face Brian and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, making sure not to wake him. She crawled out of bed, threw on her robe, and made her way into the kitchen to make herself some breakfast.
As she was spreading the jam on her toast, Olivia felt Brian's hands snake around her waist as he placed a kissed her neck.
"Mmmm. Good morning beautiful."
"Hey there. You snuck in on me last night. I didn't know you were home until I woke up this morning." She turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. The pair stood their just staring at each other.
"I know, but you looked so peaceful when I came in. Didn't want to wake you," Brian says as he tucks a stray hair behind her ear.
Olivia jumped up and wrapped her legs around Brian's waist, cupping his face in her hands.
"Well you should have. I missed you." She placed a sweet kiss on his lips but it soon grew with such intensity that the pair started making their way towards the bedroom. After hitting a doorway or two on the way, Olivia broke the kiss once they reached their room. She hopped down and grabbed Brian's hands, walking them to the side of the bed. Before they even sat down Brian knew that whatever his girlfriend was about to say was serious.
""I'm ready," she whispered, barely loud enough for anyone to hear.
"Ready for what?"
"Everything. For old memories, new beginnings, unexpected gifts…you. If you'll give me another chance."
"Liv, are you saying what I think you are saying?"
"Yeah, I guess I am. I was thinking about our anniversary last night. The one we spent in the Bahamas. Brian, you deserve to know why I really said no."
Brian put his finger up to her mouth. "Shhh. It's okay. I know why. You still loved him and I get it. The wound was still fresh. I'm just lucky you let me stick around to help you heal."
"Brian, how did…how did you know?
"I just knew."
"You have to know I loved you too. But now that I have had the time and space to put things into perspective I realize I wasted a lot of time thinking about him when I should have been thinking about you. You were always right here for me, always by my side. You fought for me harder than any man has ever fought. I thought I would have to rid my life of him completely to make room for you. Now I know I don't. I can have love in my heart for him and still give myself to you completely. I realize that you are not only my now, you are my forever. I honestly can't imagine my life without you and I'm ready."
"Olivia if you are saying what I think you are saying, I want to do this properly." Brian got up off the bed and went to retrieve the red velvet box from his sock drawer. When he got back to the bed he could see Olivia was starting to cry. He reached over to the nightstand and handed her a tissue before getting down on one knee, wiping away a tear of his own with the back of his hand.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
She nods yes, dabbing away her tears. "More than anything in the world."
"Okay then. Before I ask you I want you to know this. I may not be a man of smarts or money but what I lack in those departments I will make up for in love. I promise I will never hurt you. I'll love you and cherish you for as long as I live. I know it's going to be hard and I know that we will have our ups and downs but I am confident that you and I are meant for each other. You are it for me, baby." He pops open the box to reveal the gorgeous cushion cut diamond ring that he had custom made just for her.
"Olivia Marie Benson, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?
"YES! Absolutely one hundred and fifty percent yes!"
Brian slid the ring onto her finger, felling like the weight of the world had finally been lifted off of his shoulders. After all these years he was finally marrying the girl of his dreams, only now she wasn't in his dreams. This was really truly happening.
Olivia Benson was finally getting her happily after ever.