Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: I'm not exactly a fan, so if this sounds critical and OOC, it's because I'm more interested in proving a point than telling a story. Way to encourage the kids, Rowling.
Harry Potter and the Nonexistent GED
"What do you mean I can't be an Auror?" Harry hissed. "Do you have any idea what Voldemort's doing out there?"
The clerk - the clerk goddamnit; they hadn't even let him talk to the Minister - stared down his skinny nose at him. "Young man," he said patiently. He made an odd twitching movement with his face that reminded Harry of a particularly petulant rat. "You are sixteen years old. You are not currently enrolled in school, nor, if your transcript says anything, do you plan on returning this following term. Your OWLs are above par, admittedly, but your NEWTs are of middling range and your Transfiguration marks have been only average in the last two years. The Aurors are an elite defense force. A mediocre, dropout student like yourself would be far more sensible to seek employment elsewhere. Have you tried Hogsmede lately? Or how about --"
"MY GOD!" shouted Harry. "Don't you have any idea who I am?" He shoved a hand brutally through his hair. "I'm Harry Potter! The Boy Who Lived! I'm the one who Voldemort's tried to kill seven times now and am still alive to talk about it! Let me tell you that if you don't let me in, you'll be condemning the entire Wizarding world to--"
"And let me tell you, Mr. Potter, that doubtless of your various feats in the past, you are not remarkable enough to be made exception to the rules," the little man said coolly. "You have received," he paused to read, "two weeks of training in countering the Unforgivables? What exactly did this 'training' entail, Mr. Potter? Undoubtedly one of your professors decided to have a little fun making his students bunny-hop across the room with a nice Imperio spell? Really, Mr. Potter."
Harry stared in disbelief. "I'm Harry Potter," he said numbly. "I'm your only hope."
"You would also be a liability." The clerk folded his papers with the precision of long practice. "Come back when you've finished school, young man."