Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters or settings. They belong to Tite Kubo.

No Heart to Love

The moon shone its grey light through the single barred window, dull radiance almost reaching my body, standing back, just in the shadows.

I heard a noise behind me, the door opening, and then footsteps. His footsteps. The light, distinct tread of Ulquiorra Cifer, my jailer.

I felt my hands tighten on my chest and I hesitated before I turned.

'What is wrong, woman?' as usual, his voice betrayed no emotion except a slight contempt, 'Do I scare you?'

I looked at his face, fighting the urge to shake. His green eyes were cold, as I expected.

'Answer me, woman,' slight annoyance tinged his tone and I barely supressed a flinch, silently wondering when I'd become so jumpy.

Looking up again, I breathed in slowly.

I fear you, I was screaming in my head, blunt fingernails scraping against an invisible, non-existent wall that my terror had created, I fear you so much that I hate you.

And in that same inward breath, I realised that I loved him.

And that he would never know.

And it broke my heart.

'No,' my voice was even, perfectly hiding the crashing despair ripping away at my heart, 'I'm not afraid,'

And then he was gone, and my silent scream filled the air, echoing out into the lonely deserts of Hueco Mundo. No one even noticed. Not even the smallest Hollow blinked or moved. I was alone. Alone with my despair and the weight of a broken heart.

'What is a heart?'

His words were crystal clear.

'Could I see it if I tore open your chest?'

I could feel myself trembling, ever so slightly.

I had lied, saying that my heart was with Kurosaki-kun, Rukia, Renji, Chad and Ishida-kun.

'Could I see it if I cracked open your head?'

No, I thought emotionlessly, even as I felt my eyes widen, You would not.

But I didn't speak, not then, because if I did, I might speak the truth.

That I had no heart. Not anymore.

He looked up into my eyes and I felt myself shake slightly, my chest feeling like an open, gaping wound.

He wanted an answer, even though, without really understanding, I felt that he believed me. That he believed what I'd said to be true.

And as I realised that, and felt the pulse of Kurosaki-kun's reiatsu, a part of me died. The part that, even without a heart, could love.

And, like before, no one even noticed.

Kurosaki-kun burst through the floor and his eyes burned with determination.

I could sense everyone's reiatsu and they all seemed to be okay.

And then I realised that I could still feel emotions other than despair, sorrow or pain.

They fought fiercely. During that time, I might've moved, instinct based upon memories causing my body to take action, or I might've even been attacked. But my mind was hardly there.

Then that disappeared. Up.

Uryu had arrived some time before and I tuned to him now.

'Can you use your powers to carry me up to the top of the roof?' it was cruel, but I knew he couldn't refuse.

And when we arrived at the top of Las Noches, Kurosaki-kun was dangling from Ulquiorra's tail, the black wrapped around his neck.

And then I saw the Cero.

Kurosaki-kun was dead. Instinct took over once again and my body went through the familiar movement of running towards him, calling out my ShunShun Rikka.

But it was no use, the whole in his chest refused to be rejected, the reiatsu on it too dense.

And I heard myself crying distantly. And then I sensed something stir in response. Then Kurosaki-kun turned into a monster.

But he didn't attack me, the dark Hollow inside him didn't turn against me, even as I watched it defeat Ulquiorra and then impale Ishida-kun.

And I wondered why until I realised something. Maybe Kurosaki-kun's Hollow didn't have a heart. Maybe he was like me.

And I understood, as I watched Ulquiorra rise and slice of one of Kurosaki-kun's horns, that that Hollow recognised me as neither friend, nor foe, but a kindred being.

I looked up as Kurosaki-kun's mask shattered and he almost returned to his normal self. There was a moment before the hole in his chest closed and he awoke.

'Inoue, are you okay?' I dimly heard his question and then my reply.

Yes, I said, but I hadn't been alright in a long time.

Then Kurosaki-kun saw Ishida-kun, and noticed Ulquiorra. And he didn't know what had happened, how Ulquiorra saved him from becoming a true monster.

He was shocked and I could sense his confusion distantly.

Kurosaki-kun and I watched as Ulquiorra removed his sword from Ishida-kun's stomach before throwing it back to him.

I heard Kurosaki-kun's voice but his words hardly registered.

And before I could react, Ulquiorra was fading. Fading into dust that would be lost in the sands of Hueco Mundo.

He reached out to me, asking that same question, 'Do I scare you, woman?'

And this time I didn't have to lie, 'I'm not afraid,' and then I repeated myself, 'I'm not afraid,'

'I see,'

Reaching out myself, all my fingers brushed against was dust. Looking at his face, I saw a type of realisation in his eyes.

And I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't lied those times before. What might've changed.

I sensed Kurosaki-kun looking at me again and I turned to face him, drawing out a smile.

He couldn't know that my soul was being ripped in half.

So I just continued to smile at him until he turned to leave again.

I thought that maybe, someday, someone would tell me they loved me, and perhaps even expect me to love them in return.

But that could never happen.

I could not be loved as I had no heart to love.

Author's Note:

I hope you enjoyed this story, although I don't exactly know where the idea came from . . .still, it got written down anyway