The Adventures of Emmett and Emma

By: Sheiado

Author's Note: Well, this is an idea that kind of sprang out from my head that couldn't be helped. I enjoyed writing it so I hope you guys enjoy reading it lol. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think... Good? Bad? Funny, maybe? ... do you guys want MORE adventures? Lol! Reviews would def be appreciated. Thank you so much for reading!

*************

New House Rule- Never Leave Emma alone with Emmett

Forks, Washington 2065

I was completely engrossed and glued to the television, my lips pursed and hanging open, looking much like a fish with its mouth attached to the glass of an aquarium wall.

: "You know, for pirates, we sure are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things. For instance, I once sailed with a geezer with no arms and no legs."

: "What'd ya name 'im?"

: "... Larry."

I bursted out laughing, uncaring whether or not if I had an audience observing me.

I shifted more comfortably against the couch... then the television went black.

My eyes widened in surprise. "Hey!" I yelled, my gaze shifting in annoyance to glare at Emmett standing behind me. "I was watching that!"

"Was," he corrected.

My eyes narrowed just as I growled, "Emmett, there isn't a game on."

"I know."

A hiss escaped my lips. "We were given specific instructions to stay put and not go anywhere, remember?"

"I know. But. Oh, come on, Em!"

I knew what he was thinking and I was also thinking simultaneously of all the possibilities of exactly what he was thinking and my answer was a resounding-

"No."

"No one's here and I'm borrreeddd," he whined, sounding much like the child he resembled mentally.

"Deal with it," I snapped, then held out my hand, "Now give me the remote back."

Again, he waved it tauntingly in front of me. "Gotta get it from me first..."

Without even a flicker of thought besides the emotion of irritation, I all but leapt over the couch and latched myself onto his back, all too soon realizing my error.

I heard the distant thud of the remote crash onto the floor, followed by Emmett's booming laughter. No doubt gloating over his own antics, his arms encircled my legs and held them tightly, effectively making me his unwilling prisoner.

"Emmett," I growled, "put me down now, you overbearing buffoon!"

I couldn't see his face, but I knew he had to be grinning from ear to ear in satisfaction with his ploy to goad me. The bastard. "Better hang on, Em," he warned with a chuckle, "you don't want to hurt yourself."

Before I could even let out a biting retort, we were ghosting it through the house and out the front door, running at full vampire speed through the thickets of forest trees surrounding our secluded home.

I growled, then hissed between my teeth, "you are soooo paying for this one, Emmett Cullen."

A low chuckle escaped his lips. "I doubt that."

Despite myself, a slow, deliberate smirk etched itself along my features. "You will when Mom, Dad, Rosalie, and the rest of our siblings find out that you've kidnaped me."

Emmett sighed at the reminder. "Ah, don't be such a buzz kill, Em! This is suppose to be fun. It's an adventure! We haven't been alone together to have fun in fifteen years!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, everything with you always ends up being an adventure, Emmett," I argued, "And that's the problem. That's also the reason why we should go back to the house right now."

"Sorry, Em," he replied, a little too enthusiastically for my liking, "but we've just passed the point of no return."

"No thanks to you," I mumbled.... knowing that my kidnapper of a big brother would be near impossible to escape from, I asked in a more less enthused voice, "Okay, so what are we going to do then my fearless, conniving captor?"

"Don't be such a baby," he chided, knowing me too well before adding in his usual, cheerful voice, "We're going to Home Depot and then stopping at the LQ."

Pure panic of the possibilities made me choke uselessly on the wind hitting my face. "Oh, no!" I shouted, trying to remove my limbs from his "manacles". "No! No! Nooooo! No! You put me down THIS INSTANT, Emmett Cullen!"

He had the audacity to look over his shoulder feigning innocence. "What?"

"We are NOT. And, I repeat, are NOT going to the liquor store and getting drunk off of five bottles of Ever Clear EVER again!"

"Oh, come on!"

"No."

"We'll have fun..."

"No."

"I promise?"

"No."

"We'll watch all the pirates of the Caribbean and Indiana Jones movies as many times as you want?"

I hesitated at that offer... could almost feel my resolve crumbling. Emmett was always a tv hog.

"Fine," I answered bitingly, "but, under one condition."

"Name it." I could almost hear the wide grin that was no doubt cracking his face.

"If we get into ANY kind of trouble, you'll be the one held accountable this time. NOT me."

"Ah, Man-"

"Or we can go back to the point of return right now-"

"Fine," he growled, obviously unhappy with my terms of condition, "deal."

"You know," I added after a silent moment, "Our family are not the only people that you're going to have to deal with. Seth's going to be pissed."

A booming laugh erupted from his large frame as he continued running. "Yeah, like I should be afraid of the big bad wolf..."

***********

Stopping in mid-run, Alice grimaced, her features scrunching up in sudden consternation.

"Alice," Bella asked, startled at her side, "what did you just see?"

"I don't see anything," Alice answered with a hiss, gaining everyone's attention, "That's the problem."

"Emma?" Esme asked.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle questioned, joining the rest of his family as they surroundedAlice.

"She can't see around Emma to see Emmett," Edward answered, "It's like he just disappeared."

An audible, exasperated sigh escaped Rosalie's lips, followed by, "he promised me that he would be on his best behavior before we left."

"His fingers were crossed," Alice pointed out.

"Figures," Jasper muttered, smirking despite himself.

Next to join up the family's ranks were Jacob and Nessie.

"Jacob," Edward addressed him just as he approached in human form, "Where's Seth?"

Jacob shrugged. "Near the res doing some patrols. Why? What's the hold up?"

"Give him a call," Edward answered, pinching the bridge of his nose, "he might want to know what his imprint's up to."

Jacob regarded him with a raised eyebrow. "That bad, huh?"

"Yes."

"Told you it was a bad idea to leave her alone with Emmett," he grumbled, pulling out his cell phone.

************

"Oooo... Kay. 'Ow 'bout THIS one... OOOOooo, no, wait, I've got a better idea!"

My vision wasn't affected at all like a human's after intoxication. Unfortunately though, I was feeling ALIVE. Okay, scratch that, TOO alive...

A loud belch ricocheted through the surrounding trees and echoed throughout the meadow.

I laughed at first, then scrunched my nose up in distaste. "Ew, thats-" (belch) "-gross, Emmett."

Loud guffaws rang out near me, followed by a reply of, "you're such a light weight, Em! You only drank two bottles!"

I turned to look at him... and then laughed outright. He was holding up, German style, a thumb and two fingers.

"Vah!" I laughed, "three!"

I imitated his gesture and laughed even harder when he looked down to re-examine his gestured version of numbers on his hand.

"Oopps."

"I'm such a light weight?! You can't even count right!"

"Whatever," he grumbled, then refocused his attention with a wide grin. "So, what's this new 'big idea' of yours?"

Grinning, I clapped my hands together. "I'm not uprooting a tree this time. I'm going to try and lift you."

Maybe, it was the liquor talking. But, at this very moment, feeling as awakened and alive that I was, I felt like I could move him.

Emmett crossed his arms, a gleaming, antagonizing smirk slowly crossing his boyish face. "No way! Sorry, but I'm too heavy for you, my little tele-kin-edic, sister!"

I laughed at his words. I do have to admit, a drunk Emmett was far more hilarious and entertaining to be around than a sober one... especially when he tried to talk using big words.

And we only had four more bottles of Ever Clear left, I thought wistfully... oh well..

Taking a courage swig from the half bottle near glued to my fingers, I glared at him, then settled it down onto the grass near my feet.

I can do this, I told myself. I needed to do this...

Emmett's confident grin still lingered.

I narrowed my eyes.

Seconds passed. The only thing that moved were the rocks and pebbles beneath his feet.

"By all means," Emmett goaded, "try again. You're going to have to do a HELL of a lot better than that!"

Again, no results.

His laughter soon followed as blisters in my ears after my third attempt, his large frame doubling over in exaggerated humor.

"AH!HA!HA!HA!!!"

Within three seconds: One moment, Emmett was laughing four feet away from me. The next...? His big, burly body was sailing through five tree trunks.

At first, I was shocked and confused. 'Had THAT just been ME?'

I had never been able to move people, much less vampires throughout the duration of my existance. And the first one that I've just so happened to even move and throw was Emmett, the strongest out of all of us Cullens.

At that realization, I couldn't contain my laughter.

I doubled over. Luckily, I wasn't human. If I had been, I probably would've been crying and peeing on myself at the same time.

In the distance, had I been paying attention with a more sober and less occupied mind, I probably would've heard the muffled, garbled guffaws of the audience that lingered and observed us from the brush of the tree line.

"WHAT IN THE-"

I was still trying to rein in my laughter.

"WHAT in the HELL was THAT???!!!" Emmett yelled, shocked. A mirthful grin suddenly lit itself across his face as he stood up and walked toward me.

Without realizing what he intended to do long enough to make an escape, two big arms encircled around me... and proceeded to crush me.

"Em!" He yelled in my ear excitedly, "Do you KNOW what you just DID???!!!"

"Ugh."

"Oh, my GOD!!!"

"... ugh..."

"You just THREW ME! You THREW your FIRST vampire!!!"

"Em-eettt... ugh..."

"Huh? What?"

"Uh... crruss...c-c...rruss...hhing meee."

Immediately, he released me, a sheepish grin crossing his face. "Ooopps. Sorry, Em."

"N-no problem," I breathed.

The excitement came back. "But, you THREW me! You ACTUALLY THREW ME! That was SO COOL! Do it again!"

Before I could even reply, a new voice suddenly cut through the silence of the meadow. "'Cause if you don't, I will."

Despite myself, I couldn't help but turn... and grin like an idiot.

***********

"Hi, Honey," I uttered sheepishly. I knew I had been caught red-handed then and there. The expression on his face was a thunderous one, an expression so very rare of Seth. It only came through when any given situation involved me.

... Geez, was I in THAT much trouble right now?

As if to answer my unspoken question, he snarled, "do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?"

I grimaced in response. I was reluctant to ask in order to find out. But, unfortunately, my curiosity got the better of me. "Not really, no... how much trouble?"

"Heaps."

Emmett chuckled.

Seth's stern gaze suddenly shifted from me to my brother in an instant. "You too," he stated.

Emmett's grin vanished.

A brief flicker of smugness clouded my face... until Seth turned back to gaze at me with a disapproving scowl.

"Yeah, you're both in big trouble."

I knew that Seth could never be mad at me, nor truly angry... but, I knew that his voice intoned disappointment for not listening, one that was not just his, but my family's as well.

I looked away while Emmett just shrugged, stating rather fondly to himself, "wouldn't be the first time..."

**********

So, here we are, sitting on the family couch with ten pairs of eyes gazing at us intently with blatant disapproval... I felt like the age of six all over again.

At least we were far too old for the time-out corner routine, I couldn't help but muse to myself in silence.

I caught a hint of a grin start to twitch at Edward's lips.

"I hope you two can explain yourselves," Carlisle began, standing in front of us with his arms crossed.

Usually, in a situation like this, I would've just looked down and suddenly found my shoes to be the most interesting thing in the world to me. Instead, I merely met his gaze and pointed right at Emmett sitting next to me. "His fault."

Emmett had the audacity to scoff at me. "No way."

"You kidnaped me, remember?"

"And you promised as a deal to take the fault," Edward interjected, no doubt reading my mind as well as my big oaf of a brother's.

Carlisle nodded, wrinkling his nose. "Doesn't account for the smell of Ever Clear liquor, however. I know Emmett didn't force you to drink it," he added, this time gazing at me intently.

I knew I absolutely sucked in lying to anyone in this family, no matter the circumstance. I shrugged. "So put me in jail for public intoxication, that'll do nicely."

Edward rolled his eyes simultaneously along with Rosalie before glaring reproachfully at me.

Only five out of our family were actually smirking at us, no doubt taking some sick pleasure in watching the two of us squirm... save for Jacob, at least. He looked highly amused with the situation entirely.

"And just how many did you have...?" Esme sternly questioned, standing next to Carlisle, looking ever like the disapproving mother.

I couldn't resist. Honestly. I held up Emmett's gesture for 'two' with a grin.

Emmett nudged at my shoulder. "Shut up."

"Ouch! Hey!"

"Can you two please stop acting like children for two minutes-" Edward began.

"He started it," I interjected quickly, earning another glare for it.

"Did not," Emmett hissed under his breath.

"You two are unbelievable," Rose started, rolling her eyes and throwing her hands up in exasperation. "We can't even leave you two alone for even one, single hour."

"Or minute," Bella added, looking just as mystified as Rosalie.

"Well, in my defense," Emmett argued, "She got drunk, I got drunk, and she threw me into trees."

I glared at him.

"You mean you let her throw you into trees," Alice corrected.

"No," Edward answered, grinning despite himself as he gazed at Emmett, no doubt reading his memory. "She actually levitated him into the trees."

Emmett nodded, a wide grin on his face. "It was awesome!"

Seth, who was standing oddly silent next to Jacob, grinned at me. "Seriously?!"

"Yep," I answered, quite proud of myself. "I threw him through five trees."

Emmett nodded. "Yeah! Not just one, but five!" He held his hand out for emphasis.

I grinned, unable to help myself. "WOW, Emmett! You finally counted right!"

His arm suddenly banded itself around my neck, effectively pulling me into a playful headlock. "Smart-aleck-twerp."

"Dyslexic-jockie-strap-eating-meathead," I countered, grinning.

Collectively, half the room sighed in exasperation while the other half chuckled... this time, however, Carlisle was actually among the chuckling side.

What can I say...? I'm the daddy's girl of the family.

Esme's stern expression suddenly melted into a fond smile as she watched me and Emmett... needless to say, we were both the mischievous ones out of her adopted brood of children.

And, truly, I knew we were. We kept everyone on their toes.

Edward grinned at me, shaking his head in amusement.

"I hope you two aren't going to start acting like this when we start school again," Rose muttered.

"Yeah," Seth added, a wide, goofy grin plastered across his face. "Then they might actually believe that you two really are fraternal twins."

*********

Everyone in my family pretty much has a particular favorite sibling.

For Edward and Bella, it's Alice... yeah, I sometimes give her headaches, due to being a werewolf imprint (therefore, she can't see me at all like normal vampires). But, we get along great... as long as she doesn't make me wear dresses.

For Alice, it's reciprocated. Her favorites are also Edward and Bella.

For Rosalie, it's Bella because of Nessie. I am, however, the next one in line for her. I act like a kid just like Emmett does... and I think she secretly enjoys playing the second mother to me next to Esme, even though I act like a stubborn tomboy.

For Jasper, it's Edward. The way I view their relationship as brothers: it's like the balance of emotion and mentality. Together, they get along great. Almost like peas and carrots.

For me...? Even though he teases me constantly and has gotten me in trouble numerous times over the decades.... well, my favorite would be Emmett.

Yeah, we're partners in crime.