Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries nor its characters. They belong to L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, The CW Network, and whoever else.
I Could Look At His Face Forever
You tell yourself it means nothing. Schoolgirl crush; because underneath the bubbly, blunt, awkward teenager and the tough vampire chick facades you really are just a hopeless schoolgirl with centuries of wisdom every so often weighing you down.
He's just the latest fling. His warmth just cracks the ice around that part of your heart you keep hidden a little more than most boys. He's just a puppy love affair. His smile just brings back the butterflies in your stomach in ways you haven't felt since losing Momma.
This is nothing but a break, a reprieve from all the using and manipulating - even if it started out that way, but it's more, it's so much more - no! No, this means nothing. It's just a bit of fun.
But he watches you, smiling with laughter in his eyes at their secret relationship like a private joke no one could ever appreciate. He's cute and floppy, and you still wants to make a good impression. He's young and full of possibilities you'd never even contemplated; it was always Mother you were after, boys were the stepping stones to reach your goal. But Jeremy Gilbert is grinning at you from across the room, and the butterflies are back.
That icy wall around your heart is a puddle.
Mother's not far, and you should be content, but you want more. It was supposed to be simpler with Mother back; Momma always knew best. But you want more, you want out, you want him.
Maybe you...no. You can't think like that. Too risky, too tricky, too soon, too sudden - but you smile back at him with all the possibilities he could give you floating around in your mind. You think over his silly request, and you don't know if it's so silly. You smile back at him, and think you could live with that face for eternity. You're a big girl; you're all grown up now.
And he's not quite a child anymore. Staring at you, grinning at you, daring you to do it - he's nothing like his bloodline. And it would be the perfect irony, the sweetest form of revenge, wouldn't it? He likes you, what you are. He likes you, every little part of you, wants it to. He's nothing like his bloodline, and nothing like the other boys - all wanting it for themselves, it wasn't never really about immortality together. Maybe he wants it forever to share.
You really could live with that face for eternity.