Title- In a white room….
A/N I feel that I write better when I have no clue where I'm going with the story. When I was writing my previous story i had started writing in my notebook (the beginning, and end, some middle parts too) and it just didn't come out right when I wrote it. This one came completely out of nowhere and I had tons of fun writing it!!
It was eternally dark outside; the moon shining into the nonexistent silent room, filled only by one occupant. This was the room Roxas was confined to inside of Sora. Feeling only what Sora felt, hearing and seeing all that he did, during the day. Roxas missed moving his limbs of his own accord, of being able to do things because HE wanted to. He had in a sense, given away his free will when he became one with Sora. Ironic, because he had to have his own intentions when he was to become one with him; it was the only way it could be done. But, Roxas had known it was the thing that he had needed to do.
Slowly but steadily, Roxas's, memories had come to him in Twilight Town, but when he was once and for all inside of Sora, they came tumbling into his consciousness all at once. It was the most overwhelming thing that he could have experienced, and he had mourned for months; for the loss of his beloved friend, Xion, and for the loss of his one true love, Axel. He had hoped; that since Xion went back to Sora; that she might be here when he finally came. But when the first night came, and he was allowed to roam the room no bigger than a rather large walk-in closet, he had found himself alone, in the insanely pure white walls of the room. He should have known; Xion wasn't actually Sora's Nobody, just his memories.
So when she came to him, she merely melded into him, truly becoming one with the once sleeping Keyblade wielder. So here Roxas had been, for nearly a year after the end of the war; sitting and thinking. He could not do much when Sora was asleep, but he had figured out how to do something that was a nice way to pass the time on certain days. The only thing that disrupted the Pure white of the walls, was a large window placed in the middle of the front wall. He found that he could change the scenery, if he wanted it he could look out at meadows, see a rain storm, the snow, the winds blowing through a forest, or even just the plain night sky. Roxas found more comfort in the night sky than anything, maybe it was just a habit imprinted into him from his time in the Organization, but he could find peace in the Darkness… well as much peace that one could feel being trapped. Tonight was not to be a peaceful night; he could tell as he relived a scene he had wished he never saw….
The last moments of Axels' life; that was the first time that Roxas had ever tried to take over. He wanted to show Axel that he was there, that he could hear him, that he loved him. But the red head had faded away into nothingness before such a thing was accomplished.
Sora had still not been aware of Roxas at the time, and his unawareness made it harder for anything to be accomplished. He wasn't able to hear the words of the Nobody inside of him like he could now. Yes, Sora was well aware of the blondes' Prison. Sora himself hated the way Roxas was trapped, he had tried to give Roxas a body, had even tried to turn himself into a heartless again, to see if they could correct what was messed up last time.
Roxas, though he wished desperately for his own body, had been against the plan since it first formed in the brunettes' mind. Sora had lost the internal argument and settled for sometimes letting Roxas take control if he wanted to, just to be able to walk and move freely. As grateful as he was to the overly cheerful brunettes' attempts to cheer him, on the off chance he would take over Sora's body, it just didn't feel right. Their bodies felt completely different, and he felt disgusted with himself for taking control of the young boys' body. But sometimes he did not have a choice in the matter, at all. Sora would push himself into the dark crevices of their joint mind and push an unwilling Roxas forward.
Roxas sat back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling and then slowly closed his eyes. He did not know how long these charades would go on. How long was he going to be an unwanted spectator in Sora's life? It was embarrassing enough when Roxas tried to push himself the farthest away from Sora that he could get when he and Riku were alone. Slightly disgusted as he felt his…… Sora's lips opening to accept Riku's. These unwelcome feelings that would rush through him when he didn't want them to. Sora could feel Roxas' extreme discomfort and he would rarely kiss Riku now, trying to be as light as he could, trying to show his love towards the silver haired boy without disturbing Roxas. It annoyed Riku that because of Roxas he couldn't spend nor do the things with Sora that he wished to. But he never let on to Sora, even though unspoken to Roxas now; he knew the blonde felt the same. They both wanted him gone, to leave Sora be.
He had to find a way to become fully one with Sora, or he had to once and for all end his consciousness. These were the only options that had come to Roxas over the past year. Like Diz had said, a Nobody didn't have the right to exist, and Roxas knew that if he were never 'born' then Riku and Sora could be happy together, not having to worry about the spectator watching their every move. He had a thought, a plan, and if it worked….. Well if it worked Sora could be alone in his head, like he should be.
_Three Months Later_
For three months Roxas had put his plan to work. It was hard and did not make sense at first, but after each and every time, he knew it would work, even if the logic of it made no sense. Like he had said even he didn't understand it, but to put it roughly Roxas was making himself disappear. How he was doing it even he did not know; it was like he was dismembering himself from the inside. A better, less graphic image is basically this; he was taking apart his memories, making himself forget. All that he was, All that he knew, And all that he had ever known. After every time he did this, things made less sense, soon the world was heavy with a black darkness, covering him, separating him from the little part of the outside world he had.
_Sora_
Sora noticed that Roxas was getting progressively quieter; when he probed further Roxas would mumble something incoherent and fall into a confused silence. The feeling around Roxas was different too, his 'aura' if you will, was murky, dark and muddled. It was like his brain no longer connected to the rest of his being. He had a feeling Roxas was doing something behind his back, but he didn't know what, and he was getting worried.
"Riku…." Sora started, causing the silver haired boy to turn around, his intense blue green eyes wary as he noticed the odd look on Sora's face.
"Yes?" he answered
"It's about Roxas….."
_Roxas_
My brain was all fuzzy, I could no longer think properly, nor could I understand much of what was going on anymore. I had forgotten long ago exactly why I was doing this, repeatedly every night, but sheer will from my coherent self made me keep going, even when I no longer knew what it was that I was doing. Or who I was, or where I was, and it was on the last day of the fourth month, that it all began. Or in my case, ended.
It was the last time I ever took my memories, my being, apart. Bit by bit my months of effort had not been wasted, I was disappearing. Finally and truly I was disappearing, and it was at this time that my mind cleared of the hazy fog that had covered my mind. I lay in the floor of my prison, Sora was not asleep and I was curious as to how I was here if he wasn't out cold. But I was disappearing, the fact that I was here in the room when he was awake was of low concern. I looked out the window and saw that same dark night I had felt so accustomed to, but these were my last moments, I wanted to see something other than that which reminded me of the Darkness.
Shakily I raised my hand and waved it slowly in front of the window, and as my hand passed over it, it changed. I was now looking up at the slight dawn of a winter day, the snow sprinkled down from the sky, covering the earth with a blanket of white, the dull light of the sky was beautiful; much more so than that night sky. My blue eyes sparkled as I saw my form, fade and meld, the same as Axels' form had, I could see the dark cloud forming around me. My breathing sped up a notch as I began to fade faster, and faster still. I felt a wave of fear wash over me as I faded into the nothingness that had consumed those which I had known. My vision dimmed, I felt clammy and cold, vaguely I heard my name being called, that voice sounded so familiar. I tried to clear my vision as I looked towards the voice, and saw a figure with bright red hair that seemed to be rebelling, defying gravity.
"Axel." I murmured; the seconds it takes for one to fully disappear dragging on like hours.
"You can't go Roxas, not the way I went, not to where I am!" he said frantically. I only smiled a small smile
"But wouldn't that mean that I can see you again?" I said; eager, now that I knew I was heading towards Axel. His face got a sad distant look
"Roxas, you deserve more, and have earned more than any Nobody. You could say that you have earned your right to be, to exist amongst the people who are whole." He said bending down and caressing the newly paled cheek of the pitiful blonde, and as he did something happened. The dark clouds formed together, flowing back towards him, connecting itself and latching onto the body it was leaving only moments ago.
"No, no what are you doing?!" he yelled, looking up at a beaming Axel
"Giving you the chance that you have rightfully earned, you are the first to ever go back to his other freely. You are the first Nobody to become whole, I'm proud of you short stuff." His anger flared slightly at the quirk Axel made about his height, but diminished quickly as he saw that Axel was fading into the darkness again, and a white light started to blind him.
"Axel-"
"Got it memorized?" said a faint voice as the white light consumed him and he lost consciousness.
End of ch.001
Ok I know that I go from third to first person but I really don't wanna change it because it kind og does with the story y'know? there is probably going to be a chapter .2 I'm just not sure how long it will be. Because like I said I write better not planning it out. Just writing as it comes to me! Its like my secret weapon *evil smirk* lol anyways, for those who read it and actually like it tell me so! Lol I need the feedback, and I need to know if it grabbed enough of your guys' attention to make a ch.002. mean I know huh? =3 0 and I know I just contradicted myself in the same paragraph. X3