Coffee Shop Confessions
It had been a week since I had last spoken to Blaine, and as much as I hated to admit it... I was missing him terribly. I missed his enthusiasm, his curly hair – minus the gel, obviously – his laugh, his dorky personality, his dreamy eyes that I could get lost in for hours, his plump, pink lips... I just missed him.
But I absolutely refused to be the first one to break and apologize. In my eyes, I had done nothing wrong and this was his fault. How could he have compared me to Karofsky? In what way were the situations even remotely similar? Karofsky shoved me into lockers, tossed me into the dumpsters behind the school and bitch-slapped me with a different flavored iceberg every day... Last time I checked, I don't remember doing ANY of that to Blaine. I never could.
I know I'm suppose to hate said boy for him even thinking I'd hurt him intentionally or bully him for who he was, but at the end of the day, he was still my best friend and if there was a person who I could talk my problems out with, it would be him.
This little revelation is what had led me to dragging myself up to my room Friday after school. I had avoided Blaine like the plague all throughout the day – even in Biology, where I actually had to sit next to him. I flopped down onto my bed with grace only I possessed, before pulling out my phone and bringing up Blaine's number on the screen.
I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before finally pressing 'call'. It was a few rings later when a familiar, deep voice grunted, "Kurt."
Okay, maybe he wasn't quite as ready to talk as I was… Oh well, no harm in trying to rebuild the bridge of friendship, right? Not unless he wants to burn it down again with a vengeance.
"Hey, you…" Oh my Gaga, this was beyond awkward. I really should have thought about what I was going to say before calling. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "I just wanted to ask if you'd be willing to have coffee with me… You know, so we can talk things out?"
The silence on the other end of the phone was piercing and unbearably palpable. I'm also 90% sure I could hear light breaths down the end of the phone that I only knew were Blaine's. No, that's not creepy at all, is it Kurt?
He eventually let out a heavy sigh and responded with, "I'd love to, Kurt. Meet you at our usual place in 20 minutes?"
"Absolutely, I'll see you there!" I hung up with a ridiculously huge grin on my face. At least this meant he wasn't completely shunning me from his life, 10 points to Hummel.
OoooOoooO
I got to the Lima Bean 5 minutes early due to the fact I hadn't changed out of my Dalton Uniform (I was way too excited to see Blaine again and who wants to dress up if there's still a chance their gonna be shot down again?)
I walked up to the barista and ordered a medium drip with a plate of biscotti for Blaine, and a Grande non-fat mocha for myself before finding a table in a secluded corner of the shop. I blew my coffee lightly and took a sip as I heard the bell above the door ring. I looked up and met the warm, calming gaze of Blaine's hazel eyes.
He began to walk over and I gave him a small smile as he sat down. I slowly pushed his coffee towards him whilst trying to think of a way to get the conversation rolling.
He avoided my eyes the entire time he sat down and the awkwardness did not get any better. Eventually, he looked at me, a hint of sadness radiating from his puppy-like eyes. "Hi."
"Hi," I said a little too breathlessly. God, I hate the fact he could still turn me into a pool of jelly. "How have you been doing?"
"Good… Good. I can't complain." He nodded as he dropped his eyes back to the table, his body slowly beginning to slump. He let out a sigh of defeat. "Honestly? I have been miserable, Kurt. I feel so guilty for what I said to you; you are nothing like Karofsky and I never should have said you were. I am so sorry, like I'm sorry to the point where I don't even have the words to even begin to tell you how sorry I am. Please, just say you'll forgive me."
During his speech, Blaine had leant forward and clasped my hands in his warm, rough ones. It felt nice holding hands with him again – platonically, of course… Well, platonically on his side anyway.
I gave him another small smile, pleased to know he had been just as unhappy as me during the past week. I squeezed his hand lightly and his posture seemed to relax a little.
"Blaine," I started softly. "Of course I'll forgive you. But, there's something you need to know beforehand. You need to know just how much you hurt me by saying what you did. The things Karofsky did to me… I would never do to you, Blaine. I couldn't bear to live with myself if I did. Granted, I may have over-reacted, but just so you know – I will always be here for you, whether it be through something as trivial as a bow tie crisis or something as big as trying to find yourself."
Blaine gave me the smile that always made my heart stop, but little did he know I wasn't quite done. "Don't smile just yet, amigo. There's another issue I wanna bring up – something else you did that really upset me. Funnily enough, it pissed me off more than when you compared me to that incompetent ape."
I tried to think of the best way to bring up the issue, but settled with - "On Valentine's Day, I told you how I felt about you. I actually put my heart out on the line and when you told me you didn't wanna screw this up, I took it in my stride and figured maybe you just needed time to think. And I was willing to wait for you… But the minute you agreed to go out with Rachel, I lost it because both of you knew about my feelings for you, Blaine. And yet, you both still did what you did. That's what really stung the most; the fact that you said you cared about me, but in that one second it took for you to say yes to her, you managed to throw all my feelings aside like they didn't matter."
When I finished my little rant, I finally looked at Blaine to gauge his reaction. I must say, if the situation wasn't as tense as it was, I would've laughed at his face. He sat there, eyes bugging out of his head with his mouth agape. He slowly regained his composure, but I could see his eyes begin to shimmer with unshed tears.
"Kurt…" Blaine's voice broke slightly with emotion. "I am so sorry. I didn't even think about how this would have made you feel. My God, I am such an asshole. Who does stuff like that to their friends?" He scoffed lightly before saying, "Oh right, I do. Kurt, please tell me how I can make it up to you. You know what, come to think of it, I don't even deserve your forgiveness anymore and I should've never betrayed your trust like that. Your feelings do matter, Kurt. They matter because…"
He stopped short in the middle of his ramblings and subconsciously tried to run his hand through his gel-coated hair (Unsuccessfully, of course). I breathed in slowly, trying to remain calm and patient even though I just wanted this behind us already.
He squirmed in his seat slightly. "I'm not going out with Rachel anymore." Well… Fuck me silly and color me pink.
"What?" I said as I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding.
He slowly shook his head, a look of disgust on his face. "We went on a date Wednesday and once I took her home, I kissed her – sober, this time – on her front porch…"
"What happened?"
"Let's just say: You were right. It did only feel good because I was drunk. Once I pulled away, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, but surprisingly happy at the same time. I felt sick because eew, I had just kissed a girl, and not just any girl – I kissed Rachel. Berry. That thought alone is enough to make me shudder."
I quietly chuckled at the face he pulled when reliving his date on Wednesday. "So why did you feel happy then?" I kept my voice smooth and calm, when really I was throwing an epic party inside my head at his sudden confession.
"Because at least now I know I'm gay. I just wish it hadn't taken a sober kiss with Rachel for me to figure it out. Which brings me back to my previous statement…" Blaine got up and took both of our, now empty, cups and threw them in the trash. He came back and offered his hand to me, which I took gingerly as he began to guide me out of the coffee shop and towards my Navigator until we were standing next to it.
"Blaine?"
"If I am being honest, with you and myself, then there's a part of me that's always known I was gay."
"Then why go out with Rachel if you already semi-knew?"
"Just bear with me here... I really hope you know your feelings matter, Kurt, because I feel… I feel the exact same way." I let out an audible gasp. That had been the last thing I was expecting, but damn was I NOT complaining. "I only went out with Rachel because I thought it would create some distance between us and give us a little perspective. Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely thrilled to find out that you liked me too – I even went home and jumped on my bed like a screaming teenage fan girl-" I had to snort at that one. "-But I still felt like you weren't ready for anything. Actually, now that I think about it, I believe it was me who wasn't ready. I told you before I had never been anyone's boyfriend, and the last thing I wanted was to be your first just in case I screwed things up with you to the point where it made you see me in a different light and you'd think I was nothing but a mistake."
He let his eyes drop to the ground, refusing to look at me. I placed my index finger under his chin and attempted to lift his head until he finally looked at me - cerulean eyes meeting gorgeous hazel. I made sure they stayed there before saying, "I'm glad this week has helped you find yourself. But please know that you will never be a mistake to me, Blaine. This whole week whilst I was meant to hate you, all I've really wanted is to see you and hold your warm, comforting hands in mine…"
It was my turn to drop my head in embarrassment as my cheeks flushed pink. He shakily intertwined his fingers around my own, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Kurt, if you'll let me, I would love to take you out to dinner tomorrow night."
I stood there, shocked for a minute (He couldn't possibly be serious, because if he was that means something has actually gone RIGHT for me, Kurt Hummel, for the first time ever!). When I recovered though, I didn't give him an answer. Instead, I began to lean forward slightly – still giving him the option to run away screaming – before finally, finally pressing my lips to his. It was all that I'd expected in my first kiss; slow, hesitant and yet completely cliché because I saw fireworks (Which I was sure was me just blacking out for a minute there due to the fact I was kissing Blaine).
I wrapped my arms around his neck and gently pulled him closer, wanting nothing more than to be completely surrounded by the boy I knew I loved. I felt his hands on my hips as we eventually, and unwillingly, pulled away and rested our foreheads against the other. "Does that answer your question?"
"Absolutely."
A/N: I have no beta :D Also, I had been thinking about the Blame It on the Alcohol episode for a while and it always bugged me that:
A) Blaine and Rachel went out despite the fact they both knew Kurt's feeling towards the shorter Warbler (Although that kind of selfishness is expected of one, Rachel Berry).
B) Glee never aired a scene showing Kurt and Blaine make up. It was like, one minute the Hobbit is comparing Kurt to Karofsky, next they're performing 'Animal' together and Blaine is telling Sweet Porcelain that he looks like he has gas pains… What the actual f***?
I also may have changed the story a bit so that they kissed before 'Original Songs' because as much as I love the kiss they did share during that episode, it kind of unnerves me that Blaine realized his feelings while Kurt was singing to a dead bird…
ANWAY, this is basically a filler for the things Glee won't show.Enjoy!