A/N: I know this isn't the next chapter of 'Deprogramming' like many of you were expecting, but I wanted to try something different for this week. Thanks to 'ionizable' for actually giving me the idea. P.S. I know I uploaded something yesterday, but after the day I had at work, I needed some laughs. P.P.S. for those wanting to keep updated on my stories I usually update on Tuesdays before 7:00 pm CST.

POI – POI – POI – POI – POI

Root mentally cursed the fact that she was running late. She had given herself ample time to get to the bar early for her 'supposed' date with Sameen – Shaw actually agreeing to grab drinks with her after working as a team to save the number that week constituted a date in Root's book – but it was almost as if everything was against her getting there. The turnstile at the subway had been busted and refused to give Root a ticket forcing her to wait in an absurdly long line at the apparently sole working one. Then some fat American tourists had felt it necessary to stand on the stairs leading to the platform as they discussed their plans for the evening – Root would have shoved them down the stairs had a cop not happened to be standing nearby with clear view of the tourists and Root. She had gotten down to the platform and swore aloud as she watched the train disappear down the tunnel.

By the time the next train departed from the station it was 8:07 and Root had three minutes before she was supposed to meet Sam at the bar. Attempts at sending the woman a text - informing the former assassin that she was running late - proved futile from not getting a strong enough signal.

Once the train arrived at her destination Root had raced through the station at breakneck speed. Taking the steps two at a time she got herself oriented and made her way to the bar two blocks away. Running now ten minutes late Root was more than annoyed and mentally hoped that Shaw had not gotten tired of waiting around.

Reaching her destination the light haired brunette took a moment to make sure her hair was still neat and orderly, it hung down in a wave of curls today which she thought about keeping from the looks it had gotten from Sameen. Opening the door she headed inside.

The bar was crowded. Every table that Root could see was surrounded by people, not all of them sitting from the lack of chairs, and there was only small avenues between crowds of people to traverse through. The loud clamor of the place was near painful on Root thanks to her Cochlear implant and more than once she squinted her eyes in pain as several patrons yelled loudly while watching their team play on the bar's television.

Then like a thin ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day Root heard familiar yet rare laughter. She recognized it instantly as Sameen's even though she had only heard it a handful of times. Her attention focused on the source and she spotted the short woman sitting at a table with some other woman.

Shaw's cheeks were a little red – hinting that she had been drinking for far longer than Root expected or had partaken of stronger beer than she usually did – one hand was grabbing onto the edge of the table and the other was clenching tightly to a full bottle of beer. Her eyes were closed and her shoulders rose and fell as the stoic woman's amusement continued.

Root could only see the back of the head of the woman sitting with Sam. From this distance she could tell the woman was around her own height and had skin the pale white color of one who spent most of their time indoors. Her blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail and there was a streak of green paint that ran down the shell of her ear.

The woman placed a hand on the back of her head, evidentially having to discreetly scratch some itch. Four of her fingers scratched at the hidden skin while her middle finger slowly straightened. It stayed poised sticking out like a weed amongst a field of flowers before quickly and discreetly curling once more amongst its brethren.

It took a second for her brain to fully process what she had just seen and to make certain it was not a mistake. Once that was done Root's face twisted for a moment into a painful grimace – as though she had just taken a particularly foul tasting medicine – her hands balled into fists so tightly it was a wonder that her nails did not break skin. There was only one person she knew, aside from Sameen, who could detect her that easily and would take pleasure in insulting her that quickly. 'What the…who does….get away from her!' Root's synapses were firing rapidly and it was proving difficult to think clearly. Like a charging bull Root made a direct line to the table Shaw was sitting at unconcerned about not drawing attention to herself.

Sameen Shaw

Shaw was still chuckling over the joke the blond seated across from her had just told. Picking up her beer she took a swig and set the bottle back down. Wiping her mouth off on the back of her hand she leaned forward to say something but quickly forgot it as a sudden feeling of nervousness came over her. Years spent in life and death situations had trained her senses to remain at heightened alert without the need for conscious reminder. Those senses were now going off letting her know that trouble had arrived. Instinctively her hand dropped to one of the boots she wore and wrapped around the hilt of the knife tucked away in her boot even as her brown eyes scanned the bar.

She had barely started the sweep when her attention was drawn to Root's stony face. The woman's attention was solely focused on Sameen and though she was smiling her eyes looked ready to kill.

As though sensing the shorter woman's concern the blond gave her a quizzical look before turning and looking over her shoulder at what had drawn Shaw's attention. Her face lit up into a smile and she got to her feet and spun around arms wide as she caught the storming Root and pulled her in for a hug.

"Samantha dear it's been ages." Her voice was filled with mirth as she held tightly to the struggling woman. Resting her head briefly on Root's shoulder she squeezed the brunette a little harder than was necessary and held on till Root's own arms wrapped her up in an equally tight hug.

"It has been awhile." Root got out her voice somewhat strained from the force of the slender woman's hug. "I didn't expect you to get here before me."

"Oh you know me, I'm just full of surprises." The woman then gave Root a chaste lingering kiss on the cheek that was held for a second or two longer than Root appeared comfortable with before the blond released the woman.

Shaw could see that Root bit her bottom lip for a moment and was still giving the woman a cold look before her face broke into its usual smile when she looked at her.

As Root's eyes scanned the bar trying to spot an empty chair Shaw decided to take some pity on the woman. Standing she gave Root a look and nodded towards the chair. Root gave her a grateful smile as Shaw headed to the bar to grab the woman a drink.

Root

The moment Sameen was out of sight Root's attention focused on the blond who was giving her an all too innocent smile as she sipped at her margarita.

"What is your game?" Root hissed out. She kept her voice lower than necessary given the amount of noise in the background but felt it prudent.

"Game?" The young woman said in mock shock a hand theatrically going to her chest as though Root's question had blindsided her. "What on Earth would make you think I am playing a game?"

Root gave her a glare that she had been given more than once by Sameen. "You might have others fooled, but I know you a Hell of a lot better than most people do."

The blonde's smile dropped for a moment allowing Root to see the cold calculating criminal that lay beneath the innocent façade of a painter. "The reason I'm here Samantha has little to do with you. Fact is that your…lovely friend there…" her eyes glanced over at the bar mirror where she could easily see Shaw reflected in the angled glass.

Root reflexively growled at the open admiration in the woman's eyes as she drank in Sam's lithe form. "She's off the table Irene." She put extra emphasis on the false name the woman had used the last time she request her help. Though both women knew all too well that Root was familiar with several of her aliases and one of a handful who knew the blonde's true name.

"A pity." She responded with a dry sigh. Picking up her glass she took another sip of the bitter drink and then leaned forward slightly and lowered her voice. "She is rather fetching. Knowing your tastes I am rather surprised that you've not grown tired of her yet." Her eyes searched Root's for a moment before a sly smile came over her face. "Oohh…that's the reason is it." There was a chuckle in her voice as she enjoyed the sight of Root's teeth grinding together. "You've finally found someone who can resist your charms. No wonder your so fixated on bedding her."

Who I am interested in…seeing what you've painted recently." Root bit back her retort and seamlessly changed what she had been going to say when she noticed Sameen approaching with drinks in hand. Quashing her anger and embarrassment she plastered a smile on her face and got to her feet to take the drinks from Shaw.

Moriarty

Jamie gave Root a coy smile. Much like the light haired brunette she could easily shift between the various cover identities she used. Each contained a facet of her true personality making it somewhat easier to step into their shoes and keep them straight in her head. Especially important when dealing with certain individuals with the innate ability to remember every little thing about you right down to the exact number and placement of freckles on your back. 'The one damn thing that I never even thought of and it had to be the bloody clue to tip him off to my charade.' She thought with a frown.

Hours passed as the women made painfully boring idle chatter. She found herself growing bored since so little thought needed to be paid to follow along with what was being said. In truth Jamie would almost rather discard the whole false backgrounds and actually talk about real things. From what she had gathered about Sameen Shaw the woman was a formidable sniper. She mentally ached to give the woman a complicated shooting scenario just to see how the government trained assassin would solve it and if she could still correctly mentally calculate the numerous variables that could affect her shot.

Every so often she would subtly glance over at Root. It had to be done carefully given how the woman seemed to always quickly sense whenever Jamie was looking her way. It was…intriguing how the emotionally devoid and near sadistic hacker - that she had employed on numerous occasion - had developed a soft spot for the dark haired woman. There was a softness to Root's eyes that had not been there before – though that quickly vanished whenever Shaw or Jamie looked at her.

It was near closing time before Sameen Shaw finally called it a night. Though she had downed more beers than the other two women Shaw appeared to be only slightly inebriated. No noticeable unsteady gait, her words were still clean and crisp – albeit with more profanity thrown in, and the slight flush in her cheeks could easily be attributed to any number of other causes.

Root accompanied Sameen to the door, a task that Jamie herself was not certain she was as capable of after being coerced by Sameen into a downing far more drink than she originally planned. The fourth Margarita had been particularly strong – thanks to Root slipping the bartender some extra cash in the hope of having the mental edge over the criminal mastermind. Though that edge counted for little now since Root was almost equally drunk after being goaded into a drinking contest against Sameen. Apparently her pride refused to let her be called a lightweight by a woman of shorter stature than herself.

As Jamie Moriarty watched the two women her inebriated mind came up with a plan. Born of both drunkenness and boredom the opportunity to have some entertainment while in town was too good to pass up. It continued to take form and shape as she watched Root stumble slightly on her way back to the table. A cheerful smile was firmly affixed to the woman's face, but Jamie knew the woman well enough to see the bottled anger bubbling beneath the surface.

Once seated Root did not hesitate to threaten the criminal genius. "What the Hell are you doing here Jamie? I told you years ago I was not going to take any more jobs from you. If you are planning to use Sameen to force me to take a job then save yourself the trouble and put a bullet in us both this night because otherwise you'll be the one dead before I leave this bar."

The blonde gave Root a smile – that looked far more sober than she truly was. "My dear Root we parted ways amicably. I have no intentions of forcing you to work for me. Besides I've decided to forgo the stick in recent years. Has a nasty habit of require new hires and while dumb muscle is easy enough to come by, the more…talent sort that I prefer to have working for me are not so easy to come by. Anyway business brought me here, I did not know you were even here till after I arrived. "

Root gave her a flat look and rolled her eyes. She knew the woman was shit-faced and that she distinctly lacked subtlety or the ability to artfully dodge the truth when thoroughly inebriated. "Then why are you here?"

"An old…acquaintance of mine recently relocated here. I've been keeping tabs on him and simply felt like looking him up." She said simply before taking another drink. "But I don't want to talk about business anymore, I'm wanting to discuss…pleasure."

"Not happening." Root said. The bite in her tone making it clear that she had no interest in sharing the woman's bed ever again.

"Pity, you certainly knew how to please your lovers. Though you misunderstand." Pushing her drink aside she folded her hands on the table and leaned forward. "I've bene dreadfully bored these last two weeks and I need…some excitement. I just could not find anything to keep me entertained during my prolonged stay until…" She trailed off into silence and gave Root a sinful smirk.

Root's eye twitched slightly as her face darkened and she leveled a heated glare at the smirking woman. "Choose your next words carefully Jamie."

'Knew you were still in there somewhere Rooty.' Moriarty drunkenly fell back on her pet name for the brunette as she felt her pulse quicken from the death glare she was being given. "I want to make a little wager. You've obviously had no success in coercing Ms. Shaw into your bed."

"Not from lack of trying." Root grumbled as she frowned down at the table remembering the numerous flirtatious advances that had all either been outright ignored or painfully shot down.

"I think if you had some healthy competition for the woman's affections that it may…inspire you to…actually bed Sameen."

Root's left eye was twitching continually now and Moriarty could have sworn she heard the woman's teeth grinding together. "She isn't some prize to be won Jamie."

The blonde laughed. It was a high trilling sound that had an undertone of malevolence. "Anything and anyone can be a prize Jamie." She parroted the words back to the woman whom had used them so often in the past when they used to work together. "Look I'm only in town for another two weeks…unless things do not go according to plan. I think you'll find it more entertaining than you suspect."

"Fine!" Root snapped. "But we're setting ground rules first."

"Fair enough. I assume winner is the first one to sleep with her?" She quirked an eyebrow at the hacker and received a nod of consent.

"No drugging her, abducting her, or getting her wasted. She has to make the decision of her own free will while sober and clear headed."

"I certainly can agree to that. It wouldn't be an intellectual contest otherwise."

"No lying to her either."

"You're not serious?!" An instant later Jamie regretted those words as she saw the look of determination on the light haired brunette's face. "So what I'm just supposed to freely admit that I'm an international criminal mastermind?"

Root smirked and said dryly "You never know she might just be into that kind of thing."

"In that case no telling her about this little…contest of ours."

Root shrugged showing that she wasn't concerned about that. "I think that is good for starters. Shall we agree that it is subject to change at a later date if it needs to be made more fair for you?" Root's triumphant smile made Moriarty chuckle inwardly.

"So then aside from Sameen what do I get when I win?" Root asked lightly as she picked up her half-full beer and took a drink.

Jamie thought for a moment then said "How about the location of Mr. John Greer? Sources tell me you've been discreetly searching for him ever since that horrible debacle with…Samaritan was it?"

Root masked her surprise well, but Moriarty still noted the slight hitch in her breathing at the name of the man who'd almost destroyed them all. "I'm not even going to ask how you know that. What do you get if you win?"

The blonde did not hesitate before responding. "2 hours free access to your friend that has been chatting idly in your ear off and on for the last couple hours. I have so much to ask her, and so much that I'd love for her to share with me."

"Done." Root said after a moment's hesitation. Her confidence at winning, the possibility of finally tracking down that bastard Greer and her belief that the Machine would refuse to talk with Jamie fueling her desire to agree to the contest. Stretching out her hand she clinked the bottom of her beer bottle against the other woman's raised Margarita glass. "The winner will be the first one to seduce Sameen."

POI – POI – POI – POI – POI

A/N: What plans do these women have for seducing Shaw? What dirty tricks will they pull out? Will Sherlock, Watson, Finch, John or the Machine interfere in this little wager? What will happen if Shaw finds out? Should I even continue this? Feel free to leave a review/comment and place your bets, make suggestions, offer ideas, and if you see errors that need correcting (be they grammatical, with characterization, story flow, or anything else please let me know). Thanks for taking the time to read this and enjoy the rest of your day.