He sat there. He was unable to move. Her words rang in his head like sirens
I love you… I do… But I think I love the job more
His heart had literally broken. It was shattered, in a million pieces on the floor of the bull pen. She hadn't even given him and chance to say that he loved her and could not live without her. He hadn't a chance to tell her that she made him complete and that he wanted a future. He didn't want to live for the job any longer.
He grabbed his keys and started for his truck.
Grace sobbed and cried her way home. She rand 3 stop signs, but didn't care.
What had she done? Her words tasted like vomit
I love you… I do… but I think I love the job more
She'd lied to him just as she'd lied to herself. She didn't love the job more. She was scared shitless that he would take the job in San Francisco and that they would be happy for a time. Eventually he would come to resent her for making him leave the CBI. What if by then it was too late? What if by then they had children?
They would have beautiful children.
She wouldn't ever let her children grow up the way she did, in a house where their parents resented and hated each other and the children. She was an accident and her parents had made that clear. Her mother and father had gotten pregnant with her when they were 16. they got married and did the right thing. As time passed her dad would sleep around and be gone for days on end. Her mother was out all the time with different men. Neither of then talked to her. Neither of them cared. They weren't there when she graduated high school, college or the academy. She wasn't sure if they knew she was in California working for the CBI. She wouldn't let her life take that direction because she let the only man who she's ever loved, the only man who's love her, make a rash decision.
Rigsby pulled up to grace's apartment. He took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.
"Grace, its me… can I come in?"
Grace opened the door. She looked at Rigsby and broke down.
He gathered her up and sat on the couch. Stroking her hair and wiping her tears.
"god, I love you so much grace. You break my heart with loving you."
"Im sorry Wayne… I love you too. But we can't do this. I can't live my life like that"
"Like what? Did I do something? Do you mean my past. I know my dad was a bike and a bad guy, but I've spent my life not being him. I've had humble beginnings…"
"No it so not that… I, my parents, the made a rash decision and I was the result. They hated each other and they hate me…"
"Grace, I wont ever hate you. I was born to find you and to make a life with you. You are my rock and my soul. I never had a family, I never felt complete. The day I met you I felt pulled to you like the universe was telling me that you were here for me. I waited 2 years for you, I can wait longer. I love you, but if you're not ready…"
she looked at him into his eyes. She could see his love and his broken heart. She leaned in and kissed him. A wordless apology showing him that she loved him.
" Wayne… I'm scared. That's all. No one has ever loved me. I'm not even sure if my parents know that I'm in California. I haven't talked to them in 3 years. They've resented me for years. They got pregnant in high school with me and their life ended. They've hated me for that all my life"
"I'll never resent you grace. You are my life"
he reached into his pocket.
"Look, I found this online today. Its 45minutes from Sacramento and 45minutes outside of San Francisco"
she looked at the paper. It was a listing for a small place in Napa.
" do you want to go check it out this weekend on our day off?"
He looked at her with pleading eyes.
" you've been thinking about this a while?"
"yeah, since our fight. I wanted to have a plan, to show you that we could make this work. Hightower's ultimatum got me off my butt. Look, grace, I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I don't care about the CBI, I care about you."
" I know Wayne. I love you too. Driving home, I was thinking about my life. I don't want to live for the job. I want to life for you and our beautiful babies. But I want you to be sure about your decision. Let's go look at the house"