Title: It's always raining – Opening
Disclaimer: "Tokyo Babylon", "X", "xxxHolic" and all characters and/or contents are belonged to CLAMP and their publishers. The author does not have any legal ownership of these works, and they are being used on as a fan fiction material. This is a non-profit writing, and the author never receives any incentive for her work. All original characters are belonged to author and forbidden to use without permission.
Warnings: Crack(?). This work contains relationship between two men. Don't like it, don't read it. This is an AU scenario based on manga.
Spoiler: Nothing, for who know "X" and "Tokyo Babylon".
Notes: Inspired from previous story: It's Always Raining (oneshot). Continuation of that rainy day. This fic is humor-oriented, for I'm incapable to write angst.
Status: Unbeated.
Summary: It's all started from a piece of can.
It's Always Raining
Opening
Subaru often ponders over how weather matched perfectly with his mood.
When he was young and no more than a child, there was always sunshine and too bright sky. He presumed being around cheerful and hyperactive Hokuto attracted sun over him, though maybe a bit too much; he could still remember how often he fainted under harsh summer sunlight… He suspected Hokuto was an incarnation of one of Sun Goddess's minions, or the goddess herself, for she was just so matched perfectly with sun's characteristic: optimistic, cheerful, bright.
Oh, and there was his Grandmother too. Her strict training and education, as both onmyouji and next head clan, was comparable with Hokuto's in passion, if not in fashion. Definitely not in fashion.
After the…Bet, which occurred when he was still a child, the brightness had lessened considerably. There was mist now, even in the middle of noon, and thin ice wall surrounding and making him isolated from the world around him in form of a pair of gloves. It felt uncomfortable, like someone had snatched away his warm blanket to shove him under real weather for the first time.
Although, he secretly felt a bit relieved, even if he never dared to voice it out loud; his Grandmother would probably contemplating to exorcise him for that. The Bet was the first breeze he felt in his life. Being around two strong feminine figures since he knew when was very suffocating, not to mention the pressure and expectation place on him.
Not that he hated them for it, far from it really, it was just, he needed space. Room for himself. Being himself without anyone to reproach and judge him right or wrong. Room for being himself.
During the Year of Bet, the weather was considerably…weird.
Too volatile for his usually calm weather. One day the sun shone so bright he suspected maybe someone had a grudge or something with him, and another rain, rain, would go downpour so heavily he no longer could distinguish anymore between himself and the rain, like the inugami vengeful mother whose daughter murdered and he had lied to her to make her moved on. And the next thing he knew, someone had held an umbrella for him, shielding him, making him realized he was himself, not the rain he wished desperately to be part of. The sensation was weird, but not unpleasant. In fact, it was soothing and, strangely, warm. Not over-excess heat like his childhood which put real sun into shame, but warm of another presence beside him, next to him but unobtrusive.
From that day onward, he really wished the rain would never stop and the umbrella would be there for him. Wished, with deep conviction in his heart and to every deity worshipped, this presence would always stay next to him, even when the sun stopped shining for him. Forever.
But of course, life never went that way.
It was downright stupid to even hope so. Someone he knew once said fate was a cruel mistress who loved to watch others in misery. How he wished to blame all his miseries on fate, to forget the whole ordeal and moved on, dammit! In the end, he had no one to blame except himself. Really, it should have been so obvious since the beginning he meant so little, why bother to hope only to let it shatter like a glass of cup, crushed on cold floor and left behind, abandoned, for its use had long gone expired.
He wondered if it will be how the weather of The End of World looked like.
Vast emptiness with nothing to hold and feel.
It felt so horrible, but again, it was not like he cared at that time for he had decided to stop feeling. If not for the sudden loss of his own personal Sun, he probably no longer remembered what cold felt like.
At that point onward, it had been raining.
The rain was so hard, not even a shred of the strongest and persistent sunlight able to get through, and he preferred to keep it that way. When it was not raining, it was misty. It was a protection, a wall, to separate him from all around him. The thin ice wall was no longer there though; he had discarded those gloves as it started raining, seeing no point in keeping them anymore.
Sighing softly, Subaru leans on his apartment window. It is raining again today, with claps of thunders. The weather forecast on television said this is going to keep raining for a week, and considering his mood, yes, he is pretty sure it is going to happen as the weathercast said.
He felt horrible in comparing his mood with weather; it is not like weather is existed for him. But, since he is a horrible person, yes he is, no matter what others people said he is in fact a horrible person, so he is permitted to think horrible thought. At least, he never did horrible thing. …Or did he?
Contemplating his somewhat jumbled thought and not making sense mind, he has to resigned and agreed that three days straight without sleep and minimal amount of food is really affecting him more than he would like to admit. He wonders how he had survived being alive. Looking down, he found his answer. Really, someone out there should make a paper about how human able to live with cigarette only; he is one of best example, if not the only one.
It has been a month since the last time Seishirou-san visited him, or at least if the man was really real and not one of illusions his creative brain created. Funny, somehow his brain is more active when he is not lucid. Maybe if he tried to drink some sake…
And he immediately shakes off the idea. Right, the last time he tried to properly drink alcoholic beverage, which was a year ago, he ended up so wasted and could not find his way home from some foreign hotel's bar. He would definitely spend his night in the park or cold alley, if not for someone kind enough to escort him home.
Kind.
His mind made an abrupt pause.
…
Riiight. This 'someone' is not a person should be called as kind. Far from it actually. Considering what happened afterward when they reached his apartment- STOP. RIGHT. THERE. Shaking his head violently to dissolve images so vividly emerge from his deep-buried mind, it is no wonder he sees stars soon. Really, he does not need any embarrassing reminder of his incapability in front of him. Especially in front of him.
Silently berating himself, Subaru is sure politeness is the only reason why he never laughed on him, regarding that event that's it. The only reaction he showed was a small amused smile.
Subaru lifts up his hand to drag another notice smoke into his lungs when he realizes it has only its end left. He curses softly when notices his cigarette pack is empty. Wondering how much his life is suck, he decides to stand and go to restock his ransom.
Taking his trademark white long coat from rack, Subaru opens his apartment door and leaves without locking it. Nothing inside is worthy enough to steal anyway. If some burglars decided to pay him a visit, well just said it's not their day.
After wearing his coat, he walks on hallway slowly since walking made him feels sluggish. It seemed days spent sitting is making his condition worse. He walks down on stairs carefully, not wanting to trip and ended up on hospital again. White walls almost drive him insane more than him. Almost is the keyword here.
Reaching the pedestrian street, he is about to turn left at vending machine when someone, or something to be precise, caught his attention.
A girl in short, boots and hat hops around street lamps trying to catch flying goldfishes.
Though he has seen more than once girls wore those kinds of outfit before, even in cold night like this, he is sure this girl is not human, considering how she hops around, and those goldfishes… Flying goldfishes… Why-?
Not paying any attention on his surrounding, he missed step on something and made him lost balance. His head made a nice greeting on street pavement as he hears his skull crack. And after that, it's all black.
A/N: A review from who read this would be much appreciated.
Urgently needed: Currently searching a beta-reader to help improving the quality of writing. Anyone who is interested, or know who will be interested, please contact me soon for the help is really needed. It is preferable someone who is familiar with CLAMP works and took no offense with male-male relationship. And it is even better if s/he could write Indonesia since that's my native language.