Disclaimer: I sadly do not own twilight or any related books (as much as I may wish I did) I own nothing except for my own thoughts, and my extreme love for Edward J
A/N: I wrote this right after I read twilight, so I know some of it has happened in the other books, but I added that in after I read new moon and eclipse, (those were just as good as twilight. )
I lay there in the darkness, contemplating what Edward had said to me, 'He wanted me to live my life, like he couldn't…' then my thoughts trailed off. The words had been dripping with sarcasm. But that was covering up something more, disappointment. I knew that Edward was near by, for all I knew he was right outside my window. And suddenly I was ecstatic that he couldn't hear my thoughts. I was so happy that I forgot which was a mistake.
"Why can't you get it that I want to be with you, spend eternity with you. And 3 days of pain plus my mortal life, that's nothing. You make up for that with every minute I spend with you." I mistakenly whispered aloud. Regret spread onto my face, in a flash his pale body was near mine. His face had a look of anger. But not towards me, at himself.
"Bella," he spoke my name in his velvety voice, and ran his hands through his already untidy hair. "You know why I don't want to change you." He leaned over so that his lips grazed my earlobe, "But I will always love you," he whispered, his musical voice almost working.
I glanced up into his golden eyes, but quickly looked away. I knew that if I was going to even stand a chance at convincing him to change me, then I shouldn't look into his eyes or they would work their magic on me. "Edward," I pleaded, but as I spoke my voice began to shake. I hurriedly pushed back the tears that had begun to creep into my eyes. "I know you don't want me to be a vampire, but if you don't change me then I will eventually die…and never see you again. Edward I am begging you," tears began to spill over my eyelashes onto the comforter I was sitting on…tears not from sadness, nor from anger. But from desperation, which clearly was show in my voice.
"We aren't having this discussion again, Bella, you are going to stay human!!" Edward had stated this as if it was a fact that was set in stone.
"No, Edward. We are having this discussion. And we are having it NOW!!" I retaliated, not giving up. The next thing I knew Edward had left. So fast and gracefully that I wasn't completely sure he was there in the first place.
When I awoke the next morning, it was drizzling. "Nothing abnormal here in good ol' Forks, Washington." I said with sarcasm.
When I got to my fist class, I handed Edward a letter that I had hastily written that morning. (We now had most of our classes together; it was a wonder what a dazzling personality could get you these days.) When he asked me what the letter was, all I told him was that I wasn't going to talk to him until he read and seriously considered what I had to say. So I quietly sat there the whole class hour while he thought.
On our walk to our second class I asked him what he had to say. And I knew that he wouldn't reply right away so I waited.
Finally he said in a voice only I could hear, "I would never be able to bear you not talking to me…so I am willing to consider changing you," he spoke in the same velvety voice he always did, but it had a hint of hesitation. As soon as he had spoken those words, I jumped into his icy embrace.
That night, as I walked into my room for bed, I saw him sitting on my bed. "Edward!" I loudly whispered, knowing that Charlie was in the next room sleeping.
"Bella, I have decided," he spoke in his velvet voice…but in it I detected a hint of grief.
"And what would that decision be?" I asked quietly fearing what his answer could be.
He hesitated before answering, "I may regret it…but," his voice cracked. He started over in a tone I could barely hear, "I may regret this, but I will…I will change you. I love you, Bella, I love you forever." I could hear the sincerity in his voice, but when I looked into his golden eyes I bound my arms tight around his neck, pressing my tear stained face into his icy chest, as hard as it was, it felt…well, comforting. My sobs rocked me, but his arms held me in his lap. But I had to ask one question…
"When?" was all I could manage to say.
His head dipped toward mine, my heartbeat began to quicken as his lips came closer to my face. And I realized that was all about to change. I then felt the coolness of his lips on my neck, but as soon as it was there I felt it moving upward. They finally settled on my ear as he whispered "Soon, I want to you to enjoy your human form for a while longer." then the ice like feeling slide down from my earlobe down to my own lips. Before he even touched my lips, my heart started to beat frantically. Still, he pressed his lips onto my own. As he did so I fought to keep still, and not get 'carried away,' but I couldn't. I felt myself kiss him deeper. Suddenly he pulled away, leaving me gasping for breath.
"God, Bella, behave please…do you want me to end up killing you?" his voice was thick, but still had a satisfied tone.
"Sorry," I said, remembering how I wouldn't have to worry about kissing much longer. I went to sit on my bed, for now I was beginning to shiver from Edward's cold skin. I pulled my blanket around me. He got up and sat beside me keeping the blanket between us so that I could get warm. I was still breathing quite heavily from our kiss. I turned my head and glanced at the digital clock, and gasped I hadn't realized it was so late.
Edward soon realized what I had been looking at and he suggested that maybe I should get some sleep. I was tired but I didn't want to miss a second with Edward. Slowly I agreed and I asked an obvious question. "Are you going to stay?"
His expression looked confused, then my favorite crooked half smile spread across his face. "What have I told you before?" he said, asking a rhetorical question, then answering it himself. "I will be here as long as you want me." I smiled and laid my head down onto my pillow, he tucked me in and once again pressed his lips onto my forehead as I closed my eyes.
But before I could fall asleep I whispered groggily, "I will always want you."
When I woke up and Edward was still sitting there, I sat up and pulled him to me in an enormous hug. "I will be right back, I have to get ready." I said getting my clothes and heading for the bathroom. He nodded and told me he would see me shortly when he drove me to school.
As I went to the kitchen to eat breakfast, and ate breakfast. But I wasn't concentrated on my cereal. I had much bigger things on my mind. Like Edward, being a vampire, and a lot of other things. As soon as Charlie had left for work, I looked out the window and went to get my bag. By the time I got out the door, Edward had me in his arms. We got in the car and within minutes we reached the school parking lot. We sat in the car for a minute talking because we were the first ones there. As soon as I saw Alice I ran out to meet her. "Oh Alice guess what!!" I shouted as I ran to her.
"What?" she asked. But from her expression I couldn't tell if she was just humoring me or if she really didn't know yet.
I took a deep breath then in a rush I said, "Edward has decided…that he will…change me!!" I said pausing every few words, trying to catch my breath.
"That's great!!" she said and now I could tell by the smug look on her face that she had already known what he was planning to do. Until this point Edward was walking slowly to give us some privacy, but now his arm wrapped around my waist and I grabbed it and pulled him closer. We went off to our first class as Alice went to hers. We chatted about nothing in particular while we walked. During calculus, I was not concentrating on anything except for Edward's amazingly chiseled face. And that was how it went all throughout the day.
Even as he drove me home I stared at him. I suddenly thought to ask him a question. So I did before I could stop myself. "Edward, how long is soon?" I saw him contemplating my question before he was ready to answer, but eventually he sighed.
"Well, I want you to be human for at least another 2 months" he said, trying not to show how much it hurt him to even consider it happening so soon.
"Please, Edward that's to…" I pleaded. But then I saw the look on his face and I stopped before I even finished my sentence. "Sorry, Edward, I just…" I stopped trying to explain. I apologized again, "Sorry."
"Bella, it's just that I want you to have what I didn't. And I want you to be happy." he said turning towards me, as we pulled up to my house.
"Edward I am happy, and I will always be happy…as long as I am with you." I reassured him.
We walked into the house; I knew that Charlie wasn't home yet because I noticed that his cruiser wasn't in the driveway. I began to make dinner with Edward's help, of course. As always, Edward stayed for dinner, but didn't eat anything. Then Charlie went to watch the game in the living room as me and Edward went for a drive.
We drove to a clearing in the woods a few miles away. We got out of the car and we walked.
"Edward where are we going?" I asked in confusion. Then there was silence.
"I told Charlie that we were going to take you on a trip for the summer after all, this is the last week of school, then you will be away in college." he winked at me, for I knew that if I was being taken on a trip then I would be away for an extended period of time…no I wouldn't dare to hope it. "But we will not be going nearly as far away as he thinks…I told him I was taking you to Italy, but we will merely be going to Alaska, and it won't just be you and I, Alice will be coming also because she will be able to help you." Instantaneously, joy flooded into me, as I realized what he meant. I jumped into his arms.
"Edward!" I exclaimed. "Thank you so much! Ooh Edward," I began to sob into his stone like chest. He patted my back lightly, as I sobbed heavily.
"Don't be sad, Bella," he looked at me with worried eyes. And all I could do was stare back up at him, and nod my head furiously.
I finally managed to choke out, "I'm not sad…I am happy."
THAT SUMMER...
It was a warm day, as we drove along a winding path in a desolate area. Where we were going, I did not know. What we were going to do when we got there, I did not know. Why we were doing what we were doing, I did not know.
We pulled up at the mouth of a densely wooded area. I shuddered at the thought of going into those deep dark woods. I knew that I would not be in any danger though because Edward was going to be right next to me.
As we walked slowly, into the shadowy woods, I could feel Edward reassuringly placing his ice cold hand around my waist. I grabbed his arm and pulled myself closer to his marble body. I noticed only then that I was shaking…not from cold, but from something else, so close it was almost tangible…but not quite. We kept walking, deeper and deeper into the trees surrounding us. The trees quickly became much thicker then when we had first began into the woods. When we got so deep in the forest that the sunlight had left us long ago, where the only brightness what coming from Edwards's skin; which was reflecting and light that hit it. He stopped.
He took mm in his arms and gracefully as ever, pulled me up into a deep kiss. I could feel his cold lips forming around mine. I began to get light headed and dizzy, but I didn't want to stop kissing him ever. He pulled back and I wrapped my arms around his waist, and breathed as deeply as humanly possible, to get as much of his intoxicating sweet scent as I could. He bent over so that his mouth was touching my earlobe.
"Is now soon enough for you? Or would you rather do this some other time?" he asked me
reluctantly. Slowly everything clicked. Why we were in this forest so far away from everybody else. Why we were alone. Why it was dark. I slowly thought about his question, 'Was I ready, now that is? Was this the right time? Could this wait? Yes I was ready, yes this was the right time, and this could not wait any longer.' I sucked in another deep breath.
"Yes," I breathed into his shoulder. I was overwhelmed with happiness. Happiness that I was going to be with Edward forever.
His lips moved from my ear down onto my neck. I could feel my heart beating for the last few times. It felt as though it were about to explode. His icy like tongue grazed my neck then I felt a slight pinch. I drew in a huge breath with a loud whooshing sound. And Edward held me saying "Forever my dear Bella, forever."
The pain was horrible. But I remember only shortly after it happened. Then I woke up. Opening my eyes I could see blurry objects, which I soon guessed were people, standing around me. I recognized Edward first. I quickly reached out to him and drew him toward me. He then picked me up and carried me to his room where he set me on his black leather sofa. I grabbed his collar and pulled his face towards mine. When it was close enough so that I could reach my lips to his, I wrapped my arms around his neck as tightly as I could. We kissed for longer then I had ever remembered. Every passing second, thinking that he would pull back breaking through me grasp as easily as ever. But he didn't and I wasn't running out of breath or getting light headed as usual. What was different? What had happened in the past few days? Everything seemed blurry. Finally I was the one to break the kiss.
"What happened in the past few days?" I asked Edward, my breathing heavily, but oddly not out of breath. He just looked into my eyes, his black in color, as though he were looking into my soul. Then he sighed.
"Do you remember anything from the past few days?" he asked me gently. All I could do was nod my head furiously, my eyes still entwined with his. "Bella, you're a vampire now." I stared at him with a look of utter confusion and disbelief. "Yes, Bella, it's true," he crooned in his velvety, musical voice.
"Who…" then I trailed off. But by the look Edward gave me, I knew both that he understood what I was going to say, and the answer. The look of sadness in his eyes told me that he had done it. I stared back at his with a pained expression, wondering how my eyes looked. Were they golden, or red, or was I thirsty like Edward, making them black?
"You're thirsty." I said, it wasn't a question, it was a fact. "Go hint, I will be here when you return, I will always be here when you come back now…" then I added slightly hesitant "Maybe next time I will go with you."
"My thirst is nothing that can't wait, for you my love," Edward said so quietly, that before being changed I wouldn't have even had a chance of hearing him, but now I could hear clearly as ever. I buried my head into his chest and stayed there for what felt like minutes, but the next thing I knew the sun was shining through the glass wall of Edward's bedroom. We looked out at the sun and I watched his skin glitter as I had in the meadow, what seemed like years ago. I lay in his arms remembering that I would never sleep again, and that I would be with my beloved Edward forever. I turned my head upward and gently kissed his lips.
"Forever." I whispered to him softly and closed my eyes as I rested my head against his cold chest.