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Let's get one thing straight before I move into my lengthy tirade of endless sob-stories starring a permanently dateless young woman. I'm a 22 year old bore. Brightest wizard of her age, indeed, but nevertheless- a complete, utter ninny. And constantly the fifth wheel. Before I 'spread my wings' and prepare to take off into life with a new perspective, let's get some things out in the open to avoid major confusion later on. Throughout our strong friendship, Harry and Ron have grown up. They've realized that although we all love each other platonic love is not what makes the world go round, if you get what I mean. Harry has Ginny. Ron has Luna. It's been the same thing for two years now. Love notes and roses, boxes of chocolate and restaurants, hugs and kisses. Just none of them directed towards me. I'm just the donkey tagging along during the shopping of said items...
I know... "I'm attractive." Believe me, Harry and Ron tell me so often enough. But if I'm so bloody attractive why don't I ever get a bloody date?! Why is is that they all have stable, safe, loving relationships whereas I, "attractive" as I am, am forever the fifth wheel, constantly being put up for horrid blind dates and ending up feeling used and worthless. More so than I had before I went on the blind date in the first place, mind you. I vow to change this tonight. This will be the end of Ms. Hermione Boring Goody Shoes Stick-Up-Her-Bum Granger! Tonight, I am determined to be sexy.
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"Come on Hermione, you look absolutely gorgeous!"
Oh wonderful. Just as I was about to go back into my room and rip this God forsaken dress off of me.
"No! I don't want to. I look- erm… Fat!"
The truth is I don't care how I look like in this dress. I feel completely exposed and this is definitely not my normal baggie jumpers and none-revealing trainers.
"Fat!"
Ginny shrieks like a banshee, by the way.
"Oh Ginny, we've tried for years. I'll never go on a date with a normal wizard." I say, with an exaggeratedly defeated voice.
"What about Jake? He had lovely eyes," she responds dreamily.
"NORMAL? Jake who believed picking your nose on a date was normal? Jake -"It's just specks of dirt stuck in my nostrils, darlin', no need to get into a huff"-Jake? That Jake? Oh Ginny… Perfect Harry has blinded you from the true dating monstrosity out there."
"You've dated lovely guys. But please, come out like this, you look gorgeous."
I eye myself critically in the mirror. I guess it doesn't look that bad… It's a new black dress. Cleavage-y, mid-thigh length, slightly off the shoulders.
I'll do it! Yes!
I give myself a final glare in the mirror. I guess I'm off then…
Oh, Merlin. I'm terrified.
-----
We're at a new bar called The Dragon's Haven. Rita Skeeter "simply adores the dark, mysterious atmosphere, its top quality interior, avid customers, and scrumptious cuisine," as mentioned in the Daily Prophet. Sympathy to us mere mortals who have no thought of what the fuck that means. It's the hottest thing lately and truly hard to book. Being friends with Harry Potter does have its advantages, after all.
After impatiently waiting a couple of minutes at the entrance, Ginny and I enter a dark room with, admittedly, a mysterious atmosphere that sends tingles up my spine. This place is amazing. Rita Skeeter wasn't over reacting as usual in that review of hers. I'm thoroughly shocked. It's packed with people in the range of twenty to thirty and everyone looks as if they're enjoying themselves. People are talking in low tones and the atmosphere is quite flirty.
"There's Harry!" I swear Ginny's voice resembles Mrs. Weasley's more and more every day.
Harry and Ron are sitting on high stools around a rounded, shiny black table. They've both ordered really cool looking green drinks with smoke coming out of them. I'm entranced.
"What's that?" I can't help it. I stare at the light green fluid.
"Well hello to you, too, 'Mione." Ron gives me a quick peck on the cheek and I sit down next to him, my eyes still glued on the drink.
A cute blonde waiter approaches and asks me if I want anything. My eyes are still on the drink.
"I'll take one of those," I demand. Ginny orders a Pink Flamingo (don't ask) and then shamelessly tells them not to ask me about my outfit.
…
Ron and Harry question me about my outfit. I scowl at them. Those bastards.
"What about it? There's nothing different about me. Just and old thing I grabbed out of my cupboard."
Liar. "Liar. It's new. I never saw you wear it and I could've sworn I saw it yesterday at Madame Montie's."
I bought it this morning.
"I didn't even buy it from there! Stop accusing me of falsehood! It's old. Shut up and leave me alone. Ooh, here's my drink!"
…
Oh my God. This is absolutely delicious. I couldn't tell you what they were saying but whatever I'm drinking is incredible. It tastes like lime, mint, and kiwi, and I can't get enough of it…
As I'm slurping away at the final drags of my drink, Luna arrives. She looks exquisite in a white mini-skirt and a pink strapless top. I eye her jealously. I really could not pull something like that off.
"Hermione! You look great!"
"Thanks," I smile sheepishly.
"Why dressed like this? Is today a special occasion?" I blush.
"No. She's man-hunting."
Oh my- ! I start choking on my drink. It tastes slightly bitter now.
"Ginny! No, I'm dressed like any other day. Just an old thing I found in my cupboard. Really."
Ron thumps me on the back. It's more of a pat, in Macho World. "Good for you Hermione, it's about time."
Really, he has still not figured out that I'm not 'one of the guys' yet and still does things like thumps me on the back.
And pokes me in the chest. Only when we're arguing, though. He doesn't see the bumps.
While I recover from the beating I glare at Ginny.
"I'm off to the loo."
Drink in hand I move indifferently towards the bathroom.
-----
Really, will they ever grow up? I've got to get out of here. Maybe I'll just find a window and crawl out if it while they're waiting
Things look up after that suggestion and I stand up straighter - my head raised a little higher - and move gracefully, in my opinion, towards the bathroom. While I'm planning my escape, I presume I don't notice the blur of shiny silver hair because the next thing I know I walk straight into IT and fall on my bum, something wet in between my cleavage.
"Shit!" My nostrils flare. The fluid in my breast is that green drink. I don't know what I liked about it in the beginning because all it seems to bring me is bad luck. I hate that bloody green drink!
"Granger, get your ass off the floor. Don't cause a scene. I'm in no mood to witness your dramatic abilities," a voice says coldly.
Granger? That drawl? Where do I know that drawl fr-
"Malfoy!"
He puts his hand on my arm and firmly, but gently, pulls me up. I look at him, glaring. He's smirking at me, seemingly basking in the glow of some hidden triumph only he knows of. I wish I could bloody rip that smirk off his face.
I look down at my beautiful, new dress. That asshole. This really is the final step. I'm leaving. I can't get a date as it is. How will I get a date with a wet dress and a red, seething, sweaty head?
I look up at him, give him a tight, McGonagall worthy smile, and walk straight towards the door.
-----
How could he have come back?
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A/N: Hey! Let's not beat around the bush, here… I am completely obsessed with reviews. I love all my readers, but reviewers- they're just something special:P Yep. Anyway, I posted this story originally on AFF and just wanted to see the response it would get on this site. This is my first fic and isn't great but hopefully I'll get better at writing. Please review and comment. All reviews welcome. Hopefully I'll have readers who want to read my patheticness. -grins-