I looked both ways, and checked to see if anybody was watching- if anybody could see. I should've known better than to do that- no one ever came here anymore. Including me. I had refused to come whenever somebody suggested. Because I didn't want someone to see me the way that I would undoubtedly be in just a few minutes. No one ever came here. I walked slowly through the gate, each step was hesitant and careful. I veered off the main gravel road, and proceeded to the grass. My brand new faux designer black high heels sunk into the earth, tender from the earlier rain, ruining the shoes.
Dammit, I thought angrily. I really liked those shoes. But really, the shoes were on the bottom of my list. I kicked off the stupid waste of money, cursing the stupid rain.
I read the names off every gravestone out of the corner of my eye; each a slap in the face and a punch in the stomach…not that either could really hurt me. Even the names I didn't recognize hurt me, but I knew many of the last names.
It hurt to think of why each name hurt me, affected me as much as it did. This secret cemetery was where all the elders and wolves were buried when they died. The pain was the guilt I felt. Guilt for the fact that I would be willing to take my own life, end up here, much, much sooner than expected. Just when things are getting a little bit better, God twisted fate, and once again ruined my life. Gave me the "gift" of being a werewolf. Yeah, some gift. Thank you very much…Mother Nature! But again, when the fiery depths of Hell figure it's time and come for me, I will end up here too. The first female to ever be buried here. What an honor!
I gasped, as I never failed to do, when I reached the end of the row, the most recent burial. I read my father's name, along with 'beloved husband and father', carved in the polished rock. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. I hadn't been here in so long. I didn't know what to do.
"Daddy?" I whispered, chuckling humorlessly at how childish I sounded. A sudden crack of thunder shocked me. I gasped, and I almost fell. Almost. "I miss you. A lot. Seth and mom do too. It's really hard…it's just not the same without you there." A light drizzle misted the humid air, and I felt three more tears flow. That was when the pain kicked in. Just as it did, my ankles gave out, and I fell to my knees, ruining my favorite flattering black dress with mud-that's not what I could think about, though. I started sobbing and shaking, and I screamed out of pure emotion. The scream was so full of pain, so agonized, so emotional, it only made me cry harder. Had it started raining? I hadn't noticed. My tears were clouding out everything. It was pouring rain, my hair soaked, my dress completely destroyed.
"I need you, Dad. I love you," I whispered. Some of the sounds couldn't escape my mouth, my voice cracking and shaking. A flash of lightning filled the sky, accompanied by a long, ear-splitting bang of thunder. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I dragged myself over, and leaned my bare back against the cold, wet, polished marble, and sat there.
I don't know how long it was, but we stayed like that for a long time, just crying together.