Disclaimer: I do not own Elfen Lied. This is a work of fiction for entertainment only.
The chill of winter bit into her shoulders with kitten's teeth. Nothing so lethal, but it made the morning all the more unbearable for the awakening. Sitting up, the empty, cool air pressing into her back, she realized with sorrow she was not where she was supposed to be. It was a place forbidden to her, the sinner. She was trespassing in a realm meant for the one who reeked of sweetness and light.
Maple Inn was idyllic in its location. Comfortably nestled in the trees, not quite in the way of the regular beaten path, it was a perfect nest to return to after flittering about in the rest of the world. The people within were kind, a family only a little different from the sorts you'd see on TV. A father and mother, of sorts, three sisters of a kind; only their ages made them overfill the mold. Everyone did their chores, the eldest wasn't quite a student but at least kept up with the lessons the "parents" were taught fairly well, the middle child flourished in her own studies, and the youngest...well, Nana tried. It's common for the baby to not know where to belong at first. It would just take a little longer for her to get her wings.
And she watched from afar.
Beneath a veil of sleep, she watched in envy as the woman bathed in sunlight led the life she wanted. Everyone loved her. She was a perfect daughter, a perfect sister, kind to everyone, a friend to everything that pulsed with life, and hating no man on this green Earth. A radiant woman, the kind you'd write home to Mother about, and she would only grow more brilliant as she fully entered the mature world, only a year or two more from now, and figured out which path she'd like to dedicate her life toward. If she hadn't been born so obviously inhuman, she would be like her. She too would live every day with the sun on her face, kind words hanging about her as a shawl, and the smiles of a family to welcome her home. A place for her in the sun; what a wonderful dream! But a dream is merely a dream, and every time she awoke, those dreams fell into the ether.
She could only watch from miles and miles away, lost in a fog of sleep so thick it sometimes felt like she was drowning. The sun was gone. It peeked upon her only twice, just long enough to let her face warm up for a moment, then it was gone. Gone, and all that remained for her was the cold loneliness. Well, no, perhaps it wasn't lonely. There was that device of her own creation, was there not? The voice of poisonous reason, whispering a suggestion at every waking moment, hanging back and pointing in a direction. Whether she followed its advice or not, whether her will was strong enough to turn away the fruit or weak enough for her to snatch it up the second the thought entered her mind, she was always back to that void again in the end. She could tell it yes, she could tell it no; whatever she chose, the end was always the same. Whether she steeled herself and did what she knew was right, or pretended she had no choice to make it easier on herself, all led down the same road.
Friendship, companionship, camaraderie; no matter how hard she grasped for them, they eluded her fingers. They slipped away in wisps of smoke, gone before she could even check her hands to see if she caught anything at all. The treasured First Friend, who saved her from despair, the wonderful Second Friend, who opened her heart, and the dearest Third Friend, the benevolent princess she failed to save...their lives were ruined the moment they turned to smile at her. It was obvious now, that's what it was. Friendship was sweet and fleeting when given to her, but when she gave it back, it was the greatest "Gift" of all. The most potent, swiftest, malicious of all, it seeped into every breathing thing she touched and soiled it, ruined it, rotted it away to nothing. It threw the First into fatal danger, the snuffing out of a life so innocent. It ripped away the beloved ones for the Second. She misunderstood him, overreacted to a child's white lie, and it ruined everything about him from the ground up. It stole the budding life of the Third, directed a bullet toward her sweet heart and ceased its beating. That villainous friendship, given back in such honest earnestness, was little better than a parasite. It was clear, clear as day, clear as the tears dripping down her chin. What good could a monster breathing such venom bring to the world? What could she bring to another living thing aside from despair? Misery loves company, and even when she tried to share something other than misery, it ended up as the only gift she could give. Poisonous gifts, tainting even a Beast's attempt at humanity.
The world wasn't hers. It was never meant to be. The daft one would be her face in regards to the world. Nyuu would make all the friends and loved ones she so desperately wanted. She would live the life she never had. Meanwhile, her true self, the one with wings stained pitch black from the noxious smokey tendrils of her sins. She brought it upon herself, she whispered, leaning back down under the blanket. It was her punishment. She would forever remain in the dark, where she couldn't poison anyone else with her love. It was better that way, it could only be that way.
As Nyuu's eyes opened, she was baffled to feel wetness on her cheeks. Was it a bad dream? Better then that she remembered nothing about it.
She would go on about her day as normal. Nothing changed, everything was just as it was supposed to be. And she, the true self, the one they called Lucy, was fine with that. She'd grown to believe she could be satisfied with that. She could live with hiding away, kept company only by her guilt and that machination of her own hatred.
While the Beauty faced the world, Lucy was seen only by God. For, as the fairytales ask, who could ever learn to love a Beast?