Disclaimer: I don't own it, janet does and I make no money.

COMMENCE

By Calliope

Is it ever enough?

I cannot tell you how many times that question has been asked of me. 'You have two men Stephanie…isn't that enough for you'?

The answer should be simple….yes. Yes, it should be enough. For any hot blooded woman such as me, two should be more than adequate to meet my needs.

But, it isn't and I don't know if it ever will be.

You see, the two men in my life meet different needs. Perhaps if I could mesh the two men into one, then I would have the perfect man. The perfect man that could meet all my needs and I wouldn't have to deal with any of the negative aspects of my growing relationship with both of them.

How to explain…how do I explain to anyone in a way they would understand exactly what my dilemma is…. But they don't, no one understands anything of my life.

Perhaps it is because my life wasn't meant to form into the mold of this community or perhaps it is because deep inside, I am a needy slut who wants more.

I want it all. I refuse to settle and that seems to be exactly what I have been doing for the past several years. I have been settling. I've been living day to day for both men and trying to survive on whatever scraps of menial attention that they deem to throw my way. And me? Well, I'm at fault for snapping up those scraps and saying, 'Hell yeah!'

Well, no more. Do you hear me? No more scraps people! I am done…DONE.

I am forgetting my history with one man and my chemistry with the other. I'm wiping it out and starting all over with a clean slate. It's going to be all about ME for a change and we'll see exactly what the two men in my life think of that.

The two hot hunks are no longer going to be holding the reins of the Stephanie Plum ride. Nope, I am going to be handling both reins and riding exactly what I think I deserve and I have news for those hot men. If they think they are going to get on for an eight second 'hurrah', then they have another thing coming.

All individuals hoping for eight seconds of glory need not apply because I'm a new woman. I don't want the eight seconds or even the eight minutes and at the moment, eight years isn't likely either.

So, what do I want? That's a fabulous question and if I knew the answer, well I wouldn't be in the situation I am currently in.

And how do I break it to BOTH men that they no longer do it for me. I don't want the fucking history of childhood, I'm tired of the tandem boredom of being reminded that 'Yes, Morelli, you were my first'…fucking get over it and move on.

I'm no longer interested in my first. I'm interested in my last. The one and only.

And those of you rooting for Ranger….don't get too excited either. I don't want the chemistry anymore. Who the hell cares that we have enough chemistry to spark and light up the entire east coast for two solid weeks? Nope, those stolen kisses and touches in the alley aren't enough any more. So we have chemistry? Who the fuck cares? He needs to get over it and move on as well.

Because I have. Forget the epiphanies…this isn't one of those all wonderful tell-tell realizations that I woke up one morning and realized, 'YES! He's the one for me! Call Oprah so we can announce it to the world.'

Nope, no epiphanies either.

It was simple. I decided not only did I want a man, but that I deserved a man and I was going to have him…only, he's going to be my choice with no outside influences sticking their damn noses into the equation.

Hell no, this is all on me…so do me a favor and pass it on through the 'Burg Grapevine. Might want to go ahead and call my mother the Drunk as well, cause I'm certain she won't take this well either. And when she asks me her signature, 'Why me?" I have the perfect answer for her.

She bloody deserves it. You can only push someone so far before they snap and rebel. Well, my mother can discover the new me with everyone else.

Stephanie Michelle Plum is going to rebel and I'm going to do it in style by blazing forth and leaving a path in my wake.

No, I don't mean I'm going to fuck every Tom, Dick, and Harry in my wake. Puhleeze! I have more class than that and I can tell you if I was going to leave that kind of path, they'd certainly have more interesting names than Tom, Dick, and Harry. Give a girl a little bit of credit.

And while my mother drives herself into a stupor and learns to iron the car seats, I'm going hunting.

Yes, I am going to catch myself a man…the man.

I should probably include that said man isn't going to be dreaming of pot roasts unless he fantasizes about the damn things being dry enough to break off a tooth and sitting in a burnt mess on the table. The perfect man also doesn't dream of ankle biters…if he gets an inkling for that, we can take care of any urges by visiting the local petting zoo and letting the fucking goats take a few swipes at his legs.

Cause this new Stephanie Plum is tired…exhausted from pleasing everyone but her self in pursuit of happiness. I've learned the art of self gratification and it is truly a beautiful thing.

What's wrong with being selfish now and then? Everyone does it; just add me to the ranks for the foreseeable future.

It's going to be all about me.

And I'm going to post a notice in the newspaper as well. The psychos might as well be informed of my plan. They want to blow up my cars? Fabulous. They want to kidnap me? Even better. They just better be prepared for 110 pounds of pissed off woman in their wake. Simply put? I am not a woman to mess with right now.

I'm looking for off the charts sex…I am talking about the stuff of legends. You know the kind that send scorch your panties just thinking about it….that in real life you only read about in smut novels? That's what I'm talking about.

I want monogamy. I want to be hot enough to keep my man satisfied. And that shouldn't be a problem with the panty scorching sex I plan on having.

While several friends have suggested taking eHarmony and other dating sites for a drive…I don't feel that my cause is so hopeless that I have to take it to the World Wide Web to find what I am looking for.

So, I'm full of myself. I've got it…I just need to find the right guy to appreciate it. And sure, I'm not counting on it being an easy task…what is it they say? Nothing worth having is easy? Let me expand on that thought a bit.

I plan on being easy once I find the worth having part of the equation. I'm sure a few of you are laughing at my new plan…that's okay. Laugh it up.

But, I WILL find what I am looking for. Sometimes the impossible is possible with a little magic or in some cases a miracle.

Lucky for me, I don't consider myself a lost cause.

I am a worthy cause and if the two men in my life haven't realized that…well too bad for them.

Because ladies, Stephanie Plum has arrived and the likes of Trenton has never seen a force this size or a will as strong as mine.

I don't exactly have a detailed plan…but you shouldn't expect that. You know me well enough by now to know that I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl and that's exactly what I am going to do.

I'm going to fly by the seat of my pants and hope that my pants are scorched by the time I am done. And what better way to start than with the man who has been trying to get into my pants since he entered my life?

A knock on my door told me he had arrived and I was a little shocked that he used the mortal methods of entering my apartment this time.

I opened the door and let Diesel in…but don't think you know where this story is going. Oh no, I'm not about Diesel loving. Puhleeze…everyone knows he's a love them and leave them type.

But, he has resources I don't have…but I am smart enough to utilize them and that's exactly what I am going to do.

I'm going to meet my match and you haven't seen anything yet.

Shall we say, let the games commence?

Reviews are certainly appreciated…think of them as fuel for more writing.