Beautiful Disaster

Summary: AU to "Stupid, Ugly, Useless, Unrequited Love". No need for a summary if you read said fic before. ENJOY! Andy Valentine/Rick Grimes, Walking Dead AU

Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead, nor will I ever. However, Andy is mine and only mine.

Note: Before we begin the story, please go read Stupid, Ugly, Useless, Unrequited Love! Nothing in this story will make sense without it! Also, this is an AU to an AU! I just want to let you all know this before we begin. Enjoy~

~x~

Beautiful Disaster

Part 1

~Age Thirty-Two~

"Rick!"

Andy's life had become almost perfect. The Governor had been killed (or so they thought), Judith had everything a baby could really need, Carl was safe, and the prison was full of life…. It all ended one day though…

Her whole life flashed before her eyes as she began to move at a speed she never thought she could. She saw herself as that small helpless six-year-old Rick had helped that day. The Governor had returned, bringing forth an army. Rick could end up hurt; Andy couldn't let it happen.

"ANDY!"

It was Carl but it fell onto deaf ears. Andy didn't stop running when the first shot rang out.

Andy could hear it going through the air but she didn't care, she kept going and blocked Rick and another shot rang out. Everything was going too fast for Andy to figure out what had happened. All she knew was that she had blocked her Rick from a shot, and it hit her in the shoulder— then another shot rang through the air.

"ANDY!" The scream was heartbreaking, and Andy knew she could do nothing. Blood began to rush out from her wound and her eyes were closed tightly. She knew Carl would be crying— she had been his only real mother figure in his life. "AUNTIE ANDY!"

She hadn't heard that name in a long time. Guns went a blazing; Rick was on his knees, as Andy fell. She fell into his arms, blood covering her side. Their eyes locked, and she smiled weakly. "Hi Germs…long time no see," she joked weakly. She pulled out her gun and turned to aim. Andy could not let her home be taken and couldn't risk losing her loved ones.

Judith….Carl….Rick…

The whole group had become her family. Even though Judith and Carl were technically not hers, she considered them her babies. And Rick, god, he wasn't even hers. She shot her gun towards the Governor's people, without even thinking. She had to protect her babies.

Rick and Andy watched with wide eyes as the tank went over the fence. "Rick we gotta get out of here!" Andy said, looking widely over at her best friend. "We should grab the kids and get out of here!"

She knew he would be iffy to leave— this was the last place Lori had been and it had been safe. She knew it was special. But the mother inside of her that had only come out once Carl was born, wouldn't allow Rick to risk the kids. Andy turned and shot at the Governor again and then looked wildly at her friend.

"RICK!"

"Andy we have to fight!" Rick said feverishly.

Andy rolled her eyes and panted slightly, "And risk the kids? NO WAY! We gotta leave right now or so help me—"

The Governor had somehow gotten inside, and had grabbed onto Andy, pulling her close, beginning to beat her up thinking she was Rick. Andy held back her cries.

When the Governor realized Andy wasn't Rick, Rick had tackled him to the ground. Andy panted, looking fearful, but not for herself— for her family and the group. She took aim, feeling her heart race and she shot after catching Rick's eye. He had rolled out of the way and the Governor went down.

Andy knew she had killed a few times, but only because they had threatened her family. She would never take a life if she could get around it. Rick looked at her and she helped him up. They both understood without much speaking, that they had to get out of there.

The bullets were flying everywhere, and Andy looked nervous. She grabbed onto his hand— Rick rarely let her touch him but that was because he was still sore from Lori. And he felt bad for taking Andy's virginity in such a harsh way. However, that was in the past and the present wasn't so forgiving. The pair hurried up towards where they knew Carl was.

Michonne was busy taking out the Governor's guys from behind the line, as it were. And Andy couldn't help but feel terrible. The Governor had hurt Michonne and the woman had been close to the death of Hershel Greene. Andy hurried her little bum up to the prison gates, heart racing and shoulder bleeding— Rick beside her, shooting his gun once in awhile as Andy followed suit.

The pair was clearly well paired, and could easily be told as a working team. Andy watched Rick's back as he watched hers. "Kinda like our first grade, huh?" Andy mused, half joking.

Rick rolled his eyes, "Really, Andy? At a time like this?" he asked.

She huffed as she shot her gun again. "If we have to die, I'd like to die with a smile on my face!"

"We aren't going to die today!" Rick urged. The pair hurried up towards the gates, hearing the cries of the group. Beth was losing it crying and Maggie was no better.

They were losing much more than they had bargained for.

Andy found Carl and hugged him, shielding him from gun shots and took aim again, looking much like a mother. "Andy you're bleeding!" Carl looked worried.

"I'm fine; we gotta get out of here. Where's Judith?" Andy looked around for the baby. Rick was breathing heavily, but not letting his guard down.

"I don't know," Carl looked worried as well and they looked for the baby. They came across a car sit, with a lot of blood. Tears welled in all three's faces. "JUDITH!" Carl cried, looking sad and holding back tears.

Andy's heart broke. The baby had so much to live for. She kept both Rick and Carl from falling. "We gotta get out of here!" She began leading them out and away, the walkers slowly taking over the prison again.

The so called safe heaven was no longer. And it broke Andy's heart.

…

The small group barely stopped for anything, other than small pee breaks, collecting food from nearby stores or resting. Andy was having a hard time keeping her eyes open but fought against it. She had lost her world again to the dead, but somehow, she was still beside her best friend. Carl looked like stone, holding back his fears and pain.

"Carl…" Andy whispered, standing beside him. Carl looked away, and she couldn't help the look like she had been slapped. Rick was silent, limping and his face was bruising but it was better than what it could be. Andy fell silent as well, just walking. "I know you two don't want to talk, but we should find food— a place to sleep."

"What's the point?"

Both adults turned to look at the boy. Carl had stopped walking looking at them finally. "What?" Rick questioned.

"What's the point?" Carl repeated, "What's the point in any of this? Judith is dead! So is mom! The group is good as dead and we're the only ones! So what's the point!?"

Andy looked at Carl before stepping forward, opening her arms. "The point is…is if we don't try, we're going to die as well. And I want to act as if this isn't happening. But we saw that it doesn't work like that. We got too used to the fact that we were 'safe' inside the fences. It was our downfall. Don't you see Carl? I know I'm barely making any sense and I know it's stupid…But if we don't keep trying, the people who died for us, would have died in vain. T-Dog, Judith, Hershel, Lori… everyone who is dead would have died for nothing."

Carl stared. Before he fell into her arms, and cried. And Andy; she held onto him and closed her eyes. Carl was much like the little child she used to get excited to see on her holiday. She kissed his forehead and Carl nuzzled further into her. She felt her own tears well in his eyes and she held him close to her. Finally, Carl calmed down well enough before together, the small group of three went in search of something more.

….

They decided to raid a possible shop which looked like a Mexican restaurant. Carl got ready to go inside, Andy beside him, holding her gun up, even if it could attract walkers if it was used.

"Stay outside, keep watch." Rick ordered Carl, who looked offended.

"Keep watch? No way! We've done this hundreds of times and you can barely stand! I'm not letting you go in alone!" Carl said frowning.

Andy sighed as she shook her head. "He's right Rick, if anything you should stand watch… but we have to do this together. We're all we got right now." Andy said standing between the father and son.

Carl nodded looking slightly smug but Rick, did not look impressed. Andy understood, truly. She didn't want Carl in there either, but she knew they needed him.

"Let's go," Rick grumbled as he placed his hand on the door. The door opened— Rick went in first, followed by Carl and Andy held up the back. Rick checked the kitchen, looking ready to murder anything well Carl went towards this other door. Andy checked the room they were in before following Carl. "Kitchen's cleared," said Rick.

Andy looked in the room, along with Carl and Rick followed inside after them, as quickly as he could. They heard growling.

A walker appeared, his mouth caving in on itself, his skin rotten. Andy shivered from the sight and the smell. Dear lord, you'd never get used to it, she decided. She took out her knife, knowing she would have to kill it.

"We shouldn't risk the noise or waste the bullets," She told Rick and Carl. They agreed, even though Rick picked up an axe.

Rick took down the wall, Andy at the ready. The walker came through growling and what not, causing Andy to jump into action. She pushed her knife through the skull, making the walker freeze and then drop after she took her knife out. Rick, who wouldn't take chances then began beating the walker down with his axe. Truly it was dead.

….

On the road, Andy walked beside Rick, knowing Carl needed some "alone time". She sighed as she watched the boy push forward, Rick holding onto what they had found which was some chips, water, salsa, and Andy found some toilet paper. She claimed she found the best, after earning a small chuckle from Carl and a half smile from Rick.

Maybe toilet paper wasn't something they needed, but it was something Andy liked to use. She knew it was awkward, as she watched. She sighed. "Rick…."

"Hey…" He whispered, looking after Carl.

"He needs space, Rick." Andy whispered back.

Rick scowled. So, Andy went up, (half running/jogging) and caught up to Carl. "I think your dad wants to say something, Carl." She said softly.

Carl stopped, and she could tell her baby was mad. Rick explained that he wanted to raid the house, find a place to sleep. They went inside, guns at the ready. Carl went off looking and Andy felt the urge to take him into her arms and protect him, but she knew he needed space. Rick went to look, before calling out, "Carl!"

"What?" Carl asked, sounding annoyed. "I got this!"

Rick gave him a look.

So, because Carl was a teenager or becoming one, he went up to the wall, his gun not drawn anymore and hit the wall, "Hey asshole!" another hit, "Hey shit-face!" another hit, "Hey—"

"Watch your mouth!" Rick ordered.

Andy sighed heavily, shaking her head. "The both of you STOP!" She looked between Carl and Rick. "You two are FAMILY! Be thankful you have each other!"

"Are you kidding me, Andy?" Carl asked, turning to look at her with a dangerous look in his eyes. Rick was standing on the other side of Andy who gave Carl a look.

"You really should watch your language though Carl…a young man—"

She was cut off.

"What does it matter anymore Andy? What does it matter? It isn't like things are EVER going back to normal!" Carl scowled.

Rick stepped forward. "Carl, you should show her respect!"

"You're both stupid, if there was one here— it would have already come out." Carl said frowning.

Andy feeling her heart break turned and left, going to check out the rest of the house and letting Carl cool off.

….

Andy was very silent that night, after helping the guys set up to protect themselves. She wasn't sure how to speak to either. They were both so…so…mad. Besides that, Andy was feeling left out. Carl was doing the door, Rick was moving the sofa. So Andy, she went into the role of setting up beds for them in the living room.

Nobody said anything, they didn't have to. And let's just say, Carl got offended when he learned what Rick was doing.

"It's a tight knot! Shane taught me!" Things fell silent.

Andy couldn't do this anymore. "Both of you STOP IT!" she ordered, looking between them. "We are all we got! So suck it up!" She ordered.

Rick and Carl looked at her with shock.

"I know this isn't what any of us planned. Do you think someone just woke up one morning and was like, 'let's start the zombie apocalypse'? NO! They didn't! But at least we're still alive, that we're still well! You two are FAMILY! At least you're together! The only family I ever had was you guys! Don't you get that? I hate seeing people fight so get comfortable. Rick, if Carl says the door is good— it's good. Carl, if your dad says he just wants to make sure, let him! We'll put the sofa against the door and then block the rest of the house off with the other sofa! GOT ME? Good!"

Andy turned and got the rest of the house blocked off for the most part so they would be safe. After everything was in place, Andy made Rick lay down, Carl eat a few chips along with Rick (both of them were such babies) and then made Carl lay down. Andy was taking first watch.

And so, the somewhat quiet night began…

….

Rick had gone into the bathroom, and was taking off his shirt to begin to try and clean up his wounds. It was dark, and well let's just say Andy ended up following him upstairs. She wanted to talk to him. She missed her best friend. His breathing was terrible.

"Rick…" he turned to look at her with surprise and shock. "Let me help…"

Surprisingly, Andy had found a first aid kit as well in the house, under the parents' bed. She began to work on dressing his wounds, looking uneasily up at him. Rick didn't say anything and she didn't say anything.

It was very quiet as Andy worked. Thankfully, she was a nurse.

…..

It was 1991. Antonia sat under her favorite tree with her best friend beside her. She was humming along softly to some song she had heard when she turned to Rick. "Rick," She said causing the man to turn to her.

"Huh?"

"Do you want kids in your future?" Andy asked.

Rick blinked. "Of course," He chuckled. "Why? Do you?"

Andy nodded. "Yeah….what would you name yours?"

Rick shrugged. "I've always liked Carl."

Andy nodded again and smiled. "I like Haedi. Its super interesting but sweet! Rick if we get to like 30 and we're alone, will you marry me? Then we can have Carl and Haedi together!"

"I'd love that." Rick smiled.

Andy jumped awake, startled by the dream/memory. She looked around before sighing. They had never gotten together and Carl wasn't hers.

Andy never even got to have Haedi. She got up and looked around, before going to use the bathroom in the not so working bathroom, but it was better than a tree, she reminded herself. She was shaken up by the memory and decided to forget about it. Rick had moved on, she reminded herself.

When she got back down, Carl was slowly waking up. Rick was passed out on the couch. She walked over towards Carl. "Wanna go check around for some more food? I know Rick will have a tantrum if he knew but we need more. Wanna go check the other houses with me?" She asked smiling.

Even if she had never gotten over the fact that Carl was mad at her, or that Carl wasn't even hers, she pushed past it. They needed to live in the moment. Carl of course said yes.

They went to have breakfast first— cereal without any milk. Once that was finished, together they set out to check out other houses. Carl left a bowl for Rick to have when he woke up.

After leaving, they checked the houses that were pretty close and found another first aid kit (could never have too many of those); matches; a few water bottles; canned food that was tuna, corn and ham; powdered milk; two powdered hot chocolate mix and three powdered coffee mixes. They returned back to Rick, only to find him still asleep. Carl went to go try and wake him up.

As Carl shouted at Rick to wake up, the pair heard walker growls. Oh God, Andy thought with a rush of fear. She turned to Carl as they got up and went to end the walkers. With the knives Rick had found and the one Andy still had, they killed the two walkers easily and then returned inside.

…..

Andy had found some cards in the house and decided to play with Carl, even though he claimed he didn't want to. Kids would still want something normal to hold onto. It broke her heart when she went to begin lunch when she heard Carl's shouts again. I don't need you! I don't need you to protect me anymore!

She went to him only to find him shouting.

THEY WERE COUNTING ON YOU! YOU WERE THEIR LEADER!

Carl sat at the foot of the couch as Andy stood in the hallway, her mouth hanging open in surprise and hurt.

"You're nothing…" Carl said painfully to the sleeping Rick.

Andy knew that there was a likely chance Rick was… but she couldn't think like that.

"I'd be fine if you died." Carl said before standing up and leaving. Andy knew she should follow him but Carl needed time alone. She sighed as she looked at Rick. He needed protecting, he needed her there.

But Carl, he needed her too. However, she let him go. Clearly, Carl wanted alone time, so Andy let him.

…..

Later that night, when Carl returned, he was in brighter spirits. And he appeared tired, so she let him rest after telling her what had happened. She pulled him into a hug when he explained about the walker. Andy would have slapped him if it wasn't for the grin on his face.

Rick still hadn't moved. And as Carl woke up, Andy sitting on watch by the window, they both noticed Rick's hand twitch.

Andy, being super mom she was most of the time, pulled Carl away. She couldn't risk her baby. The sounds Rick was making sounded like a walker and Carl rushed to get his gun as Andy held up hers. Carl chocked because this was his DAD.

He had had to kill Shane, his mom… now his dad. Andy chocked too. This was her BEST FRIEND. The man she has loved since she was six-years-old.

Rick kept growling and reaching for the two, and Carl broke down crying. "I-I can't!" He cried. "I-I was wrong!"

Andy pulled him into her arms and kept her gun aimed at Rick. "Carl shh baby…" She knew what she had to do.

"Just do it…" Carl whimpered.

Rick-walker lifted his head and went towards him. "NO!" Andy cried when….

"Carl…" it was raspy but it was Rick. "Andy… Don't go o-outside….n-not safe…"

Walkers didn't talk.

Andy broke down and pulled Rick into her arms and cried into his shoulder. Carl joined in, even if it was a little weird, "Don't ever do that again to me!" She sobbed.

"I'm scared…" Carl said softly.

Rick had passed out again and the small group just stayed together, letting Rick lay his head on their laps. At least, he was alive….

…..

Nothing interesting happened again until Michonne returned to them. Andy was fixing up Rick as Carl retold his story of getting food and eating his pudding. The door started being pushed again but no growling. Andy went outside to check what it was and found Michonne. She had returned with Carl's boot which made the kid grin and laugh.

Andy had scolded him but she was smiling. Rick just grinned.

Now, the group of four had at least each other.

…..

Things began to pick up for them, until some guys had come to their house. Michonne and Carl had gone out looking for food well Andy stayed with Rick. They had laid down in the master room and Rick was tired, but he wanted to talk to her. He needed to talk to her.

"Thank you," Rick said finally.

"For what?" Andy questioned.

Rick turned to look at her. "For looking after Carl," He said softly. "He wouldn't have made it, I don't think without you. He may look fine but he's not…"

"I know," Andy said quietly. "I've raised that kid too you know. I'm his godfather, remember?" Rick laughed and Andy joined in. Once they settled, Andy moved so she was snuggled into his side. "Rick…" He looked at the call of his name. "I…" She wanted to kiss him so badly!

He had almost died, for lord's sake! And as if reading her thoughts, Rick began to lead in when they heard voices. And not Michonne's or Carl's! They moved under the bed, looking fearful and nervous. For some reason, Andy had this feeling if these guys knew she was there, they'd rape her. Rick sensed it too.

One came into their room and laid down, ready to go to sleep. It was silent.

Oh god, Andy thought feeling her heart race. Would they hear it? Would they know? I'm going to die! I'm gonna die! Oh god….Rick! I love you! Why did I never tell you that more? Why didn't I push harder for you to be MINE?

Rick was having troubles feeling safe either but he took hold of Andy's hand. She looked fearfully into his eyes and he returned the look.

….

3 hours later, Andy and Rick finally got out of there after a small mini bloodbath.

They rushed to the bathroom, and then had to kill someone (well Rick killed him). After words, they got out of there as fast as they could. Andy's heart was racing. Michonne and Carl were there, and Andy knowing she needed to protect her own, ordered them to get outta there.

They rushed through and left the house behind— thankfully, Andy had some of the stuff they had collected with her under the bed. You could never be too careful!

….

It felt like YEARS before anything nice happened to them. They were walking along the train tracks. Michonne was keeping Carl in a good mood well Andy felt like an outsider. She could never make Carl laugh like that anymore; she was too worried for him.

"Rick…" She started but he ignored her. She stepped and tried again, "Rick."

He ignored her again.

Carl and Michonne share a look.

Andy huffed, "Rick!"

"What?"

"Are we ever going to talk about what happened?" She asked.

"No," Rick said before going back to ignoring her. She glared but followed along.

….

It happened so fast. One minute they had gotten Daryl back (Andy had never been so happy to see the hunter!) and then they were being under attack. Andy had been pulled away from Carl who she had been sleeping in the car with and dragged out. Some other guy took Carl and Andy cried out for him, when some man "claimed her".

It was the leader. "I think I'll keep this one around, feisty and looks good. I mean, look at her tits!"

Andy tried to cover her breasts, glaring. She had never kissed another man or done anything other than with Rick. She was proud of herself for that and she would not let this guy do anything to her.

The men's group all pouted and whined. Andy frowned as she was passed over to the old man who had grabby hands. "Let go of me!"

"Do you belong to someone sweetheart? Because I believe not." Said the old man who smirked. Andy looked pleadingly to Rick, because she had no weapon on her (one of the guys took it from her) and she was helpless.

"Stop! NO! RICK!" Andy cried out calling for her Rick, and she could hear Carl crying out. "CARL!" She got slapped across the face.

She glared at the older man who glared back. "You will not be crying out another man's name, sweetheart."

When he went to touch her breast (left one actually), Andy tried to kick him or something. "I said no!"

And then it happened so fast— Rick had gotten the old man away from her (thank heavens!) and he had bitten the guy in the throat like a zombie. Andy grabbed a weapon and went at the man who had Carl. She stabbed him in the neck and freed her baby. Carl rushed into her arms like a young child and she protected her, as she glared at the other men who were trying to stop Rick.

Daryl and Michonne took care of the others well Rick killed the one who had been touching Andy. She had never seen Rick so…so…angry. She stared with wide terrified eyes.

Neither Carl nor Andy could decide what to do, so they collected up their stuff and together, the group left the group who had tried to kill them and rape them.

It was happening way too fast.

….

Andy felt like things were going terribly. She stood off to the side, walking behind the group as her heart raced. They passed a sign for Terminus. She felt deep down, their group who were still alive, would be there— but her gut told her that it was dangerous. Her mother instincts were telling her to keep Carl from it.

"We should go," Rick said gruffly.

"What if it's dangerous?" Andy pointed out, feeling worried about Carl.

Michonne stepped forward, "'Sanctuary for all; community for all. Those who arrive, survive'. I think it sounds like an okay place but it could be like Woodbury." She said.

"Am I the only one who has this feeling that it's trouble?!" snapped Andy. She needed to protect Carl.

Rick frowned. "Andy," Rick said causing the blonde to scowl at him. "It could be just what we're looking for."

"Or it could be a hell and we'll all die!" Andy was like a mother, yes, and she was sure Rick was getting annoyed with her— and she could see from the corner of her eye the way Carl's eye twitched, but she was a mother at heart and needed to protect her family. She took in a deep breath. "I don't want to sound like a bitch, really— but what do we know about these people?"

The group looked at each other for a moment.

"She's right," Daryl rasped. Andy sent him a small smile for at least taking her side.

Michonne looked at them. "Sure, but what if the rest of the group is there?"

Rick nodded. Carl shifted as he turned to look around, just in case. It was natural to feel uneasy out in the open— and it only added to it when you had almost been raped and walkers were walking around. Huh. Walkers….walking around, get it? Ha!

"So what should we do?" Rick asked the group. Even if he was considered the 'leader', he still went to these people for questions. He trusted them all (well, he trusted Carl and yeah he was a kid but Carl had to do a lot for just a kid).

They all thought. "I think we should bury the weapons, and then go in and check it out." Carl offered.

Rick nodded.

"But what if we need our weapons?" Andy asked, though knew they had all what they considered 'their' weapons. Like Michonne and her sword; Daryl and his crossbow; Rick and his gun; and Carl with his gun. Andy didn't really have her own 'weapon'. She just used what she had at the time and just tried to stay alive. It had worked so far to keep her alive.

"We'll bring the ones that we know keep us alive. Sound good?" Rick said calmly.

Andy felt like she was totally out of place, and she just nodded. At the moment, she was holding a knife (which wouldn't do her much good) and a small hand gun. She was almost out of bullets. The others agreed. She nodded to Rick, to let him know even if he didn't care, that she was okay with it.

If okay meant she would deal with it, then yeah. Of course she was okay with it.

They gathered up their belongings and buried them in a howl, near the back of Terminus. She couldn't help but feel very, very nervous. What would happen? Would they die? Would they find the rest of their group? Or would the people be super nice and let them in?

Andy took in a deep breath as she stepped away from the group to get a small breather. Rick walked over to her, letting Michonne and Carl talk, well Daryl buried their weapons. "Andy?" Rick asked softly.

She turned. "Yes?"

"Are you okay? I understand if you're not, but Carl…he's growing up." Rick rambled.

Andy took his hand and gave him a weak smile. "I don't like thinking that he's growing up. I mean, I watched him grow up into this amazing man and then I remember how he used to call me 'Auntie Andy' and how he would walk around— though more like stumbling— and yell out how much he loved me. How he would marry me someday." She blushed lightly. "I miss the boy that I felt connected to right as soon as I laid eyes on him…" She trailed off.

Rick smiled at her. "How do you think I feel? I'm his father."

She laughed and Rick joined in, and it seemed like it had been such a long time since they had laughed together when in reality, it had only been a few days. "Where did our little Carl go?"

"I don't know, Andy, I don't know…" He admitted.

"Ya'll ready ta go?" Daryl yelled.

"Yeah!" shouted Rick back. He turned to Andy. "Come on, let's get it over with."

And so, they started into the building, to what could be their deaths but what was their fate….

Stay tune for part 2! I hope you enjoyed this, and feel like it's worth a review :) It'd make my day and lately, I've needed a cheering up. Thank you all for taking the time to read it, till next time! (Which should be soon lol)