Not mine and all that disclaimer crap.
Cheeseburgers
You really want a cheeseburger.
You also really want to call Mac.
You're not sure if the two are connected and any connection you do find is probably curtsey of all the hash in your system but either way you really wants them.
That is Mac and the cheeseburger.
Don't misunderstand however if you could only have one, as much as it would be a very Sophie's Choice moment, you probably almost definitely pick her.
But that doesn't mean you don't still want that cheeseburger. Badly.
You're fully aware that the want to call and tell her something (you're not even sure what) probably speaks volumes about the amount of hash cookies in you're system but it still doesn't do anything to make the impulse to call her any less prominent.
Because you really want to call Mackenzie Morgan McHale… and hey if you can still say that tongue twister of a name than then you can't be that wasted, can you?
You want to call her in the same way you want a cheeseburger. You're pretty positive that you could have 20 cheeseburgers and it still wouldn't satisfy your palate. Just like you could have 20 lifetimes with Mac and you'd still be offering to sell your soul for more.
So what's stopping you?
Other than not knowing what to say if she did answer you're currently finding it physically difficult to use your mobile phone. Well, that's not exactly true because if you really wanted to you could probably figure it out (you're a Harvard graduate, you know?) but then you'd have to face the cold hard truth that she may not want to hear what you have to say.
Because you're pretty sure calling the ex-girlfriend that cheated on you with Brian fucking Brenner to tell her that your still in love with her and want to have her babies- or want her to have your babies- look you've had a lot of pot and you're exactly sure how to form sentences- but look you're pretty sure saying anything along those lines is not the way to win her back.
If that's what you want to do because you're not exactly sure.
Well, no that's another lie because when you're high on marijuana you know exactly what you want and that is everything Mac related. Maybe that's where the want for McDonald cheeseburgers comes in? Regardless you still know what you want now but what about when you wake up? Will you still want her then? Because you won't be high forever and if the high disappears and you realize that you can't love her then you're both screwed and probably broken and this time it would be your fault.
We can't have that.
So that's one issue.
Then there is the fact that you haven't forgiven her and that's probably the biggest problem of them all because even being as high as a kite doesn't make you want to punch that douche bag Brenner any less. In fact you're anger at Mac is completely secondary to the hatred you carry for the print journalist who sort of stole her away. Because he not only convinced her to hurt you but he hurt Mac as well and that just totally un-fucking-forgivable. In fact if you really consider it you're not all that sure you hate Mac anymore. You have to admit that she paid her dues.
She saved you.
She saved your show.
She saved your career.
She saved your sanity.
She didn't even ask for anything but occasionally your forgiveness in return. Maybe now, after time to lick your wounds and two heavily does hash cookies, you can finally give it to her.
So you really want to talk to her again. So much so, that you almost forget about the cheeseburger. Maybe if you two work this out you could go out for cheeseburgers. You're not sure if calling her however is really the best way to tackle this problem because you've always gone better when you can see her face and you can't run and on your mobile either of you can just hang up.
You are certain hanging up on Mackenzie is not the way to win her back.
Which you've now decided is what you really want to do.
You text Lonny (see you knew you could use the blackberry if you really needed it) and tell him to pick you up ASAP, even promising you won't bolt from the car this time and he begrudgingly agrees (because it's late and he probably has a date but this about Mac so he can just hurry the fuck up and get here).
Then you arrive at Mac's and you are pretty sure your heart actually stops beating because you're about to go in there and change two lives. If she wants this because if she doesn't and your stuck eating cheeseburgers alone for the rest of your life you don't actually know what you'll do but gin and anti-depressants seem like a good combination.
Before you plan your suicide though you should probably check whether or not Mac wants you.
So you do and the look on her face when she answers the door is something your pretty sure you want a photo of for the mantel.
"Billy, what are you doing here… at…" she checks her watch and your not sure if she's actually checking or signalizing that she wants you to leave. You hope it's the former. "… at 3:37am."
"I wanted to call you." You're not exactly sure where this is going but you are also pretty sure that you should just go with your instincts.
"Really, well I didn't get any missed calls so maybe you should go home and try that again." You don't miss the sarcasm but you also haven't missed that it's 3:37am and having a friendly chat that doesn't involve kissing with Kenzie past 2am is an impossible task. Nobody wakes baby.
"I wanted to call you… but," you know your repeating yourself but hopefully she'll get the message that whatever you're trying to say is important and it works because she closes her reopened mouth. "but I have watched many shows where they leave a voicemail and something happens, sometimes it accidently gets deleted or the person can't understand what the others saying but too often whatever message was on the voicemail doesn't get said. I didn't want that to happen here."
You see the look in her eyes and you can see the mixture of hope, weariness and shock that shine through them. She knows that whatever you say will either make or break her heart. You're really hoping for the former.
"What did you want to happen here?"
You know you have to answer but you take a second to soak this moment in because you think you might be falling back in love or refalling in love or falling more in love or something. You just know whatever this is it's important.
"Look Mac, I'm not just here saying this because I'm high but I've never stopped loving you. You were spectacular tonight." Suddenly you're nervous because this can really mean something really good or something really bad is going to happen and your mind is running a million miles and hour and somehow you come out with "Can you believe we got Obama." Solid.
She starts to laugh and your just as confused because whilst you are slightly more sober you are still high enough that your mind is sluggish and not reading things too well.
"I meant Obama," you add in an attempt to seem sober enough that she trust your idea to be here because if she send you away because she think you are not serious- well the gin idea looks better and better.
"I know," she agrees breaking you away from your thoughts. "How about we go back to the 'I love you' part though?" That seems like a pretty good and scary idea to you too.
"I love you… a lot." It's true and you feel really good saying it like all this weight is being lifted off your shoulders.
"I… love you too." You hear her hesitancy and you stay silent hoping she clear that up for you. "I think the more pressing question here though is Will do you forgive me?"
"Yeah. I think I have for a while now. I just didn't realize because I still hate Brenner with the same amount if not with more passion then I did when I first found out about everything."
"I think we can go on hating Brian for the rest of our lives and not don't care. I'm just thankful you've forgiven me."
"So… if I have forgiven you and I love you and you love me back… can we… you know… start us again?" You really hope the answer is in the affirmative.
"I really am fucking hoping so."
As soon as you hear that you pull her into your arms and you press your lips onto hers and you're pretty sure you can hear angels singing in the background and you only stop when the need for air becomes more physically necessary than her lips.
Suddenly you remember what made you think of Mackenzie in the first place and you decide that if you can have one the you should have the other.
"Hey Mac, want to come get a cheeseburger with me? You know, we can hash out the detail of this us you speak of before we you know, take this to the bedroom."
"Sure Billy."
You grab her arm and take her out the front door and you as you walk to the closest McDonalds you realize that you're also walking to your forever.
The End.
I hope you liked that! It was floating around in my head all week but I wanted to finish my other story first! Well, enjoy and hopefully review and just have a wonderful day/night wherever you are!