Byakuya always says no. For a long time Renji accepts that as his answer and drops the issue for another year or two before asking again. There has always been a spark between them, tension begging to be released, but there always seems to be something that gets in the way, something that Byakuya has to attend to, some disaster that needs to be averted, some scandal to uncover. It takes close to a century before the realisation hits Renji; Byakuya has always said no, not because he is busy, or injured, or tired. He says no because he can't say anything else.
It's only been six months since the last time he asked, but resolutely he goes to Byakuya's chambers after night has fallen. "Captain," He says as he walks over the threshold.
"Hmm? Renji?" Byakuya is reclining on a low futon, his hair unbraided and falling in a sleek river over one shoulder. He has a thin book in his hand, and his dressing gown is falling open at the chest.
"Can I kiss you, Captain?"
"Of course not. My answer is never going to change, Renji."
"You always say the same thing."
"And I mean it. I can't stop you, if it amuses you to ask me year on year, but my answer is always going to be no."
Renji walks closer. Now that he knows Byakuya's secret, he hears the desperate 'yes' behind the no. And he understands how it is; Byakuya's an heir, a Captain, he has responsibilities and duties and none of that leaves any room for what Byakuya himself actually wants.
"What are you doing? I'm busy, please go back to your own quarters."
"No."
Byakuya looks outraged. "I order you to leave."
Renji hesitates for one long second, and then throws caution to the wind and lunges in for a kiss, dropping to his knees beside the futon. Byakuya's lips are soft and he kisses back greedily, and Renji curses himself for not realising before now. "Renji, you must stop," Byakuya gasps. Don't stop, is what Renji hears. If Byakuya really wanted him to stop, he would be in a thousand bleeding pieces by now.
Byakuya's hands tangle in his hair, pulling him closer. "This is madness, please stop," He says softly, his eyes clenched shut with pleasure as Renji licks and sucks at his neck. Renji replies by dragging him onto the floor with him, pushing him down onto his back, and straddling him. "Renji…"
"I'm not stopping. Not now."
They kiss again, fierce and desperate. Byakuya moans softly, and makes a half-hearted attempt to push Renji away. Renji grabs Byakuya's hands and pins them to the floor. "You can tell me 'no' as much as you like, but I'm going to do this whether you like it or not!" It's all a pretence, for the benefit of Byakuya's duty and honour. Renji is forcing him, so he has no choice, even though he does; he could kill Renji in a heartbeat, if he wanted to - if this wasn't just an elaborate act to salve his conscience.
When Renji releases his wrists, Byakuya tugs at his clothes and his hands roam. He is gentle, and Renji can feel his hands shaking. He tries to sweeten his kisses and be gentle in return but he is overwhelmed by the need to nip and bite and grab and possess. He all but tears Byakuya's dressing gown open and takes hold of his shaft.
"Renji-!"
He looks so intoxicatingly beautiful, with his head thrown back, propped up on his elbows, his hair shining in the low light, his chest rising and falling. Renji wastes no time in getting rid of his own clothes and gets down to the urgent business of rubbing his body against Byakuya's, licking his hand for some small lubrication and stroking them both at the same time.
"Please…I need…" Byakuya's voice is hoarse and throaty.
"I know exactly what you need," Renji replies, stroking harder and faster. Byakuya is first to come, jerking and stiffening as his semen splashes Renji's thighs. Soon after, Renji watches his come decorate Byakuya's stomach. They kiss again, soft and sweet, and then Byakuya turns his face away. "Get out of my house, Renji," He says, pulling his dressing gown closed over the evidence. "You presume too much."
Renji's first instinct is to remind Byakuya that he wasn't complaining while it was all happening, but in the end he says nothing. Byakuya needs this thin shield of pretence;. I didn't neglect my duty, I was forced. I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.
He gathers up his clothes and puts them on in silence. Byakuya gets to his feet and watches with his arms folded. "Go." He is looking away, his cheeks pink, his arms folded across his chest like a shield. Renji ignores his terse order and moves closer to kiss him again. Byakuya kisses back tenderly, unfolding his arms, and when Renji goes to pull away he grabs the front of his uniform and holds him where he is. When they break apart, his eyes are half-closed and he looks more relaxed than Renji has seen him in a long time.
"Don't ever do that again, Renji," He says, with a longing look.
Renji leaves without another word, but he understands; he'll come back tomorrow night, just as Byakuya wants him to.