A/N: Well, I'm BACK! Sorry for not writing much over the last year and a half but, let's admit, season 4 didn't give us much room to write something (unless it's AUs). The promos for season 5 gave me this idea but I had to wait until I had seen the premiere before writing it. If you haven't watched it yet, be warned: MAJOR SPOILERS INSIDE! If you're lucky and that you live in Canada or that you're already seen the episode, just have fun! And don't forget to comment!
Oh, and also, bare with me. I haven't written anything in english in a very long time! There might be some spelling and grammar mistakes. Don't worry, though. I'll work on it. :)
WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON PREMIERE!
"You did what?"
Camille stared at her friend, bewildered.
"You heard me."
"You told Dr. Brennan that you were in love with her?"
Booth nodded, his eyes staring off into space. He could feel Cam's eyes on him, her gaze burning holes into his skin. He couldn't bare to look at her. With his reunion with his partner and his first days back on the job, he felt tired, overwhelmed and, more importantly, confused.
What had he done? He had told his partner of five years, the only woman in his life he knew to be absolutely terrified of trusting and truly loving someone, that he was in love with her. And, more importantly, he had taken it back like a coward.
"How did she take it?"
Booth downed his drink.
"I took it back," he mumbled in reply, looking down at the now empty glass in his hands.
"I'm sorry?"
"I took it back," he replied a little louder, his jaw clenched.
Camille chuckled in disbelief.
"You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not."
His fingers held a firm grip on his glass, his knuckles turning white. The expression on Brennan's face as he had made his declaration flashed before his eyes. She had almost looked hurt and... disappointed. It didn't make sense.
"Why did you take it back?"
"I freaked out, okay? I saw her face and I freaked out."
Booth sighed, frustrated. It didn't used to be like that. He didn't used to be like that.
He'd used to be so sure of himself, so confident, feeling as though nothing go wrong in his life. That, whatever happened, it would all work out positively in the end. Then he'd learned about the tumor, the surgery. He had felt so nervous, so... mortal, for the first time in long while. She had been there, his partner, his Bones. She had never left his side, just like he felt he had been doing for her all along.
And he had woken from his coma, feeling confused by what he had dreamed about. As he looked at his partner's face, the tears threatening to fall from her eyes, he'd been more than confused. Who was she? His wife? His partner? A stranger?
Despite what Avalon had told him, he felt as though he had lost something. Or, at least, something inside of him had changed. And, in spite of what Sweets had told him, it had nothing to do with a pink area of his brain being lighted. A part of him had melted away. He could feel it. He just didn't know yet which part had walked out on him.
"I just told you to be sure of your feelings towards her. I never meant to freak you out. I was just being your friend, Seeley."
Camille's voice brought him back to reality. He turned towards her and forced a tiny smile.
"It's not you," he replied.
His fingers toyed with a napkin.
"It's not only you. Sweets also said something to me. I... I just couldn't argue with him. I mean, what if he's right?"
Cam frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"He showed me those scan images, the ones that were taken at the hospital before and after my surgery. They showed glowy spots in my brain that are supposed to represent love or something. He said they weren't glowing before my operation and now they are. He thinks the dream I had triggered those areas and made them light up."
Cam scoffed.
"Well, no offence to Sweets, but he's still a kid. What does he know about love?"
Booth chuckled.
"Yeah."
Silence immediately followed. Booth began shredding the napkin into small pieces, his mind wondering. There was also Avalon. She's said some things, things that made some sense. Too much sense for something as illogical as tarot cards readings. Was he really settling for second best? If he hadn't taken back his words, would something greater have come out of it? Knowing his partner, she probably just would have taken the first flight out to Guatemala or Peru or something.
"Avalon also said something..."
This time, Cam rolled her eyes.
"And you believe her?"
"Well, she got everything else right. Why not that?"
"Because she doesn't know you or Dr. Brennan. And try maybe because she's a psychic and that you and I both know there is nothing scientific about tarot cards readings."
"She guessed Brennan was pregnant in my dream, with my baby."
"Wild guess."
"She told Bones that I was dazzled by her."
"Wi... how do you know that?"
"Angela told me," Booth replied, simply.
"Well, are you?"
Booth shrugged.
"I don't know," he replied, with a sigh. "I mean, she is beautiful, and sweet, and smart. But..."
He let out another, longer, sigh.
"Man, this is so messed up."
Reaching over to her friend, Cam squeezed his hand sympathetically.
"Well, Seeley, I already told you my advice."
"I know."
He smiled sadly at her before removing his hand from under hers.
"Come on," Cam added, getting to her feet. "You should go home and get some rest."
Booth nodded and followed her out of the bar. Giving his friend a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, he began walking away towards his car.
He felt lightheaded, a feeling that had nothing to do with the drinks he'd just had. So much things had changed in the last couple of weeks. It would have made anyone feel lightheaded, right?
Unlocking the SUV door, Booth sat down at the wheel. His cellphone laid in the cup holder. Slowly, he reached for the small phone and flipped it open. His fingers lingered over the speed dial button that would dial her number. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before pressing it.
Her voice sounded in his ear quickly.
"Brennan."
"Hey, Bones. It's me. Do you... do you want to meet for breakfast tomorrow?"