I've been quite eager to do a story with Regis and Noctis for a long while now. Familial duos have always been prime comedy real estate for me. This story follows no single plotline and the events of the game are either intentionally altered or serve no major importance. It should also go without saying that personalities have also been altered.

But enough of the boring stuff. Sit back, relax, and hopefully you'll leave with a smile.

We're All Mad Here

Despite the thousands of employees who worked within the Citadel, the library located on the seventeenth floor was usually rather silent. Many of the employees used the massive historical library located on the third floor as it was closer to their work stations; beyond the twentieth floor, the Citadel was used for living quarters. Spending all day in a library for one's job, few cared to venture into one on their time off.

And so was such a day when Noctis chose to use the room for some research assigned to him by Ignis. His advisor assured him it would be in his best interest to not delay learning the complexities of ruling a country (as if Noctis really needed to be told this) and had assigned for him the task of "discovering" the greatest achievements accomplished by his predecessors. He browsed the bookshelves for a time until he found a book that of course was bound in dusty brown leather and was inscribed Our Founding Fathers. Good enough.

Sitting down at a table, he instantly went to the table of contents. He was just beginning to jot down the page numbers that looked to be the most helpful when he felt the floor give a shake, the sign that someone had slammed a door rather hard below him. Shaking his head, he again put pen to paper but then there was another boom from below.

We're under attack. Mouth going dry, he strode quickly to the door. He didn't even get to open it before something translucent flashed through the solid surface, through him, and into the room. The air was warm but the suddenness of the movement chilled him. Quickly he spun to face his target.

"Noctis, hide me!" King Regis pleaded, the blue glowing of a warp fading as he solidified. The king held his cane, but seemed to be having a good day as he wasn't leaning heavily on it. However, his brow was flushed and his green eyes darted everywhere before locking back on his son. "They want me to go to a meeting!"

Oh no. No, no, no. His dad was having one of those moments, a regression both adult and childlike at the same time. Many thought his father was utterly mad. Some thought that losing his own father at a young age had unhinged him. But Noctis and a select few knew the truth: His father just had his odd occasions. It ran in the Caelum lineage. Noctis had his own quirks that only those closest to him knew about.

Regardless, Noctis didn't relish these instances and breathed a huge sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. "You have to go, Dad. Meetings are usually important."

"I hear your bullcrap and I raise you twenty," Regis replied, becoming adult again.

Noctis smiled, caught. Yeah, most meetings he'd sat in on tended to be rather humdrum. "What's this one for?"

The king literally rolled his eyes and groaned. "Economics."

The smile fell from Noct's face. "Dad. That's kinda important. Actually, it's really important. You can't just snooze on economics. What about everyone outside Insom—"

"They're coming!" Regis warned and in another flash, he was gone. Following the ghostly trail, he saw his father wedged rather impressively between a support beam and the roof just over the table he'd been working at. The king put a finger to his lips, urging for his cooperation.

Just then, the library door burst open and a crowd of people nearly bowled Noctis over. Realizing who they'd crashed into, the leader, Clarus Amicitia, reached out and steadied the prince. "Sorry, Your Highness, didn't know you were in here. Wait, why are you in here? You've finished school and I thought you hated studying."

Of course the man would know this. Noctis had complained about it enough to Ignis who would've told Gladio who would've told his father, perhaps during the time he and his Shield didn't exactly get along. He gave an agreeable nod to the man's question and said, "Ignis assigned some homework for me, to research the past kings of Lucis."

Like a tour group examining an exhibit, the crowd—which was made up of both the Council and several Kingsglaives—peered around him and saw the open tome with the paper and pen and gave their own impressive nods. He even heard one woman comment, "Why can't His Majesty be more like his son?"

Noctis said nothing.

Turning back to him with his piercing blue eyes, Clarus asked bluntly, "Have you seen your father? There's an urgent matter he needs to attend to."

The prince immediately adopted what he called his "chocobo face". His eyes went confused and uncertain and he cocked his head to the side in a perfect imitation of the bird. "No, I've not seen him…did something happen? Is everything okay?"

His father's Shield shook his head bitterly. "He was to attend a meeting nearly an hour ago but bolted the instant I came to get him! If we're unable to locate him, we'll have to get the next in command, which would be you—"

"He's up there!" Noctis instantly blurted, pointing to the roof.

"Oh, you disappointment of my loins!" Regis hissed from the rafters and was about to warp away when Clarus quickly held up his wrist and spoke into a watch.

"Jam it."

It was as though someone had turned off a light switch to Noctis' energy. He felt tired and groggy, the way he would if he'd spent the majority of the day training with his powers. Those days would leave him too weak to form even a basic Fire spell. He wobbled where he stood but Clarus caught him, even though the Shield was also feeling the effects.

"Sorry about that, we learned of a jamming mechanism for the Crystal but we didn't want to use it since it affects everyone who uses its powers." He cast a look at the Glaives and Noctis followed him to see that many had now taken seats in the surrounding library chairs, looking winded. Several had instantly fallen asleep.

"I hope none of the Glaives were practicing warp-strikes," Noctis said weakly.

Clarus paled. "Y-yeah…"

The Council, not having borrowed from the Crystal, was unaffected and began a strategy to dislodge the king from above. Someone called for a ladder and within moments, a large one had been brought and placed just below the king.

"Your Majesty, please come down and stop this foolishness," the Shield said, holding the base of the ladder.

"As king, I hereby decree no more meetings!" Regis declared frantically.

"Overruled!" the Council chorused.

"Well what the hell is the point of being king if I can't do whatever I want?!" he crossed his arms, sitting perfectly balanced on the support beam.

"To lead, Your Majesty," Clarus said with pinched-shut eyes, looking very much like Ignis during his moments of exasperation with Prompto. "One does not lead by hiding." Then he froze, an idea almost literally striking him. Lifting his head slowly, he said in a trance, "A king does not lead by staying in the past. Instead he moves ever forward, always accepting the consequences."

"Not going to work," Regis shut him down, easily recognizing his own words.

A new figure bumped through the door and Noctis was a little surprised to see Gladio there. "Enough chitchat. Dad, want me to get 'em?"

"No, that's quite alright. I'm not that old," Grumbled the father. Clarus began to climb the ladder and Gladio went over to hold it steady. "Let's go, Regis, you've caused enough trouble for the day," he said daringly, one of the few that would speak so frankly to the king. Not that Regis was likely to do anything to anyone else who used his name…like his son, he didn't put much stock in titles.

Still, the man tried to scramble backwards but this resulted in him nearly losing his balance. Clarus snapped forward just in time to grab his hand and pulled him roughly, resulting in the man being slung over his shoulder. Like dragging a cat down from a tree, Clarus descended the ladder with a yowling Regis. He sat the younger man on his feet and dusted him off, pulling his elaborate scarf this way and that, and smoothing out the asymmetrical cape. Having pruned the king in a way that would give Ignis a run for his money, he forcefully pointed at the door and Regis sullenly followed the Council and the recovering Glaives out the room.

Gladio was the last to leave Noctis and chose to impart some final words of wisdom: "You do anything like that and I'll knock you on your ass." His boots stomped down the hallway, following the procession.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Noctis said to the silence. However, after the commotion, he felt even less inclined to do Ignis' homework. With the apple not falling far from the tree, he closed the book and returned it, opting to spend the rest of the day playing King's Knight long distance with Luna.