A Brand, a ninja turtles fanfic

I: A Brand

BY Willowfly

A/N: Here is my first installment of my SAINW oneshot set. There will be many, all spanning different points of time, and all in different POV's. These were written as my way to creatively explain the how and why that developed into the world that is SAINW. So here you are, gentle readers- the beginning of the end.

Don't even take a breath
The air is cut with cyanide
In honor of the New Year

The press gives us cause to celebrate
The air raid sirens
Flood barbed wire skylines
With artificial night,
As we sleep to burn the red
From our bloodless eyes.
Tonight we're all time bombs on fault lines

~Thursday, Jet Black New Year

I never did get humans the way Mike does, the way he can stare at them for hours. They'd smile at him with their white skin and whiter teeth, lookin' back from those commercials that try to sell you ten dollar toothpaste or vacuum cleaners that could suck up bowling balls. But whatever it is, it's useless and it's pointless and it means nothing- just useless shit that humans think they need, but don't.

I hope watching that stuff won't make him that way. But really, the way we live, I don't see how it can.

There's this faded old billboard by one of my favorite spots, up on the roof of an abandoned warehouse on fifty first. This big smilin' tight-assed broad's got herself wrapped around a sweatin' bottle of Bud like it's gunna fuck her right back. Her mouth kinda hangs open, just starin' like she's in the middle of something great and I'm missin' out on everything.

Sometimes, I think that's what humanity's about, just sittin' around, drowning in a heap of pointless, useless crap, just waiting for it all ta fuck them back. But it never does.

Something tells me I should like it, the way her mouth hangs open and her eyes stare back half shut, like those long legs and the curves of that tight ass's gotta do something for me. But it never does. No matter how long I stare at it, it just… doesn't.

Then I get to thinkin' about why I even go there in the first place. It ain't even that great of a view. The city's gone to hell and everybody's as piss-ass broke as the cracks in the roads. The city won't fix them, and the potholes just get wider and wider like they're sayin' things just aren't what they should have been. Slowly, it's gettin' bigger, burnin' a hole in your pocket till everybody's feelin' it, not just the bums that go through the dumpsters and beg for change. The stores are closin' down, and the factories go off to China or some shit. Somewhere better than here. Everything's empty and ruined.

Fifty first was the first ta break, and the gangs took it over just as fast as the stores went empty. I started comin' there after seein' in the news about some stabbings down on the west side. But the reports went quiet after a while, just like they always do. Somebody probably got scared off or killed. You just don't mess with the gangs like that.

When everything went dead by the docks, I took matters inta my own hands, as usual, but something stopped me that night. That billboard, the warehouse and its broken windows, cracked concrete, and the people. It took a lot outta me to see these people… these killers and freaks and street scum weren't the gang- bangers I'd expect them ta be. So I stopped that night, quit freakin' out about whatever I'd psyched myself into to come down here solo and watched.

A lot of guys hang around street corners at night, hoods of their sweatshirts hiding their faces and their hands shoved in their pockets. I know what they're passin' off when they meet each other under the streetlights, or when some kid climbs up their stoop. They're just looking for a fix. Everybody's just lookin' for a goddamn fix. But I don't have the heart to stop them. I've seen them come and go for weeks and I've never moved an inch because…

Well, because.

Because they got their bags of dope you can buy on street corners from guys in sweatshirts, and I got this place. I got the scent of burnin' plastic and car exhaust. I got little kids with dark skin and crooked teeth playin' in the grey snow on Saturdays while their daddies deal or mamas are out there on the sidewalk stoppin' cars. I got this rooftop and that old peeling billboard that sometimes makes me feel like I'm not all that bad off… like I'm not missin' anything at all.

Sittin' here in the cold, lookin' down at those dark streets, I think I finally figured out what keeps on bringing me back.

I heard him behind me, but I don't turn around. It's easier to ignore it 'cause I'm concentrating on my breath. I can see it like smoke comin' from factory pipes and sewer grates. This cold, it makes everything quiet.

The streets below me don't got their dealers tonight. The workin' girls aren't trying ta stop a ride. They got better things to do then stand out here in the freezin' cold. I seen their kids. Probably, they got families too.

My breath just kinda snakes out of me like an old cigarette when I know I been found. I can hear his footsteps comin' closer, see his shadow even if he's careful to hide it. But he don't mean to be sneaking up behind me. Some habits just die hard.

"Leo's been looking all over the city for you," he says real quiet, 'cause that's how Don's always been- never said a loud thing in his life.

"Yeah, I know." But I don't turn. Breathe, hug my knees closer 'cause it's so damn cold. I wonder if he's noticed.

"You didn't forget about April's did you?"

He's coming closer, runs his hands up and down his arms even if he's got a coat. I don't see it, but I hear it- friction. Yeah, he feels it too. The air… it just leeches everything out of you. Quietly, he sits on the ledge next to me and stares, down at the streets first, then the billboard. His smile looks a lot like a frown.

"Nah, I didn't."

"Then why are you out here?"

I stop, meet his eyes and let out a breath just to watch it curl. "I was just…" What? Lookin' for drug dealers, waiting for whores? Or how about talkin' to myself, 'cause that's normal. Or what about starin' at that billboard and thinkin' about sex, about existence, about all the stupid shit this piece of crap life's put us through? "Thinkin'."

Yeah, thinkin'. He'll take it better that way. But he's got his eyes on me like he could think me through, take me apart and put me back together again. But I don't know if he could. A lot of times, I can't even think myself through, can't find my place in all this mess. These streets, this place, it tells me a lot about just how lost I really am. But he smiles, and for now, I got someplace to be.

He doesn't talk to me the whole way back. This time, we go to April's and everybody's there by now. We take the back roads to the ally way, stickin' to the shadows like we always do. The fire escape's covered in ice, but that don't bother us too bad while we clear the lighted windows on the way up. Everybody's got somewhere to be, someplace they know. Even the dealers know where they belong, and somehow… I just feel like I don't.

But they tell me to lighten up, and I've been trying. Nobody likes it when I point shit out on holidays, or act like I don't care, 'cause really, I don't. But I'm gunna pretend for now that this party of April's isn't just bait in the trap, like seein' us all together really isn't makin' me nervous 'cause it stirs up a lot of bad old memories I'd like ta keep forgotten. They hit us on Christmas before, almost killed my brother, so who's to say they won't do it on New Years? Damn those fucking Foot. They always got to be so dramatic.

But hey, it is New Year's, it's supposed to mean new beginnings. Maybe it will, maybe it'll be the same, but Mike's smilin' in the kitchen when we pull the window open, and Leo doesn't look like he's gunna kick my ass for runnin' off for once, so I guess I'll forget about it for now. The Shredder's shipped off to some prison planet or whatever, and Bishop's gone quiet. Who the hell knows where everyone else went, but there's been almost nothing goin' on since we made that half-assed truce with Karai… like those ever last long.

Here's bettin' the second she sees Leo again, she flips and takes it all back. I never got why she always has it in for only him. It's like she's obsessed with slicin' his throat every five seconds. Then she changes her mind for a while, goes quiet, then comes back again. Every time I find myself lookin' out the windows, I keep thinkin' about when the next time will be.

But yeah, it's New Years, it's a celebration and all, and I guess I just have ta loosen up. Mike's in the kitchen with April, makin' tacos 'cause it's the only thing everyone could agree on. The whole place smells like beef and hot sauce. I watch the two of 'em at work fryin' up tortillas and give April a nod when she notices me. I'm surprised how happy she is to see me just about every time I come around. She and I've probably said two words to each other in the five years I've known her. She's got to hate me for goin' out with Casey almost every Friday night. I don't see how she can't blame me for it. But maybe she thinks I can protect him somehow, keep him from getting himself killed.

If that's her reasoning, she's got a point. I've saved his butt more times than I can remember, and even if I wasn't here ta take him out, he'd probably go anyways. But I really don't think she knows how close to death we've come takin' on the gangs like that, 'cause Purple Dragon's don't fight fair. They got guns and no shame for killin' someone in cold blood just because some poor sap set foot on their turf. Neither of us has gotten shot yet, but who knows how long that'll last.

If she knew, she'd have every right ta hate me.

I turn away from the kitchen, 'cause I don't think I can even look at her no more. I'm not supposed ta be thinkin' about guns and getting my best friend killed on New Year's Eve. It just don't work that way, I guess. But holidays for me are just like that billboard. It reminds me of everything I hate about humanity and everything I don't feel a part of.

I think I'd be happier if I just stayed frozen to death on that rooftop.

I catch myself looking out the window again, meet my own eyes in my reflection and feel something cold sitting in the pit of my stomach. Nothing about today seems right, and every time I even get near that window, something about it just makes my skin crawl. But it's nothing. Leo's got to be rubbin' off on me, 'cause I'm just bein' way too goddamn paranoid.

When I turn around, my breath just stops climbin' about halfway up my throat. Leo's leanin' against the far wall, just starin' at me with a cup of punch in his hands. Our eyes meet for a second and he's doin' that thing where he can let ya know exactly what he's thinkin' about without sayin' a word. He's been lookin' out that window too.

I think the fucking psycho's just tryin' ta freak me out. If he is, he's doin' a damn good job of it.

I throw him a nasty glare before Casey yells somethin' to me. He's sittin' on the couch with Don watchin' something on TV. Master Splinter's over on the far side sittin' in an armchair, talkin' to Don and Leo about somethin' I don't care about. But I watch Don for a second before I plop down on the couch next ta Case. He's been wearin' that old jacket everywhere he goes all of a sudden. He still hasn't taken it off since he went out and got me. The thing's ugly as hell and about five sizes too big for him, but ever since he lost that piece of his shell, he never takes it off.

I think it's weird that he thinks he has ta hide it. Leo walks around with that nasty old scar of his and nobody cares. It ain't even like it's a big piece. But I think Don's freaking out about it 'cause he didn't do anything ta make it fall off. Leo got impaled through the damn shoulder ta get his ripped off. But other than the jacket, he's actin' like it's no big deal. Still, he's my brother, and even if I don't act like it sometimes, I worry about him.

Case elbows me in the bridge and I almost clock him one for bustin' my train of thought, but he's got this big stupid grin on his face like he's tryin' hard not to bust out laughing. He tries ta gesture over to Leo real smooth like and says real quietly "I spiked the punch."

My eyes go back ta Leo holdin' that cup a punch and I lose it. I bust out laughin' for a second, but try ta hide it with a fake cough.

"Are you ok?"

Oh shit, now Don's lookin' at me like I'm gunna die. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I choke, smackin' my plastron with my fist a few times for emphasis. Clearin' my throat, I get a hold of myself and say "I'm fine. 'S nothing."

He frowns a little at me in that mother hen sorta way, his fingers playin' with the fabric on the sleeve of his jacket. "You know you shouldn't be sitting out on that rooftop when it's cold like this. If you don't stay active or wear appropriate clothing, your body temperature could drop too low and you could make yourself seriously sick."

I throw him a glare and snap "heard it the last thousand times, Donny," makin' him roll his eyes and turn back ta talkin' to Leo. "I shouldn't expect you to listen to me anyways," he mutters like I don't notice, "I'm sure you would rather die of pneumonia than acknowledge any sort of reasonable advice."

Ok, Don's bein' a dick, but this is too damn funny to ruin by gettin' pissed. I think I'm startin' ta get the hang of this holiday cheer shit. "He didn't drink any, did he?" I mouth silently. I hope the freak still isn't watchin' me like he was by the window, 'cause then I probably ruined it already.

Casey's still smilin' but he looks kinda mad I almost blew it. "Nah, I been watchin' him," he says under his breath, "but keep your yap shut before you ruin it ya retard. You gotta play it smooth, like me."

"Chya, when are you ever smooth about anything?" I bite back, a little louder this time. "I'm pretty sure you're tha one who tripped over his own damn golf bag 'an did a face plant down the stairs last week."

"Hey, man, you knew I was drunk. You couldda caught me or somethin'."

"Like I would catch your fat, drunk ass. Who do I look like, your fucking Prince Charming? You'd probably fall on me an' kill me."

"Oh jeez, Raph, never knew ya felt about me like that. Sorry man, I don't think we can be friends no more. I don't swing that way, and I definitely don't fuck turtles."

Ok, he's just tryin' ta piss me off. If I had any sense I'd blow him off and give 'im a glare, but since when do I hold back on anything? "Now you're just askin' for it ya fuckin' douche bag," I growl, pullin' back ta clock him in the arm. But I guess that's why they call me impulsive. I forgot about Splinter sitting practically right the fuck next to me and kiss-ass Leo glarin' at me from the other side of the room. Now nobody's talkin' and I just kinda freeze mid-punch.

"Raphael!" Sensei snaps. I try ta throw him one of those innocent smiles Mike can pull off so well, but that never works for me. Damn. "Please, mind your manners… and your language."

"Sorry Sensei," was the automatic response. Really I just wanted ta give him a 'whatever,' but I don't 'cause I like my shell where it is. But now Leo's lookin' all high and mighty with that smug smile plastered on his face and I hafta practically bite my own tongue to keep myself from tellin' him to go fuck himself.

But then there's karma. Normally I don't believe in that shit, but this time it's just too good to pass up. Without losing that smile of his, Leo brings the cup of punch to his mouth and drinks. Next to me Casey's whole body tightens. I'm still bitin' my tongue. He takes a drink and pulls a face like a little girl sneakin' her first sip of beer. He swallows it back like it's made a lead, coughs, then cringes, holding up the class like he could see the Vodka in it.

Casey snorts like an animal next to me, one of those gross sounds you do when ya choke back a laugh but it comes out your nose. I elbow him hard in the ribs ta make him shut the hell up, but Leo looks up from sniffin' his glass and there's fire in his eyes. I just cross my arms over my chest and throw him a smirk.

"Ugh, it burns," he cringes, "what did you guys put it?"

Case answers way too fast ta be convincing. "No, no…. uh, I mean…. It's nothin' Leo, it's just my grandpa's old recipe," says the doofus, rubbin' at the back of his neck like a moron.

Leo throws me another look, and I just shrug like I got no idea what's going on. But there's no way he's gunna drink it now. Fearless is too paranoid ta fall for something like that, especially after Casey's little performance.

Leo's walkin' to the kitchen now, keepin' that look on me from the corners of his eyes 'til he disappears. Once he's gone I turn to Casey and give him a look of my own. "Yeah, real smooth Case, real smooth."

That's when the whole place goes to hell. There's a sound outside like there's a subway train runnin' down the street. The glass on the window panes are rattling and stuff's falling off the shelves. I'm on my feet before I can think, but the ground under my feet is movin'. The lamp falls offa the end table and shatters on the ground. Mikey's screamin' in the kitchen before the lights flicker then snap off.

"What the hell is goin' on!" I yell over the roar, the sound of breaking glass, grabbin' onto the side of the couch before I can fall over.

Finally the ground stops movin' and it's quiet again, but everything's pitch black. I stumble across the mess of shit, probably books and things from April's shelves, and find the window glass with my hands. Not even the streetlights are on.

"An earthquake?"

"Possible, but not likely."

"Didn't someone ask that the last time? Dude, I think it was you then too Leo. You guys know it's never just an earthquake! Never!"

"So what do you think it is, numb nuts?" I have no idea where anybody's standing, or even how Mikey got in the living room in the first place. We're used to dark, but this is nuts. I can't even see ten feet in front of me, so I ain't plannin' on movin' from the window. I keep my hand on the glass. But still I had ta ask him. He's always got some crackpot idea that entertains me. Someday I gotta find out what the hell that kid's smoking.

"Alien invasion," he answers like he's on a game show. "Or the Reptilians are coming from underground to eat our babies."

"Mikey, we've been through this. There's no such thing. You've been underground."

"Yeah, and we found those freaky monsters! Oh, and you can't forget Atlantis cult leader guy! Did you ever think about that? Hmm?"

"You don't even have any babies…"

"Mike… Don… just stop. We need to find out what's going on."

I gave up on the convo about as soon as he said somethin' about aliens. The city's so dark outside, you can see the stars hangin' up above. I'd never seen it like that before… not even a headlight in the street. Every inch of me is screamin' something ain't right here. Something ain't…

"Shit."

"What is it?"

Leo's standing next to me, the lights in the sky starting ta pour out the window. I can see half his face, his expression. I swallow hard, watching his eyes change, the lights crawling across in their reflection.

Air raid sirens start goin' off… there's people in the street. I can see their bodies wandering around, getting out of dead cars, crawling outta dark buildings, screaming, watching the sky. The dark is turning orange. We're all standing around the window, silent, watching. I can't take my eyes away.

A flash of light streaks down and hits the ground somewhere behind the building. Something huge. The ground tilts and rocks again, the window rattles and more shit falls off the shelves. People start screamin' louder, running, ducking, holding each other. There's more fire in the sky, more than I can count. I thought they were stars…

"Shit."

"W-what's going on?"

"I… I have no idea."

I start sliding open the window, gettin' ready to crawl out onto the fire escape.

"Raph, what're you doing?"

It's Leo's eyes again. He's got his hand on my shoulder. A streak of fire in the sky lights up their faces and the ground shakes again. The look he gives me makes me look away. "I'm gunna find out."

I catch Don's voice comin' up from somewhere behind Leo sayin' "We should be going underground. It's too dangerous to be here."

I pull away from the window, blocking the light. "Yeah? So you want to do nothin'. Since when are you a coward, Donny?"

"I…"

Leo looks torn apart. His eyes are goin' back and forth from the dark to the window. He shakes his head before he turns back to me. "We need to check it out. If we're in danger… we need to know why."

I'm halfway out the window before he even finishes his sentence. I lean against the cold fire escape railing. The screams are louder out here and the streets are filled with people. Somebody's cryin', but I can't see who. The air raid sirens are so loud it drowns out the rest of the noise. Helicopters are flyin' overhead with their spotlights on. Sweepin' over the street it, lights up the sea of people. The city's still darker than I've ever seen it, but there's smoke and fire rising up between the buildings. When I shiver, it's got nothin' to do with the cold.

"Come on, but be careful."

Leo's climbed up behind me onto the roof. I can see him there standing, waiting for the rest of us behind the orange sky. The air's filled with smoke and the smell of burnin' rubber.

We leave April and Splinter behind, jumping rooftops against the sea of people running the other direction in the streets below. But that's what we do. When all hell breaks out, we ain't gunna run away. We're gunna chase it.

Don tries his cell phone, but when he opens it, the light's dead. The rest of us try it, but even Casey's won't turn on. My heart's pounding in my ears every inch we get closer. The sky's getting brighter, the air's so thick my lungs burn. The night's getting warmer.

Then we stop at the edge. Where there used to be buildings stretching for miles, there's a clearing. Rubble, concrete, the twisted shells of cars still on fire. A bus burns and the windows break from the inside out. But it's quiet. There's a canyon in the pavement, where something plowed straight through the buildings, bending streetlights, overturning cars on their sides. If there were people here, they're either gone or dead.

The sky's filled with choppers, spotlights sweepin' over the huge scar buried in the ground, the clearing where Ninety Second useta be, snaking through the buildings out to the heart of what used ta be a business district. There's nothing now. Just a hot wind that burns my face and arms. It's filled with smoke and Mikey gets a lungful behind me, starts coughing hard. But nobody's talked yet. We don't need to. There ain't no words for this.

Leo motions over to the next building, following the scar. The air gets hotter and you can hear it burnin'. The smoke get's thicker and I try not to breathe it in, but my eyes are watering bad.

Then we're at the heart of it. The fire's so hot I feel like my skin's baking, but it's dying out. There's a crater in the pavement the size of a football field, everything around it in ruins. There's a high rise tipped over on its side like dominos, just leaning on the others, buckled in the center. I can hear the support beams creakin' under the pressure.

But that's nothin' compared to what made this…

"I… I told you it was aliens," Mikey whispers, "It's always aliens." His voice is shakin' real bad and he's hangin' onto my arm like a pussy. I pull it outta his hands, but I don't yell at him for it. I'm too busy lookin' at the giant ass ship sittin' there in the middle of this crater.

I hate it when Mikey's right.

"The other meteorites must have been ships too," Don says quietly. I know his brain's gotta be workin' a mile a minute by now. But this time, I don't think he's gunna come up with an answer. We've dealt with this before when the Triceretons invaded but something's tellin' me this time'll be different. Judgin' by the symbol on that ship's side, I ain't even sure how much longer we got to live. Anything with that symbol means trouble. Two hundred yard long spaceships with that symbol… now that is bad. Really fuckin' bad.

"The Shredder," Leo whispers. The fire's lightin' up his silhouette now, just enough to see him. He's pissed off… really fuckin' pissed off.

"Fuck!" I curse. I feel like I should spit on that ship or somethin'. I can't handle this shit. Not again. Not after all we've been through to get rid of that bastard the last twenty times. "Why can't that son of a bitch just stay down?"

"Raph. Shhh…"

I start ta open my mouth to tell him to shut his face before I see what he's pointin' at. I don't know what they are, but they sure as hell don't look friendly. Yeah, this might be a good time ta shut my trap.

"Disappear."

I don't think my heart ever stopped pounding in my ears since we left April's apartment, but now I can't hear a damn thing. We turn around and head for the shadows as quick as we can, but something goes wrong.

Of course somethin' goes wrong. It always goes fuckin' wrong.

There's a sound like one of those fireworks after you light them and somethin' bright is headin' right towards us. I think it's a flare until it hits the side of the building and explodes, takin' half the wall and roof with it.

"Run!"

"That's what I'm doin', Leo!" I growl. Getting' shot at always puts me in a pissy mood.

Someone down there's got a machine gun, and bullets are flyin' everywhere, bouncin' off the walls. I hear them cuttin' through the air right next to my goddamn head, but it only makes me run faster.

Once we're out of range we jump to the next building, then the next, droppin' down into an ally before they can spot us again. There's an empty garage open nearby, and we duck in. I'm back to bein' blind again. It's so dark all I can make out is the sound of everybody breathin' hard. I lean against the wall and try ta slow my heart down enough ta hear myself think again. "Now what the hell were those," I pant. I feel like I asked that question a million times by now.

"Looked like giant robots."

"Giant robots with guns."

"And RPGs."

"Yeah… I'm startin' ta think twice about comin' with you guys…" Casey whines next to me. I can't help laughin' a little at that.

"Guys, do you remember those bots we fought after the Tricereton invasion? Back in that fallen tri-base?"

"Do you think that's what those things were, Donny?"

"They looked a heck of a lot like them. Probably with a weapons upgrade for long range fire."

"Great," I groan, "as if those things weren't hard enough ta beat already."

"But I thought we wasted those things forever ago."

"Yes, but if the Shredder is planning an attack on Earth, he'd need back up to pull it off. That means…"

"An army…"

The second Leo says it my stomach sinks. I really don't like the sound of that. But the sound of footsteps outside the door keeps me from sayin' anything. There's a shadow comin' toward us… a lot of shadows. I think the whole room stopped breathin' the second the robot came into view. After that I had no doubt those things were Karai bots. Shit.

The thing was massive, at least eight feet tall. I could see all of it in the dark- made outta polished steel like the chrome on a Harley, reflectin' every bit of light that hit it. It was carryin' a Kusari gama bigger than anythin' I ever seen before, sickle in one hand, weighted chain on the other. Rememberin' back to the last time we faced those things, I really don't think I wanta see it in action. We all stay silent as we can.

Another three come up behind the first, each one with a different kind of weapon. They all stop in the alley outside the garage door. I'm holdin' my breath, but I know it won't do any good the second those bots turn toward us. Crap. I grab my sai and get ready for the signal. This's one fight I sure as hell ain't gunna jump into.

But we don't get much of a warning once the first bot lifts up its arm toward us. It's got this giant ass cannon pointed straight at the garage, and in a second we're on 'em. Leo cuts off the barrel of the cannon, but the shot's already fired and there's an RPG missile zoomin' right past my damn face. It hits the garage and the whole thing bursts into flame.

I hear Don yell out somethin' about heat sensors, but the noise drowns him out. I got bigger things to worry about anyways. Like, oh, the giant ass robot tryin' to cut off my head with a pair of five foot long katana. It swings down and I got both swords caught in the tines of my sai. But I'm struggling. That thing's so damn strong I can feel my arms givin' out under the pressure. The blades are getting closer to the place where my neck meets my shoulders and damn… I really like that place intact, thanks.

But I grit my teeth and keep fightin'. It takes me a while but I manage ta kick it in the gut and flip backwards. The thing doesn't flinch, but at least I get outta the bind I was in. I can hear my brothers fightin' in the background, the sound of metal against metal. I wanta look over my shoulder and see how Casey's fairing out, but that bot ain't gunna give me a chance. It swings at two different places with those blades an' I find myself retreating again. God I hate retreating.

It's got me backin' up towards the flaming garage. The back of my neck burns from the heat but that's the least of my worries. Mikey butts up right next ta me with his own bot pushing him back, and I start thinkin' about how long we can keep like this before getting' burned to a crisp.

"What do we do?"

Mike's watchin' me outta the corner of his eye. He's scared to death- I can tell.

"I dunno," I grunt, almost knockin' into him when I dodge another attack. They're herding us like cattle over to the fire, and it's getting' a hell of a lot hotter than before. But I don't dare look back. These things move too fast. One look and I could come back missin' a head.

I'm just about ready ta do something stupid to get us the fuck outta here when Mike misses a dodge and his bot's manriki smacks him in the bridge. He falls off to the side and doesn't even try ta get up. I use the distraction to flip out over top of the bots and try to jump Mike's from behind.

But the second my feet are on the ground there's a fucking knife to my throat. I can feel her body pressed up against the back of my shell, her breath on my shoulder when she says "Halt! Legions, hold your fire." I swallow hard against the blade. It's cuttin' into my skin and I wouldn't put it past that crazy bitch to just slit my throat then and there. The robots stop, but I got my eyes on Leo's. He's gotta know what to do. He's gotta…

"Karai." Leo almost hisses it when he walks into my line of sight, but he stops once she presses the blade harder into my skin.

"Welcome to the end of your world as you know it, Leonardo. I've come to give you a proposition in exchange for your brother's life."

Man, I don't like the sound of that, but Leo just stays silent, watching her.

"This is your last chance. I will extend this offer one last time. Join me, serve the Shredder or perish at his hand. There is no fighting this."

There's only silence. Mike whimpers a little, but he doesn't move. I can hear the fire burning, the sirens, the people screamin', glass breaking, gun fire, death everywhere… I swallow again, lookin' for an out, but there's nothing. Holy shit I'm gunna die.

I wince when the knife cuts a little deeper.

There's a flash of metal, a scream- Leo… attacked. Leo you bastard! He's tryin' ta get to her before she can chop my head off, but it's too late. There's a bot there, catchin' him in mid-air with a punch to the gut. He slams back onto the pavement and doesn't move, but I can see his eyes. He's silent… doesn't say anything when she kicks out the back of my knees. I lean over and kneel on the ground right next to him, her knife still pressed to my throat.

"You make a poor choice, turtle," she hisses over my head. "I would expect so much more from you."

"You were… our ally…" he groans, still not taking his eyes away from mine. I want to shake my head at that, tell him he's a dumbass for ever thinking it. All the times she's stabbed our back he always finds a way to forgive her. But I think that bitch shouldn't have been forgiven the first time. She shoulda died a long, long time ago. All this dicking around's just gunna end up gettin' us killed. Right now it looks like I'm gunna be missin' a head pretty soon, all because fucking Leo can't hold a grudge for anybody but me.

"Perhaps… but the Shredder is my father. I serve him until my life's last breath, and it is his will that you suffer for defiling his name. But…" She presses her knife harder into my throat and I gag. I can feel the blood startin' ta flow and squeeze my eyes shut. "Because I have fought at your side, I will do you a favor, just this once. I will let you all live, so long as you never show your faces again. Resist, and you will face a fate far worse than death."

Leo struggles to his feet, peels his eyes away from me. I never seen him with so much hate in his eyes before. It scares the crap outta me, even when he sheathes his swords. "Fine," he spits like his words taste bad, "I swear it."

From behind him, Don sheathes his bo and helps Mike to his feet, but they don't make a sound. They're watchin' me, horrified.

"Good…" she almost whispers, easing the knife off my throat just a little. But the way she says it makes my skin crawl. I get this sick feeling in my stomach I just can't shake. "You made one wise decision tonight, and one foolish one. I will let you leave for your wisdom, but punish you for your foolishness."

In two seconds I'm screamin' louder than I've ever done in my life. The knife's at my throat but her finger's in my eye. The dark explodes into light and all I see is white and fire. It burns! It burns like a mother fucker and I feel it pop in my skull, the pain clawing into my brain, setting my skull on fire. She lets me go but I'm still screamin' my lungs out. I claw at my face and scream and scream. There's wet on my face, on my hands, blood and somethin' else. I can't open 'em I can't…

I'm shaking…. shaking… my hands are in fists and my nails bite into my skin but nothing makes it better, nothing… burning, bleeding, brain on fire in my skull, someone's hand is on my shoulders but I don't feel. Grind my teeth together till they creak, scream till my lungs burst, claw at my face, tears, more pain than I can handle… I can't even hear… all the sounds are gone. The fire's gone, the siren's gone, the people are dead and the ship disappeared. But I hear my brother's screamin' far away… blind to everything… just pain… pain…

When I open my eyes again… everything's cold… I'm still shakin'…. can't catch my breath… We're not on the roof… it's dark, no fire. Candles make the light and I see April's face near mine, her hand against my cheek… She's whispering "Raph, shhh. It's okay, don't cry. You can't cry…"

Am I cryin'? All I feel is cold. I'm sittin' on a couch… in April's basement… Splinter's next to me… holdin' my hand… I let go before I break it, reach up and grab April's arm. "Wha…"

It's cold… I shiver… the blanket around me's doin' nothin'… my teeth are chattering…

"Raph, no. You have to let me do this."

I swallow and look up at her, restin' my head against the back of the couch. Something's wrong, I can feel it. She's got a needle in her hand. She reaches up and I feel my skin pop, the thread pull through… pop… pull through.

I feel sick… I try ta breathe but it comes out like a sob when I realize what she's doing… she's sewin' my eye shut.

Karai, you bitch… you'll fuckin' pay for this.