Don't own Gundam Wing or it's characters...etc etc...



Yaoi 3+4 songfic....with lots of yummy, cavity causing sap!



Just Stargazing



The cool night breeze sends a ghostly sound through the air, and I have to pause to regain my balance. I shiver slightly, my thin layer of clothing providing no protection against the cold, but I carry on walking across the tiles. I find a place directly under the moon, sit, draw my knees up under my chin and simply stare.



When I look up to a thousand stars shining

I stare...even when our affairs this day are still unchanging.....



I often sit on the roof top just to admire the beauty of the night sky. It's an ideal place, and time, to reflect on life and to contemplate what it all means. And it's somewhere to think about love.



For an un-explainable reason, the stars, drowned in blackness, make a perfect and beautiful focus point. I suppose they're similar to life itself in a way. Each star looks so small, but there are so many of them, together illuminating the vast, endless void that I gaze upon.



The gentleness of truth puzzles you

Because of the wounded you want to be strong...



I begin to think about Trowa. My lover...my soul mate. Should anyone ever ask, I would undoubtedly say that we were in love. But even now I question just what love is. An emotion? A state of mind? Whatever it is, I know deep in my heart that what I feel for Trowa is a strong, unbreakable bond. And I would think Trowa loves me back.....



Maybe I'm being naive. I've often been told I'm a fairly naive person, and apparently I'm thought of as being innocent. It's such a common misconception. I'm so far from innocent and naive it disgusts me . I witnessed the horrors of war and experienced it first hand, taken the lives of my enemies. I almost feel sick when I think about those people that I've killed.



Sad and lonely times,

I'm always near

There's your pain, but still I feel it for you.....



And even thought he's forgiven me a thousand times over, I still cannot forgive myself for almost killing the one I love. It was because of my mental weakness that I could not control my own mind as I destroyed those colonies. Another horrible reminder of the lives taken.



No matter how many times I apologize, Trowa will just explain that it was witnessing my fathers death that drove me to insanity, drove me to building that disgusting and pointless machine and caused the wreckage I created. But even thought I practically hang off Trowa's every word, I cant help but think that what he says about that horrific incident just isn't true.



When I look up to a thousand stars shining,

I'm having a gaze at an unknown and eternal kindness.....



But now, thank Allah, that's all over. The bloody fighting and nightmares still go on, but it's not half as frightening now we have each other.



I sigh just thinking about him. Trowa. Oh how I'd like to dive into the endless pools of emerald that are his eyes, the portal into the expanse of his mysterious soul. They're so deep you could get lost in them. And while I'm just being held in his protective embrace, I feel that everything is alright, that I'm safe as long as I have him.



In this star

We suddenly meet by chance....

Throwing open the door of tomorrow

Becoming brave.......



I know I'll have grow out of my dreamy fantasy sometime, accept the responsibilities left for me by my father. But I'm giving so much into the war that until it ends, and I pray it does soon, I'll give everything I have into my devotion to Trowa. That is, when we're not battling in the middle of the destruction this conflict has created.



Morning will visit soon

But the stars are still in sight,

Even in darkness, even in light...

We look forward to a peaceful future....



Maybe that's why I treasure every moment we have together, in case his final battle arrives. I dread to think about what I'd do if I lost him. Take revenge on the one that took his life? Go on another rampage through space and face the hard hitting realism of what I've done afterwards? Maybe. Maybe not.



In the end I don't think I could live if he were gone, and suicide would probably be the escape I'd turn to. It's a sinful, cowardly, hateful way out, but it's the easiest.



From timely words,

There's one smile...

A dream drowned in darkness,

Send help......



I pull away from my morbid thoughts as I hear a soft voice calling my name. I look up and see Trowa walking across the roof towards me. I smile as I cast my eyes over his tall body, his acrobatic skills making it easier for him than it was for me to make his way over the thin rail of tiles. He holds a sweater in his hands, which he drapes over my sholders as he comes to sit beside me.



"You look frozen." He comments simply.



I suddenly realise just how cold I feel and I hastily pull the warm sweater over my head, slipping my bare arms inside the sleeves. "Thank you." I reply.



He smiles, gathering me in his arms, warming me further still. I feel safe again, his comfort factor.



But the stars are still in sight,

Even in darkness, even in light..

We look forward to a peaceful future.....



"I noticed you were gone. I thought you might be up here." Trowa says, holding me close.



I nod, smiling. "I like to look at the stars, they're about the only beautiful thing left in this universe. Well, them....and you...."



Trowa smiles back. "And you know you'll always be beautiful to me."



His comment makes me blush (an embarrassing occurrence), but it's a term of his affection.



When I look up into a thousand stars shining,

I'm having a gaze at an unknown and eternal kindness....



"Love you, Quatre..." He whispers.



"Love you too..." I whisper back.



And I think for these few moments, we are so content that the war doesn't matter any more. I settle back against him, and I would be happy to stay there forever, for as long as the beauty of the stars was still there to be appreciated.



Just stargazing......