Summary: After the trio leaves Hogwarts, Harry goes off to Puddlemere United, to be their Seeker. Leaving behind his life, friends and Hermione. He's been gone for six years and after five years of not writing, Harry resigns from the team and comes back to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Hermione won't speak to him, the only one he has is Ron. Harry tries everything to get Hermione to forgive him. Finally all she agrees to is being his friend…but, that's not enough for Harry.
Spoilers: Books 1-5
Rating: NC-17
I Still Love you
The day was nice, the sun was shining and there was a light breeze blowing. It was perfect for sitting outside of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor in Diagon Alley and having some ice cream. And, that's exactly what Hermione Granger was doing. She sat at a table under the shade of an oak tree, enjoying a sundae and reading today's copy of the Daily Profet. She did this every once and a while, so she wouldn't be cooped up in her flat all day.
Diagon Alley was very busy for this time of year, the Hogwarts student were getting their new school supplies. The new school term would be starting next week and a new term called for new supplies. The new term also called for Hermione to get back to work. She was the Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts. She enjoyed it very much. Sometimes, she would see one of her students around Diagon Alley shopping for the new term, and they would stop to talk to her. She enjoyed it; the kids had taken a liking to her in her first year teaching. She was one of the favorite Professors.
Hermione finished reading an article about House Elf rebellions and turned to the next page. She gasped when she saw the headline: Puddlemere Seeker Resigns
Hermione looked at the picture of the Puddlemere seeker, Harry Potter. He was grinning big. Hermione's eyes moved form the picture to the article.
Puddlemere Seeker ResignsAfter six years of winning games and four years of winning the World Cup, the Seeker for Puddlemere has decided to resign. It will be a great loss for the team. Before Harry Potter joined, they were in a loosing streak, but when he joined, he led them through games and games of victories. If it weren't for him, the team would have been finished.
In an interview with one of the Daily Profet reporters, Potter answers many questions, but some he doesn't. He will not reveal why he is leaving the team, or what he will be doing with his life when he does leave.
Puddlemere United will never be able to replace Harry Potter, for a better seeker, it looks like their winning streak will be over.
After Hermione finished the article, her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. Why would he resign? She asked herself. He loves Quidditch, it's his life.
Though, hearing about Harry made her sad. It made her remember the night he had left. He had promised he would keep in touch with her, but after one year, she never heard from him again. She tried to write him countless times, but she never got a reply. It had been five years since she last heard from him. After a while, she stopped trying. She was depressed for the longest time. When she took the job at Hogwarts, she started getting busy, and began to forget about Harry. She didn't totally forget about him, but she kept him from interfering with her life.
Hermione's thoughts were interrupted, by a loud CRACK! She turned to see her friend, Ron Weasley. He had Apparated to Florean's.
"Hey Ron…" She said gloomily.
"Hermione…" He said sitting down beside her. "Is something wrong?"
She handed him the copy of the Daily Profet and pointed at the article about Harry.
"Oh…I've already read it." He said, sliding the paper back to her. "Why did it upset you?"
She didn't answer right away; she just sat there for a moment. When she did speak, it was in a quiet voice.
"It just got me to thinking about him again…that's all."
"Hermione, you can't stay mad at him. He's been really busy." Ron said.
"Too busy to write his best friends?" Hermione asked in a louder voice.
Ron didn't say anything. He agreed with her, but he also believed that Harry had a good reason for not writing them. He didn't want something like this to ruin their friendship.
"I just hope he doesn't come back here." Hermione said at last.
"Umm…Hermione, I think your going to be mad at me." Ron said with a sheepish grin on his face.
"Why?"
"Because…I know what Harry's going to do." He said.
"What?" She asked.
"Well, since I'm now the Headmaster at Hogwarts, there was an opening for the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor…."
"Ron…." Hermione began. "Your not telling me you hired him to be the new professor…are you?"
Ron nodded. A tear slid down Hermione's cheek.
"Ron…I can't see him again." She said shaking her head. "I can't face him."
"Hermione, I'm sorry. He's the only one I could find for the job."
Ron had been made Headmaster of Hogwarts after McGonagall resigned. Hermione was now Deputy Headmistress, though she wandered why she wasn't chosen for Headmistress, but she didn't dare bring it up around Ron.
"But Ron…you know what happened between us before he left. Then, he stops writing. How am I supposed to face him?" Tears were now streaming down her face. Ron grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently.
"Everything's going to be alright."
"No. It's not."
"Yes." Ron said sternly. "It's going to be fine. It'll be just like old times. The trio will be back together again."
Hermione shook her head again. "No, Ron. It's never going to be like old times."
Ron pulled Hermione into a hug. She rested her head on his shoulder and cried. She didn't care that there were people watching, she just let it all out.
As much as she wanted it to be like old times, she knew it could never happen. With her and Harry, especially. To many things had happened between them.
When Hermione went home that night, she took a shower and immediately went to bed. Her mind was racing with thoughts of Harry. When she lay down in her bed, she couldn't sleep. Harry just kept going through her mind. It made her think about the night, right before he left.
Harry had come over to say goodbye. He would be leaving the next day. Hermione was sad, but she knew she would still get to write to Harry. They had been dating for over a year now, and were inseparable. Nothing could come between them.
"Harry…I'm going to miss you so much."
"I'll miss you more." Said Harry.
Hermione only smiled. Harry leaned his head down and planted a kiss on her lips.
"You better write me everyday." Hermione went on.
"I will…I promise, Hermione." Harry said, looking deep into her eyes. "But, I have to go now."
"Well, if you have to…"
Harry brought his lips back down on Hermione's again. It was a very passionate kiss. It seemed it lasted forever, that is until Harry pulled back.
"I have to go." He whispered.
"Ok."
Harry moved away from Hermione and walked towards the door. When he reached it, he opened it and then turned back around.
"I love you, Hermione." He said and then he left and closed the door behind him.
Hermione was awestruck. She didn't know what to do. He just told her that he loved her…did he really mean it?
Hermione ran and opened the door. "Harry!" She called out. But, there was no one there. He had already Disapparated.
Hermione drifted off to sleep. Her head was still filled with thoughts of Harry.
The day before the students would arrive at Hogwarts was the day the professors were supposed to arrive. They came early, so they could get their lessons for the first day planned.
Hermione was dreading it. She had apparated to Hogsmeade and was walking up the Hogwarts drive. She made to walk slowly, so that she had more time to herself. She wasn't looking forward to this term, as she usually did. Seeing Harry again was going to kill her mentally.
She made it to the front steps to Hogwarts and stopped. She knew what was awaiting her and she didn't want to face it. Still walking slowly, she ascended the steps, to the big oak front doors, her heart was pounding. When she entered the Entrance hall, to her relief, it was deserted. She crossed the hall and then jogged up the Marble Staircase. Walking quickly, she made her way to her classroom, hoping she wouldn't run into anyone on the way. When she ran into her room, she locked the door behind her.
Harry walked slowly through the corridors of Hogwarts. He hadn't been there in six years. He stopped to talk to old paintings, and even Mr. Binns, the boring ghost that taught History of magic. Of course, Harry knew he would never leave. Then, he continued on. When he made it to the huge gargoyle statue that leads to the Headmaster's office he muttered the password, "Dungbomb." The gargoyle sprang to life and moved aside. Harry walked in and stood on the spiral staircase, which moved upwards. When he reached the highly polished oak door, he knocked.
He heard a voice say, "Come in." And the door opened to it's own accord.
Harry was greeted with a big grin from his friend, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Ron.
"Ron…" Harry began, "It's great to see you."
"Hello, Harry. Great to see you too, mate." Ron said, getting up from his desk and walking around to greet him. They shook hands.
"It's been a long time…" Ron said.
"Yes…it has." Said Harry. "And that's one thing I need to clear up."
"No…" began Ron, "Don't. There's no need."
Harry tried to smile back at Ron, who was acting as if nothing had happened, but he couldn't. So, he said, "How did you land this job anyway? I figured McGonagall would have given it straight to Hermione."
Ron had wandered this too; so he didn't pretend to be surprised by the question. But, McGonagall had her reasons. What surprised him though, was that Harry had mentioned Hermione. Had he talked to her yet?
"I really don't know…McGonagall didn't say." Ron answered. "But, speaking of Hermione…have you talked to her yet?"
Harry sighed and shook his head.
"Well, then why are you up here talking to me and trying to apologize, when she's the one you should be apologizing to?" Ron said.
Harry was taken aback; he hadn't expected it from Ron. "I just got here…" He answered. "I haven't had the chance."
"Oh…well, you better get goin'…"
Harry was surprised that Ron was trying to get rid of his so quickly. He didn't know what to think.
"Ok…" Harry said. "I'll go find her, then."
"Good luck."
"Thanks, I'll need it. I'd be surprised if she even wants to talk to me…" He said as he left.
He headed to Hermione's office, which was located inside of the Transfiguration room. He walked slowly, trying to think of what he was going to say to her, when he found himself already at the door. With no idea what he was going to say, he knocked on the door lightly.
"Who is it?" She asked.
Harry hesitated a moment before answering. "Harry…"
There was a long silence. Harry thought for a moment that Hermione wasn't going to let him in. Then, the door opened. Harry walked in slowly, turning to close the door behind him. When he faced Hermione, she wasn't looking at him, but at a piece of parchment that lay on her desk. He knew she wasn't reading it, because her eyes were still. She just didn't want to look at him, though…he couldn't blame her.
He walked ever closer to her desk he was only a few feet in front of her, but she still hadn't looked at him.
"Hermione…" He said quietly.
"What?" She said, still not looking up.
"Hermione, look at me." He said.
She hesitated, but finally looked up. He could see traces of pain and her eyes were filled with tears that had yet to fall.
"Hermione…I—"
"Please, Harry." She interrupted. "Don't…" She stood and turned, with her side facing him.
Harry sighed. He then walked around the desk to face her. She looked at him again, and the tears began to fall. She tried to wipe them away, but new ones only replaced them.
Harry's green eyes poured into her chocolate brown eyes. He reached out instinctively and grabbed her hand. She looked at his hand around hers, and the tears began to fall faster. His other hand reached up and brushed some of the tears away.
"Hermione…" He whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You should have thought about that before you stopped writing, Harry."
"I was so busy…I would have written I just couldn't find the time." Harry explained.
"You couldn't find the time for your two best friends? For me?" She snapped, pulling her hand from his.
"Hermione…I'm sorry." He said again. "Ron forgives me…why can't you?"
Hermione glared at him. "Ronald and I are two different people! Your relationship with him and your relationship with me was totally different!"
Harry was silent. He didn't know what to say or do, so he did the only thing he could think of at the time. He reached up and cupped Hermione's cheek and then kissed her. He softly caressed her lips with his. At first, he felt her relax under him, he thought she was going to welcome his embrace, but then he felt her pushing against him. She pushed him away, their lips breaking apart and then she slapped him. She slapped him hard, right across the face. Then, she ran into her office and slammed the door behind her.
"Hermione!" Harry called, running to the door. He rapped on it with his knuckles. "Hermione…please, talk to me."
"Leave me alone!" Hermione shouted through the door. He could tell by her shaky voice, that she was now crying harder…and it was all his fault.
"Hermione…" Harry trailed off. He sighed and his head fell against the door with a 'thunk.' A tear slid down his cheek.
Harry moved away from the door and turned to leave. He could have easily opened the door with his wand, but it wouldn't have done any good. Hermione didn't want to talk to him, and he didn't want to cause her any more pain. He would just wait until she had cooled off. He had to give her time alone…
Harry went back to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. He sat at his desk, for the rest of the day and prepared the first few days' lessons.
When Harry awoke the next day, he found himself still at his desk. He had fallen asleep while still planning the lessons. He looked at his watch, it was nearly eight, and so he hadn't slept in late. Getting up, he stretched and looked out one of the windows. It was already bright out and the sun was casting light through, to brighten the room.
He couldn't believe he fell asleep, he hadn't even realized he was tired last night.
Harry was walking towards his door, when his stomach growled. He had skipped dinner last night, so he decided to go down to the Great Hall for some Breakfast. As he was walking, he passed the Transfiguration classroom, and he remembered what had happened yesterday with Hermione. Harry groaned. He hoped she wasn't in down in the Great Hall. Even though he really did want to see her, he didn't want to make her any angrier with himself.
When Harry entered the Great Hall, to his relief, Hermione wasn't in there. He scanned the staff table, to see whom all was teaching. At one end, to his demise, was Professor Snape. His least favorite teacher when he had attended Hogwarts as a student. He was surprised he was still teaching here. He looked old and feeble, but he still had the same greasy hair, which had faded to a gray color. Going down the table, there were many teachers he didn't recognize, and judging by the empty spots, he was going to meet a lot of knew teachers, very soon. Ron was sitting in the middle of the table, as Dumbledore had always done. Next to him, was an empty seat and then a squatty little man with hardly any hair, wearing a pinstriped cloak. On down the line, there were more empty seats.
Ron grinned at Harry as he sat down on his Right. "Professor Potter." He said with a smirk and a slight nod of his head.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Please…call me Harry. At least until the students arrive, it sounds to strange."
"Fine…" Said Ron. "So…how did it go last night with Hermione?"
Harry sighed heavily. "Terrible. She barely talked to me for a few minutes, then she slapped me and then she ran in her office crying."
Ron started laughing. "She slapped you…What for?"
Harry leaned closer to Ron and whispered, "Because I kissed her."
"What'd you do that for?"
"I didn't know what else to do! She was crying and I guess it was instinct…I don't know." Raved Harry.
Ron shook his head. "Instinct?"
"Shut up." Harry said, helping himself to some toast. Right about then, Harry looked up and Hermione entered the Great Hall. When she spotted Harry, she quickly looked at her feat as she walked up to the staff table and sat on Ron's left.
"Hey Hermione." Ron said.
"Good morning, Ron." She looked around him at Harry. "Harry…"
"Morning…" Harry said looking at her face, hoping to tell how she was feeling.
Hermione looked away quickly and started in on some bacon. Ron looked at Harry and shrugged his shoulders. Then, he got up and left the table, leaving Harry confused. Harry didn't dare look at Hermione; he knew she didn't want to talk to him. So, after he finished a small breakfast, he left and headed for his office.
Hermione watched him leave, she almost wanted call after him, but she stopped herself. She looked to her right, where Snape was sitting. He was looking at Harry with disgust and then his face turned to her.
"You and Potter not getting along?" Snape smirked.
"As if it's any of your business." Hermione snapped, and got up from the table, stalking off.
She strode across the Entrance Hall and up the Marble Staircase, heading to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She made it to the door and stopped, she heard voices inside. One's she was sure belonged to Harry and Ron.
"Ron…I don't know what I'm gonna do." Harry said. He started pacing back and forth in front of his desk, while Ron sat on the edge of it.
Lying on Harry's desk was the Marauder's Map. Ron glanced at Harry's office and saw a little dot outside the door. It was Labeled Hermione Granger. Ron quickly looked away and started talking to Harry again, so he wouldn't see the map.
"What all did she say?" Ron asked.
"Not much…" Harry said. "Something about not having time for my two best friends and then something about the difference in mine and your relationship, compared to hers and mine. But…I know we had different relationships, we were dating for Merlin's sake."
"Harry…" Ron said. "Yes, but don't you remember what you told her the night you left?"
Harry looked up at Ron. "That I love her? Of course I remember that."
"Well, why didn't you say anything to her about it in your letters?" Ron asked getting up.
"I don't know…she never mentioned it, so I didn't want to press on it." Harry answered.
Ron rolled his eyes. "Do you have any idea what you did to her?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you had her believing that you loved her and then you stopped writing. What do you think happened?"
Harry stopped pacing and looked at Ron. "Well Ron, that was the point in telling her, so she would know I did." Harry snapped.
Ron looked confused for a second. He thought for a moment before saying anything. "So, you really loved her?" He asked, glancing back at the map. Hermione was still there.
"Did and do." Harry said.
Ron was surprised. He raised his eyebrows at Harry. "You mean…you still love her?"
"Of course I do. I can't stop thinking about her." Harry started pacing again. "But, she's never going to forgive me…I'm an idiot!"
"No your not, Harry."
Harry looked at Ron like he was the idiot.
"Ok…" Began Ron, "Maybe you are, but that shouldn't stop you from trying."
Harry paced up and down some more, thinking hard. He then walked to the window and looked out over the grounds. He looked over near the forest, to Hagrid's cabin. His face lit up.
"Is Hagrid still teaching?" Harry asked, turning to Ron.
"Yeah…"
"Great, I haven't talked to him in ages and…he could probably help."
Hermione turned and ran, she went to the nearest broom cupboard and threw herself in it. She heard Harry and Ron come out and she could tell by their footsteps, that they went different directions. When she was sure they were gone, she got out of the cupboard and dusted herself off.
She began to walk towards her office. Remembering what she had overheard, her eyes filled with tears as she went on. Harry really had loved her…and he still does. She wasn't sure what to think. She was still furious with him, but at the same time, she wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go. But, she wasn't going to give him any signs of weakness, she was going to do all she could to stay away from him, she had to stay strong.
By the time she reached her office, the tears were falling. She opened the door and was surprised to find Ron waiting for her. She jumped and started wiping at her eyes, hoping that he didn't see the tears that were in them. It was no good; her eyes were still puffy and red.
Ron saw the tears in her eyes immediately. "I figured as much." He said as she walked past him to her desk.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione snapped.
"I just meant that I knew you'd be crying."
"Why?" She asked, giving him a suspicious look.
"I saw you on the Marauder's Map, Hermione."
Hermione's eyes widened. "Did…did Harry see?"
Ron shook his head, "No."
"Good."
It was silent for a few minutes, during which Hermione sat at her desk, pretending to be looking for something in the drawers.
"Hermione…I know you heard."
She looked up at Ron. "Heard what?"
"The last thing Harry said."
Hermione thought for a moment and then said dumbly, "You mean, that he hadn't spoken to Hagrid in ages?"
Ron glared at her. "Hermione…" He said sternly.
"Fine!" She shrieked, tears spilling down her face again. "I heard."
"Then why are you upset?" Asked Ron.
"Because I know he didn't mean it."
"Hermione…" Ron said coming closer to her. "He meant it. I know he did."
She looked up at him. "How do you know?"
"Because, he's my best friend. I can tell when he's lying…and I know he wasn't then." Ron explained.
Hermione covered her face in her hands and began to cry harder. She was trembling.
"Hermione, I don't know why you're so upset about this…"
"He said he loved me and then he didn't say anything about it for six years!" Hermione said, now looking up at Ron. "Now he says he still loves me…and…and…" She buried her face in her hands again; she couldn't finish what she wanted to say.
Ron put his arm around her shoulders. When Hermione looked up at him, tears were still streaming down her face. She only looked at him for a moment, contemplating on whether or not to tell him.
Her voice barely above a whisper, she finally said, "…And…I love him, too."
Ron was taken aback by what she said; he was just as surprised as he was when Harry told him the same thing about her.
It was silent again. The only noise was Hermione's muffled sobs against Ron's shoulder. It took a while, for her tears to subside, but when they did she stood up and began pacing the room.
"Ron…"
"What?"
"Could you do me a favor and not tell Harry about this?"
He only nodded.
"Thanks, Ron."
"No problem, Hermione." He said walking towards the door. "But…you better tell him soon."
She stopped pacing to look at him. "I…I will…someday."
"Soon, Hermione. I can't stand seeing my two best friends miserable." He said and then left.
Hermione paced her room more. It was nearly noon, by time she looked at her watch. She decided not to go to the Great Hall for lunch, but wait until the start of term feast that night.
At six-thirty, Harry made his way down to the Great Hall for the feast. The students wouldn't be arriving until seven, but the teachers were to be there early.
Harry sat on Ron's right, as he did at breakfast that morning. Hermione entered the Great Hall shortly after, sitting again on Ron's left. She hadn't looked at Harry and he also tried to keep his eyes from wandering her way. It didn't work; he couldn't help but to look at her.
As the professors entered, Harry found that many that were teaching when he was a student, were still there. Professors Flitwick, Snape, Sinastra, Hagrid, Trelawney (although she wasn't present, but in her office as usual), Binns, and Vektor. Firenze the centaur, also. The newer professors were of course, Hermione, Professor Bagget (the squatty wizard Harry had seen at breakfast), and to Harry's surprise, Neville Longbottom. He is teaching Herbology and is also Head of Hufflepuff, for his third year in a row. He took Professor Sprout's place.
A few minutes past seven, the students began to file into the Great Hall. Hermione left to get the first years and Harry learned that she was Head of Gryffindor house. Ron informed him that she had taken over all of Professor McGonagall's jobs. When Hermione entered the Great Hall with the first years, she was carrying the three-legged stool, with the sorting hat sitting on top. It was the same as always, the hat was to be placed on the student's head and it would shout out which house they were to be in.
Harry remembered most vividly, the moment when he put on the sorting hat. It had seriously considered putting him in Slytherin; it said he would do well in there. But, Harry told the hat he didn't want to be in Slytherin, so it put him in Gryffindor.
The sorting ceremony took place as usual, and when it was over, Professor McGonagall entered the Great Hall. Everyone applauded and then she stood in front of the staff table, to announce the new Headmaster…Ron.
"Settle down, now. Settle down." Everyone went quiet. "Now, as you all may know, I resigned at the end of last year." There were moans from the students. "Listen…Now, since I resigned, it called for me to pick the new Headmaster or Headmistress. And, I'm pleased to inform you, that the new Headmaster of Hogwarts is…Professor Ronald Weasley.
The whole vicinity applauded and started making noise. Apparently Ron was one of the more liked Professors. Harry and the other teachers all clapped too, except for Snape, all he did was sneer at Ron and Harry.
When Ron stood up, the Great Hall went quiet again.
"I am very pleased to be here. But, before I proceed with the usual rules and precautions, I have an announcement to make, also." Everyone was looking at Ron, they didn't know what to expect.
"I had the honor of picking someone, that would be on my side, when I needed them. The new Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts is none other than…Professor Hermione Granger."
The whole place erupted in applause again. Still, Snape wasn't clapping. He was sulking, as if Ron and Hermione didn't deserve this.
"Please…" began Ron again. It went quiet again. "I also have to tell you, that I will no longer be the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor." There were loud moans from the students, and Harry got a little nervous. "But…I am very pleased to say, that I found someone, that I think you will rather enjoy. He has been my friend, for thirteen long years, and had agreed to take the position. Please welcome…Professor Harry Potter."
The whole Great Hall erupted yet again. Ron made Harry stand, and it got even louder. Even the Slytherins were applauding. When Harry sat down, he looked over to his left. Hermione was clapping and smiling. This made him feel a lot better. But, when he looked at Snape, he was sneering again. Harry figured Snape was still trying to land the Defense Against the Dark Arts job, but failed again. When everyone got quiet again, Ron went on with the usual; No student is allowed in the Dark Forest, The caretaker, Mr. Filch has a list of all items not allowed, posted on his office door…etc, etc.
When the feast was over, the students made their way to their house common rooms and the teachers to their offices. When Harry got to his office, he went straight through, to his Dormitory hidden behind it. As soon as he was showered and lay down, he fell asleep. His mind was racing with thoughts of Hermione, he had so many dreams about her, and he thought she was there with him. But, he was disappointed when he woke up next morning, alone, as he had been when he lay down the night before.