The Misfits Camping.
By Young Writer at Large.
Disclaimer: the characters belong to Marvel, this fan fiction to me and my friend.
The Avengers and Loki had woken up just as the dawn was rising, cursing the day they decided to go on their camping day-out, located at some lake, Clint-and-Natasha-the-only-ones-to-know-where. Stark had supplied the team with two jeeps, that where to transport the four men, one woman and two demi-Gods, three tents and a brazier along with each of the named person's personal things. While the two super-assassins got into the driver seats of the jeeps the rest of the team groaned and moaned and went back to sleep in the passenger seats.
An hour and a half later they were woken up by the sudden stop of the jeeps. The scene that awaited their eyes was one to be cherished by every living soul. A cloudless sky and a clear lake, surrounded by a beach and a forest met the Avengers. The summer weather also did not spoil their expectations as it was already getting hot.
As soon as the tents were set up, Thor immediately went to change into his swimming gear, the Asgardian was tempted to try the water. Steve and Clint were fruitlessly trying to set up the brazier, Stark was searching for a basket, determined to collect some non-existent mushrooms that were to be found in the forest and Loki had retrieved a book from his satchel and walked to the shade of a lonely apple tree, randomly standing at the edge of the lake. But the company's attention was suddenly turned to Thor, who had come out wearing swimming-shorts, a blue-red-grey colour and evenly dotted with hammers and lightning bolts. As a result the brazier was dropped onto Clint's foot, who was too shocked to notice the sudden pain, and Stark's smile was immediately deciphered.
Natasha secondly changed into her bikini, which was a bright orange and sighed at the men, who were trying to assemble the brazier. To the help of the manly brutal force came the womanly brutal force, that was still controlled by logic. But the idea was scrapped when the brazier once again fell, having obtained only two legs out of the intended four.
"Steve, can you light a camp fire?" Natasha said, whipping her forehead, already knowing the answer.
"Of course I can!" The super soldier answered.
"The your next challenge is this: Bruce and Clint-collect firewood, Steve-collect stones and rocks to build a barrier for the fire. I'll put away the brazier, well what's left of it anyway."
"And why won't you be taking part in this?" Clint asked his fellow-assassin.
"Because it was you, Steve, Bruce and Tony who had agreed on the damned barbecue in the first place. And if you want, you can try to call Stark over to halp you."
After Natasha disassembled the half-assembled brazier she retreated to find her book and settle by the lake. Once she found the book she selected a spot which was quite close to the lone apple tree. She passed Loki, who was slowly shaking his head while making corrections in the thick book that he was reading. Natasha smiled to herself when she caught sight of the book's name: The full Collection of Norse Mythology. Loki in his turn smiled to himself when he caught sight of Natasha's book:War and Peace-part 1 and 2.
While the Russian spy and the Asgardian god were reading their books and the other demi-god was swimming, Clint and Bruce had returned and had started building the camp-fire with Steve. Stark had returned from the forest to collect his sunglasses, which were apparently irreplaceable in the job of finding mushrooms and had disappeared as quickly as he came.
Suddenly Loki was scared half-to-death by a sea nymph, with golden hair and a muscular chest. This mythical creature was none other than Thor Odinson, who had decided to collect his brother. Loki threw away the remains of what had once been an apple and stared at his brother with annoyance. But this look was soon transformed into to a look of shock.
"Brother! The water is extremely lovely, you must try it!" Thor said in his booming voice as he approached his brother, who had already jumped from the tree and had started to slowly retreat. Just at this moment Natasha had noticed that the camp-fire was built and that Steve and Bruce had started to play Frisbee...with the Captain America Shield, Tony had come back with a basket full of acorns...and was shooting them at Bruce and Steve, and Clint was shooting arrows...into the apples of the tree beside her, pulling each one down to the ground. The woman had stood up to look at this madness in full detail and was still holding her book in her hand. And it just so happened that Thor had grabbed one of Loki's legs, causing him to lose balance and fall, grabbing on to the nearest thing that came to hand. That happened to be Natasha's bikini swimming suit...the bottom part of it.
Natasha, severely shocked, had hit the 'attacker' on the head with her book. This made it all the easier for Thor to pull Loki into the water, as his brother was only half-conscious. After a few minutes Natasha joined the two Asgardians in the lake when Clint had shot down an apple that on it's way down hit her shoulder and a few of Tony's acorns flew of Steve's shield and hit her on the back. But the lake was no better: Loki had tried to get away from his brother to try and drown her instead. In the end there was one massive water fight which started with: I'll kill you you, Romanoff!, was re-enforced with: Go to hell Loki, and was finally ended with a tiresome: Fuck you, Romanova! Fuck. You. Thor had by that time retreated after almost being drowned twice, once by Loki, while he was using Thor's shoulders to 'walk on water' and secondly when he tried to save Natasha from Loki he was pushed under the water by both of them.
After a few hours Natasha and Loki came out of the water, accompanied by Thor, who was complaining that it was far too early to get out. All three regretted coming out of the now-peaceful lake into the misfits' camp. Bruce had retreated to set up his tent because Tony and Steve were fooling around shooting acorns off of Cap's shield and Barton was now shooting pine-cones of the pine trees. It was getting late so it was decided to start the making of the barbecue.
Natasha went to cut vegetables for salad, while Clint, Steve and Tony quarrelled about the many different ways of making the burgers and sausages. Clint had wanted to do the sausages a-la-rus, Tony wanted to fry the burgers with his Iron Man suit, which he had 'forgotten' -cough-was taken out by Pepper-cough, and Steve just wanted to do them American-classical-style. So Clint rushed to get the skewers and Tony was trying to connect to JARVIS through a piece of his hi-tech. The calming relatively-silent silence was suddenly disturbed by Tony's shrieks.
"No! JARVIS! Please! Answer me! JARVIS!" Everyone was lost completely, not understanding what had happened to make Tony so desperate to get JARVIS. That was until Natasha checked her mobile phone and started laughing hysterically. Clint looked at his phone and joined Natasha first until everyone (apart from Thor and Loki, who had no need in the pathetic-mortal-stuff as Loki had put it)checked their screens and found the connection... literally. The screams continued for a long time from the south-western parts of the woods.
When Tony finally calmed down after finding a large bottle of whiskey in one of the bags, the barbecue was half ready. Steve presented his portion to a round of applause as Clint in turn took his place at the fire with his a-la-rus sausages. The cooking of this particular meal was accompanied by an ancient hokey-pokey dance, which was undoubtedly part of the traditional making of the meal. While the Americans and Asgardians watched in wonder Natasha looked at Clint with curiosity and amusement. After Clint ran around the fire with an ancient tribal cry for the third time in the last ten minutes Natasha finally broke into laughter, much to everyone's bewilderment. After rolling on the ground for a good few minutes Natasha, in between fits of laughter, cried out to the poor archer. "Clint Barton, I forgot to tell you that we didn't bring anything to soothe burns!" On hearing that the tribal cries and hisses stopped for barely two seconds, only to be continued with new strength. After another twenty minutes Clint finally brought the remains of the sausages. Out of about 30 sausages only ten or so survived Barton's cooking.
"I never knew you had to sacrifice more than half the food to the Fire in Russian tradition." Tony slipped in his comment. After witch Natasha, once again, burst into fits of laughter and was rewarded by Clint's glare.
"Dear me, miss Romanoff," Loki joined in, "Barton here has sacrificed around twenty sausages a a few of his fingers to the fire to impress you and you reward him with mocking laughter?" Natasha started laughing even more, while Loki started smiling and joined Natasha as soon as he saw Clint's face, which was filled by an angry 'I will kill you' look but could not be taken seriously with his disappointment at his own failure in front of Natasha. When the laughing seemed to get calmer and was reduced to snickering the sights of each other's faces set the God of Mischief and the Assassin off again. After five minutes Clint grabbed Natasha and Thor grabbed Loki before running to the lake and throwing the two of them into it. The laughter aburptly stopped at one end but was now caught at the other end of the camp fire.
When Loki and Natasha came out of the now relatively cold water into the now nippy air the other Avengers had started to pass around the drinks. The rest of the evening went reasonably calmly. That is until they had to decide who sleeps where.
Clint and Natasha instantly took the middle tent as both were used to sharing a bed. Thor took Loki and went into the tent at one , leaving the Hero, the Playboy Philanthropist and Bruce in the biggest tent on the other end of their row of tents.
Clint and Natasha found a few of ear-plugs in their bags kindly provided by Fury. They came in very useful when Thor started snoring and was soon joined by Steve. Bruce was used neutral to Steve's snoring and quickly fell asleep. But Tony was getting pissed off and soon exited the tent after Steve started treating him like a punch bag. Tony peered into the Asgardians' tent to find Loki squished by Thor's steel grip. But apparently Loki was also quite accustomed to this sort of treatment. His last try was Natasha's and Clint's tent. This was probably heaven.
Clint woke up when he felt that either Natasha had grown herself a man's body or that someone else was there. When his eyes focused on Tony Stark's 100 Watt smile, who was gently hugging the archer and the assassin, Clint threw him out, muttering something about Tony being eaten by mosquitoes. Clint then waited to hear Tony retreat to the tent which was harbouring the spirit of Buddhism and Patriotism, before replacing his possessive arm over her waist.
Soon after midnight Loki snapped. He soon realised that he was chocking. Or rather he was being chocked by Thor's iron grip on his lungs. he gathered his remaining strength and teleported out of the tent and started taking deep breaths of air. This wasn't the first time that he was almost chocked to death by his brother in his sleep and probably wasn't the last. Perhaps he could change tents for the night and return in the morning. The only alternative was Natasha's tent. But when he looked in he truly didn't want to disturb the peace inside so he sulked back to his own tent, gathering all the patience he could summon from his body. No sooner had he stepped into the tent as his brother decided to have a dream about killing frost giants. Loki had no time to think of the irony when his legs were grabbed from under him and he fell head first onto the floor, where afterwards Thor decided to rip him into thirty three parts. Perhaps facing Barton wouldn't have been such a bad thing after all.