Horror Struck
He's trying to take the ring!!!!
Flames of anger engulf my heart, my body, and my head as I wrench myself from underneath him. I quickly roll him over and in one swift motion have unsheathed Sting. Its deadly tip is pointed right at his throat, ready to pierce him and silence his treachery forever.
My hand, trembling, has not killed him. Something has stayed my hand. It's something in his eyes. He looks at me with such anguish; such sorrow mixed with something else that I recognize is fear.
A lone tear falls out of his eye. It slides ever so slowly down his cheek and breaks on the cold stone beneath us. "It's me. It's your Sam. Don't you know your own Sam?"
His simple words of love break through the evil that has overpowered me. For a moment I had been unable to see what was in front of me. For a moment I didn't recognize the faithful hobbit that swore to me in a boat that he would never leave my side. It seems like a lifetime ago and yet here is the same hobbit still trying to save me, to help me on this perilous quest, with no thought to his own safety or well-being. He thinks only of me.
The horror of what I have done and what I have nearly done seizes my heart. I stumble backwards and throw Sting away from me as if by doing so I can shake off the evil power of the ring. I don't care where the sword has gone so long as it is out of my hands, unable to hurt another innocent person. My back finally hits a stone pillar and I sink to the ground.
I saw my reflection in his eyes. I saw the hatred in my eyes and the willingness to kill in order to keep the ring in my heart. I saw my own ugliness. I am already in the ring's power. I can deny it no longer.
"I can't do this, Sam."
My voice is barely a whisper and yet in those simple words I have conveyed all that is left in my soul. I am empty. I have nothing left.
I have berated Sam, I have hurt his feelings, and now I've nearly killed him. I nearly killed my Sam, my Sam who has given up so much and would give up even more, even his own life, to save my own. Sam, like his father before him, has served my family loyally and faithfully. I am Sam's master. It is I who am supposed to look after him, to take care of him.
And yet it is he who takes care of me. It is he who has devoted himself heart and soul to me. My gratitude and love for him has no bounds, but in that one instant I became the evil thing I carry. In that one instant I nearly killed him. I see now the awful power of the ring and it has shaken me past all hope. I can barely forgive myself now and could never forgive myself had I indeed killed Sam only a few moments ago. It was selfishness. I never should have let Sam come with me on this journey into the heart of darkness.
Sam starts to speak to me. Even in the midst of all this horror, all this grief, he is still trying to lift of my spirits, to help me finish this quest we started so long ago. His words fill me with hope and drive away the bleak despair that had enveloped me. Even now, even after all this, he is still there for me, my faithful companion. His devotion knows no bounds and he has come to mean more to me than I can express.
Sam is right. What we are holding onto, in the end, is each other. There is good in the world and it is worth fighting for. In his own way, he had tried to make me understand that back on the Great River. He promised Gandalf never to leave me, but it is something he would have done, promise or no, no matter what the personal cost.
I finally raise my head; raise my eyes to met Sam's. It is understood. What happens to me happens to him. There is no blame in his eyes. I only see the love I feel for him and him for me. I know I could never do this without Sam. There is still a long road ahead of us, but so long as we are together we cannot fail.
He's trying to take the ring!!!!
Flames of anger engulf my heart, my body, and my head as I wrench myself from underneath him. I quickly roll him over and in one swift motion have unsheathed Sting. Its deadly tip is pointed right at his throat, ready to pierce him and silence his treachery forever.
My hand, trembling, has not killed him. Something has stayed my hand. It's something in his eyes. He looks at me with such anguish; such sorrow mixed with something else that I recognize is fear.
A lone tear falls out of his eye. It slides ever so slowly down his cheek and breaks on the cold stone beneath us. "It's me. It's your Sam. Don't you know your own Sam?"
His simple words of love break through the evil that has overpowered me. For a moment I had been unable to see what was in front of me. For a moment I didn't recognize the faithful hobbit that swore to me in a boat that he would never leave my side. It seems like a lifetime ago and yet here is the same hobbit still trying to save me, to help me on this perilous quest, with no thought to his own safety or well-being. He thinks only of me.
The horror of what I have done and what I have nearly done seizes my heart. I stumble backwards and throw Sting away from me as if by doing so I can shake off the evil power of the ring. I don't care where the sword has gone so long as it is out of my hands, unable to hurt another innocent person. My back finally hits a stone pillar and I sink to the ground.
I saw my reflection in his eyes. I saw the hatred in my eyes and the willingness to kill in order to keep the ring in my heart. I saw my own ugliness. I am already in the ring's power. I can deny it no longer.
"I can't do this, Sam."
My voice is barely a whisper and yet in those simple words I have conveyed all that is left in my soul. I am empty. I have nothing left.
I have berated Sam, I have hurt his feelings, and now I've nearly killed him. I nearly killed my Sam, my Sam who has given up so much and would give up even more, even his own life, to save my own. Sam, like his father before him, has served my family loyally and faithfully. I am Sam's master. It is I who am supposed to look after him, to take care of him.
And yet it is he who takes care of me. It is he who has devoted himself heart and soul to me. My gratitude and love for him has no bounds, but in that one instant I became the evil thing I carry. In that one instant I nearly killed him. I see now the awful power of the ring and it has shaken me past all hope. I can barely forgive myself now and could never forgive myself had I indeed killed Sam only a few moments ago. It was selfishness. I never should have let Sam come with me on this journey into the heart of darkness.
Sam starts to speak to me. Even in the midst of all this horror, all this grief, he is still trying to lift of my spirits, to help me finish this quest we started so long ago. His words fill me with hope and drive away the bleak despair that had enveloped me. Even now, even after all this, he is still there for me, my faithful companion. His devotion knows no bounds and he has come to mean more to me than I can express.
Sam is right. What we are holding onto, in the end, is each other. There is good in the world and it is worth fighting for. In his own way, he had tried to make me understand that back on the Great River. He promised Gandalf never to leave me, but it is something he would have done, promise or no, no matter what the personal cost.
I finally raise my head; raise my eyes to met Sam's. It is understood. What happens to me happens to him. There is no blame in his eyes. I only see the love I feel for him and him for me. I know I could never do this without Sam. There is still a long road ahead of us, but so long as we are together we cannot fail.