Hey guys. I thought I could post this and see how people like it; it it's worth finishing this story. I don't really have a lot to say since all I can think about is that I'm going to see Dean live tomorrow and I think I'm gonna die XD Have fun. I know I'll have some.
'You again? Maybe we should give you a discount. Wouldn't want you to crash.'
Seth just rolls his eyes and gets out of the Camaro, looking around the garage as casually as he can. 'Dean not here?' he asks, watching Roman open the hood to look at the motor. There's nothing wrong with it – at least nothing that can't be fixed in next to no time.
Jeff, a friend of his who is also obsessed with all kinds of vehicles and loves to work on his own car in his free time, unplugged some cables to give Seth a reason to come here today too.
He's spent more time in Reigns' Garage than at home in the past month, trying very hard to get closer to one of the mechanics again, but either Dean's never there or Roman, the owner's son, is always around – hovering over his co-worker like an overprotective shadow.
It would be cute, and worrisome if Seth hadn't seen him with his little daughter and fiancée already, but in fact it's just bothering him to no end.
He's wasted tons of the money he earns as a barista, whenever he's not studying, to get his Chevrolet fixed over and over. Surely everyone in here knows by now that Seth isn't just a very unlucky car owner.
Roman grins up at him, a light burning in his eyes that Seth doesn't particularly like. It's dangerously close to glee. 'Sorry, Richie Rich, he's out.' 'Stop calling me that,' Seth groans. Just thinking about his almost empty bank account makes him want to cry in a lonely corner.
Dean better start to show some real interest in him or Seth will have to abandon his pursuit. Thank God he got a full scholarship or else he would have to give up his studies, probably begging Roman to give him a job here too.
'Well, you do seem to have too much money if you come here almost every day because of nothing,' Roman mutters, putting the cables back in place after taking just a brief look at the insides of his car. 'Then maybe you should stop charging me,' he counters, eliciting a loud laughter from the man.
'You wish, college boy.' And with that he nods at Seth to get behind the wheel and start the car. God damn, they're already done and Seth still hasn't even seen Dean. His semester break is almost over and then he'll be trapped inside the library or behind a counter again with no chance to constantly remind the other of his intentions.
Who knows what'll happen in the meantime with Dean. What if he finds someone else as long as Seth is back in the city?
'So,' he says, sitting down and turning on the engine. The weird noise from before is gone, just like Jeff had promised. That car is his most treasured possession and he'd go nuts if anything serious happened to her. 'Where is Dean?'
Roman chuckles, closing the hood. 'Nice try, Casanova. You should go now.' Seth shakes his head determined, turning off the motor. He doesn't even know what he could possibly talk about now, how he can justify staying just a little while longer. They're not exactly friends; Dean being the only thing connecting them.
All he wants is see Dean smile and wink at him, while he rubs some oil and dirt off his hands with an equally soiled rag, talking about nothing in particular. Seth doesn't even mind if he blabbers about cars because he could listen to that husky, smooth voice forever. Getting the real deal after so long is so much better than calling Dean's old cell to hear a seven year old voicemail message.
'You could wash her.'
Roman just stares at him, mouth a thin line, eyes burning with fury. 'What?' he grits out through clenched teeth and Seth gets out of his Camaro to take a cautious step back. 'I mean– would you– she's kinda gunky,' Seth stutters, risking his neck with this careless talk. The man comes closer, trapping Seth against his own car, looming dangerously over him. How can he go from Bruce Banner to Hulk faster than the man himself?
'We repair automobiles. We offer paintwork. However, we do not wash lovestruck college kids' cars just because they need a reason to stalk their prey. Who is, I'm sorry to inform you, on a date.'
There is no malice in Roman's words – at least not when he talks about Dean – and for a moment it seems as if he's actually sorry he had to break the news to Seth. The ire vanishes out of the mechanic's eyes and Roman sighs, massaging the bridge of his nose.
'I thought he doesn't do boyfriends anymore,' Seth whispers, knees suddenly very weak and he has to lean against his trunk to not fall to the ground. Roman claps him on the shoulder, an empathetic smile on his lips. To Seth it feels like the end of the world.
'He doesn't.'
What happened to him and Dean? He thought he knew him inside out, but it seems like he misinterpreted every interaction they had since he stumbled over him after years of not seeing each other. He really believed that the warm and gentle spark lighting up Dean's eyes whenever they met meant something.
He's been fooling himself, trying to pick up where they left off. But seven years are a long time and apparently people change.
'What do I owe you?' he murmurs, voice gravelly and shaking, making him sound like he just got his heart broken. It's embarrassing that he shows the mechanic how much those few words hurt him, how they destroyed a fantasy Seth had cherished for so long. Roman pats him on the head and waves his question off. 'This one's on the house.'
Something about how the other said those words make Seth realize that he better not show up at the garage anymore, unless his car really has to be repaired. Just to save himself the agony. He's never liked Roman so much as in this very moment.
'Thank you,' he manages to squeeze out without falling apart at the seams, sitting back into the car with his head held high, even though he's close to breaking point on the inside.
And of course his day just gets worse when a familiar voice rings out, making his heart jump in anticipation and joy, sending a pleasant shiver down his spine.
'Hey Seth,' Dean shouts through the open room, casually walking up to them to lean against his Camaro, looking all dapper as fuck with his washed-out jeans, that black, form-fitting v-neck and his dark gray leather jacket. Dean has no idea what his appearance does to him and thank heavens he's not on his feet anymore or else they would pretty damn sure give out.
'What vital part has fallen off our Black Beauty this time?' he asks as if nothing ever happened, as if he didn't just return from a god damn date with the luckiest person on this awful planet, probably still coming down from the short but hot car sex they had just a few minutes ago, using the fucking possessive pronoun as if they're still teenagers waiting to finally get their driver's license to take the Camaro out for a ride.
He needs to leave before he'll go on a rampage just because someone else got the chance to be Dean's boyf– oh, excuse him, his fuck buddy, cause Dean Ambrose doesn't do boyfriends. Or he simply doesn't do Seth Rollins. How could he ever believe that the friendship they once shared was enough to build a foundation for more?
He doesn't even know Dean anymore, has no idea what happened to him in the meantime, because the man just won't share his secrets. He probably has a fling at each finger, sleeping his way through town; still not caring about what other people think of him, having his fun with whoever he wants to.
Seth was a complete moron to think Dean never was able to forget him either, that his former neighbor and best friend still feels the same for him. He should get out of here and never come back. There are more than enough guys at college that want to date him. Seth guesses that he should give one of them a chance to finally get over Dean. He's wasted his best years to a person that no longer exists.
'Dude, sometimes I think it might be better for you to buy a new car.' Usually he'd answer with something cocky along the lines of and be responsible for you not being able to pay your bills? but he fears he'll either let a car fall down on Dean or start puking as soon as he opens his mouth, so he does the only thing that makes sense to him.
Without even looking at the other two, Seth starts the car and backs up, this time being the one running away as fast as he can. He should call his boss and tell her he's free for the rest of his damn life. His business at home was a complete failure.
Dean blinks confused, looking at him kind of pleadingly. Roman really hates himself for agreeing to this stupid plan in the first place. Seeing Seth that depressed was not something he bargained for. He also feels like he needs a shower now. Lying was never his strong suit and it still makes him feel dirty.
He'll never understand how he could help his best friend with all this. The kid doesn't deserve being treated like that. After everything that has happened, he should finally get what he wanted for so long.
'What's up with Grumpy?' Dean asks, fingers running through his unruly curls. He sighs, already regretting crashing Seth's hopes the way he did. He's never had a way with words like Dean does.
'I told him,' Roman admits, watching his companion take off his jacket and shirt to slip into a shabby tank, ready to start his shift. 'Dean, are you sure you wanna do this?' Because Roman isn't convinced of this God awful plan anymore – never has been, to be honest.
He gets that Dean doesn't want to repeat the past and leave Seth behind without a farewell note, never once calling or writing a post card. But things are different now, aren't they? For one, both of them are a couple of years older. And for two, they're hardly the same kids they were back then anymore.
The only thing that hasn't changed one bit are the feelings they have for one another. Seems like sandbox love really never dies. These two dumbasses just need to see everything for what it really is. If Roman had been around back then, he would've made damn sure they'd fucked it out at least once.
Sadly, he only met Dean roughly two years ago and it took his best friend an almost successful suicide attempt to even talk about his childhood and a kid named Seth.
The look on both of their faces when Seth rolled up into his dad's garage with his beloved car was priceless. He's never seen Dean so lively and at ease.
Roman has no idea why everything went downhill from there.
So he has to do something about it and he's always thought the truth might hurt the most, but it's still better than a lie. 'He genuinely seems to lo–' Dean whips his hear around, gaze hard and unforgiving and the word dies on his tongue. 'Don't say it. It's better this way. I'm no good. He deserves more.'
Dean can try as hard as he wants to, but the only one he's fooling right now is himself. Seth seems to be pretty confident about the things he wants in life and Dean happens to be one of them. Just because his best friend is not able to forgive himself it does not mean that he's not good enough. Whatever that means.
Nobody is perfect, so no need to even try and be.
Roman is not done yet. He hates watching his best friend suffer and he definitely can tell when someone is head over heels in love. He strolls after Dean, who's faking to inspect the underside of the car Roman's currently working on, prodding even further. 'But he wants you. Most likely ever since the beginning of time.'
It's a shot in the dark, but from what Dean has told him so far it does sound like they had more than just an experimental homosexual phase in their teens. Judging by Dean's reaction – head turning away from him, body language screaming leave me alone – he's hit home.
'Ro.' It sounds a bit warningly, but it's nowhere near threatening enough to stop him. Is it that unthinkable that he just wants his best friend, his brother from another mother to be on cloud nine and enjoy the ride? Those two are making this whole thing more complicated than it needs to be.
He hands Dean a screwdriver, watching him look at the car a bit helplessly, unwilling to admit he has no clue what he's supposed to do now, since he has no idea what Roman should repair. That's his cue. 'And you clearly like him too. What's the big deal?'
He really doesn't get it. So Dean ran away a couple of years ago. What matters though is that he came back and Seth found his way into his dad's garage. That's not just some coincidence, that's fate right there.
Dean doesn't try to talk smack at him, just stares into the direction Seth vanished into like he was being chased by the devil himself. Next time he sees the kid, he won't lie for Dean anymore, won't rain on the boy's parade by telling him Dean has no interest in a boyfriend or dates or reconciling with Seth just because his best friend is too afraid to admit he does want all these things.
'I don't deserve him,' Dean murmurs, a lost and sad shimmer in his eyes when he turns around to face Roman. He's known Dean for quite a while now – not nearly as long as Seth but long enough to know what's going on in that brain – however, he still can't understand why Dean thinks so lowly of himself.
What happened in those five years between Dean leaving town and him bumping into Roman, stealing his wallet that changed a carefree, loud-mouthed, bratty teenager into the self-conscious, self-harming person standing in front of him? He still has all these character traits, but if it's about Seth they're all gone.
'Says who?' he asks back, shrugging casually, pointing towards the brakes to show Dean what they need to replace before closing time. The only one standing in the way of this undoubtedly great relationship is Dean, denying himself well-deserved happiness.
And man, would he make that Seth kid the happiest person in the world if he'd be able to jump over his own shadow.
Dean almost throws the screwdriver back into his hand, nostrils flaring, the sarcastic mask finally cracking. Took him long enough. 'Look, I'm a high school dropout,' Dean starts to explain, walking the garage up and down, clearly too much nervous energy flowing through his body.
Roman leans against the wall, watching his friend blow a gasket. It's terrifying and beautiful at the same time.
'I nearly killed myself with an OD last year. My father is in jail for almost killing me and my mother – who died shortly afterwards, cause there was no one paying the bills to keep her hooked to the machines – because he caught me banging Seth in his living room.'
Wow. So, that's what's eating away at Dean all hours of the day. Fuck. He didn't know. He has so many questions now, but Dean doesn't look like he's in the mood to answer even a single one of them.
Like, what happened to Seth, who was right there with him? Why did Dean leave, obviously still wounded and injured and did he even know what was going on with his mom? What kind of father does that to his own family just because his only son is gay?
That does shine some light on a few of Roman's questions, but it still doesn't justify Dean shutting himself off, pushing Seth away even though the boy still wants him – even with their shared past. There aren't that many people accepting others the way they are, the good and the bad, and Seth is a gift. One Dean shouldn't waste.
'There is no place for me in Seth's regulated life anymore and you should stop talking about him if you know what's good for you.' Alright, he can take a hint. But this is far from over. If Roman has to play Cupid, then so be it. Seth has his heart in the right place, even kept Dean's car all those years, faking some problems to come here day after day, so he can get back a tiny bit of the past they once shared.
'Look,' he says, tapping Dean on the shoulder, forcing his friend to look him in the eyes. 'All I'm saying is that you should give the two of you a chance. Don't be so hard on yourself. You've changed and keep proper hours now. You're not a bad person. And if you wait too long, someone else will realize what a great catch he is. Time's ticking, Dee.'
Dean bats his hand away, walking into the office to get something to drink. 'Drop it,' he adds warningly, not even bothering to turn around while talking to him.
His friend has shared more about himself in one hour than he did in the past two years, thought there's still a lot Roman doesn't know. Things Dean keeps from him. However, he's finally opening up; all because Seth walked out on him. It's gonna be a long and bumpy road, but there's still hope for them.
Roman follows his brother, deciding against leaving Dean some space to breathe to drive his point home. 'Dean, you've punished yourself enough already. You're entitled to a normal life too.'
All the fight has left his friend's body, shoulders sagging down, an impatient sigh tumbling out of his mouth. 'I'll think about it.' Now that sounds like a compromise he can accept. He walks up to Dean and hugs him close, taking advantage of the distraught state of his brother. Otherwise Dean wouldn't accept his affections in public.
'That's my man.'