Kiss the Girl
A/N:
A song-fic written for ginnypotter22's "The Last Sentence Challenge." Thought I should also mention that the distribution of the lyrics in this fic is kind of funky, because most of the lyrics really resonate in the final moments of the story…so really each chunk is separated by a few lines rather than paragraphs. Just wanted you to know that it was intentional ;)
Lyrics from "Kiss the Girl" – Little Mermaid
Percussion
Strings
Winds
Words
It was a warm, beautiful day. The weather was just right, being neither too hot nor too cold. The sun shone brightly overhead, but not blindingly so. Passersby nodded or smiled slightly at him as he walked by, some of them even bidding him a good day, which was really quite rare, especially in this part of London. Especially during such dark times. Yet there it was. Beautiful day, friendly people. And Remus Lupin was walking hand in hand with a one—albeit uncharacteristically quiet—Miss Nymphadora Tonks. It all seemed quite perfect and wonderful, except for the fact that they were walking home from Albus Dumbledore's funeral.
Remus glanced down between himself and Dora—she was absently running her thumb along his knuckles, gently stroking them in a back and forth motion. She had been doing this for quite some time, and had been holding his hand even longer, since the beginning of the service. His palm was feeling quite sweaty now.
Not that he was complaining or anything. Remus considered himself lucky to be in the company of Tonks. Dora. Nymphadora. He quite preferred her full first name to any other name she went by, but she snapped at him whenever he dared to use it, insisting that Tonks was a much cooler name. But he didn't like calling her by her surname—it felt impersonal, as if he were distancing himself from her. And so a compromise had been reached; he called her Dora. The only other people who had the privilege to use that name were her parents. Remus felt incredibly privileged. Undeservingly so.
Of course, Dora felt otherwise, and their whole clashing viewpoints of what he, Remus, deserved, had become the source of much conflict for them. They were reconciled now, obviously (hence the hand holding and the walking together in awkward silence), but deep down Remus still held fast to his opinions on the matter. He was just too old for her. Too poor, too dangerous.
But she couldn't see it. She refused to see it and ended up exploding all over him a few days ago. And of course, it had to happen at the most inopportune moment: in the aftermath of the battle they fought in Hogwarts against the death eaters. They were all in the hospital wing visiting a severely injured Bill Weasley and had found out that Dumbledore had been killed. It was a very emotional moment for everyone. Dumbledore gone, Molly Weasley weeping over her son, thinking he was now too unattractive to marry, Bill's fiancée Fleur Delacour exclaiming that she didn't care if her husband was contaminated by a werewolf…
And at the mention of werewolves, all hell broke loose.
He replayed the memory in his head over and over; so many things had happened in the space of a few minutes. Anxious and guilty as he sat with Bill, wondering just how badly he would be affected by the bites given to him by one of his own kind. Paralyzed with shock in the next moment, hearing about Dumbledore. Unbridled hatred for Severus Snape for his crimes. And anxiousness revisited when they began talking about Bill again and Dora made her very public confrontation, declaring that she didn't care what he was and that his personal insecurities were no excuse to distance himself from her.
She had managed to shake some sense into him (literally—she had actually torn his robes a little when she grabbed him). They arrived at the funeral around the same time this morning and so they talked. First about the weather and how the dirt road leading to Hogsmeade was very dry due to the lack of rainfall, and then abruptly they shifted to talking about their dilemma, or as Dora had put it, "the delusional excuse of a dilemma you've got."
In the end he gave up. He just couldn't make her care about the repercussions of their relationship. She was crazy and reckless (like a true Black, Remus always thought) and she just didn't care. He had tried being the sensible one, the rational one. Sure, it had hurt him to do so, because who was he kidding? He did love her, more than Dora could possibly know. But she wouldn't stand for any of his reasoning, so he had given in. He was too tired to fight her; too tired to fight himself. And so he was resigned now to give their relationship a try, to see if they would be as happy as he feared they'd be.
"You do love me, don't you Remus?"
Startled by the sound of her voice, Remus jumped slightly. They had been walking silence for about ten minutes now.
"What?" he stared down at her curiously. She was several inches shorter than him and was glancing up at him dubiously.
She shrugged. "You haven't said a word since we left. Are you agreeing to tea with me just to shut up me over this whole be-my-boyfriend business? I mean, if you don't really want to—I mean, I thought you did, but if you really do want to then—"
Remus smiled for the first time in many days. "Of course I do. I'm sorry, I was just…thinking, that's all."
She rolled her eyes as they reached her flat. "You think way too much, Remus. Always thinking, never doing."
Dora unlocked the front door and entered. Remus followed. "Well it's lucky for me that I have you now to help me with that."
"You've always had me," Dora replied with a grin, looking over her shoulder to see Remus, "I made that pretty clear a long time ago. But in any case, I suppose you're right. I am at your service."
"You're going to have your work cut out for you, I'm afraid to say." Remus replied as he followed her into the living room area and took a seat next to her on the sofa. He had been to her flat so many times since meeting her two years ago that all ceremony of waiting for a request to be seated was now gone.
"It took me a year to break you. I know about all the work involved." She replied with a wink.
Touché, Remus thought grimly. She was a tough one, that Dora. Dragon hide had nothing on her.
There were a few moments of silence where they just sat there, alternating between smiling at each other and staring at their hands. So they were finally a couple, Remus thought to himself nervously. They were going to try the dating thing. Make pleasant conversation and connect with each other. And maybe get intimate—Remus felt his insides turn. Certainly he had thought about Dora for many months—enjoying meals with her, snuggling under a blanket together on a cold night—but he had scarcely allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to really touch her, to taste her, it felt indecent at the time. But now...there was a very real possibility that those fantasies would be realized. And as they sat there only inches away from each other, kissing seemed dangerously imminent.
Remus glanced up again to meet Dora's gaze. Their eyes locked and for an instant Remus thought the moment had arrived. But then—
"Tea?" Dora asked, standing up abruptly.
There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl
"Alright." He replied, letting himself slump against the sofa as Dora went over to the kitchen to prepare tea.
Remus craned his neck to watch Dora's petite figure make its way to the kitchen. She opened up an overhead cupboard and reached on her tiptoes to get a tea kettle.
"Do you need any help?" he asked, standing up and taking a tentative step away from the sofa.
"No, no! I'm fine!" she replied hurriedly, falling back on her heels and dropping the kettle on the kitchen counter with a loud clang. "Just sit back…take it easy."
Remus smiled as he fell back into his seat. He was always the one telling her to take it easy. Not that she was high strung or anything; just that her high spirited tendencies compounded by her clumsiness around breakables simply warranted the occasional "Take it easy, Tonks!" from him. And now she was throwing the phrase back at him. As if he really needed to be told to take it easy…
He leaned back on the sofa, making himself comfortable in his efforts to take it easy. Except the leather of the sofa rubbing against his pants made an awkward squelching sound that could have passed for a noisy bodily function.
Dearly hoping that Dora was too preoccupied with her tea making to have heard anything, he glanced over his shoulder again to watch her. She had her face screwed up in concentration with her wand at the ready, as if she were preparing to duel the tea kettle.
"Calentalus." She muttered, tapping the kettle with her wand. A moment later steam began to rise out of the spout. "All done!!" she said cheerily, turning to Remus and grinning.
He couldn't help but smile back. She was very cute when she attempted to do simple household tasks with magic. Moments later she reappeared by his side with the kettle, placing it on the coffee table in front of them.
"Alright, there we are!" She said, beaming. She fell seated next to Remus but almost instantly jumped up again. "Forgot the cups!"
As Dora ran back into the kitchen to retrieve the cups, muttering something about being an idiot, Remus's gaze followed her once more. There was something so enjoyable about watching her running around in a slightly frantic state. Perhaps because it was all for him, and it made him feel wanted, a feeling he was not accustomed to amongst most company. In any case, watching her fuss over their little tea party only made him keener on having her sit with him.
"Alright," Dora said as returned with two small teacups dangling from her fingers. "Here we go." She placed the teacups on the table with another loud clang. Yet Remus was only remotely aware of the obnoxious sound it had made; he was focusing most of his attention on Dora and the way she daintily lifted the tea kettle—one hand wrapped around the handle and the other holding down the lid—as she poured tea for them. Why were every single one of her actions excruciatingly pleasing to watch?
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It's possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl
They sat in silence, sipping their tea. It was rather unsettling, Remus thought, as she was usually one of the chattiest people he knew. Yet she was hardly to blame— he knew her silence was partly due to him. They had agreed that they would try the whole couple thing. She pushed him and he finally, grudgingly caved in. And now she was suddenly uneasy by him, which really shouldn't have come as a surprise for Remus, considering how plain he made it to Dora that he was wary about their relationship. Wariness was curiously contagious, almost as much as recklessness was. And now, Remus thought sadly, he had made his Dora wary too. She sat up straight in her seat, sipping her tea daintily in the manner of a five year old having an imaginary tea party. Part of him wanted to ease the tension and kiss her…hold her…talk to her…and it wasn't really that hard, was it? She was sitting right next to him, only inches apart. Hell, she was even leaning in towards him a little…
A siren went off in Remus's head. She wanted to be kissed, didn't she?
"So, does it taste alright?" she asked quietly, smiling at him. It was a shy sort of smile he had seldom seen on her, with her head bowed slightly so her eyes shifted upwards to gaze at him, making her look—Remus could hardly find the words to describe it—innocent, cherubic, even younger than she really was.
She leaned again ever so slightly towards him and Remus immediately made for his teacup.
"Yes, it tastes perfect." He replied quickly, taking another sip of tea. "You've really got that steaming charm down then, haven't you?"
Pulling herself away from Remus and take her own teacup between her fingers, Dora nodded. "I suppose."
Remus sighed inwardly. He was a disgrace to the name of Gryffindor.
Sing with me now
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't that sad
Ain't it shame, too bad
You gonna miss the girl
Oh, he was completely gutless. Memories of Sirius and James taunting him in their schooldays at his failed attempts to ask out girls for fear of rejection flashed in front of him. The sorting hat's suggesting he would be well-suited for Ravenclaw rather than Gryffindor also came to mind. He was not a brave person. Fighting for important causes, taking on evil wizards...he had no problem with. Hurting bad people was fine with him. It was his fear of hurting good people that made him feel cowardly. Still, he hadn't been put in Gryffindor for nothing. He could recover. He could salvage the moment.
Remus set his teacup down and forced a smile at Dora. "Do you remember when we first met?"
To his relief, she grinned. "God, how can I not? You had walked into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and I was helping Sirius put away dishes…"
At the memory, Remus tried to suppress a laugh. "And you were holding a huge stack of plates…"
Dora blushed, the sight of which made Remus long for her even more. "And when Sirius introduced us, you extended your hands out"—
"To offer you help in carrying the plates." Remus cut in.
"I thought you were trying to hug me or something!" Dora exclaimed, burying her head in her hands now, laughing. "It scared the hell out of me! I was like, what the bloody hell is this bloke trying to pull? What is he, another long lost relative?"
"So your instant reaction was to just drop the plates on our feet?" he asked, now laughing as well.
Still laughing, she shrugged. "Again, you scared me! It was a reflex! I thought you were going to invade my personal space!"
Remus took another sip of tea. "More like Moody every day, aren't you?"
Dora rolled her eyes in response. "It wasn't out of paranoia. I get like that—all deer-in-the-headlights—when intimidatingly sexy men approach me."
Remus had been about to take another sip, but paused when he brought the cup to his lips. He glanced at her, cocking an eyebrow skeptically. "Intimidating? Really?"
"I think it's your hair. You have intimidatingly sexy hair."
It was hard to tell if she was being serious, as she was blushing furiously, but laughing and shaking her head amusedly at the same time. Still, intimidatingly sexy…and from the fearless Nymphadora Tonks herself…That had to be a good thing.
Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl
Several minutes into the conversation, Dora snorted into her tea. "You didnot find me attractive the day we met. You're such a liar, Remus. "You're just saying that to make it like we're equally sexy or something so I can feel better about myself. Good lord."
Remus could not help but laugh at the accusation. "I did indeed find you attractive the day we met. Maybe not in the first few minutes, what with the plate-dropping incident—"
"Naturally." She murmured in agreement, nodding her head.
"But in the moments after—in those first few hours you, Sirius and I spent together—I knew you were a unique woman. You were just so…different." Remus said.
She made a face at him in response. "Different from you, yes. And for that I could've sworn you hated me when we met…I really convinced myself you did because we were so different."
Remus frowned. "How could I have hated you? What is there to hate?" he asked, trying to ignore the lovely shade of crimson Dora was turning at his comment in order to focus on the matter at hand.
"Well," she began, grinning again, "I'm so…loud."
Remus smiled wryly. "Acoustically or visually?"
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Both. I'm loud in every way, aren't I? Obnoxiously so, as Scrimgeour's always saying. Anyway, you're just the opposite aren't you? That's what I thought almost immediately after we met. You were just so…calm and collected. And you looked liked the very epitome of propriety…and conservativeness. Don't get me wrong," she added quickly, "I liked it and all, but I figured you couldn't stand me for being so different from you. Obviously I was wrong." She finished, grinning at him.
"That you were." Remus replied, deciding to take another sip of his now cold tea. "I think it was the contrast between us that drew me to you. You and your loud hair"—and without thinking, he reached forward with his free hand and ran it through her bright pink hair.
For a moment he saw her go stiff, but almost instantly her countenance relaxed as she smiled and bowed her head slightly towards him so he could more easily stroke her head.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You wanna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Float along
Listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You wanna kiss the girl
He slowly pulled his hand away from her, dropping it to his side. He smiled ruefully at her. Dora in return, frowned.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
He sighed, bowing his head and shifting slightly in his seat. He looked directly at her. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I delayed the beginning of our relationship for so long. Who knows where we could have been right now if it hadn't been for my cowardice?"
Dora leaned forward a little and rested her hands on his. "You're not a coward—"
But he shook his head and cut her off. "I am. I am, and I have to feel the shame of it. I'm afraid of hurt and I let my fear of hurting us get in the way. I'm so sorry, Dora. I took so much time from us…"
She smiled, still leaning closer. "You were worth the wait."
You've got to kiss the girl…
Remus gulped, and briefly wondered how audible his gulping been, considering how anxious he was feeling. She thought he was worth it. And the way she had said it…so quietly yet so firmly. And the look in her eyes had only fueled his desire for her even more.
Why don't you kiss the girl…
Her hand had somehow made its way to his thigh and Remus found himself very thankful that he wasn't holding his teacup and saucer, as they would probably be rattling uncontrollably in his hands. But no matter. There were more pressing matters to deal with at the moment; her hand was on his thigh and he felt the pressing need to touch her as well.
You gotta kiss the girl…
She was only inches away from him. He only needed to move forward a little in order to reach the utopia that was Dora's lips. He was drawn to them like a pair of magnets—he could almost feel his own lips shaking from anticipation of being pressed against the soft pink mouth he had been aching to taste for so long. It was going to be amazing, their kiss. Long and slow, but taken over by passion within moments. It would be one of those perfect kisses. He just knew it…
Go on and kiss the girl…
A loud banging noise sounded, causing Remus and Dora to jump back from one another. They both looked to the door.
"It's Kingsley, Tonks!" came a slow, deep voice from behind the door.
Remus glanced sideways at a shocked-looking Dora. She slowly stood up and circled around the sofa to make her way to the door, muttering obscenities under her breath. It wasn't until she had disappeared out of his sight that Remus realized he was breathing heavily. He fell back against the sofa and sighed, closing his eyes.
When he opened them, Dora had reentered the living room followed by Kingsley, who said hello to Remus when he caught sight of him.
"Listen, Remus," Kingsley began as he and Dora seated themselves, "I've been talking with a few people from the Order—Moody, Minerva, Arthur, Molly—and we decided we ought to abandon Grimmauld Place as headquarters—"
"What?" Dora interjected immediately, raising her eyebrows in surprise.
"Dumbledore was the secret keeper, remember?" Remus reminded her, now frowning as the facts dawned on him. "The Fidelius Charm which guarded the house may have lifted with his death."
"Exactly." Kingsley replied. "Old Flitwick said that would be the case. It's no longer safe there, so the others have already gone to check in there—make sure we haven't left anything important behind. I just wanted to fill you guys in right away. Lucky you were both here."
And for a moment Remus thought he had seen Kingsley throw a wink at him before continuing.
"Right then. I'll be on my way soon, but we need to talk about some matters regarding this headquarters dilemma…"
And as Kingsley continued talking, Remus forced himself to pay attention and offer his own comments as necessary. The moment was gone. But Remus had to admit he wasn't terribly disappointed. He smiled at his Dora as Kingsley talked on; they both knew that despite momentarily missing their chance, the moment that had just passed was something special. It wasn't perfect, nothing is. But it was fairly close.
