Disclaimer: I do not, and never will own any of these wonderful characters.
"Oh come on, Bella. It will be fun!" Alice beamed, bouncing slightly as she tried to persuade me.
"No, Alice. Whenever I played truth or dare in Phoenix, I always got the worse dares. No means no." I tried to hide the sadness in my voice.
"Okay then. If we agree that we won't give you the worse of the dares, will you play?"
"I will consider it." I joked, smiling slightly. She grinned.
"We promise to give you reasonable dares that will not harm you…much or endanger your life. Now will you play with us?" Her eyes lit up.
I groaned, "Fine." She clapped and dragged me into the passenger seat of her Porsche.
There was a comfortable silence in the car as she drove to Casa Del Cullen. It seemed as though she could sense I was nervous, because Alice reassured me.
"Don't worry. Everything that gets broken always gets replaced. And no one really gets hurt. Although, we get very involved in our dares. Did you know vampires love truth or dare?" She grinned. I laughed slightly.
"No, I didn't. But I do now." I returned her grin. I looked out of the window and realized we were turning in the driveway to their mansion.
When Alice parked, she was out of the car before I could blink. I shrugged, climbed out of the passenger door, but before I could close it myself, Alice slammed it for me, practically dragging me to the front door. I frowned at her eagerness. She simply giggled.
She opened the door and I walked into the living room, my eyes scanning the room for Edward. When I saw him grinning in the corner, I sprinted to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He seemed a little taken aback, but he chuckled and hugged me.
"Good morning, my Bella." He said in his velvety voice.
"Good morning, my Edward." I replied.
We walked over to the rest of the Cullen's who were sat in a circle in the middle of the living room. Esme was next to Carlisle. Emmett was next to Rosalie, who was next to Jasper, who was next to Alice. The only remaining space was between Alice and Carlisle. I sat down next to Carlisle, Edward next to me.
"Okay. Let the games begin." Emmett boomed for effect. I glared at him as it shook the house.
"Rosalie, I think you should start." Alice said, pointing at her adopted sister. Rosalie grinned, flexed her fingers and turned to face Emmett.
"Emmett, truth or dare?"
He scowled, "Dare." He said confidently.
Edward laughed, obviously having heard Rosalie's plan in her head. Rosalie grinned evilly and rubbed her hands together. "Emmett, I dare you to declare that you are in love with Mike Newton. Bella can we please borrow your phone?" Rosalie asked me sweetly.
I reached into my pocket and threw my phone at her, which she caught. "You are to call Mike - the number is programmed into Bella's phone - and you are to declare that you love him, and then you are to propose to him." She finished her dare, grinning and looking quite proud of herself. Emmett sat wide eyed, his mouth open. Rosalie handed him my phone, and he reluctantly searched my contacts for Mike. Clicking the call button, he pressed loudspeaker and held the phone in front of him. Everyone was silent to listen in.
"Hello?" Mike's vile voice rang through the room.
"Mike? This is Emmett Cullen."
"Err…hold on Jessica, Cullen is on the phone. What do you want, Emmett?"
He sighed in defeat and pretended to declare. "Mike Newton, I am in love with you. Ever since the day my family and I moved to Forks, I have loved you. You are the star of my dreams every night, and you are constantly in my thoughts. I love you with all of my heart, and if you would be so inclined, would you please take my hand in marriage?"
Neither of the Cullen's could stifle laughs much longer, and the room shook with laughter. I clutched my sides in fear they might split if I laughed much more. The room instantly quieted when Mike's shrill voice muffled the laughter.
"What? You want to m-marry me?" There was a loud thump on the other end, and I immediately thought of Jessica.
"Yes, I love you, Mike Newton."
"Well…Uhh…this is awkward. I would say I love you too, but…I don't."
I burst into laughter. This was my cell phone, so when Emmett rang, Mike was hoping it was me. However it turned out as my soon-to-be brother. It was quite funny to comprehend. Everyone else, excluding Emmett, joined in my hysterical laughter.
"You don't love me?! Mike Newton, you broke my heart! How could you?!" Emmett screamed. Suddenly Alice's words rang in my head.
"Although, we get very involved in our dares"
I placed a hand over my mouth to muffle my laughter. It didn't work much, but it was better than nothing.
Emmett pretended to sob into the phone, getting louder gradually. If the Cullen's had any neighbours, I'm sure they would have asked us to calm down by now.
"Mike Newton, I hate you! I'm going to go and sob uncontrollably and think of how much I used to love you. Goodbye!" He slammed the phone shut and a grin spread across his face. He looked very smug. He handed me back my phone, and I cheered for him. He bowed playfully.
"Okay. Rosalie, truth or dare?"
She seemed very confident with her decision, "Dare."
Edward read his mind and snickered loudly. I looked at him confused. "What?"
"Nothing…just listen." He stifled a laugh.
"Someone get me one dice." Emmett said. Alice, having seen what he was going to do earlier, handed him a dice and he beamed. He shook it in his hand, then let it go. It bounced across the floor, finally landing on six dots. Emmett grinned.
"6 days." Emmett said.
"6 days of what?"
Edward burst out laughing.
"6 days without sex."
Rosalie sat with her eyes wide open, mimicking Emmett's expression earlier. Then her eyes narrowed, and she hissed, "That's impossible."
Emmett just laughed.
"You will regret this, Emmett McCarty Cullen. Trust me." She glared at him and accepted her challenge. It was going to be a long 6 days for her.
"Carlisle, truth or dare?" Edward blurted. When I looked at him confused, he simply grinned and shook his head.
"Dare." Carlisle seemed hesitant, but he obviously didn't want to be the first player to ask for a truth.
"I dare you to go change into your doctor's outfit, and then stand in the middle of the living room and strip. Alice, if you will." Alice grinned, placed a CD into the CD player, and on came some stripper music. If vampires could blush, Carlisle would be blushing furiously right now.
He crossed his arms over his chest defensively, but gave up. "Esme, help."
"Sorry, Carlisle. But come on! Its not like I haven't seen you." She smiled sweetly, obviously intending on embarrassing poor Carlisle. He glared, went upstairs and came down a few minutes later wearing his doctor's outfit. I blushed and buried my head in Edward's chest, not wanting to watch my future father strip.
After a few minutes, Carlisle was fully dressed again and the music had stopped. Rosalie was merely shocked. Emmett had a disgusted expression on his face. Alice had a poker face and Jasper was fidgeting. However, Edward was shaking with laughter. I just looked confused. Esme looked at her husband lovingly.
I cleared my throat. "That was…awkward. Can we do another dare now? I don't really want to think of my future father's dare much more. Its making me uncomfortable." I whispered. Edward chuckled.
"Well, Bella, love. Truth or dare?"
I scowled at him through narrow eyes, "Dare."
I really wanted to say truth, because I was honestly too scared to think of what I would be about to do. But neither did I want to be a chicken in front of my future family, considering they would not let me forget it for the rest of eternity.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him, "Wait! No, I want truth. Sorry I'm really chicken." I admitted, blushing. Edward rolled his eyes, and for a second, he was completely still, thinking of my question, most likely.
"Do you own a thong?" He asked me casually. I stared at him like he had sprouted a second head.
"What kind of question is that?" I asked, going bright red.
"Just answer me." He smiled.
I took advantage of his silence by scanning the room at his family. They looked just as astonished as I did. I gulped.
"I…Uhh…Yes." I flushed immediately. I heard Edward growl as he looked at Emmett, no doubt imagining me wearing one.
"Who bought you it?" Edward asked sweetly.
"Alice." I mumbled, barely inaudible, hoping he wouldn't hear me. His family burst into laughter, including Alice. I blushed more, if that was possible.
"And why did my sister buy you a thong?" He smirked.
"Oh do I really have to say?" I groaned.
Alice had dragged me out shopping when she found out I was engaged to Edward. She took me to Victoria's Secret and forced me into the changing rooms with a pile of lingerie, and in that pile happened to be a red lacy thong. I tried it on, and surprisingly, it fit really well. When I told Alice, she was convinced that I wanted it, and bought it for me. I tried to persuade her that I couldn't possibly be seen in a thong, but she wouldn't change her mind. It is safely hidden away at the bottom of my underwear drawer at home.
"Yes," He beamed.
I groaned and told him the story. Minus the part where it is. He grinned when I finished. As if he was reading my mind, he chuckled and his eyes showed that he was looking for a challenge, "I will find it, you know. What do you think I do whilst I watch you sleep?"
"Edward! You look through my underwear??" I was in shock.
I wasn't sure if he heard me through the hysterical laughter of his family.
I glared at him and the laughing toned down. I got an idea.
"Edward, truth or dare?"
He thought for a minute, "Truth." He finally said. I heard Emmett and Jasper booing him and he gave them angry glances.
I thought about my question for a moment, to think to the perfect truth to get out of him. Something I didn't already know about vampires. Something I didn't know about their vampire powers. Something that only vampires should and would know about. Then it hit me. The perfect way to embarrass him in front of his whole family, and his 'parents'. I grinned. I could be so evil when I tried. I thought about how to word the question, then blurted it when he seemed distracted.
"Edward, when was the last time you pleasured yourself?" I asked it as if I were merely asking the time. He looked displeased at my question but I only smiled.
"Well?" I prompted when he didn't answer.
He sighed in defeat, closed his eyes and looked at the floor, "I haven't in a while. When you've been alive for so long, and you never sleep, you sometimes need a distraction from real life. And sometimes…that's the only thing that springs to mind. So, to answer your question," he paused and sighed, "it was…Saturday."
I choked back a gasp: that was the day he was with me. That was the day we went to the movies. That was the day he drove me home. That was the day he had that mysterious twinkle in his eyes. I couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped my throat this time. He looked at me apologetically. Jasper fidgeted, obviously remembering the day. Obviously remembering the emotions that were coming off Edward at his time of need. I giggled.
"What are you laughing at?" Edward asked suspicious.
"Its just hard to comprehend. It just doesn't seem that vampires are able to do that stuff, like…you're full of venom. How does it work? Y'know the…" I couldn't finish before the laughing started again. I felt my cheeks go hot as I realized I was discussing the subject of masturbation with my fiancé in front of his entire family. I had completely forgot about them.
Now it was Edward's turn to laugh. Then he explained what I never got to finish, "Its not really that different to a human's. Its just more sticky. And it's not white either…" He trailed off, grinning at his family who sat looking very uncomfortable. I blushed again.
"You two are still virgin's right?" Emmett asked. Rosalie hit him on the arm, but Edward looked amused.
I nodded.
Edward nodded two.
"Oh, then you wouldn't know how good it feels. Whenever I see Rosalie before me, my eyes scan her naked body as a surge of pleasure electrifies through me, and when I hear her moan my name in pleasure, it never gets old. Her voice is music to my ears and I can't help but smile as she screams my name and-"
I blushed a new shade of red, and I glanced over at Edward, who was pinching the bridge of his nose, squirming slightly. I looked over to Jasper, who was whistling to himself, obviously trying to distract himself from feeling Emmett's lust. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Rosalie smile sheepishly and look away immediately. The room was silent.
"Sooo…Uhh…can we get back to the game now?" I asked in hope that the game would continue and no more awkward moments would ensue. All of the Cullen's, of course not including Emmett, nodded and looked at Alice. She tensed.
"Alice, truth or dare?" Edward smiled.
"Umm…dare." She said hesitantly.
Then we watched as Alice's eyes went vacant, and clear. Then she grimaced. Edward laughed.
"Alice Mary Brandon Whitlock Cullen, I dare you to let Bella dress you for 3 days." I stared at Edward, shocked, and then risked glancing over at Alice. She was fuming. I tried to hide my humiliation.
"No," she glared.
"You have to. It's a dare." Edward pressed. She glared.
"Fine," She looked at me, "But nothing ugly. Promise?"
I sighed, "I promise."
She smiled and accepted her challenge. Then she grinned at Jasper. He stiffened.
"Jasper, honey, truth or dare?"
He gritted his teeth together, "Dare."
"Jasper Whitlock Cullen, I dare you to drink a gallon of milk." She had a smug smile on her face. I gasped in shock. Human food and drink was bad for vampires. Jasper seemed taken aback, but then he grumbled and went to the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a very big carton of milk. He unscrewed the top, hesitated as he brought the rim to his lips, then he closed his eyes, held his nose and swallowed all the milk. I watched in shock as some of the milk dripped down his mouth and chin. When the entire gallon had been consumed, Jasper dropped the carton, wiped his lips with the back of his hand and looked sadly at the family.
He looked ill already. He was going to have to puke the milk back up tomorrow and I didn't really want to be there when that process was happening. We only had Esme's dare to go before the game was finished.
Jasper smiled at his mom despite his ill state. "Esme, truth or dare?"
She snorted, "Dare."
He smiled, "Do 5 push-ups."
She eyed him suspiciously. "That's too easy."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is. Anyone can do push-ups. Its exceptionally easy when you're a vampire." She spat.
"I think we should drive to Charlie's house, knock on his door, and ask him if he has seen your bra. We'll be watching in the tree in the back yard; it has a great view of the kitchen." I blurted absentmindedly. The family exchanged glances in my direction, then Edward kissed me forcefully, sending the sofa toppling backwards. He fell with me and sofa.
Emmett roared with laughter, and soon the rest of the family joined in. It was quite ironic. Only I could send us both falling as he kissed me. After all the years, I had never gotten used to his lips against mine. I struggled free against the sofa's tug, and when I sat up, the sofa flipped forward, hitting the floor with a crash. Edward grinned at me.
"Nice plan, Bells." Carlisle beamed at me. I nodded sheepishly and blushed. Esme sighed in frustration, grabbed the Mercedes car keys, and headed out to the garage. We followed eagerly. She started the engine in the Mercedes and we all climbed inside. It was a small car, so we were squashed slightly, but it didn't matter; I was squashed against Edward.
Esme was in the drivers seat, Carlisle in the passengers, Me and Edward sharing the right window seat, Alice in the middle seat, Jasper on the left window seat, and Emmett and Rosalie in the two extra seats in the back. Esme drove quickly to my house, parking silently outside. We all hopped out, and Edward helped me up the tree to get a good view of the action. The rest of the family - minus Esme - joined me.
Esme knocked on the door, and I could see Charlie get up from the couch and open the door. Esme smiled sweetly at him, and asked the question.
"Sorry to bother you Chief Swan, but I was just wondering if you've seen my bra? Its black, with red lace around the edges. Its quite small?" She batted her eyelashes, and Charlie stood speechless. I bit my lip to stop from laughing. After a few moments of silence, Charlie spoke.
"Umm…sorry Mrs. Cullen, I haven't. Have a nice evening." He smiled awkwardly and shut the door. Esme looked proud of herself. I burst into laughter and jumped down from the tree. Edward was scared I would fall, so he jumped with me to catch me if needed. I smiled at him and kissed him softly.
Edward held my hand on the way to the car, and I rested my head on his shoulder. I yawned and felt two hands lift me up, bridal style, and carry me to the car. We sat in the same seat; me sitting on his lap, and I snuggled close into his chest. I felt my eyelids droop and I glanced at Jasper, who shrugged.
I yawned and closed my eyes. Edward wrapped his granite arms around me and pulled me against him - like I was a precious toy and he was the little kid. Then again, my clumsiness was a bit of a problem. I found it impossible to walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip on and fall over.
I hugged Edward's neck with my free hand, and he stroked my hair, kissing my head. He began humming my lullaby in my ear softly, almost inaudibly. I felt myself slip into dreamland, and within minutes, I was asleep.
"Well, Bella, love. Truth or dare?"
I scowled at him through narrow eyes, "Dare."
I really wanted to say truth, because I was honestly too scared to think of what I would be about to do. But neither did I want to be a chicken in front of my future family, considering they would not let me forget it for the rest of eternity.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him, "Wait! No, I want truth. Sorry I'm really chicken." I admitted, blushing. Edward rolled his eyes, and for a second, he was completely still, thinking of my question, most likely.
"Do you own a thong?" He asked me casually. I stared at him like he had sprouted a second head.
"What kind of question is that?" I asked, going bright red.
"Just answer me." He smiled.
I took advantage of his silence by scanning the room at his family. They looked just as astonished as I did. I gulped.
"I…Uhh…Yes." I flushed immediately. I heard Edward growl as he looked at Emmett, no doubt imagining me wearing one.
"Who bought you it?" Edward asked sweetly.
"Alice." I mumbled, barely inaudible, hoping he wouldn't hear me. His family burst into laughter, including Alice. I blushed more, if that was possible.
"And why did my sister buy you a thong?" He smirked.
"Oh do I really have to say?" I groaned.
Alice had dragged me out shopping when she found out I was engaged to Edward. She took me to Victoria's Secret and forced me into the changing rooms with a pile of lingerie, and in that pile happened to be a red lacy thong. I tried it on, and surprisingly, it fit really well. When I told Alice, she was convinced that I wanted it, and bought it for me. I tried to persuade her that I couldn't possibly be seen in a thong, but she wouldn't change her mind. It is safely hidden away at the bottom of my underwear drawer at home.
"Yes," He beamed.
I groaned and told him the story. Minus the part where it is. He grinned when I finished. As if he was reading my mind, he chuckled and his eyes showed that he was looking for a challenge, "I will find it, you know. What do you think I do whilst I watch you sleep?"
"Edward! You look through my underwear??" I was in shock.
I wasn't sure if he heard me through the hysterical laughter of his family.
I glared at him and the laughing toned down. I got an idea.
"Edward, truth or dare?"
He thought for a minute, "Truth." He finally said. I heard Emmett and Jasper booing him and he gave them angry glances.
I thought about my question for a moment, to think to the perfect truth to get out of him. Something I didn't already know about vampires. Something I didn't know about their vampire powers. Something that only vampires should and would know about. Then it hit me. The perfect way to embarrass him in front of his whole family, and his 'parents'. I grinned. I could be so evil when I tried. I thought about how to word the question, then blurted it when he seemed distracted.
"Edward, when was the last time you pleasured yourself?" I asked it as if I were merely asking the time. He looked displeased at my question but I only smiled.
"Well?" I prompted when he didn't answer.
He sighed in defeat, closed his eyes and looked at the floor, "I haven't in a while. When you've been alive for so long, and you never sleep, you sometimes need a distraction from real life. And sometimes…that's the only thing that springs to mind. So, to answer your question," he paused and sighed, "it was…Saturday."
I choked back a gasp: that was the day he was with me. That was the day we went to the movies. That was the day he drove me home. That was the day he had that mysterious twinkle in his eyes. I couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped my throat this time. He looked at me apologetically. Jasper fidgeted, obviously remembering the day. Obviously remembering the emotions that were coming off Edward at his time of need. I giggled.
"What are you laughing at?" Edward asked suspicious.
"Its just hard to comprehend. It just doesn't seem that vampires are able to do that stuff, like…you're full of venom. How does it work? Y'know the…" I couldn't finish before the laughing started again. I felt my cheeks go hot as I realized I was discussing the subject of masturbation with my fiancé in front of his entire family. I had completely forgot about them.
I felt a shaking, and I slowly opened my eyes. The light streamed in through Edward's window. I stretched and yawned, sitting up. I looked around. The entire Cullen family were staring at me with curiosity.
"What?" I croaked.
"What were you dreaming about?" I heard Edward's voice. But he wasn't with the rest of his family. He was sat next to me in bed, grinning sweetly.
"Just truth or dare. The question you asked me and the question I asked you."
"So you were dreaming about wearing a thong?"
I blushed, "No. But that question was in my dream."
Suddenly Edward smirked, and he reached into his pocket. Between his fore finger and thumb, he held my red lace thongs above my head. I went tomato coloured instantly, and I fought against his grip. The family was roaring with laughter. I buried my head in my hands and refused to think.
"Bella? Love, don't be embarrassed. I think they'd look sexy on you." He grinned as I lifted my head to face him. As if I could get any more red, which I thought was impossible, I went as red as my panties and snatched them out of his hand, muttering profanities under my breath. I hid them under the silky, gold duvet of Edward's bed and hung my head. The rest of the family had gone to leave us privacy.
"So you actually took on the challenge and snuck to my house, rummaged around my drawers and brought back to me the thongs that Alice had bought for me about 4 months ago?"
"Yes," he smiled.
"You do silly things when you're in love," I joked.
It was silent for a few minutes then.
"Who told you where they were?"
"Alice…" Edward muttered.
I felt furious. She had known all along. She had seen this coming. She knew I would pick truth, so she persuaded Edward to ask that question. She knew where they were. She had seen me stuff them away when I got back from shopping with her. She had told Edward. And that's where I showed up, as red as a fire engine.
I grinned and looked at Edward. He knew, even if he couldn't read my mind, that I was conjuring up some evil plan. He looked confused, glanced toward the door, and then back to me, a smile forming on his face. I nodded and he sprinted out the door, knocking it off its hinges. I started to think absentmindedly when I heard a shriek, a large crash and a booming laughter from downstairs.
I smiled, taking a sip from the mug of coffee Edward had made me. I finished the mug, looked at the wall and grinned.
Its all in a days work, Bella, I thought to myself, Its all in a days work.