HI EVERYONE I AM BACK AND NANAMI IS BACK

IM SORRY! i said i wouldn't abandon my fic but i did! but it is okay! i am rewriting from scratch, all the good scenes will still be in there but it will be BETTER!
the lore of gintama has changed so much that it made continuing the old fic redundant as well as i was unhappy with the quality of some of the story. i will work hard to DEsue nanami and make the whole fic better quality and more enjoyable

for those who are new hai welcome this is my baby, my first fanfiction RREWRITTEN.

updates will be slow because i will be alternating between all my fanfictions and my art

Google "NonieBee" and you will find my deviantart! i will also be posting on there

okay let's do this

Chapter 1: Hardened emotions

Smoke wafted away from her lips, and up into the slowly reddening sky.
Nanami adjusted her posture as she leaned on the brick wall. She brought her cigarette back to her lips she inhaled deeply.

The doc would be furious if he knew she was smoking, but she really didn't care. She hadn't seen or heard from the man in years. For all he knew she was already dead and his efforts to revive her were all for none.

Even if she was in contact it wouldn't stop her. The cravings to smoke were almost like a fake purpose in her directionless life, it gave her a false sense of need. It wasn't much, but it helped her carry on. Without that she was empty.
The health impact did not worry her either, she did not care about dying; she felt as though she was already dead. She had lost everything from her old life, long ago and now it was as if she was just living on a whim. Keeping on only because she had survived, barely.

She had been drifting through life, through jobs and through towns for years. How many years was it?
Now she was in Edo working at a small shipping company. It wasn't much, but it was enough to live off. She hadn't been in town long, she was fortunate to get a job so easily. She even got place to stay, a,nunused back room in the building she worked in. Unfortunately though, it wasn't the job she planned on having.
She applied and was accepted to do manual labour, moving crates and occasional handling of documents. THAT was what she signed up for, but that was not what she was stuck doing.

The boss had decided to "promote" her to working with the clients. She was made to dress up pretty, serve tea and greet them with a smile. Really, it sucked.

How could she smile? She had nothing to smile about.

"OI Nami!" The harsh voice of her boss interrupted her thoughts, "Get in here!"

Nanami angrily clicked her tongue as she but out her cigarette on the wall. Damn Geezer messing up her name again, did she look like a redheaded pirate to him? Her name was Nanami. Nanami Yoshida, but just Nanami was fine! It pissed her off when someone didn't respect her enough to even try to get her name right. But it upset her more when they think that they are allowed to shorten it or use any sort of nickname. Only close friends and family have that privilege, and she had no one like that.

She checked the watch on her wrist. There was an hour left before work ended, if there was a new deal going down she was going to be kept late. Again!

She straitened a fold in her kimono and proceeded into the building internally grumbling. Why did she have to wear a full kimono? Why couldn't she wear some goddamn pants? With all the fashion progress that had happened since the amanto arrived you would think she would be able to wear something that isn't a stupid skirt or that isn't so damn restricting.
She passed her boss in the hall as she headed for the bathroom, intending to wash up.

"There you are!" he said with a huff, "New clients will be arriving imminently, I want you in the front room in two minutes!" the stout man commanded as he looked at her, all but her face. Perverted man.

"Yessir." She managed a half smile and turned away, continuing to the bathroom.
She washed her hands of any ash and neatened her hair. She pulled a small perfume bottle from her sleeve and dabbed a few drops on, covering the cigarette smell as much as she could.
She wouldn't care but some clients could be a pain in the arse about it.

"How can I help you gentlemen?" The boss was already speaking when she entered the room. He was addressing the two men that sat across from him.
Nanami barely looked at the two before quietly kneeling beside and slightly behind her boss. She stared blankly at the handful of papers that were pinned to a small clipboard, sitting on a small table between them and the two clients.
The boss gave her a quick glare then turned back to the men before them, smiling happily. He brought his palms together and asked the question again, this time not interrupted by Nanami walking in.
"Sorry about that," he grinned, "so how can our company help you today, sirs?" He picked up the clipboard and squinted, looking it over, "Oh sorry what were your names? I seem to not have them here."

"Hiji-" the closer of the two men spoke, suddenly stopping and thinking for a moment, "Smith. My name is T- Toshizo Smith."

Nanami looked up at the man, he was blushing slightly hiding behind his dark v-shaped bangs and his friend was glaring at him. He was obviously lying, but what was with that body language? Why would he choose such a pathetic lie like that? Was he not used to lying?
It wasn't too unusual for people to use false names with this company; they weren't exactly law abiding people. Most of the people who commissioned the company were riffraff smuggling junk, and a majority of them were Jouishishi dealing weapons and other supplies. In fact, a lot of the staff was former Jouishishi samurai; herself included.

She was actually studying the two men now; they looked different to their usual clientele. They were clearly samurai, judging from the sword they each had on their hip. But unlike most of the ronin that had blown in so far, they were too clean. Their clothes and hair were neat, but most of all, they lacked the look of desperation in their eyes.

Her attention snapped to the second man as he sighed and ran his hand through his sandy hair.
"Yeah and I am Soji Okidokiwatatakashima-san," he leaned back on his palms, "nice to meet you."
How the dark haired Hiji-smith man was glaring at him, he just smirked in response. Again with a bad, fake name, a ridiculously long one at that. But this one wasn't out of panic and inexperience; it seemed to be comically chosen. The second man seemed to not care at all about the situation and just wanted to make his 'friend's life hell.

Nanami looked back to her boss, curious to see his reaction.
He was still smiling a creepy closed eyes smile. He took out a pen and started scribbling down the names but paused. He then placed the clipboard on the table and pen on top and slid it across the table towards the men.
Good call.

Okidoki grabbed it and went ahead filling out both of their names, while Hiji-smith fumbled through his kimono. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, sticking one to his bottom lip.
Nanami shuffled aside to a small chest of drawers, she opened the drawer and received a small ashtray. She then moved to the table and placed it in front of the man, as he watched her every move.
When he started patting himself down grimacing, she retrieved her own lighter from her sleeve and clicked it, offering the lit device to the man.

He paused to study the girl but then obliged, leaning forwards placing the tip of his cancer stick in the small flame.
He offered a small "thanks" as he watched the small ember grow. His eyes flicked to the woman as her eyes were still on the flame.

Her eyes were sad, so sad; so empty.

She sighed and released the small button letting the small flame go out. Her sigh, like her eyes, portrayed her true emotions.
The small sound brought his attention to her lips, he noticed a scar beneath them tracing down to her chin. He wondered how she got it. Her mouth tightened into a small line and he looked back to her eyes.
She had noticed his staring, and she was staring straight back at him; grey eyes boring into his. He blushed and looked at his lap but his eyes soon returned to her face. She had shifted her sitting position to face the table, neatly with her hands in her lap, staring blankly at the wall. She glanced back at him, catching his gaze again, his eyes seemed worried; she couldn't deal with that.
Nanami gave him a weak smile, and then dragged her gaze away as she felt her features betray her.

She turned back to her boss; who was talking about disclaimers, casually doing the thing he does, to carefully find out if his clients intend to ship things that are not legal. Okidoki was leaning an elbow on the table, casually doodling on the document he was supposed to fill out. Hijismith was murmuring back responses, still watching her, out of the corner of his eye.

Nanami tightened her jaw and closed her eyes. This was too much. Most of the men that came by either were flirty, obnoxious or indifferent. She could deal with that, but this guy was actually seeing her, and that somehow scared her.
This was the first time a client had showed compassion to her. First time anyone had in a long time. If this went on much longer, she wouldn't be able too keep her emotions in check.

She tried to tune into the conversation but was unable to. She usually didn't care- no. She still didn't care about negotiations. She was just trying to block out the feelings of eyes on her.
When she heard a break in the conversation she cleared her throat, stealing the attention of the other two men in the room.
"Would anyone like some tea? Coffee maybe we have that too." She slowly stood up, hoping that at least one of them said yes, she needed a break from that room.
"Wonderful idea," her boss beamed, and clapped his hands together, "our Nami here makes the best brew! Care to try some?"

"Uh sure, Tea please" Hijismith answered then turned to his friend who had drawn a caricature of him with poop on his head. Ignoring that, he addressed the man, "Soug- Soji?"

Okidoki's posture drooped and he rolled his eyes, he gave an affirmative hum and started drawing little arrows piercing his little HijiSmith caricature.
Nanami forced a smile, nodded and started out of the room.

"Tea all round, Darlin'," the boss chuckled and smacked her behind as she passed. Sddhe tripped slightly from the impact but recovered and just continued her way, without even bothering to glare at him.
The conversation continued as she left, picking up momentum even. Maybe because she wasn't there to distract them. But she didn't care either way, neither did she care that she could have sworn that she heard the word mayonnaise.

Once she was out of the room and the paper door behind her was closed, she released her proper posture and let the fake smile fall from her face. So tedious.

Since her 'promotion' it had been hard, smiling dealing with people. Drifting, doing nothing mentally strenuous. That was how she was how she had been surviving thus far. Social interaction made her emotions come back, the emotions she had suppressed for so long; she couldn't allow that. Maybe she would talk to the boss and try to get her old position back. Maybe she would just quit and find somewhere else.

Her mind continued to wander as she made it to the kitchen and started preparing the tea.
She watched the steam rise from the kettle, slowly swirling. The face of the man she had only just met stuck in her mind, he looked concerned and curious. It was almost like he recognised her, or recognised part of her. It was like he was staring into her soul, like she was made of glass.

But what got to her most was that he reminded her of someone from long ago. Someone precious linked to painful memories. She felt her eyes water. She cussed as she looked up blinking away any possibility of crying.
This was ridiculous.

She had locked away all of that stuff; if she let it come back she wouldn't be able to go on.
She clenched her fist and smacked it down onto the bench, trying to force her mind to cooperate. In doing so she clipped the edge of the kettle, spilling boiling water on herself.
Shit, that fucking hurt. But she was kind of thankful as it brought her back to reality. She quickly gathered all of the things she needed onto her tray and returned to the room.

She plastered another phony smile onto her face before she opened the door.
"Sorry to keep you waiting." she said as she kneeled by the table and poured the tea, then placed a cup in front of each of the three men.
She then retreated to her original seat by her boss out of the way business. She quietly sat there, pressing her thumb into the small red burn on her hand, using the sensation to block out all thoughts. And to her relief, none of the three men payed her any attention. That made it easier.

Soon all negotiations were complete, forms were filled out and handshakes were exchanged between the boss and the two clients.
Nanami walked the two men to the door as she usually did with clients, politely seeing them off
"Thank you for coming to our company with your contract," she spoke as she respectfully bowed to them. "Someone will contact you tomorrow on the number you provided with details."

Not saying anymore and not allowing them to address her. She quickly turned away, and made her way back inside. She was going to get her jacket, tell her boss she was done for the day then go for a walk.
She needed the fresh air, and another damn cigarette.

and there you have it! i am back it is true

old readers please let me know what parts of the old fics are your fave and i will make sure to keep them!
also any suggestions of what to happen also welcome!

i also need a new name for miss Rei that will appear later!

and a reminder that this story is long as fuck and will be broken into 4 parts as per the original plan
reuniting with the lost, Reuniting makes new begginings, and then two more :P

i will get onto writing the next chapter as soon as possible!

also make sure to go check out my friend Sisi427's fics. i made a deal with her that i would bring back Nanami if she continued her kamuixoc fic Army Rose and do a oneshot to continue her Dark silk!

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