PLEASE READ FIRST!
Hello world of FanFic, it's been too long. There are a few important notes to begin this story:
1) For the purposes of this story the kids were 11 in the show, because I want Candace to be 4 years older than the crew. Just to make her place in life make sense.
2) As mentioned in the story description, this story is pretty heavy. The important part to mention is that some things I am writing about I have experienced, self-harm is something I have come close to doing, and some are a beyond my understanding. I'm not going to disclose publically all that I have or have not experienced, however, if I write something you have a question about, please feel free to PM me and I am happy to discuss. Especially if you believe I inaccurately or inappropriately described something, as I really don't want that.
3) I reiterate, there are mentions, though not explicit descriptions, of self-harm and domestic violence. Consider this warning and if the mention of it happening and some psychological reactions to it are triggers, I suggest not reading this story. My goal is to talk about tough things in a respectful manner.
4) I have been in an emotional, spiritual (I am a Christian), and writing rut. This is largely a way to help me get out of that place. If the spiritual thing scares you off, don't worry, it won't be present in the story; it's more of author honesty.
Anyways, that was long, but given the content of my story, it's important to me. So please enjoy!
All characters belong to Dan Povenmire and Jeff Marsh and I'm thankful for the creative medium that FanFic provides.
Isabella's POV:
I sat perfectly still. I never much cared much for the long ride between college and home and it was made even worse when Mama couldn't get work off to pick me up. Thankfully, my roommate, Molly, lives near school and was able to take the stuff I couldn't fit into my luggage. Even more thankfully, she would be visiting in June, so I wouldn't have to go too long without some of my things that I really did want to bring home, but just couldn't fit. I had changed a lot over freshman year, and despite my weariness towards riding alone on a bus, this was the first chance I had to reflect upon all the change.
I went into freshman year full of life and ready to take on the world. My expectation was that my freshman roommate and I would be the best of friends and that Public Relations would be the perfect major for me. I dreamed of romance—heck, I dreamed of romance wherever I went before my horrible first semester of college! I thought that freshman year was the beginning of the rest of my life: a life away from dreams of Phineas and the wild inventions of him and Ferb.
When I thought about Ferb, my reflections on freshman year shifted. I knew he had been suspicious of my horrible semester at Christmas break, but my goal of Christmas break was to make sure no one, and I mean NO ONE had any idea what happened to me my first semester of college. But Ferb, dear Ferb—if I can call him that—had figured it out and made me tell him everything. I told him all about my crappy roommate and how I had to switch rooms after Thanksgiving because of how bad it got. And the boy that I went on a few dates with, who did not agree on how slowly I wanted to take the relationship. Lastly, I told him my major crisis when I got kicked out of my major—yes, first semester—for failing both communications and Intro to Public Relations. I took some time to think about it and changed my major to Human Services, on the track leading to social work. Everyone knew I changed my major, but they figured it was because I realized that social work was a better fit for me.
I absently wiped a tear, hoping the man I was sitting next to wouldn't acknowledge me. As my luck would have it, he turned, "Are you okay, miss?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, just as I had rehearsed in front of my mirror, "I got an eyelash in my eye."
"Ah, sorry to bother you," he replied.
I held in my sigh of relief. He seemed kind enough, but I could never be too sure after everything at the beginning of the year. I glanced down at my scarred wrist and sighed, what has happened to me?
Spring semester had been so much better and I decided to embrace the positive change. I donated my long hair at the beginning of the semester, getting it cut to a bob. I didn't like the bob much, but now that it's grown to my shoulders, I love it. I also got my ears pierced a second time. I didn't always wear my contacts anymore, either. I still wear them a lot, but I wear my glasses at least one day per week. I started scratching at my scars. Molly had caught me hurting myself and took me to the counseling center, which helped a lot. At first I was annoyed at her, but I am living with a psychology major, so I should expect it a little. She also was doing it not to treat me like a future patient, but to truly be a good friend. She really helped me and I haven't tried to hurt myself since February.
That's the one thing Ferb does not know about. And I intend on hiding it. I'll usually put make up over it, but today I'll just put a sweater on when I'm about to get off the bus. Ferb is picking me up from the bus station and he is the most observant, so I have to be very careful if I want to hide this from him. I took out my phone and looked at my background: a picture of Ferb and I laughing at each other all decked out for prom. When I was eleven, I never would have imagined myself going to senior prom with Ferb, but it was just as magical as I ever imagined senior prom would be. I didn't get a kiss or lose my shoe at midnight like Cinderella, but it was wonderful. That memory made me smile brighter than any other did.
After another two hours, we finally pulled up at the bus station I'd be getting off at. It was in a town called Millersville, about ten miles from Danville. I put on my sweater, then pulled my bags off the bus in a less than graceful fashion. I looked up to see my favorite Brit laughing at me. "Ferb!" I dropped my luggage a few feet away from the bus and ran into his arms, "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too, Bella. Please tell me the spring has been better than the fall," he….almost pleaded, actually, which I never thought I'd hear from Ferb. He talks much more than he used to, but only around his family, me, and a few of our close friends. Though the last one is still a rarity. "Bella?" He said again, pulling me out of my trance.
"Sorry, Ferb, I'm in a very reflective mood today."
"How about I get your stuff to the car and we can talk more in there," he suggested. I nodded, yet again distracted. I stayed close by Ferb's side, hoping he sensed that something was wrong. And by something, I mean, I was currently looking at the guy I dated first semester, Ray. Death-gripping Ferb's arm was all I could do not to hold myself together.
To my horror, Ray looked up and saw me, "Belle, how have you been?" He ran up to me, arms open wide for a hug, which caused me to grip Ferb's shoulder more firmly.
"Bella, who is this?" Ferb asked quietly. All I did in response was bury my head in his shoulder and shake my head violently. Ferb got the message, "Excuse me, but we really must go." With that, he picked up my luggage and we walked to the car.
I glanced back and to my horror, he was following us, "Ferb," I whispered, panic-stricken.
When we finally made it to the car, Ferb locked the doors before pulling me into a tight hug, "Was that Ray?" I nodded my head. "I'm so sorry, Bella…What can I do for you?"
"Just hold me," I whispered.
Ferb's POV:
I had never seen Isabella this broken. I held her in my arms and gently rubbed my hand up and down her one arm. "We'll take a scenic route to Danville. If he tries to follow us in a car, I can lose him. He won't know where you live, I promise."
"He knows I live in Danville, Ferb…"
"Does he know how to get there?" I shook my head. "Do you think he may have been here for another reason?"
"His mom lives in the Tri-State Area."
I made my mouth into an 'o' but no sound came out. I hate seeing her cry and in this moment, more than ever before, I wished I could make some sort of invention to fix all of her problems. Her form was so small in my arms, I am fairly certain she had lost weight during freshman year. I kept rubbing her arm until I felt something rough on the smooth skin of her left wrist, "Bella…"
She looked up at me with horror in her eyes. Not the same horror that was there when she saw Ray, but it broke my heart to see that look. She pulled her left arm from me, but I was quicker and grabbed it, pulling it towards me. I gently pushed up her sleeve to reveal scars on her wrist. Scars that could only be put there by her own hand. "Bella, when did this happen?" I asked softly, trying not to scare her and to keep my anger in check. It wasn't anger towards her, necessarily. In a small way it was, but I was mostly angry at myself that I didn't see this sooner that I couldn't help her.
"I-it hasn't happened since F-F-February…V-Valentine's Day to b-b-b-be exact," she admitted.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"I-I…I didn't want you to be disappointed in me," she whispered, evening her voice. She sat up, "Can we start driving? I'll talk to you, Ferb, I just…I need to be away from…him."
"Of course," I replied. I kissed her temple before pulling away from her to start the car. "I'm sorry the beginning of your summer has been so rough," I said slowly, pausing to formulate my next thought well, "I'm not disappointed in you, Bella. I'm a bit disappointed that this happened and that you didn't tell me. How long did this go on?"
"It started the first time Ray…the first time he hit me. I went to the bathroom that night and…yeah."
"Who found out?" I knew Bella wouldn't be able to get herself out of a rut. Someone must have discovered what was going on.
"Molly. She dragged me—lovingly—to the counseling center. Well, Carrie knew about it, but she didn't say anything."
"What an awful person," I scoffed.
"We were never friends, just roommates," Isabella defended.
"That's no excuse," I replied firmly. I reached my hand over and held hers, forcing myself not to touch her wrist again.
"I…"
"Shh…" I said quietly, "you don't need to say anything."
The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet. Thankfully, Ray did not try to follow us in his car. Perhaps he does not have one, but I was glad to just get Bella home. I could hardly believe how much has changed; some for the best, but Bella losing her innocence does not fit into the latter category. "Do you want to come over to my house so you are not alone?"
"Could you just come over to mine?" she requested, "I don't want to be around your whole family right now…too much explaining."
"Bella, would it be such a bad idea for you to explain things?"
"Yes," she insisted.
Isabella's POV:
Well, so much for Ferb not finding out, but on my dead body will his family find out about fall semester and everything that came from it.
"Bella, I don't think us going to your house is a good idea."
"Why not?" I asked.
"I just…I don't, Bella, could you please just come to my house?"
"How about we take my stuff back to my house and I clean up a little? We can go to your house in a few minutes."
"Alright." Ferb complied. When we got inside, he sat on the living room couch and I went upstairs. I washed my face and put a bit of foundation and cover up over my scar. Then I put on a pair of denim shorts and a tank top and searched for a sheer long sleeved shirt to help cover my arm, but still keep me cool. About fifteen minutes after arriving home, Ferb and I walked across the street to his house.
"Isabella!" I heard Candace's excited voice. We had gotten rather close in the past few years. In fact, I'm going to be a bridesmaid in her wedding that's finally happening in June. That's actually why Molly is coming up. Turns out, she's Jeremy's cousin. Candace pulled me into a tight hug, "So I hear your best friend at college is Jeremy's cousin?"
"Yeah," I replied, "Molly is really great."
"I've met her once; I liked her a lot. I'm glad you found such a good friend." Candace pulled me by both arms to the couch, "How was the rest of freshman year?"
The last time we had talked, I was in a bit of a rut. Candace doesn't know quite as much as Ferb, but she knows a decent bit, "I'm doing better. I blocked Ray on everything. And Molly is a much better roommate than Carrie was, so I'm much more…stable."
"What's wrong, Isabella?"
"We had a run in with Ray," Ferb cut in.
"Ferb!"
"Candace deserves to know," he said simply.
"What'd he do?" Candace asked, this time directed at Ferb.
"Talked to her, tried to hug her…he followed us to the car, but left once we drove off."
"That's so frustrating," Candace hugged me again, turning her full attention to me, "I'm sure you'll find someone who deserves you, Isabella. Or…have you already found someone?" She had this mischievous grin on her face and Ferb gasped.